A Father's Intuition
James would never forget the day that Sirius Black showed up on his parent’s doorstep in the dead of night–still Padfoot–shaking, bloody, and drenched from the rain.
He coaxed the dog in the door, only for him to collapse unconscious the second he was before the threshold. James had picked him up and screamed up the stairs for his parents. His mum had come down running, only wearing one slipper.
His mum cleaned Padfoot up the best she could while he was a dog and then propped him up in front of the fire with a soft blanket, a hefty quilt, and warming charms. James laid beside Padfoot for three days until he finally woke up. It took him and his parents the rest of the Christmas holiday to convince him to turn back into Sirius.
They went back to Hogwarts late the next term. If his mum had her way, Sirius never would have gone back. It was only McGonagall coming to the Potter residence with promises of weekly visits in her office that convinced his mum to let him go.
James remembered thinking his mum was being ridiculous and that Sirius had to go back to school eventually. He had written Peter and Remus and said as much. Peter sent back flowers from his plants in the greenhouse, and Remus sent chocolate frogs; they both sent their love.
Looking at Harry now, James thought his mother had acquiesced Sirius too quickly. How was he ever supposed to let his son go back to Hogwarts? Although, perhaps he wouldn’t have to. Maybe Harry dropping out of Hogwarts was for the best; this way, James could keep him stowed away, safe from harm.
Harry flinched at everything, and he searched every room, muscles coiled tight like he was ready for attack at a moment’s notice. It reminded him of Sirius in those early days after he had run away. James still couldn’t stomach that it was his son acting like that.
He was trying to keep his promise to Lily, but Harry was not making it easy. The boy sure knew how to hide. He finally found his moment in the garden after watching Harry and Fred throw gnomes out over the far hill in a competition.
“Harry!” James yelled, jogging up behind him as the boy hurried to follow Fred in the back door.
He stopped and turned back to James, waving Fred in the house ahead of him.
Despite having spent days trying to track his son down, he had not really prepped what to say in his head.
“How are you doing?” James asked, trying for casual, as he shoved his hands in his trouser pockets.
Harry scrunched up his face, “You called me over to ask how I’m doing?”
James reached up to run his hand through his hair and scrambled for something to say, “No, uh, well…yes? No. Oh, Merlin…”
Harry blinked at him and waited for him to speak.
“I would like to talk to you,” James said finally.
“You are talking to me,” Harry said.
“Yes, well. About something particular,” James tried again.
“That’s usually how conversations go.”
James had to hold back a laugh, “Very observant, Prongslet. Alright, well, no point skipping around it. I heard you’re dropping out of school.”
Harry shrugged, “Yeah, I am.”
“That’s a big decision. Can I ask why?” He said.
“There’s something I have to do. It’s important,” Harry said firmly.
“More important than school?” James asked, crossing his arms casually.
“Yes.”
“Oh, an adventure!” James laughed, “Always loved a good adventure myself.”
“Sure, an adventure,” Harry said, confused.
“Sounds like it’s a big deal if you can’t do it at school,” James said, readjusting his glasses.
“It is,” Harry said.
James nodded, “How important are we talking? Life or death?”
“Well, it is a war,” Harry said.
“Yes, but you’re a child. It’s not your responsibility to fight,” He said.
Harry took a small step back and scoffed, and James knew he had found his angle, “Unless it is,” He quickly corrected himself, “Your responsibility to fight, that is.”
Harry bit his cheek and nodded, “It is. It always has been.”
James whistles, "That’s a lot of responsibility, kid. It must be hard.”
“I can manage it,” Harry said.
“Oh, yes, of course you can,” James said, “You know, Sirius and I were your age when we joined the Order.”
Harry looked interested, “Your parents let you fight when you were seventeen?”
James laughed, “Merlin, no, my mother would’ve sooner inccarcerous’ed us to our rooms until the end of the war. My parents had just died: Dragonpox. My dad went first. Mum was on the mend, actually, but she died three days later. I always told Sirius that I figured she was too heartbroken to live without him.”
“I’m sorry,” Harry said.
“It’s alright,” James said with a small smile, “Dumbledore needed me, and I signed up.”
“Exactly, so you understand why I have to do this,” Harry said, sounding relieved.
“It’s hard to say no when it’s Dumbledore asking. Makes you feel important,” James said.
Harry nodded.
“Is this the ‘project’ you’re reading that big book for?” James asked.
Harry stalled for a second before nodding.
James nodded too, “And was Dumbledore the one who gave it to you?”
Harry bit his cheek again, “I know that it doesn’t make sense, but I have to do this. Dumbledore gave me this himself. It’s very important.”
“Alright, what are we looking at here? Do you have to go somewhere? Do something?” James asked, listening intently.
Harry rocked back on his heels, “I have to retrieve something, several things.”
“Where are they?” James asked.
“I’m not sure.”
“So, you’re supposed to retrieve several things from several places, but you don’t know where they are? Do you at least know what you’re looking for?” James asked, baffled.
Harry paused, "No.”
“Why does it have to be you?” James asked his hand on his chin, thinking.
“Because it has to be. I’m the only one who can do it. I’m the only one who can find them,” Harry said.
“Why are you the only one who can find them?” James asked.
“Because…I’m the Chosen One,” Harry said lamely, playing with the edge of his shirt.
James scrunched his face in confusion, “What does that mean?”
“It means that I’m important,” Harry said, exasperated.
James laughed, “Brilliant. When do we set off?”
“What?” Harry asked, confused.
“When do we leave,” James clarified, “I want to make sure I have time to say goodbye to Moony before we hit the road.”
“You can’t come with me,” Harry said.
“Oh, I see. A seventeen-year-old is supposed to go off all alone to find some assortment of things in some assortment of places. That doesn’t sound ambiguous or dangerous at all,” James said sarcastically.
“Dumbledore thought I could handle it.”
“Have you ever stopped to think Dumbledore might be wrong?”
“What?” Harry scoffed.
“Don’t get me wrong, Harry. You’re a very capable young man. It doesn’t make much sense, though, does it?” James ran his hand through his hair, “You have to find some random objects somewhere in the world. But you can’t have any help. You have to do it alone. Either you are expendable, or somehow the most important person in wizarding Britain is supposed to do the impossible with no support at all. Now that doesn’t make sense to me. Does that make sense to you?”
Harry deflated slightly, “It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. Dumbledore told me I have to do it alone.”
James paused for a moment before sticking his hand out to shake, “Alright, let’s compromise. You have to tell me when you’re leaving.”
Harry rocked back on his heels, considering. He looked off at the house for a moment, where laughter could be heard, and stuck out his hand, “Deal.”
Not the ideal outcome, but that was alright. Now all James had to do was figure out how to steal back his invisibility cloak. He could follow him for a bit, and then he’d reveal himself once they were in too deep, and Harry had to let him come along.
“Prongs?” Remus called, sticking his head out the back door, “There you are.”
“What is it, Moony?” James asked.
“Mad-Eye is dead,” Remus said.
“Are you sure?” Harry asked, sharp.
“Bill saw it happen,” Remus said.
“Bill’s here?” Harry asked.
Remus nodded, and Harry sprinted up the steps into the house. James followed up after him, slower.
“What happened?” James asked once he got closer to Remus.
Remus shrugged, looking haggard, “I’m not sure. Bill didn’t say. He just came in all riled up, saying that we have to go get the body.”
“Merlin,” James said, pushing up his glasses to rub his eye. Remus patted him on the shoulder. James thanked his friend for the small comfort, and they walked into the living room.
“Bill, maybe you should sit down for a minute,” Fred tried to catch his brother’s attention.
“No, I don’t need to sit down. We need to go find his body,” The person, who must be Bill, insisted. He wasn’t what James had expected from the eldest Weasley. His long, red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and was that an earring?
“It’s alright, son, we’ll go and get it,” Arthur comforted his son.
“We have to go now. Before they try and take it.”
“Who?” Ginny asked.
“The Death Eaters,” Bill said, breathing heavily.
“We’ll call a meeting, with the Order, see what Severus thinks–” Molly began.
“Mum, we don’t have time for that,” Bill cut her off.
“Alright, we’ll go, Bill,” Arthur said, turning to ease Molly’s worries when she began to protest.
“I’ll go too,” James spoke before the words had even cycled through his brain.
Everyone turned to look at him, Lily began to protest. Before anyone could say anything, Bill said, “Who the hell is that?”
Arthur spoke up, “I’ll explain on the way. Let’s go, come on, James.”
James went over and kissed Lily on the head before walking over to Harry and ruffling his hair, and then he followed Arthur and Bill out the door.
He heard Remus go over to reassure Molly as he walked outside.
“James Potter? Are you serious?” He heard Bill ask as he walked down the steps.
James saw his opening, “Nope, Sirius was my best friend. I’m James. Nice to meet you,” He stuck out his hand for a handshake.
Bill reached out and grasped it tight, “I should’ve known. You look exactly like Harry.”
“I’ve heard that a couple of times,” James chuckled. He sobered up easily, “What happened to Mad-Eye?”
Bill looked distraught, “He floo-called me a few days ago. He said that something had happened to Harry,” He paused for a moment, looking at James conflicted, “We went to Privet Drive.”
“Oh,” James said, knowing what he meant by that.
“We cleaned it up, and then we went to contact family. Harry’s aunt, or well, his uncle’s sister. We went to speak to her in person. She was dead when we got there. She looked like she’d been dead for a while,” He swallowed, a sick look on his face, “Her dogs were eating her.”
“Is that how they got Harry’s address?” Mr. Weasley asked.
“I think so,” Bill said.
“Mad-Eye went to track down some cousin or other in Wales. We cleaned up her house too. He had to kill the dogs, though.”
“That was probably for the best,” Arthur said, also looking ill.
“We were supposed to meet up today to come here. He wanted to take the long way out of London to make sure we weren’t followed. We took several unregistered portkeys, bouncing all over Europe. We spent an hour or two in Romania after our fourth or fifth stop to make sure we weren’t followed before making our way back to England. I’m not sure what happened. We were in Austria, or maybe Poland, when they attacked us. I was able to grab Mad-Eye and apparate, but he’d already been hit, so all I managed to do was splinch him. He was in bad shape. I was about to call a Patronus when they caught up to us again. I tried to drag him, but he was already gone. I fought them off until I got the next portkey in his hand, and his body was gone before apparating back to the Ministry and flooing here.”
“He could be anywhere in Europe?” Arthur asked.
“God, I hope not,” Remus said, carefully shutting the front door.
“Are you coming as well, Lupin?” Arthur asked.
“Yes, I figured you might need someone of my expertise.”
“Remus was the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor a few years back,” Bill whispered to James.
James felt his heart melt at the thought. He could see it now: Professor Remus John Lupin, with his ratty cardigans and corduroy trousers, teaching children how to defend themselves. Moony must’ve been phenomenal at that.
“I hope we’re not actually going all over Europe,” Remus chuckled, “I’m not as young as I used to be.”
“No, we were heading back towards England when we were intercepted. We were repeating jumps, so my best guess is somewhere between Poland and Germany,” Bill said.
“Alright then. Let’s do this,” James said.
They all linked arms, and Bill aparated them to the first location.
After scouring every square inch of the hidden tunnel, alleyway, and forest in Germany that Mad-Eye and Bill had wandered through, Bill was antsier than ever, and James thought his body might actually explode if they apparated one more time. They took a break on a street corner in Salzburg to give their poor organs a moment of rest, and then they were back at it. James could tell Arthur was getting ready to call it quits until the farm in Burgenland.
There was a baby cow facing away from them and mooing pitifully, nudging its head into something and whining. James knew already, without seeing him, that it was Mad-Eye.
James had seen dead bodies plenty of times, but he almost threw up when he saw Mad-Eye’s body slumped over. The right side of his face was purple and rigid from all the blood pooling into it against the ground. His magic eye had popped off his face and was hanging limply by the strap, and maggots were crawling in and out of both eye sockets. His body looked stiffer than wood. The smell was the worst thing James had smelled in his entire life.
He turned away.
“Oh God,” he heard Remus say from beside him. He felt his friend grasp his shoulder, “You alright, Prongs?”
James nodded, “Yeah, the smell is just awful.”
Arthur cast some sort of bubble charm to encase the smell. It suddenly became more bearable to breathe. The four men looked at each other for a moment.
“I’ll contact Kingsley, see what we should do. Where are we, Bill?” Arthur asked.
“Burgenland, Austria,” Bill said, not looking away from Mad-Eye.
Arthur nodded and walked a little ways away to send a Patronus to Kingsley.
James moved over to sit in the grass beside Remus, slumped against the fence. James began to worry about Bill when he finally tore his eyes away from the body and came to sit on Remus’s other side.
“Mad-Eye dead. I can’t believe he actually died. I always thought he was too paranoid, even for death to catch him.”
“Death comes for us all in the end,” Bill said, solemn before realizing who he was talking to, “Sorry–”
James waved him off, “No need. It’s true.”
Arthur walked over to them after Kingsley’s lynx bounded away into shimmery mist, “Kingsley said to take him back to the house. The Order will come by tonight, and we’ll give him a proper burial.”
They all stood up slowly and made their way back over to the body. Arthur took hold of Mad-Eye’s arm, and they made the series of jumps back to the Burrow. Molly jumped up from where she was knitting on the porch beside Lily and Tonks and ran down to meet them. She grabbed her son and held his face tightly in hers before hugging Arthur. James watched as she even hugged Remus.
It caught him off guard when her arms came around his neck, “I’m so glad you’re all alright,” She said, almost crying, “We were so worried.”
James took a few steps over to block her line of sight to the body.
“We found him,” Bill said, smiling tightly through his own tears.
“Good,” Molly said, hugging her son again.
“The Order will be here tonight. He’s going to get a proper funeral,” Bill said.
“Well, I better go whip up some extra food then,” Molly said with a smile. Arthur kissed her head, and she rubbed his back from where he had his arm wrapped around her. She pulled away and headed into the house.
“I’ll come help you, Molly,” Lily said, standing up.
“Thank you, dear.”
James jogged up the porch steps to hug his wife. She clung to his back.
“I’m glad you’re alright,” She whispered.
“I wish I could say the same for Mad-Eye,” James said quietly.
“I’m sorry, love.”
“It’s alright. You want me to help with dinner?” James asked, trying to divert her attention from the fact he was trying not to cry.
It worked. She laughed and hit him lightly on the chest, “God, no. Stay out of every kitchen in a 100-kilometer radius, Potter.”
He laughed and sat on the porch steps, looking up at the twilight sky. Remus walked over, leaning more into his left leg than his right, and slowly settled down next to him with a groan.
“You’re getting creaky in your old age, Moony,” James teased.
“Shut up,” Remus laughed, elbowing James.
“Seriously, we’re going to have to work on that if you’re going to have a baby running around soon,” James said, looking at his friend with a small smile.
Remus’s head whipped over to look at James so fast, “How did you know?”
James shrugged, “Father’s intuition.”
Remus chuckled before asking timidly, “Is it that obvious?”
“No,” James shook his head, “I just know you.”
Remus let out a breath before looking back to where Tonks was helping Arthur wrap Mad-Eye’s body.
“How did that happen?” James asked, gesturing to Tonks.
Remus sighs before looking at his wife and then glancing back at James, “Firewisky and grief.”
James quietly says, holding back a laugh, “So, you slept with your husband’s cousin because you both missed him?”
Remus stills for a moment, and James can feel the backtrack on the tip of his tongue, but then his friend begins to laugh, and he safely lets out a giggle.
The soft laughter becomes loud and mirthful. James caught sight of Molly and Lily glancing at them, concerned, from where they were setting plates on the dinner table. They pay them and all the other eyes no mind as they lean on each other and laugh. For a moment, it’s like nothing has changed.
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds kind of awful,” Remus said, wiping at the moisture in his eyes.
“Nah, you’re a good man, mate,” James says, lightly clapping him on the shoulder.
“Thanks, Prongs.”
After a moment, Remus adds, “I never thought I would be happy again. After Sirius…”
“You are, though? Happy?” James asked, leaning back against the stair behind him.
“As anyone can be these days,” Remus shrugged.
“Mother Moony,” James said, giggling again.
“Oh, Merlin,” Remus rolled his eyes, “not this again.”
“No, really,” James insisted, “Mother Moony, but for real now. You were always taking care of all of us lads. You’re gonna be a great dad, Moony.”
Remus smiled softly and looked at Tonks again, “I hope so.”
“James, can I speak with you for a moment?” Arthur asked.
“Yeah,” James clambered up, and Tonks took his place on the stairs leaning into Remus.
James turned back to look at them again while Arthur led him to his shed. He smiled looking at how happy his best friend looked with his wife leaning against him, looking up at the stars. He lingered for a second longer before ducking into the shed behind Arthur.
“I was going to give this to Harry, initially, for his birthday. I figured he would want it. But then, I was thinking that you might like it.”
James watched as he pulled the tarp off, and his breath caught in his throat.
Sirius’s bike.
“It’s yours if you want it, James. Sirius would want you to have this,” Arthur said, holding the keys for James to take.
“Thank you,” James said, still breathless, as he took the keys.
He ran his hand slowly down the edge of the metal and down the seat. He paused for a moment, closing his eyes. He could almost still feel himself riding with Padfoot, laughing in front of him as he screamed as it flew from the road up into the air. James would never forget watching him build this on their parent’s front lawn. Their mum hated it but was happy Sirius was happy. She even went into town to the muggle auto shop herself to get all the tools for him to fix it up for his birthday.
James knew he’d probably never be able to ride it without Sirius, but it was nice to have. The tears won their battle this time and he sunk to his knees, crying as he clung to the leather seat.