The Prank That Nearly Ended Hell
Vaggie had heard Charlie make the promise a hundred times.
"If you ever leave me, I will tear Hell apart to find you."
It was always said with a dramatic pout, clinging arms, and the absolute certainty of a spoiled princess who had never once been denied something she wanted.
Vaggie, of course, adored her. But she also couldn’t help but wonder—just how serious was Charlie?
So, after weeks of planning, she set up her prank.
She made sure to pick the perfect night—one where Charlie was out handling business with her dad. Vaggie wrote a note, making it look as rushed and emotional as possible:
"Charlie, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but I need space. Don’t look for me."
Then, she disappeared. Not far—just to the attic of the hotel, where she could watch everything unfold.
She expected Charlie to freak out. Maybe scream, cry a little, throw some things around.
What she didn’t expect was absolute destruction.
Hour One: Realization
Charlie entered their bedroom, humming a tune, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the note.
Silence.
Then, a soft, choked sound.
Then—
BOOM.
The entire building shook.
"VAGGIE!!!"
A shriek of pure, unhinged rage rang through the hotel.
Hour Two: Chaos Begins
Alastor, sipping tea in the lounge, barely glanced up as the walls trembled.
"Ah. There she goes."
Angel peered out from behind the couch. “Uh. Should we… like… stop her?”
Husk took a long sip of his whiskey. “Nope.”
Meanwhile, Charlie was already storming through the halls, kicking down every single door she came across.
She ripped sheets off empty beds. She flung furniture aside like it weighed nothing.
"WHERE IS SHE?!?"
Lucifer, who had been lounging in his office, suddenly found his entire door ripped off the hinges.
"Father!" Charlie snapped, eyes wild and glowing red. "WHERE IS VAGGIE?"
Lucifer blinked. “I—what?”
"WHERE. IS. SHE?!"
Lucifer opened his mouth, then thought better of it. Slowly, he placed his teacup down.
"Have you considered," he said carefully, "that she might have just stepped out for—"
Charlie picked up his desk and threw it out the window.
Lucifer’s eye twitched. “Ah. I see. We’re having this kind of tantrum.”
"THIS ISN’T A TANTRUM! THIS IS A CRISIS."
Hour Three: Hell Trembles
Vaggie, hiding in the attic, felt the entire foundation shake.
She peeked through a crack in the ceiling.
Charlie was now in full demonic form, horns out, tail lashing, flames surrounding her as she stormed the entire kingdom.
Every demon who so much as breathed in the wrong direction got thrown into a wall.
She burst into Lucifer’s throne room.
"DAD, OPEN A PORTAL TO EARTH."
Lucifer, now thoroughly done with his daughter’s antics, sighed. "Why?"
"BECAUSE MAYBE SHE WENT THERE."
Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. "Charlotte, I do not believe—"
"DO IT OR I BURN THE WHOLE KINGDOM DOWN!"
Lucifer sighed the sigh of a father whose daughter was about to commit war crimes. He snapped his fingers, and a portal appeared.
Charlie leapt through it.
Hour Four: Vaggie Realizes She Might’ve Gone Too Far
Vaggie was now starting to get nervous.
Charlie had been gone for an hour.
Lucifer was drinking straight from the bottle. The hotel was in ruins.
Angel poked his head into the attic. "Uh. Hey, babe? You might wanna fix this before she actually kills someone."
Vaggie swallowed. “She wouldn’t kill someone.”
Angel snorted. “Babe, she just punched a hole through Hell’s palace and drop-kicked a guy into the river of souls. You sure about that?”
Vaggie’s stomach dropped.
Okay. Maybe she had underestimated Charlie’s intensity.
She climbed down from the attic just as the portal burst open again.
Charlie stepped through, looking disheveled, furious, and absolutely wrecked.
Her dress was torn. Her crown was gone.
Her eyes locked onto Vaggie.
For a second, no one moved.
Then—
Charlie tackled Vaggie to the ground, sobbing.
"NEVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN!"
Vaggie gasped. "Babe, I was just—"
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?!?" Charlie wailed. "I BURNT DOWN A WHOLE DISTRICT! I BEAT UP TWO RIVAL GANGS! I ALMOST STARTED AN APOCALYPSE! MY DAD DISOWNED ME TWICE!!"
Lucifer, from the bar, raised his glass. "Still debating the third time, by the way."
Vaggie winced. "I—I didn’t think you’d go that far!"
Charlie sniffled. "OF COURSE I DID! YOU’RE MY EVERYTHING!"
Vaggie sighed, hugging her fiancée tight. "Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again."
Charlie sniffled harder. "You promise?"
Vaggie smiled, brushing Charlie’s messy hair back. "I promise."
Charlie clung to her like a koala, still shaking. "Good. Because if you ever do it again…"
She narrowed her red eyes.
"I will end the universe."
Lucifer groaned. “For Satan’s sake, get married already and spare us all from this madness.”