Suicide mission.
A task which is so dangerous for the people involved, that they are not expected to survive.
That's what this was. Regulus knew it. He knew from the moment he discovered where the horcrux was hidden, it was a suicide mission and there was no way of survival. But he was fine with that.
He would rather die than be forced into the good little Slytherin death eater, who played Voldemort's precious fetch dog. He would rather die than have to fight his ex-boyfriend, his lover, every time they saw each other. Lastly he would rather die than see the wretched look on his brother's face every time they saw each other.
Besides, he was doing this for the good of others. He was doing this for his friends, Barty and Ev, Cas, and Marls, Dora and Lily, Mary, Remus, and Pe-no. Not Peter, Peter had betrayed his brother even if Sirius didn’t believe him. Mostly he was doing this for James and Sirius. If only the friend group could have lasted longer, if only the Slytherins and Gryffindors didn't have to separate by the war, they would all be happy still. Or as happy as they could be in the middle of a treacherous war.
This was truly going to be his last moments, and it wasn't even happy.
He could see the green beaker was glowing from the other side of the cave, as the small boat he and Kreacher stood in moved closer and closer towards it. The boat was small and silver with a chain attached at the front, which was pulling them into the middle of the cave. Kreacher looked scared, he was shaking, hunched over as his whimpering grew louder and louder.
It didn't take much longer for them to reach the green glowing beaker.
Now was when it was going to get interesting, and painful.
Kreacher had said there were Inferi in the waters, he also informed Regulus that the water that lay inside the beaker wasn’t normal water. It apparently burned, badly, made you feel extreme thirst, and made you hallucinate, such as the Drink of Despair, which it might actually be.
He could handle the pain, his life was painful. Besides if he could last through the Cruciatus curse, he could definitely last through the pain of the potion. The scary part was the thirst, and delirium. The thirst would make you feel the need for the water surrounding the beakers, which would also make you forget about the Inferi in the surrounding water.
And well, he couldn’t swim.
This was it. Regulus stepped out of the boat, Kreacher closely following, he headed straight for the potion before stopping. His only flaw in his plan was Krecher, the house elf would save him, or bring someone to save him, and well they would risk the other people or the elf. Regulus wouldn't stand for that.
“Kreacher,” Regulus said sternly, “you will make me drink this potion. I don't care what happens, make sure I drink the whole thing. If-when the Infiri come, do not interfere, do not try to save me or have someone else save me. Take the locket, and save yourself. Leave me to die.” It was the only way Regulus' plan would work, without risking any of the others.
The house Elf simply gave a sad nod, but did not speak. It was a sad goodbye.
“You have to hide the locket, and you cannot tell my parents of anything that happened in this cave. You cannot tell anyone in my family what has happened here, no matter what. Do you understand me?” Regulus spoke.
Kreacher gave a small nod before speaking, “Yes, master Regulus. Kreacher understands.”
This was his cue, Regulus lifted up the crystal like shell cup, emerging it into the water and bringing it up to his mouth, and forcing himself to drink.
Kreacher was not lying.
Again. Regulus submerged the shell shaped cup and brought the liquid to his lips.
It felt as if he had drunk the potion thousands of times already, as it burned more and more with every last sip. The basin was still completely full, as the sips he took barely affected the basin full of liquid. To his dismay, he took another drink.
This time was worse.
Regulus fell down to the ground in pain, as his vision started to get blurry. He could see, everything just looked blurry, as if everything was in doubles. He felt bad for people naturally born with this vision.
After a minute on the ground, Regulus forced himself to stand up once again, grabbing the shell and drinking the weird potion once again. This was a horrible experience. His throat was burning, but he had to resist the urge, as drowning was worse than this. Besides, he had to finish the liquid before he drowned in the water. Priorities.
“Reggie?” What? No.
Nobody could know he was here, nobody could save him. If somebody saved him, his plan would be ruined. Who could have figured out his plan? Who could possibly be here?
Regulus looked around, as he realized he was back on the ground, hunched over in pain. He leaned over, trying to eye the whole cave. Nobody was there, it had to have been his mind playing tricks on him. The elf was at his feet, shell in hand. Kreacher took hold of Regulus' face, before pouring the clear liquid down his throat.
It felt as though he was about to burst into flames. His stomach was in agony, as though he had been hit with the cruciatus curse but it only affected his stomach, and his throat was on fire. “Regulus.” The voice. Where was it coming from? The voice was familiar, so somehow he couldn’t quite place it.
“I will always be your brother reggie. Don't worry.” no. no. no.
Sirius had told him that when they were kids, time and time again. It was usually after their mother or father gave them a harsh punishment. Which meant it was also a memory, right? Yes, it had to be. Sirius hadn't told him they were brothers since he got into Gryffindor, which had been 6 years ago. It was just a memory.
It had to be.
Regulus’s face was being pulled up again, as something poured a liquid down his throat. He couldn’t see who was there, it felt as if Regulus was the only person inside the cave. He couldn’t exactly tell. All Regulus knew was that the liquid severely hurt. And he needed water.
“Crucio! You blood traitor! Filthy Gryffindor, my son, the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Crucio! How dare you, muggle lovi-” Another voice, this time the voice didn’t stay. It left as quickly as it came, but he could instantly tell who I was.
His wonderful mother.
“Reggie, drink up.” Sirius had said as his brother lifted Regulus' face, pouring the disgustingly painful liquid.
“Siri?” Regulus asked, looking up to see his older brother smiling at him. Why would Sirius be happy? How could Sirius possibly be happy when Regulus was in pain, Siri hated when Regulus was in pain Didn't he? “I-Water?” Regulus asked, moments later receiving a refreshing glass of water to his lips.
His older brother really was the best.
“Drink reggie.” Sirius had instructed, once Regulus had shook his head no to the mysterious liquid. He didn't want it anymore. It tasted bad. It felt like something their mother made them drink as a punishment. “Regulus. Drink.” This time Sirius looked mad. Reggie didn’t like when Sirius was mad.
When Sirius was angry, he acted like their parents. It wasn’t exactly suppressing that Sirius had major anger issues, but it didn’t make it any less scary. To his dismay, Regulus drank the horrid liquid.
“Good job, you're almost done honey.Drink again.” That wasn’t his brother. The voice was similar, but somehow very different.
A soft, strong hand pulled his face up yet again, and forced the liquid down it. Wait. He knew that hand.
He had held that hind night after night, kissed it, held it, wrapped it around him. James Potter. Jamie, his love, the boy he broke up with. If only he never took the mark, maybe everything would still be perfect.
“Regulus please! W-we can work this out, do-don't give up on me! O-o-on us. Regulus please! If you leave we are over!” No. He wasn’t back there, he couldn’t be back to that night. It was one of the most painful things he had ever done. James had begged and begged him to stay, so they could figure everything out.
Regulus had known better. There was no way they could work anything out. It was way too late, they were on opposite sides of the war, and well, neither of them could switch sides. Regulus couldn't change sides, whereas James wouldn’t. James was too pure. Maybe that was why Regulus loved him. It was why everyone loved him, but it will also be the thing that one day leads to his death. There was no way around it.
The liquid again.
“Reggie,” His brother was back. A feeling of relief was back, as soon as he heard his brother's voice. “Just come with me! Please?” No. no. no. This was worse. This was the worst night of Regulus life, he had to stay, when Sirius had to leave. It was an impossible decision. Regulus wanted to go with, but he knew both the heir and the spare couldn't leave. Walburga and Orion would have gone after Sirius. They would have forced him back, and Regulus couldn’t do that to his brother. Not when Sirius finally had the life he deserved.
“One more time love.” Okay. Only once more, he only had to drink the bloody liquid one more time.
The last time was definitely the most painful. His throat was not only on fire, but it felt as if he was going to die from it, as if he had never drank water in his entire life. His body was throbbing from the pain, he wasn’t sure, but It felt like he had been screaming. Luckily someone had brought him another glass of water, which felt refreshing, but it definitely wasn't anywhere near enough.
He made it. Regulus had survived.
That's when something grabbed him.
A hand.
Someone had grabbed hold of his shoulder. It was probably James, it had to be. Wait, no. The hand wasn’t soft or warm, it was cold and bony. No. Regulus took a deep breath and looked behind him.
Fuck.
The infiri. There were hundreds of them swimming to the surface. No. no. He wanted to go home. He wanted his brother. Regulus was only 16 years old, he was a kid, a little boy, he couldn’t die. He wasn’t even an adult.
He still has a life to live.
No. No. No.
His brother would come, right? Sirius always saved him. Sirius had to save him. Fuck. Sirius was going to teach him how to swim this summer, before he got the mark, before he entered this dark, bloody cave.
Another hand grabbed Regulus, this time on his leg. “No. no! Let go of me!” He screamed, someone had to hear him. “Kreacher! Sirius! Help Me!” He screamed and screamed, and more and more Inferi grabbed hold of him, pulling him into the water. “Please!”
This was when Sirius was going to come. Surely Sirius still cared, he had to. Regulus was just a kid. A kid who needed his brother to save him, he didn’t want to die. Regulus fought and fought the creatures but they were stronger. He reached the surface once again, only to be bright back down into the water.
He could feel the water entering his throat. No. This was not how he died. He swallowed more and more water, the longer he was there. Fuck. Where was his brother? Was Sirius truly not going to save him? Did Sirius finally give up on him? He wouldn't.
More water.
He was drowning. It was more painful then he initially thought, it was also scary. He couldn’t scream, couldn’t talk, breathe, or even see. He was just stuck there. Struggling and waiting. The more Regulus struggled, the more tired he became.
This was the end.
One more time. He had to fight at least one more time.
Regulus pushed all the bony, cold hands off of him and swam up to the surface water. He was there, he made it. It was finally over.
No. No. A rough hand grabbed him again, pulling him back into the water for the very last time. Regulus reached out his hand and screamed. He screamed the name of his older brother as he reached out his hand, hoping someone would care enough to take it. He was wrong. The only hands he felt were the cold, bony ones that brought him to his death, and the only thing he wanted was his older brother.
The older brother who needed to save him.
The person that should've grabbed him.
The hand he reached for.