Chapter 1
“Oh here we go again” James groaned. On the other side of the table were Remus and Sirius. They were having another argument. These arguments won’t stop ever since they started dating. Don’t get him wrong, James was the happiest when they two got together. He thought his idiot friends would stop with the pining and the staring and the clueless flirting (and he won a bet against Peter. James likes winning). Sirius would stop giving monologues about Remus’s beauty longer than anything Shakespeare ever wrote, even though them getting together only made those longer and gross-er (“…and this thing he does with his tongue while kissing *dreamy sigh* it feels so good Prongs. He-” “EW TMI PADS TMI”).
Anyways, what James meant was that he was happy from them. They both deserved happiness, and that is why any time those two fought James tried his best to stop it.
“Calm down Padfoot” Remus said with an eye roll “It is not big a deal”
“NOT A BID DEAL!?” Sirius shouted. Half of the great hall was staring at them at this point. The other half was accustomed to the Sirius Black Dramatics, but it way enjoyable for them anyway.
“HE WAS PRACTICALLY EYE FUCKING YOU. He put his hand on your shoulder and was whispering in your ear!”
“That is a huge exaggeration. Benjy is just a friend. We were discussing our herbology assignment!”
“Oh you dumb doughnut. He was clearly flirting. God how can you be so fucking sexy and not know it.”
Well Sirius was right about that, and not just about the sexy part. Remus was completely oblivious about people hitting on him. It took him the very moment Sirius kissed him to realize that Sirius might like him back. Nevermind the years Sirius spent flirting with the werewolf.
***
“Moony you gave me butterflies” “I don’t remember giving you anything” “No, I mean in my stomach” “YOU ATE THEM!?”
***
“You should have told him to back off. Or better yet let me. But no, you cant ‘hurt’ Benjy’s feeling. Maybe you like it when he flirts with you! Maybe you like him back hmm?”
“Hey now guys, lets just calmly talk it out. You guys are kinda scaring Pete.” James’ tries to intervene were ignored.
“YOU KNOW WHAT” Remus had raised his voice too now. Uh oh. “if that’s how you constantly feel, like I would cheat on you or- or break up with you, maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Wha- what?” Sirius’ face dropped.
“You always do this Sirius”
“Thats not true!”
“Remember last week when you accused me of staring at Flich’s ass!? Flich for fucks sake! Or the time you shouted at that first year for asking me the directions”
“Well she could have have asked someone else” muttered Sirius.
“I am a prefect, it was my responsibility to help her. I cannot keep doing this Sirius, you need to get your act together. Until then, don’t bother talking to me.” Remus said as he got up to leave.
“Wait moony- wha- what does this mean- are you breaking up with me?” Sirius had tears in his eyes.
“No pads, this is just a… break, if you will. I- I have to go now”
Remus dashed out of the great hall.
☾₊ ⊹
“For the sake of Merlin’s balls Padfoot stop crying” shouted Peter. His kind request remain unheard over the sobs of Sirius. They were back in their dormitory and Sirius hadn't yet stopped crying and Remus was nowhere to be found, he probably had the map on him. There are only so many hours for which James and Peter can pat and nod at Sirius as he had a meltdown.
“I think ill just crash at Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, even she cries less than this!” Sirius threw a pillow at peter from the huge pile that he was currently burying his face under.
“Don’t give up yet Wormy… although that is good plan B… We just have to get him to distract him”
“Can’t we just oblivate him, he cant cry over Remus if he doesn’t remember him” yes their standard of solutions was dropping.
“NO! We can’t do that… or can we… no. NO.”
Suddenly James gasped “Remus”. In a second Sirius had stopped crying, fallen off the bed in an attempt to push off all the blankets and pillows and was staring at the door. There was no Remus.
Sirius started making the choking seal noises again when James threw a glass of water at his face.
“I- Prongs!!” sputtered Sirius.
“Shut up and listen. I have an idea” grinned James
“Oh boy” Peter sighed to himself. That never ends well.
☾₊ ⊹
“No Prongs, you cannot shoot my boyfriend in the butt with an arrow” said Sirius rubbing his face.
“I wont shoot him! The cupid will”
“And where will you get the said cupid?”
“My Dad got one this week to shoot an ad of his new ‘valentines day special shampoo kit’ for the newspaper”
“I have never seen a cupid before” Peter asked “are they really babies?”
“Only from the outside”
“Hello!? That’s not important right now. We need a plan.”
“Right, so I can get the cupid to floo in here tomorrow”
“Prongs, mate, we don’t have a fireplace connected to the floo”
“No but Dumbledore does”
“Yeah and Dumbledore will be more than willing to floo in a cupid in diapers to seduce my boyfriend for me”
“Let’s not overestimate Dumbledore’s love for teenage romance. We’ll distract him obviously, and sneak into his office”
“Password?”
“Cloak”
“ofcourse”
“Once the cupid shoots Remus an arrow with Sirius’s name on it, Remus will feel all lovey-dovey and forget about the fight and remember how much he loves Sirius”
“And why can’t we just spike his drink with amortentia?”
“...because we don’t have any? Do you or do you not wanna see a cupid Wormtail”
☾₊ ⊹
Remus was not paying full attention to what Benjy was currently saying. He was actually not paying any attention to what Benjy was currently saying. He was distracted, and it is all Sirius’ fault. But is it all his fault… Remus shook his head to get that thought out. He will stand his ground this time. Sirius needs to get his act together, no matter how much Remus loves the absolute mess he is. Remus was brought off his thoughts about Sirius when he felt a warm hand on his thighs. Benjy leaned in close “Hey are you alright? You seem a bit distracted”.
Remus shook his head “Yeah I’m okay… its just…”
“I know its about Sirius”
“You saw that huh” Remus said with an awkward laugh.
“The whole Hogwarts did really, what was it about anyways?” Remus suddenly realized that Benjy himself was the topic who started the little show at great hall. It was bound to happen anyway, with the way Sirius had been lately. But that still didn’t stop Remus from thinking how annoyed Sirius would be if he saw him talking to Benjy right now… Especially how Benjy’s hand has now started stroking his thigh.
Sirius was just being silly, Benjy is just a friend. Why would anyone hit on him anyways, everyone knew how head over heels Remus is over Sirius. There’s no way-“He doesn’t deserve you, you know” Benjy said giving him a look.
Okay he saw it now. Yup, Remus was definitely being hit on. Geez Benjy really is eye-fucking him. “You know I was thinking maybe next time we could-”
“Ahem” Remus made a pathetic sound in the name of a fake-cough as he slid back his chair, letting Benjy’s hand slip off his thigh. “I am not really in the mind to study right now. I think I’ll just take off for now. This assignment is almost done anyway. How about you write the conclusion and I’ll write the advantages and we can just submit our work tomorrow. You agree? Great! Bye, have to go now” Remus dashed out of the library, ignoring Benjy’s protests.
That was close… He has to talk to Sirius. But maybe not today. He took out the marauders map. Sirius, Peter and James were in the dormitory together. Remus sighed. He can crash at the come-and-go room for tonight.