Swimming in the sand
Regulus’ POV
I love my brother.
It is something that is highly debated by our fandoms.
Some people believed that we secretly hated each other and pretended to get along for our fans which was crazy.
Sirius and I were very different but it didn’t stop us from loving each other.
We were all we had.
He was born a year before I was and while we are almost age mates, he took a large part of his life to making sure I wasn’t hurt too badly by the people supposed to protect me.
He shielded me, making himself the scapegoat for all our problems which made him hated even more by our mother.
When I was a little boy, I remember thinking him extremely stupid for it and urging him in my heart to lay low like me.
However as we grew up together, I had three major realizations about Sirius.
The first one happened quite early.
I remember the exact age I was when I noticed what he was doing.
When we were just eight and seven, I was having a stomach ache and was not ready to learn that day with our tutors. When Sirius heard I was sick, he intentionally broke my mother’s priced vase which made her cancel the tutor’s arrival for a week as she had beaten him so much he needed to heal.
That night to spite Sirius, my mother asked me what I wanted for dinner and made it as his punishment was to starve because apparently he was getting fat.
I was able to sneak a bit of bread and hide it in my jacket. When I was sure my parents were asleep, I crept to his room and did our knock. Three taps. ‘I’m here. Open the door’
One tap back meant go away.
Two taps back meant come in.
I listened for his reply before opening the door. He gave me a wide smile and winced as the cuts around his mouth started smarting.
“Reggie why are you here? Does your tummy still hurt? Did you take the medicine I took from the cabinet? I was able to sneak it out because mum gave me the key so I could heal myself.”
Before he could say anything more I rushed to hug him and started crying. Silently because we would be killed if we were caught but it came from my heart.
I was so thankful for his entire existence and from that moment I swore in my heart that I would always be on his side whether he knew it or not.
He didn’t understand what was wrong so he tucked me into bed and patted me, thinking the stomach ache was the problem and I didn’t want to explain it to him either.
I gave him the bread and he told me fairytales to get me to sleep better.
That day was the day I had my first major realization about Sirius.
He would do anything to protect me. Including hurt himself.
The second realization happened when we were a bit older.
I was twelve and I had just won my first Oscar. I was against Sirius in the nominations but he was so happy when I had won.
I was confused when he had turned cold when I was also placed amongst the nominees but I just thought it was because he did not want to compete against me.
The truth was worse.
I peeked into the basement, which Sirius fondly dubbed ‘the torture chambers’ and I stared in shock as he was whipped and made to repeat each nominee’s name by our father.
“All these people are better than you, yet you claim you are my son? Impossible!”
I hid when he left the room and Sirius limped outside, his eyes widened when he saw me.
We sat down in his room as I helped him clean his back and apply the numbing cream as we had an appearance in less than five hours.
He told me this happened for every award that he lost.
I was too old to cry but I stared at him as I knew that we got canned for losing but I had never been made to call out the names of my competitors before.
We didn’t say anything but the next day I watched in shock as Sirius laughed and chatted with the interviewer like all was okay.
My second realization was that I had to watch him closely as he could hide things until they killed him.
The last one was when he was seventeen. When I watched him fall for Remus Lupin.
He played and watched everything that had to do with Remus.
He always smiled when he was talking about him.
My third realization was not that my brother was gay, that much was obvious when I started hearing about Remus more than any other being in existence.
I knew that my brother’s heart was a candle left in the rain.
And I realized that I would be the one to cover it and make sure it kept burning.
Everyone’s attention was at the door Sirius just left from and I thanked the heavens the cameras were not on.
I heard mumblings as everyone tried to wrap their minds around what Sirius had just confessed.
I knew this was not how he wanted anyone to find out.
He planned to share it with a cute couple’s picture on his instagram, hopefully with Remus, when we were no longer forced to do our mother’s biddings.
James Potter was my partner and I knew he was Remus’ friend so I glared at him angrily.
“What does your brother have against my friend? Why can’t they just get along?” he asked in confusion and I glared at him, knowing he would never understand.
None of them would.
How could someone explain that when you spent your life training on how to swim in the sand, it was inevitable to drown in the water.
I stood up and went after my brother.