Chapter 3
Sirius groaned in pain when he finally awoke from his nap in the kitchens. At some point his head had fallen forwards causing him to wake with a kink in his neck. He blinked his eyes and glanced around and noted the clock on the wall now read 10:23.
Sirius sighed and began to stretch out his legs to gain the feeling back. After a minute he stood, reaching his arms over his head allowing his back to let out a satisfying ‘pop’ as he cracked his spine.
‘They’re all probably asleep by now.’ Sirius thought, as he made his way out of the kitchens and began his trek back up to the Gryffindor tower. “Good. I don’t really feel like discussing my sad love life with them right now anyway.”
As he walked, Sirius thought about what Remus had told him only hours earlier. “I love you Padfoot!” That’s what Remus had cried when Sirius had pushed him away, and Sirius had assumed that he had meant platonically, because why would he ever think otherwise. But then when he told the rest of his friends, they were adamant that Remus was very much in love with him as well.
Sirius was very confused, to say the least. For 2 years he’d continuously told himself that his love for his best friend was unrequited and now said best friend was telling him that he apparently loved him back? And all of their friends thought so too? Not just James and Peter but Lily as well, who other than the Marauders themselves, was Remus’ closest friend.
Sirius was so lost in thought that he didn’t even realise that he was at the portrait hole until he heard someone clear their throat from in front of him.
“Are you planning on standing there all night, or are you going to tell me the password?” The fat lady spoke, expectant look on her face as she tapped her foot impatiently.
“Oh, sorry err, Aconite?” The portrait swung forwards after Sirius said the password, and he stepped inside. Apparently he’d been wrong about his friends being asleep though, because as soon as Sirius stepped through into the common room, five heads swung around to look at him from their seats on the couch.
James and Peter were seated with Lily, Mary and Marlene (Dorcas having already returned to her own dorm in the dungeons) and Sirius noted the noticeable lack of a certain werewolf in their circle.
“Padfoot! Mate, where have you been? We haven’t seen you for almost 5 hours, where the hell did you go off to?!” James exclaimed, as Sirius came closer to the couches.
“I went for a walk, and then I went to the kitchens for some food and accidentally fell asleep for a bit, why?” Sirius responded, he thought about taking a seat but decided against it, he didn’t want another painful neck if he accidentally fell asleep again.
“Moony was wondering where you were, is all” Peter answered his question, picking at his nails “he should be asleep now though, so I guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to ask.” Peter shrugged, glancing up to see Sirius frowning at him.
“Wha-” Sirius started, only to be interrupted almost immediately. “Nevermind that, Sirius, would you rather never be able to listen to Led Zeppelin again or never be able to listen to Bowie again? This is important for our friendship Sirius, choose wisely.” Marlene interrupted his question, leaning forward in her seat to stare at him intensely.
“Oh I’d definitely have to give up Bowie, I don’t think I could live the rest of my life without hearing Zeppelin ever again.” Sirius responded almost immediately. Marlene looked pleased as she nodded.
“Oh good, cause I’ve already had to end my friendship with a certain person here for not even knowing who Led Zeppelin is.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault my parents don’t listen to muggle music!” James protested, as Marlene rolled her eyes in response. They continued to talk about random subjects for a while, Sirius’ dog-like laugh mixing with the rest of their friends as they cracked jokes.
Lily was in the middle of telling a funny story about something that had happened in her potions class that day when Sirius felt a pair of long arms circle around his waist, just above his hip-bones.
Remus’ head dropped down into the crook of Sirius’ shoulder, and he inhaled slowly, causing Sirius to shiver.
“Why haven’t you come upstairs Pads? You’ve been back for almost 30 minutes.” Sirius could feel the werewolf’s lips brushing against his neck as he spoke softly to him, so that only he could hear.
“How’d you know I came back? You’ve been upstairs the whole time.” Sirius felt the arms tighten around his waist, causing him to inhale sharply.
“I could hear you laughing. I can always tell when it’s you ‘cause it’s one of my favourite sounds.” Remus replied, nuzzling his face further into the other boy’s neck. Sirius felt his face heat up at the taller boy’s comment, cheeks flushing a bright pink.
“Moony, wha-what are you doing?” Sirius began to attempt to wriggle out of Remus’ arms, but his grip only tightened further.
“Noooo, you can’t leave,” Sirius could feel his lips pouting on his neck, “I love you Sirius, don’t you love me too?” Sirius felt himself freeze. His breath came in shallow and quick, and he was suddenly aware that they were still in the common room and all of the people there were now watching them.
“Let’s get you to bed, Rem.” Sirius was extremely aware of all the eyes that followed them as he turned and led Remus back up the stairs to their dorm. The werewolf was still clinging to his back, making the trek up to the dorm slightly more difficult. Remus was clearly not making any effort to watch where he was putting his feet, because he kept missing the steps and the only reason he was still upright was because he was still attached to the man in front of him.
‘Putain de dieux, cet homme va me tuer’ He thought, as the pair finally made it through the door to their room. “Come on mon amour, off you go,” Sirius said, shrugging the clingy man off him and onto his bed. Remus made a noise of distaste as Sirius tried to get him to lie on the bed, but he eventually relented when the other boy made to sit down with him.
Sirius’ plan was to stay with Remus until he fell asleep and then get ready for bed himself, however it seemed that the other boy had different ideas.
“Moony! What the hell!” Sirius exclaimed, as his arm suddenly got violently yanked on, causing him to fall down onto the bed next to the werewolf.
“Shhhh, it’s sleeping time now, Siri. Be quiet.” Remus pulled the other boy closer, so that they were squished together, chest to chest. Sirius felt his cheeks heat up again at the close contact but did not pull away.
“Right, sorry ma chère..” Remus nuzzled his face into his neck again, his curls tickling Sirius’ jaw. Remus inhaled deeply, relaxing further into the bed as he wrapped his arms around the other boy.
“Goodnight, mon amour.” Sirius mumbled, as he closed his eyes, realising that he probably wasn’t going to escape the werewolf’s grasp to change his clothes.
“Goodnight, Sirius. I love you..” Remus responded softly, turning his body fully towards the other boy. Sirius stiffened. Then he relaxed. There was a pause, silence spreading between the two, then..
“I love you too, Remus.”
*************************
Remus woke feeling hotter than he normally did. He didn’t want to move yet, far too comfortable to ruin the quiet by opening his eyes just yet. He was feeling much better than he did the day before, stuffy nose and delirium gone. He tried to remember what had happened the day before while he had been out of it.
He remembered waking up later in the day, a bit past dinner time and finding the dorm empty. He remembered listening to his friends laugh and talk loudly from the common room downstairs, going down to see if Sirius had finally returned yet, and retreating back upstairs once he discovered that he hadn’t. Hearing when Sirius finally came through the portrait hole and joined in the conversation with his loud, dog-like laughter of his own.
He remembered leaving the dorm room to go see why Sirius hadn’t come up to see him after being back for over thirty minutes (because he had to know that Remus was awake, James definitely would have told him, Remus was sure). Going back down into the common room to investigate why Sirius hadn’t come up yet. Clinging to Sirius as he asked if he loved him back. Sirius not replying, only dragging him back up the stairs (still latched onto his back) and placing him in his bed.
He remembered dragging Sirius down by the arm to lie with him, as Sirius tucked him in. Pulling him into his arms and putting his face in Sirius’ neck as he told him that it was time for sleep. Sirius saying goodnight to him and Remus saying it back. Adding that he loved him after replying. Sirius stiffening in his arms after he uttered the words.
He remembered how the silence seemed to stretch on forever after he said those words, until it was finally broken by Sirius’ own voice repeating the words back to him before he drifted off to sleep.
“I love you too, Remus.”
Remus’ eyes snapped open as he recalled what Sirius had said to him. He realised that the other boy was also still in his bed where they’d fallen asleep the night before.
Remus turned on his side to face the other boy to find him already looking back at him, a smile on his lips.
“Did you mean it?” He asked urgently, quickly sitting up and turning to face the other boy. Sirius mirrored his actions and cocked his head quizzically.
“Did I mean what?” Sirius replied, confusion still evident on his face.
“What you said last night. Did you mean it?” Remus asked again, more urgently this time.
“Oh, um that. Er yea, I did.” Sirius replied, looking away from the other boy to stare at the bed sheets.
“Oh”
“Oh?”
“Oh.”
The silence that followed seemed to last an eternity, neither boy being able to work up the courage to say something. Sirius continued to stare at the ever so interesting bed sheets and Remus began to play with his fingers anxiously.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable, Moony.” Remus’ hands stopped moving and his head snapped up to stare at Sirius, who was still staring at the bed.
“Wha-” Remus started, perplexed by what the other boy was saying.
“It’s just I’ve loved you for so long, and you kept saying you love me and I thought that maybe…maybe it was the same. I’m sorry, Moons, I really am. I swear, I’ll get over it, just give me time and things will be back to normal. We can just forget this ever even happened-”
“Sirius.” Remus interrupted. He grabbed the other boy’s hands in his, pulling them into his lap. “Look at me. Please?” Sirius slowly raised his head to look at the other boy. Remus was smiling softly at him.
“I don’t know how you managed to get it into your brain that I don’t love you but I do, Sirius. I have loved you since the first day I met you on the train to Hogwarts. The first thing I thought when I first saw you was that you were the most beautiful boy I had ever met. And that’s still true. I love everything about you Sirius. I love your hair, and how much time you spend in the bathroom trying to make it look perfect, I love your eyes and the way they light up whenever you come up with a new prank idea, I love your smile, especially the one that you have just for me, I love your laugh, I love how much you care, even if you pretend you don’t, I love how strong you are, how you always stick up for those who can’t, I love how you keep on going even after everything your family has done to you, I love your scars, even if you don’t, I love everything about you Sirius Black. I love you so much it kills me some days.”
Remus was breathing hard, he had tears in his eyes, a few of which had escaped and were now running freely down his cheeks and he was shaking slightly, the adrenaline from his speech still coursing through him. Sirius’ voice broke the silence.
“Remus. Can I kiss you?” Remus only nodded in response. Sirius slowly leaned forwards, his hands cupping Remus’ cheeks. He could feel Sirius’ hot breath flit across his lips as they drew closer together.
Remus inhaled deeply and his eyes fluttered closed. With how close he was, he could smell every part of Sirius. He smelled of leather, forest and cigarettes. He smelled like home and safety.
Their lips brushed. Just barely. Before Sirius pulled back and Remus opened his eyes to look at him again.
“You okay?” Remus asked.
“Mmhm”
That was all Remus needed to hear before he pulled Sirius back in for another, longer kiss. Their lips met again, but they stayed together this time. Remus slid his tongue across Sirius’ bottom lip, and his lips parted.
Remus slipped his tongue inside, eager to memorise this new part of the other boy. Sirius made a noise of pleasure as Remus continued to kiss him and pushed him down onto the bed.
“OI!” James yelled, interrupting their kiss. “As much as we are happy that you two have finally figured out your shit, it is still morning and Pete and I would much prefer to not listen to you two snog all morning in here.”
The two broke apart laughing quietly.
“Sorry mate”
“Sorry Prongsie”
They called, looking towards each other and laughing again.
“We’ll be quiet now, swear.” Sirius added, still smiling. He reached over to grab his wand and cast a quick silencing charm before shutting the curtains around Remus’ bed.
“So..”
“So?” Remus replied, raising an eyebrow. Sirius looked at the boy lying across from him, his cheeks were flushed and he had a big grin stretched across his face.
“So. Remus Lupin, would you like to be my boyfriend?”
“I would love to be Sirius Black.” Remus replied, smile stretching even bigger. He pulled Sirius back into his chest, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy and felt him do the same.
“I love you Siri”
“I love you too, ma chérie”