Two minutes.
It had been two minutes into the radio interview, and the host had already asked if he was dating Remus.
God, Sirius knew he couldn’t keep his hands off of him, but there had to have been some desire to keep journalist integrity. He was here to promote the album, not to be harassed about their love life.
“So you’re not dating him?” Barty the host asked again, with his eyebrows raised halfway passed his forehead, leaning in from his seat across the table.
Sirius sighed. “We’re great bandmates.” He repeated his management mandated answer.
Barty, the fucking bastard he was, tilted his head. “Doesn’t answer the question.”
“We’re really great friends.”
“Are you dating?”
“We’re close.”
“Yes or no.”
“Two peas in a pod, me and him.”
Barty rubbed his hands over his eyes dramatically. “Evan!” He calls the crew. “Pull up the image from the last Marauders concert.”
Within a few seconds, Sirius’ attention is diverted to the screen that depicted him and Remus being admittedly too close for platonic besties. Remus had his big, strong hand wrapped around Sirius’ throat while they both sang one of their more erotic outros. Sirius almost cringed at how gone he looked staring up at Remus through his eyelashes.
Barty enthusiastically described the image to the listeners of the interview, while Sirius tried his damn best to keep a stoney expression. “So, Sirius… any thoughts on the photo?”
“This is ridiculous, I’m just gonna call him.” Sirius dug into his back pocket, rushing to get the bastard off his back. Remus knew he was in the middle of an interview, as he was the one begging him not to go that morning, so Sirius knew it would be safe to call him, and responses would already be filtered. “Remus, are we dating, yes or no?”
Without skipping a beat, Remus replied with. “Sirius, we’ve been married for four years?”
“Jesus fuck.” Sirius ended the call as quickly as he could and threw the phone across the room.
Barty is frozen on the other side of the table with an shit-eating grin. “I-”
Sirius only shook his head, shrugging his shoulders. “Doesn’t he say the darndest of things sometimes?” Blinking like a madman, and widening his smile unnaturally.
“...You wanna step outside and make some phone calls?” Barty asked with the same fucking grin.
Slumping his shoulders, Sirius nodded. “Yeah…”
And as Sirius stepped outside, he heard Barty yell into the mic. “You heard it here first! Not that I didn’t know any of that, but you know… news for you guys.”