Wolfstar Oneshots

Not much was kept secret in Sirius and Remus’ relationship.

Sirius Chronic-Oversharer Black, and Remus No-Filter Lupin were always talking about something. They're past the point of hiding things from each other; they've known each other since they were 11, and any shred of embarrassment from talking about embarrassing things had long since melted away. 

After being caught kissing by James & Pete, they'd formally started dating. They were a brand of closeness that they hadn't had with anyone else. Remus wasn’t scared to share anything, and Sirius was more than happy to reciprocate.

The only secret they had between them was what laid under their clothes. 

Sirius’ childhood abuse and starvation made him naturally skinnier than average, but Hogwarts almost made up for it. Quidditch had helped him to get strong, but it hadn’t taken away his insecurities. Sure, sometimes he’d go shirtless, but really only if it was James, because he’d seen the worst of him more times than nearly anyone else - the only exception of this being Regulus, who was there before James was - and their bond was soul deep. 

Of course, Sirius wasn’t the only one with scars and malnutrition under his belt. Remus was chronically underweight because he spent so much of his time either in too much pain from his lycanthropy to eat, or too busy to remember to. Pomfrey did what she could, with potions and such, but he’s thrown them up enough from being ill that he’d given up even trying. Remus is the same in the way that he only has one person he lets see him, but it’s only out of necessity. Pomfrey can’t do her job to heal him if Remus had clothes on. Once the bandages were on, however, he insisted on wearing actual clothes– especially if his friends were going to be able to visit him. Pomfrey indulged him, but only because of how much time he spent in that damned infirmary. Were he not as regular a patient as he is, she wouldn’t give the argument up.

They’d discussed these insecurities, under the protection of night and a silencing charm around Remus’ bed curtains, because a joke Sirius had made fell terribly flat. Remus felt bad - it really was funny - but while the idea of him and Sirius getting up to the activities that would lead to being nude, the idea of actually being nude made his chest feel like there was a stag sitting on his chest (and he knew what that really felt like, courtesy of James) and so he couldn’t bring himself to laugh when he was suddenly plagued with bone-deep anxiety.

Sirius gazed at him lovingly. “You never have to hide anything from me, Moons,” he’d whispered, “I’d find you beautiful no matter what.”

Remus restrained himself from jumping Sirius’ bones right there, but only barely. Remus snogged his breath away, and insisted he stay the whole night. It did not take much convincing.

They didn’t get up to anything inappropriate that night, but the conversation stayed in the forefront of Remus’ mind for a few weeks before he plucked up the courage to suggest what he’d been thinking about the entire time.

They were alone in the dorm for the afternoon, thanks to a little bribery. (Read: Remus threatened that if either Peter or James walked in on them, they wouldn’t last the night.) They were happy to go and fuck off to who-knows-where, and thus Remus had his chance.

Sirius, ever the romantic, had jumped onto Remus and clung to him until Remus was able to waddle them over to his bed to flop them down onto. Sirius started kissing him not too long after that, and it took Remus a good while before he could remember why he’d wanted to be alone with him in the first place. He pulled back from Sirius, eyes barely open, and lips swollen. He fumbled for his wand to both lock the door and put up a silencing charm. Sirius raised a brow as Remus did so, and pouted when they weren’t immediately making out again when he was done.

Remus, laughing a little, held Sirius away from him, lest they get distracted from what Remus wanted to do. Well, not that he didn’t want to do that, but if his idea went well, then there’d be a lot more than just making out afterwards.

“Hold on a minute, you fiend,” Remus chastised. “I.. I wanna do something.”

Sirius grinned, wiggling his brows. “Like what?”

Remus couldn’t hide his smile, but it was weak. “Well.. I know we talked about um.. how we have body image issues, and stuff..”

All traces of humor left Sirius’ expression, suddenly worried for his boyfriend. He took hold of Remus’ hands. “What’s wrong, Moony?”

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. “I really want to do.. stuff with you, but I’m scared because of what I look like, and so I- I thought, maybe if we showed each other, then we’d just get it out of the way, and then it wouldn’t be a surprise when we actually go to do it, if- if we do.” He opened his eyes to glance at Sirius, but it was only a moment of it until he was looking down at his bed. “And that way, if you change your mind about– me, or, um, certain things, then you can save me the awfulness of it happening while in the middle of trying to have sex.”

Sirius’ hands disappeared from Remus’, and he looked up, scared that he was pulling away from him for the suggestion. He was instead, faced with the sight of Sirius pulling his shirt over his head. He threw it vaguely towards his bed, and looked back to Remus, who felt like crying, honestly. Sirius was so perfect, and now Remus was even more anxious.

Sirius smiled softly, a rare type of smile from the boisterous boy, and cupped Remus’ face between his hands. “Your turn. I promise I won’t leave. Even if you secretly had the body of my granddad, and were all gross and old.” Remus closed his eyes, laughing quietly. Sirius pressed kisses to Remus’ eyelids, then his nose, and then the rest of his face. He moved his hands down to somewhere bordering on inappropriate for the situation, but out of the way of Remus removing his shirt.

Remus took a deep breath, then copied what Sirius had done, sliding the soft jumper over his head and depositing it onto the floor near his bed. He looked away, not wanting to see Sirius’ reaction.

He flinched when Sirius’ fingertips grazed a scar that stretched from one shoulder down across his chest and over his opposite side, nearly going onto his back. He wasn’t ready in the slightest when Sirius leaned forward to kiss it. It wasn’t anything new, for Sirius to kiss his collarbone and neck, but it made Remus’ stomach squeeze with love for this boy when he pressed kisses to every scar he could see. He worked his way down, then when he reached the waistband of Remus’ trousers, he worked himself up an arm, and then ended with the biggest one across Remus’ face.

“How many of them are from your wolf?” Sirius asked.

Remus swallowed harshly. “Most of them,” he replied, voice thick with emotion. His hand came to rest on the first one that had been kissed. “This one.. it’s from.. when Snape saw me. It– it was so angry that he got away. Took it out on me.” 

Sirius’ eyes welled with tears, and Remus had to look away because his did too. It hurt, thinking about that night. It hurt even worse when they talked about it. It was an injustice to call it a prank, really, because it wasn’t one. Pranks are harmless, and fun. Pranks are not endangering a boy’s life by sending him off to his death via your best friend. 

“Will you tell me about the ones that are from silly things? Like..” Sirius pointed to a small one just below his own rib cage. “This is from when Reg and I were kids, and he was mad at me for fighting with Walburga again, and he threw a book at me. It gave me a nasty papercut, and it took days to heal.”

Remus smiled, imagining it. He pointed to a sort of longish and wide one with jagged edges on his forearm. “This one, I was skateboarding with a muggle boy I knew, probably the summer between first and second year, and I wasn’t very good, and I fell, and scraped my arm pretty badly on the pavement. I went home after, claiming it hurt too much, but really I just couldn’t let him see how fast it was healing.”

Sirius moved his hair out of the way, tapping a slightly raised oval scar that was on his shoulder, closer to the back than the front. “This one, my cousin, Andromeda, was helping me get ready for a dumb party, and she was using her curling iron to get my hair to hold a curl better because Reg got all of those nice genes that make his hair perfect all the time,” he rolled his eyes, “and Narcissa came in and scared her by talking ‘cause she was so focused, she didn’t realize she’d come in, and she accidentally dropped the iron. It hit me on its way down, but only right here, where she was curling my hair.”

Remus snorted. “Your hair’s perfect all the time, too, dumbass,” he teased.

“No, you know what I mean! My hair doesn’t curl like Reggie’s does. His are tight, and hold themselves together. Mine is just kinda wavy and limp. His hair’s way thicker, too, nearly as bad as Prongs,” Sirius explained.

Remus hummed. “I do believe it’s my turn to tell a story.” He looked down at his body. It was full of stories, sure, but what ones weren’t just his once-a-month problem inflicting pain on itself because it was fucking lonely? The scars had massively decreased since his friends became animagi, but every now and then, Moony gets a little aggressive and doesn’t want to take it out on his pack, so he scratches himself right up. He smiled, however, when he spotted one. He pointed to a burn on the back of his hand. “This one, I was helping the neighbor work on his car, and I was getting my hands in there, obviously, and he was soldering something together, like wires, I think, and I bumped it. I hardly felt it, honestly, and I wasn’t gonna say anything, but he pointed it out and got me some burn cream.”

Sirius lit up. “Do you still know how to work on cars?”

Remus smiled bashfully. “Yeah, kinda. That neighbor, he’s a mechanic, and I grew up with him nearby, so I’ve picked a few things up. I help him with projects over the summers sometimes. He.. he was a big help last summer, when I didn’t really talk to anyone, and I needed to be away from my mum.” 

Sirius kissed the side of Remus’ mouth. “After Hogwarts, we should get a car. And you should work at a mechanic shop, ‘cause I know you’d look so good coming home from work.” He smirked. Remus grabbed Sirius’ face, and kissed him hard. When Sirius escaped for a breath, it was incredibly brief, because he was pressing kisses down Remus’ chest again, this time more needy, and more lustful. They were still loving, yet he pressed passion and want into the intent, and Remus threaded his fingers into Sirius’ hair to guide him when he eventually made it down to Remus’ waistband again, and (with explicit permission) went even lower. 

When they were finished, Remus removed the wards from the door, and instead closed and warded his curtains while Sirius cleaned them up. Remus, now feeling incredibly comfortable being naked in Sirius’ presence, got under the covers. Sirius followed after him, and let himself be spooned by his lanky partner. The skin-to-skin contact was heavenly, and Remus wondered how he’d gone so long without it. Sirius was never allowed to be fully dressed while alone with him again. Not even for non family-friendly reasons! It was so intimate to just be there with each other, and being pressed against one another as much as physically possible, and doing nothing nefarious. It was sweet, and Remus closed his eyes to let it sit within him. He pressed a kiss into Sirius’ hair, and they fell asleep way too early, and a little sweaty, but it was okay, because if he didn’t have Sirius, then he would be alone right now. And that is a truly terrifying idea. Remus could not fathom a world where Sirius was not his. It made his heart ache for the versions of him that were unable to experience the full force of him, and yet simultaneously, the idea that he was lucky enough to have him in this version made him so full of euphoria, he felt he may burst.