Chapter 1
Oct. 2, 1975 – 0:59 a.m.
Severus ticked all the boxes on the list he’d written on the back of a used piece of parchment. He had already packed everything into his trunk, already salvaged enough potions ingredients from Slughorn’s stores—just enough to help him, just enough so Slughorn would shrug off the missing loot—preserved everything in mason jars he nicked from the kitchen and had Charmed his trunk with an Undetectable Expansion Charm.
Severus let his eyes survey the dormitory he’d slept in for the past four (and a month?) years and its occupants. He quietly moved towards Mulciber’s bed, where his trunk was open. He pocketed three pieces of parchment, a Galleon, and a handful of colourful Honeydukes’ sweets from the boy’s nightstand. Severus never tried any, and probably never will anyway. Then, he left the dormitory, but not before he neatly made his bed and set an unreturned library book atop it.
He shrunk his trunk and his book bag, pocketed both, and descended the staircase to the empty common room. Severus shivered as his feet touched the cold stone of the dungeons, the holes in his socks making spots of exposed flesh ache. His shoes were in his trunk; he had them since fourth grade and his mother kept spelling them bigger whenever they were too tight, and they squeaked horribly.
Before leaving the safety of the dungeons, he cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself lest some ghost or portrait or Filch caught him leaving the castle. Severus had chosen to leave at one in the morning for two reasons: everyone was asleep, and so he could take his time climbing staircases, as he wasn’t exactly the athletic sort. He was already inhaling sharply to stifle his panting by the time he was passing through the Transfiguration corridor.
Severus suddenly felt nauseous and allowed himself to rest his back against the chilly wall. He closed his eyes a beat too long and then shot them open to momentarily survey his surroundings.
Now that he could get a closer look, Hogwarts was quite eerie and unnerving at night, in contrast to its usually bustling, bubbly atmosphere. The wind breathed and whistled and the faint scuttling of…spiders? Beetles? Severus could also hear a faint swishing sound and tensed. Somebody was passing along the corridor, and Severus was already on his feet, moving as quickly as he could without alerting whoever it was of his presence.
It seemed forever until he reached the entryway leading to Hogsmeade. The door was, as expected, locked, so Severus cast an Alohomora and was pleasantly surprised it opened. He breathed deeply and then set off on the path to Hogsmeade, wondering why the door hadn’t been more securely enforced. Not that he minded.
If it was cold in the castle, it was freezing outside. Severus winced as he stepped on something hard and icy. He peered down at the small stone and picked it up, then poorly Transfigured it into a piece of cotton. His Transfiguration magic was average at best and poor at worst, yet they stayed in their Transfigured state much longer than any other student’s did. Severus tore the cotton into two and stuffed each piece into both sides of his mouth to stop his teeth chattering.
Severus had thought about this for a long time. He had occasionally daydreamed in class, but as his mother grew sickly and his father’s temper had worsened, he started considering it. He would be back in time for Hogwarts, or even go while he was in Hogwarts, just to leave behind his half-blood status and his housemates and Potter and Black and everything else.
It was halfway on the path that Severus realized he should have practiced Transfiguration harder. But yesterday’s…incident had cut his practice short. The moment Severus let the word slip from his mouth, he knew he had to leave no later than tomorrow. He was never, and never would be accepted or welcomed at Hogwarts, by neither student nor staff, and Severus had enough of being tossed like a rag between Potter and Black at Hogwarts and his father at Spinner’s End. He was friendless and utterly alone, and his mother would soon kick the bucket with how peaky she’d been last summer.
Severus reached the Hogsmeade gate. He cast a Silencing Charm on the gate, Severus knew it was seldom oiled and creaked horribly. He opened it just enough, so he’d fit through—not much, as he was both malnourished and underweight. Severus cast Tempus and made haste to his route.
1:59 AM, the wispy lettering read.
First, he would pop over at the local bookshop, and borrow a few books. Two to four wouldn’t hurt after all. After, he’d make his way towards the local stalls and pocket some produce and herbs and spices. Severus would at last make his way to a small clearing of the Forbidden Forest.
Severus spelled a diagnostic charm on the first bookshop he saw. A simple thief-alarm ward and some dust prevention charm, which Severus managed to disable for about ten minutes. He only knew how to disable simple wards, as he hadn’t had enough time to finish reading the chapter in that book he found in Malfoy Manor before Lucius’ great-great-grand aunt or whatever shrieked at his filthy blood-traitorous self to get out of the sacred Malfoy Library. Not even the glitz and glamour of Malfoy Manor could stamp out his attitude.
He slipped inside, not before Silencing the door and its bell, and examined the books lined along the shelves. Severus scrambled to get what he needed before the ward restored—he had a few books in mind. He swiped Advanced Potion-Making, The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6 and Grade 7 off the shelves as soon as he saw them. A quick Tempus told him he had three minutes left before the wards would return, so he picked up two crime thrillers, and two last-minute books for good measure despite not checking their backs or titles. He ran out of the bookshop with a minute to spare and shrunk the books to fit his pocket, reserving the other one for the food he’d be stealing.
Severus eyed the stalls as his diagnostic spell worked its magic. No wards, no nothing, which was great—for Severus, that is. He fished out his empty shrunken bookbag (a threadbare canvas bag), then pulled out of aforementioned bookbag three shrunken mason jars which he unshrunk, as he did to the bag. Severus put in five apples and four large potatoes at the bottom, then a handful of turnips and broccoli. He put in one small and one large cauliflower and a few carrots. Satisfied, he moved on to a different stall with the usual routine, this time carefully examining the spices. Not like he knew anything about spices save for the usual table salt his father’s meagre salary could afford.
Cinnamon he knew, so he put three sticks in one jar and then put the jar in the bookbag. Paprika looked promising, so he spelled some of the red powder to fill three-quarters of the jar. Basil he also knew, he’d seen it as a Potions ingredient many a time, so he magicked the leaves into the final jar and put both into the bag, then shrunk the bag again to put into a separate pocket.
Severus cast Tempus again.
2:17 AM.
He walked past the buildings littering Hogsmeade and then took a right turn. He walked straight until he found a cluster of trees, gathered round the stone wall separating Hogsmeade from Hogwarts’ grounds. Severus whispered a Lumos to watch out for Bowtruckles he might anger or twigs he might snap. He walked through the thicket until he reached the stone wall, then crouched down where a hole in the wall was, then crawled through. It was a little tight, but Severus could always blow another hole to make more room.
Branches scratched his face as he carefully made his way to the clearing. Soon the trees thinned out and the clearing appeared. A smile crept on his face.
Severus had found the clearing in his fourth year on the second Hogsmeade weekend. Lily insisted on going with her friends because she promised, and Potter and Black had overheard. Severus didn’t want them to ambush him, so he decided to hide in the Forest. Whenever Lily had an excuse to not be around him, he’d go to his clearing, but that stopped short right after the incident with Lupin.
Severus took out and then unshrunk everything in his pockets. He spit out the soggy cotton, vanished it, then opened his trunk. He pushed away the contents of his trunk to reveal a lump of khaki cloth. Severus laid out the cloth in the middle of the clearing and flicked his wand at it.
The cloth sprang into a small tent, yet when he poked his head inside, Severus gasped. All he knew was that he’d stolen a tent from Malfoy Manor’s attic, but not that it was a magical tent. He felt silly for being surprised, why would it not be a magical tent?
Inside the tent, instead of a small, enclosed cloth space, there were khaki walls matching its exterior, polished mahogany floors, and as far as Severus could see, a low coffee table surrounded by cushy armchairs. Unlit candles lined the walls—he flicked at two with his wand—as well as a small lantern on the floor. Severus closed his trunk and carried both it and the bookbag inside, where he set both down. He carried the bookbag to the small kitchen with—to Severus’ satisfaction—a fridge and a circular table with two chairs. He could see a short hallway in the corner of his eye.
Severus felt warm. Here, he could brew and create spells to his heart’s content. There would be no Potter and Black to use his spells against him, no Lily to remind him of yesterday, and no housemates to tell him he was of impure blood. He allowed himself a moment’s rest on one of the wooden chairs and then got up to inspect the tent and cast a Preservation Charm on the produce and Potions ingredients. He opened the fridge and adjusted the temperature to slightly lower it before putting everything, save for the herbs, inside. After setting a Muggle-Repellent Charm and a simple passcode Charm so nobody would be able to enter without a passcode, he pulled his trunk to the small hallway with two doors on either side. Severus opened the door to his right and lit the candle with his wand.
There was a window, a bedroom with twin beds, a dresser, and a nightstand. He left momentarily to inspect door number two. The other door was a bathroom with soap and a used bottle of conditioner on the sink. Severus went back to the bedroom.
He tossed his shoes somewhere on the floor. Severus took out his school robes, underwear, trousers and jumper, then folded them all into the dresser. He opened the second drawer and put in his quills, ink, and parchment. Severus then took out a small drawstring pouch which contained all his savings inside, which all amounted to eight Sickles and ten pounds. He put Mulciber’s Galleon inside, then took out the candy and put both candy and pouch into the third drawer. There were more things inside the trunk, but Severus decided to just do it the next morning.
Severus ached with fatigue, yet he still peeled off his school robes, leaving him in his worn-out pyjamas—purposefully worn, just in case he was caught. He laid out the robes on the other bed and piled the books on the dresser. He slowly crawled into bed.
Severus went out like a light the moment he closed his eyes.