Chapter 4
“Mate, I need to tell you something,” Sirius says, a few days after their conversation about his extremely hot non-boyfriend. They were getting ready to go out with the gang. Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene, James, Sirius and now Remus, who Sirius had to bribe with chocolate to come out with them. He’s not one for crowds, or people, apparently.
“What?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner, but I didn’t know how to. I know how you feel about my family.”
James stiffens. His family? Maybe his worries were true. Were his parents back in touch, trying to get their heir back? Were they threatening him? Calling him homophobic slurs again? Has he seen them?
“What happened?”
“You know my brother, right?”
“Regulus, yeah?”
“He’s here. Studying.”
“What?”
“Yeah, history of all subjects,” Sirius chuckles, though James immediately sees through his façade.
“How do you feel about that?” James asks.
“Careful, mate. You don’t want to be one of those psych students constantly analysing their friends.”
“Pads, how are you feeling?”
“I really don’t know,” he sighs. “It just caught me by surprise. Seeing him in the corridor.”
“Right. And do you want to reconnect with him?”
Sirius exhales, “You know I do, I love him, but there’s so much history. So much pain. I’m not even sure if he wants to reconnect.”
“I doubt that.” James replies. After seeing Sirius’ quizzical look adds, “Out of all of the Uni’s in the world, he just so happens to choose the one you go to. That’s unlikely. He wants to reconnect with you. He wants to be your brother again.”
“Yeah, maybe...”
“Padfoot.”
“Yeah?”
“Do what feels right for you. What you want. Whenever you’re ready. You deserve a relationship with your brother, but not at the expense of your mental health.”
Sirius sneaks up behind James and loosely wraps his arms around him, whispering, “Thank you, Prongs.”
Sirius then practically drags James out of their room, barely leaving him enough time to grab his phone and keys on their way out.
“Come on, we’re gonna be late.”
Anything to avoid talking about his brother.
***
James soon discovers that it sucks being the only person not drinking. As a very happy and confident person, he can match the vigour of his drunk friends. But this doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t feel right. He wishes for a drink right this moment. He looks around the club, trying to find his friends. Marlene is dancing with some girl James hasn’t seen before, and now they are kissing. That’s great. Good for them. There’s a slight pang in his chest at the sight. Fucking hell, why is he jealous of his friend? Without giving the sudden pain in his heart much thought, he quickly averts his eyes. He finds Peter with some girl in the corner. James has no right to be envious of his friends right now when it’s his stupidity that caused him to leave the handsome stranger alone in the corridor. His gaze swivels to Remus, who is watching his “boyfriend” get more and more drunk while Sirius and Mary are doing shots at the bar. Fuck, he can’t get a drink if they are there. And besides, Lily Evans is sitting right next to him.
He smiles at her, and she looks away quickly, tucking a loose strand of fiery red hair behind her ear. Weird.
She gives him another look that he has never seen before in her. Before he knows it, she’s closing the gap between them, and her lips brush softly against his, before getting more passionate. She tastes of booze, and smells of it too.
A few years ago, this would have been all he had wanted. He’d have done just about anything to get her attention. Walking the long way home, past the Girl's school, just for a glimpse of her. But now, he can’t get a certain stranger out of his head, yet again. And besides, Lily’s far too drunk for this.
“Hey, Lils,” James says as he gently pushes her away from him.
“Yeah,” she smiles. God, she has a beautiful smile.
“Do you want to go get some coffee. Sober up a bit.”
Lily frowns, “You don’t want me anymore?”
James can’t stand the hurt in her voice.
“I think you’ve had too much to drink.”
That isn't a lie, it’s just not the full truth.
“Let’s get you back to your dorm, okay?”
After she trips over seemingly nothing and almost lands flat on her face, James guides her out of the club, supporting her under his shoulders the rest of the way to the girls’ dorms. Normally, she’s the responsible one.