A Lily for a Snape

Thank you for reading! I don’t own any of Harry Potter! Please let me know if you enjoy! Updates every Saturday!
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Severus’s heart thudded heavily in his chest as Lily’s delicate fingers slipped over the buttons of his dark robes.

If they could have seen the heavy snowfall against the windows of his chambers, the atmosphere may have held even a bit more romance, but the couple’s attention focused only on each other.

Severus’s breath hitched in his chest as Lily wriggled her hips while she squirmed in his lap, hopeful to tease him into submission.

He would not be swayed as easily as she thought.

Ever the living example of self-denial and iron-like control, Severus pulled back to gaze into her green eyes.

She would have imagined him speaking anything at all to her in that moment, except the shrewd insult that fell from his lips as his black stare bore into her emerald gaze, “Lily.......I don’t want you like this.”

“I…..beg your pardon?” Lily gasped.

Suddenly, she felt laughably ridiculous there, straddling Severus’s lap and her fingers on his chest.

“I don’t want you for a night, as a passing fantasy, or a fleeting dream.” Severus frowned.

Lily mirrored his expression as he kept his face deadly serious while he spoke, “I want you to be mine, Lily, and I want to be yours. Not for the night, not for the morning, but tonight, tomorrow, and every day, until the end of our time in this world.”

Her green eyes had widened as he had spoken.

It felt strange, almost incomprehensible, to know that she had walked into his rooms earlier as a simple, pining friend and now he suggested-

“You….You want us to be mates?” She asked with a half serious laugh.

Severus said nothing in reply, although the dark shimmer that flashed in his black eyes let her know his answer.

“I……..” Lily smiled as she struggled for words, “I don’t know why I’m surprised, Sev.”

Severus’s heart sank into the trenches of despair as she stood from his lap and ran a hand through the volume of her thick, red tresses.

“I should have known you’d have no interest in flings.” She asked with a chuckle as she stood.

Severus’s mouth fell open.

Was that all she saw him as, after all those years spent in quiet companionship?

A fling?

A silly, warm body to lie with and bring her pleasure, nothing more?

“Oh dear, I’m sorry, Sev.” Lily frowned as she realized the look on his face signaled anything but amusement, “I thought you and I could-“

“No.” Severus said quickly as he shook his head and raised a hand to halt her thoughts, “The fault lies with me. You’ll have to forgive my-“

“-There’s nothing to forgive.” Lily grinned, “Let’s just put it behind us, shall we, then?”

Should they have?

A deep frown of absolute despair marred Severus’s pale throat as he gazed at her over the top of his long, hooked nose.

What would have happened if he had said yes?

Could he have managed to seduce Lily into loving him permanently?

One night would have never been enough to-

“It’s just that, after James and all…..” She shrugged, “I’m not really looking to jump into anything else right now, not anything serious, you know.”

“Of course.” Severus nodded.

A familiar burning sensation tingled across the arm Voldemort had marked as he flinched and looked over, another hindrance to his imagined happy life.

His frown deepened as he realized that their tryst would have more than likely ended in tears and wails anyway once Lily had gotten a good look at his forearm.

“I suppose I’ll be going, then.” Lily nodded quickly.

She had already made her way back to the door as Severus looked up.

“I hope you like them.” She nodded at the muffins before she cast Severus a brilliant smile.

As he nodded in return, too stunned and dismayed to say much else, he watched the woman he loved more than his own life turn and walk out of his chambers.

Severus wanted nothing more than to run after her, to sweep her into his arms, to hold her close and never let her go.

…….But that was not what Lily wanted and his deep love for her left him with no choice but to grant her wish to remain respectful of her choices.

Severus let out a huffy sigh as he ran a hand through his raven-black hair.

His teeth gnashed together while that irritating, tingling sensation in his marked forearm turned to a strong, urging burn.

Recognizing the feeling too well, Severus hurried to collect his wand.

Lucius had been right.

Voldemort did not like to be kept waiting.

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The disappointment of the evening weighed so greatly on Severus’s pale shoulders that he did not even bother to hide his melancholy frown from his dark master.

As the two spoke under a whispering tree somewhere deep in a foreign forest, home to prowling creatures and a seemingly endless, rolling fog, Voldemort carefully studied Severus’s crushed spirit.

“You’ve already proven most useful to me, Severus.” He said slowly as he watched the anguished face of his follower, “Thanks to you, I get to hear all about the latest happenings at Hogwarts, something that none of my other friends can offer.”

Severus nodded, “I am glad that my service pleases you, my lord.”

“......And yet, you do not seem glad.” Voldemort chuckled.

Severus blinked as he dared to raise his eyes and meet Voldemort’s vapid, predatory stare.

“Name your price, Severus.” Voldemort challenged as he spread his lips to reveal his sharp, white teeth, “And I will grant you what you want, consider it a gift for my rising officer.”

“A good night’s sleep will restore me, my lord.” Severus nodded, “I am a man of simple tastes and frugal needs.”

Voldemort smirked as he paced a slow, stalking circle around Severus.

For once, the raging fire of fear that usually burned in Severus’s heart had been extinguished.

What did it matter if he was killed?

What did it matter if Voldemort saw no more need for him?

His mother would mourn him, perhaps Lily would too, and that would be the end of it.

That would-

“You’re a very difficult man to decipher, Severus.” Voldemort chuckled as he came to stand a short ways away from his pet, “Perhaps one day, you’ll finally stake your claim…..and take what you want, if you will not allow me to give it to you first, of course.”

“A good night’s sleep, my lord.” Severus nodded again while he bravely held eye contact with the deranged dark wizard, “........Is all I wish.”

Later that night, as Severus tossed and turned under his sheets, he grit his teeth at the great lie he had told the Dark Lord.

Even if his statement had been true, how was he supposed to get any sleep without Lily beside him, in his arms?