15
Sirius twirled his finger above his milky coffee without thinking, the liquid swirling in a small whirlpool as Remus bit into yet another slice of toast. His own breakfast sat before him, practically untouched, while he tried not to let his gaze wander towards the girls a few seats down. James had been glancing towards Lily all morning, desperate to be included in at least one of their conversations, though Sirius was grateful that James had let him pick a spot a bit further down the table than usual. A bit further down from Charlotte and her pretty hair pulled up in a red bow.
"Sirius, did you finish that defense assignment? Because I just finished mine last night if you want to have a look-" Peter trailed off as Sirius pulled his attention towards the blonde boy.
"It's fine. I finished it." He answered, shortly, reaching for a sip of his coffee, which was now cold, his eyes flicking back to Remus across from him. "Well, Moons, are you going to tell us about the Christmas party, or is it some big, romantic secret?"
Remus's eyes went wide as he looked to the dark haired boy facing him, a cruel snarl painted on his face.
"Sirius..." James mumbled, reaching for his friend's shoulder as he jerked out of reach.
"Yeah, Sirius, it's some big, romantic secret. You know me." Remus bit back, dropping the crust of his toast back onto his plate.
"Well, I thought I did anyway." Sirius muttered, quite aware of Peter and James's shared panicked looks. "Well, what are you going to wear, lover boy?"
"Piss off, Black. You're acting like I wanted this-"
"Oh, I'm sure it must be a terrible inconvenience to have girls fawning over you every waking hour. Tell me, how do you keep your grades up and still remain Gryffindor's most eligible-"
"Maybe if you would have just asked her yourself, you could have spared me-"
"Don't." Sirius growled, his eyes darkening, even in the bright morning light. "Don't act like this is some horrible thing, you insufferable asshole."
"Sirius, calm down." James ordered, leaning forward to catch Sirius's gaze. James was used to breaking up fights, often between Remus and Sirius, though it was normally over one of them being too noisy or pushing the other's buttons. None of them ever fought like this.
The bench scraped against the tile as Sirius pushed out of his seat, slinging his bag over his shoulder and starting down the aisle, eyes set on the exit to ignore the girls on the right who had all spun towards him when he stood up.
"Sirius!" James called, catching the boy just as the door swung shut behind them, grabbing onto his bicep and pulling him around. "Mate, I know it sucks. I know it hurts. But you can't take it out on Moony. You can't be mad if she doesn't like you like that."
Sirius scoffed, pulling his arm out from James's grasp. "That's rich, coming from you."
He took a few steps away, slowing to a stop with a loud huff of a sigh, turning back to James who was waiting patiently outside of the hall.
"I'm sorry. That..." He trailed off, searching his mind for the right words. Sirius and James rarely fought, and he had no reason to be upset at him now.
"I know." James offered him a lopsided smile. "S'fine."
"It's just... Christmas. Going home. I've been feeling like shit all week, even before..." He reached up, rubbing two fingers over the bridge of his nose, willing the headache he'd been suffering through all morning to give him just a minute of relief. "I've never felt like this before. About anyone."
James eyebrows furrowed for only a second before he spoke. "Charlotte?"
Sirius nodded, gaze stuck to the ground in the silent hallway.
"I'm so sorry." He grimaced, watching his friend's gaze follow the lines of the stone floor. "Pads... I just... I think that most of the school knows that you've liked your fair share of girls. So maybe she just doesn't think you're actually interested? It's not as if you've ever asked her out, right?"
"I mean, not in so many words-"
"And I think if Lupin had known how you actually felt about her, he wouldn't have said yes-"
"He knows." Sirius bit back, the bitter feeling welling inside his chest at the mention of Remus's name.
"He knows?" James asked, looking confused before moving on, "Okay, well... I think that... you've had a lot of girls, and if one of them is finally brave enough to go for Moony, and he likes her back, then I think we ought to give them a chance-"
"He doesn't like her." Sirius snapped, "He doesn't like her at all, he's terrible to her."
"He's probably just nervous-"
"I don't care what his reasoning is!"
"Sirius," James voice was low now, snapping Sirius back to reality from where he had been seeing red only moments before. "You really mean it? It's different with her? You feel more for her than all the other girls?"
"Yes." The two boys met each other's eyes at last, Sirius's lips pressed into a thin line.
"Then you want her to be happy right?" He paused, watching Sirius's shoulders sink at his words. "They're not getting married. They're going to a party, that you're invited to, I might add. Just let her be happy. It'll all work out, I know it will."
"Yeah, king of optimism. How much longer until it all works out with you and Evans?" Sirius answered, hoping his words didn't sound as bitter as he felt.
"Dunno. Guess we should have continued with Divination, eh?" James grinned, nodding towards the hall behind them. "Coming back to breakfast?"
"Nah," He shook his head, shortly, "I'll see you in class." He tried for a small smile for his friend before spinning on his heel and starting towards the staircase. He had no intention of watching Charlotte attempt to catch Remus's eye all day, flicking her hair away from her eyes as his friend complained some more about this terrible situation which Sirius would have begged to be in.
☾
Marlene met Charlotte's gaze, who was doing a much better job at holding in the laughter threatening to burst at Lily's frown and James' constant nagging.
"Evans, about this Christmas party." James had started a few minutes ago, Peter's eyes flying up in surprise as Lily let out a heavy sigh.
"About the Christmas party?" She answered, lazily, tucking one leg over the other as she looked to the messy haired boy across from her. Charlotte's eyes snapped towards Remus who was pointedly looking around the room, as if determined not to meet her gaze.
"Will you go with me?" James smiled, charmingly, everyone's eyes flickering between the two, watching every micro-expression appear over Lily's face.
"No." She answered simply, sorting through her pile of notes which Marlene and Charlotte had long given up studying.
"Why not, Evans? Give me a chance, you won't regret it!" He begged, his smile never faltering.
"James, we're all going to be there anyway. You don't need to bring a date-"
"I want to bring you."
"We will both already be there." She bit back, sounding annoyed, though James must have taken no notice.
"Together." He finished for her, grinning as she met his eyes. No one spoke for a moment. "Just let me take you-"
"No, Potter."
"Let me walk you!"
She sighed once again, glancing to Charlotte and Marlene who both wore grins large enough to match James's. Before she even placed Lily's next words, the portrait hole slammed shut, pulling Charlotte's gaze to the tall, dark figure, the gray eyes stuck to hers as he neared their cluster of friends.
"Alright, James. We can walk together." Lily had agreed. "We'll all walk together." She clarified, watching the boy's eyes light up at her words.
Charlotte slid from her chair, setting her gaze to the floor as she started to the staircase. She could still hear Lily and James's banter, as well the snickers from their friends beside them, before the fingers closed around her arm, spinning her back to face him.
"Blondie-" He started, his eyes finding hers at last.
"Piss off, Sirius." She pulled her hand free, watching his face fall.
"Charlotte, let me apologize-"
"No need." She answered, taking the first step towards their dorms. "You wanted to be left alone, right?"
His lips moved, yet no sound came out.
"For the record, I don't prefer my men to treat me like shit." She hissed, rushing up the remaining steps to the safety of her dormitory.
☾
Charlotte pushed the metal backing of her earring into place and glanced over herself once more in the mirror. Her cheeks were beginning to ache from the smile that had been plastered there for the past hours.
"I know you're both jealous that I get to spend this freezing night cozy in bed while you're wearing scratchy tights and wandering the halls for hours." Marlene called from her perch beneath a pile of blankets.
"My tights aren't scratchy." Charlotte grinned, meeting her eyes in the mirror.
"Shut up, Marlene, I wish I was going. You both look so great, you're going to have so much fun."
"Sirius really should have just asked you, Mary, instead of moping about-" Marlene trailed off as Charlotte's eyes flickered towards her. "Char, I know you're going to be drooling over Remus all night, but try to keep an eye on Potter and make sure she doesn't kidnap Lily."
"Oh, come on-" Charlotte smiled, looking towards the redhead who had her fingers pressed to her forehead.
"Charlotte, I will give you 40 minutes of every hour for Remus and the other twenty are to be spent protecting me." She ordered, a smile pulling to her lips as they stood up at last, hands landing on the wall as they pulled their heels on. "See you both later." Lily offered their friends a wave, pulling the door open and leading Charlotte down the stairs carefully.
"We're waiting up! Don't stay out all night!" Mary ordered, teasingly.
"Make good choices!" Marlene agreed, her voice carrying down the stone hallway, "Remus counts as one of them!"
Charlotte covered her ears, mouth falling open as Lily giggled, the girls finally reaching the common room, a loud roar of chatter still filling the warm room, James talking animatedly in front of the fire, his hands waving above his head with every word. Peter sat beside him, nodding along with every point, while Sirius wore a small smile as he listened on.
Charlotte heard Lily take a small breath, as if she was going to call to the boys, before Sirius's eyes raised to hers, the smile vanishing from his face as he blinked. His gaze skated over her for only a second, over the deep red dress which swung just above her knees, the sleeves falling to her elbows, her blonde hair tied half up in loose curls, before James had turned too, his grin widening as he jumped up, rushing to Lily.
"Evans! You look gorgeous." Charlotte bit back a smile, watching Lily allow James to take her hand for only a moment before snatching it back.
"Thank you, James." She said through tight lips, yet it was hard to miss the slight pink which had rushed to her face.
Charlotte kept her eyes trained to the pair, ignoring the guilt which had crept it's way into her stomach at seeing Sirius's face. Before she had even registered James' next words, there was movement from the corner of her eye, dark black leather brushed against her skin, the familiar cologne filling her senses as she turned towards him. His eyes were dark, the light from the fire and the remaining lamps barely reaching them.
He reached up towards her, slowly, his fingers grazing her arm for only a second before he pulled back, eyes meeting hers again. "You look beautiful." He said, softly, as if it was all the sound he could muster before marching away from the friends and disappearing around the bend in the stairs without a backward glance.
"Is he..." Charlotte started, looking back to James who's eyes were wide as he pulled his gaze from the stairs.
"He's been feeling a bit..." He struggled for his next word, "Off today. He's been quiet." Charlotte pressed her lips together, begging for the guilt to subside before James set a hand on hers, pulling her attention back to him. "He's alright, Harris."
"Where's Moony?" Peter asked, now standing at James's side once again, a small grin still plastered there as he glanced around the room, as if Remus would be hidden there. Charlotte's stomach sank again, glancing towards the couch where the Marauders had been sitting. How had she not noticed he wasn't there?
James's eyebrows furrowed as he glanced between the girls. "Oh, I thought... He went to the library earlier, but that was hours ago..." He reasoned, glancing to Peter who's eyes were clouded with confusion.
"He probably stayed there too long and forgot the time." Lily nodded, encouragingly.
"Yeah, he's probably meeting us there, Char." James sounded thoroughly convinced at Lily's explanation, and even Charlotte had to admit, it sounded like Remus. Especially considering he hadn't seemed particularly excited for the party tonight...
She shook the thought from her head and smiled as the three of them bid Peter goodnight and started out into the hall. He wouldn't have agreed if he really hadn't wanted to go.
James filled nearly the entire walk with talks of the upcoming holiday and what he had planned for his break, which included more events than Charlotte thought any human could pack into such a small amount of time.
"Lily, you'll have to visit! My parents throw a massive party every year for New Years Eve, it's great. You'll come too, right Charlotte? Peter will be there of course, and I'm hoping to get Sirius, but Moon... Remus has to stay at Hogwarts for the break this year, which really sucks-"
"Why?" Charlotte interrupted, noting the music drifting out from the opened doors as they neared Slughorn's office at last.
"Oh, I don't know..." James sighed, "Something... his family can't have him home or something, so they need him to stay-"
"They won't let him go to yours?" She cut him off again.
"No, he's really not allowed. It's completely daft, but I guess they'll only let him stay at the school." James shrugged, effectively ending the conversation as he led them into the party. Charlotte had already decided, she would invite Remus to spend the holidays with her, and if he really wasn't allowed to leave school... maybe her parents would let her spend the holidays at Hogwarts. She had never stayed at the school for Christmas, but everyone who had said it was nothing but fun and great food.
"Wow, this is great." Lily smiled, drawing Charlotte's attention back to the room which had been immaculately decorated as if Christmas itself had exploded only in the confines of Slughorn's classroom. There were long dark green garlands with red berries draped from every archway, oversized Christmas wreaths against every door and window, a long table of snacks and desserts spread out below the dark windows overlooking the grounds outside where that morning's snow had settled, scattering the bright light of the moon.
"The moon's nearly full, look Char! I hadn't even noticed. It looks so pretty with the snow." Lily waved her friend over to the table where the snacks were set up, the girls scanning over the sky.
"It's in five days." James answered, helping himself to a brownie before glancing back to the girls who were eyeing him, holding back a laugh. "What? Astronomy, we... she's always talking about..." He sputtered before shoving the brownie into his mouth with a shrug.
Charlotte pulled her gaze from the grounds and scanned over the room, which was beginning to fill quite rapidly now, some of the same faces from the dinner she and Lily had attended near the start of term, some newer ones she could have sworn she had never met in her six years of Hogwarts. Yet there was one face that was noticeably missing from the ever growing party, and it felt as if it was the only face she wanted to see.
"We shouldn't have left without Remus..." She muttered, looking back to James and Lily, "What if he's up in the room waiting for us and he thinks we ditched him?"
"He wasn't up there though Char... I got ready up there, and then I was in the common room for nearly an hour after. I would have seen him."
"Well, maybe I should go check, or I could check the library, or-"
Her words trailed off at Lily's look, her friend slipping her hand over Charlotte's arm and glancing to James. "We'll be right back, okay?"
James nodded, quickly, his eyes flickering towards Charlotte's, a sadness deep behind them which she placed at once. Pity. Charlotte let Lily pull her away from the now crowded table of food and towards a quieter place near the door, peeking out into the hallway once more before looking back to Charlotte's hopeful face with a shake of her head.
"Char, what did Remus say, actually, when you asked him to this?" Lily asked, her voice low in the great roar of the room.
"He said..." Charlotte thought back to that night, the Gryffindor victory party, Remus stubbing out his cigarette. "Alright, he said..." She trailed off, not wanting to go on. Lily's green eyes were watching her, patiently, and Charlotte knew she had to finish. "I think he said... 'Alright, I guess we can..."
Lily's lips pulled together as she watched the realization dawn on Charlotte's face before continuing.
"Char, I just... I think, maybe, he's not coming." Charlotte nodded at once, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back onto the door frame behind them. "I mean, it's really just not his scene, Charlotte, I'm sure it has nothing to do with-"
"It's fine. You're right." Charlotte cut her off, not able to hear yet another excuse for Remus. "Will you just tell James I'm not feeling great, I'm just going to head back and-"
"Charlotte, no!" Lily pleaded, reaching for her hand as if she would run for it any moment. "Please, stay! We were really looking forward to this party, we'll still have a lot of fun, you and me, we don't need dates-"
"You have a date," Charlotte protested, keeping her voice low, despite how unsteady it felt leaving her mouth. "I don't want to crash it..."
"It's not a date and you know it." Lily hissed, dragging Charlotte into motion as the two started back towards James who was already engrossed in conversation with a few Hufflepuff boys. "Don't leave me here to deal with him." Lily pleaded, Charlotte forcing a smile to her face as she nodded her agreement, preparing herself for another night of James fawning over her best friend while Lily pretended not to enjoy his company.
"Hey, there you are!" James grinned at their arrival, stepping backwards to create a space for them in the conversation, "You guys know Henry and Marcus? This is Lily Evans and Charlotte Harris."
Charlotte offered the Hufflepuffs a polite smile and a nod while Lily launched into a conversation with the boy on James's left regarding his extra credit project Slughorn had been telling her about. James took one step closer to Lily as she spoke, the other boy, Henry, Charlotte was pretty sure, though now that they had moved she realized she hadn't been paying attention during James's introductions, glanced at James's gaze on the red head before turning to Charlotte with a small smile.
"Can I get you a drink?" He offered, taking a step closer to her so that she could hear him in the crowded room.
She considered his offer for only a second before shaking her head, "No, I'm alright. Thank you, though."
He opened his mouth again to speak before his eyes were pulled above her head, locking onto something behind her and straightening up, nodding her a quick goodbye and returning to Lily and James. Charlotte felt her heart skip in excitement, spinning around, sure that Remus was finally here. He hadn't blown her off, he'd only been late.
Her eyes met Sirius's gray ones, which looked much brighter than they had an hour ago up in the tower. He had changed clothes since then as well, the leather jacket no where to be seen, replaced with a dark blue button down, his messy hair pushed back neatly as he stood before her, two glasses of pink punch from the oversized bowl Lily and her had seen earlier in his hands.
"What about me?" He spoke slowly, taking another step towards her and holding one of the cups out. "Can I get you a drink?"
She studied the glass, "I'm just not sure we should be drinking with our early morning train ride tomorrow-" She smiled, weakly, as his lips pulled into a smirk.
"I highly doubt that Slughorn is serving spiked punch to a bunch of children. Though, if he is, I'll definitely be in attendance more often." He raised the glass to his nose and breathed in for a second before taking a long sip, holding the other glass out for Charlotte again. "You're safe, love."
Charlotte's lips pressed together at his words, hoping the smile was still on her face as she took the first sip of the fruity drink.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, at last, "I thought these parties were stupid and pretentious."
Sirius smiled back for a moment, eyes scanning over the room as he shrugged, looking back to her. "Well, I was right about that. They'll let anyone in here." He nodded towards the group of Slytherin huddled near Slughorn who had his head thrown back in a deep laughter, a smaller version of Sirius beside him, wearing an eerily familiar lazy smile.
"Is that your brother?" She looked between the dark haired boys to where Sirius was nodding through his last sip of his drink. "Don't you want to go say hi?"
"Not in present company." He answered, looking back down to Charlotte's blue eyes. "His, or mine." He watched her eyes widen, a small smile tugging at her lips at his words before deciding to continue. "I saw Lupin upstairs... I didn't want you to be alone."
He nearly regretted his words, watching her face fall, her eyes dropping to their feet and swishing the remaining punch around in her glass.
"Oh," Her voice practically a whisper in the noise of the party. She blinked twice, willing herself not to cry. She and Lily had spent too long getting ready to let tears ruin her makeup, and she didn't need Sirius to catch her crying again. Her mouth opened and shut again twice before she finally spoke, "Did he say why?"
Sirius reached for her hands, stacking her cup into his own before slipping his fingers through hers, her gaze pulling to his again.
"I didn't talk to him." He answered, "Cause I felt like I might have hit him. And James always gets mad when I do." He teased, hoping for a laugh that never came. "Charlotte. He's an idiot."
She shook her head, slightly, before he ducked his head to catch her eyes, offering her a stern glare. "You don't have to say it, you just have to believe me." Charlotte laughed now, noting the smile it brought to Sirius's face. "Do you want something to eat?" He asked, tugging her slightly when she nodded.
"I meant what I said earlier." He spoke again once the two were wandering back through the crowds of students, plates piled high with desserts. "You look absolutely stunning." He watched the color rise to her cheeks as her teeth sank into her lip before she slowed a bit, looking up to him once more. There was a new shine in her eyes which he hadn't seen in weeks, possibly in months, as she looked at him, her chest rising slowly beneath her shimmering dress. He remembered catching that look in her eye at the start of term, and the way he had followed her gaze to Remus. Only now, her eyes were latched to his, and he let himself think that maybe, finally, she wasn't thinking about Lupin. Maybe, she was finally thinking of him.
"Thank you." She answered finally, her voice still soft, though he felt he would have been able to pick it out from across the room. "For... coming here. For me." She trailed off as a warm smile pulled to his face.
"I'll always come for you. Always." He nudged her softly, as they continued their walk around the cramped party. "Could I ask you a favor in return?"
She smirked, cocking an eyebrow up at him, skeptically. "I'm not sure I could handle whatever it is you're going to ask-"
His laughter cut her off, pulling her against the wall and biting into a beautifully decorated cookie as he shook his head. "My parents throw a... ball... every year on Christmas Eve. Our whole family and... well, almost everyone they know comes and..." He paused, his eyes locked with hers for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. "It's not going to be fun. And I was wondering if you'd like to come with me. We can have a terrible time together."
She thought for a moment, glancing at the new drink Sirius had handed her a few minutes before and back to his eyes which were watching her every movement.
"A ball?" She confirmed, "Like, an actual ball?"
Sirius nodded, half a smile spread across his face.
"People still have balls?" He laughed as she did, grateful that he had at least somehow been able to pull a smile out of her.
"Only the worst kind of people." He confirmed. "So..."
"Yeah," She answered at last, smiling up to him, watching his lips pull into a grin over his teeth. "Course I'll go."
"Really?" His voice sounded different, surprised, even as his grin stuck to his face. "And I thought I could come get you, before... I mean, since you can't apparate, I could-"
"Okay," She nodded, cutting him off, her cheeks tiring from the grin she'd been wearing since he had asked her. "What do I wear?"
"I couldn't care less about that." He answered, taking another bite of a cookie.
"No, Sirius, you don't get to answer like that, please don't let me show up to some massive ball looking ridiculous." She whined, pulling his arm down to force the cookie from his mouth. "Will James be there? Or Peter..." She trailed off, deciding at the last minute to leave Remus's name from her question.
"No," Sirius shook his head slowly, his eyes falling to the floor, a guilty expression taking over his previously giddy one. "My parents are quite... picky with the guest list."
"Oh," She said, confused. She would have thought all of the old pureblood families would stick together for their fancy balls. "So, I'll buy a dress then? Like, a long, fancy one?"
"Don't worry so much about the dress. You could show up in pajamas, you'd still make the night more tolerable." He smirked, watching as the wheels began turning inside her head. "You want to go find James and Lily, then? Make sure that they're not holed up in a broom cupboard somewhere?"
"Make sure they are holed up in a broom cupboard somewhere?" She countered, laughing as they began scanning the room for their friends.