Impossible Bottle
James woke up in way softer bed sheets than what he owned.
He didn’t try opening his eyes, because his head was already hurting enough without daylight. Instead, he buried himself deeper into the pillow, trying to get some sleep.
This did not work out well for him. He felt cold, and he felt sick. No position was really comfortable, and he thought he could figure out the reason why. Sometimes when his body was really tired and awful, he could still be energised and needed to move. All this created for him was this awful state where he wanted to drown in bed, but at the same time run around the block.
Eventually, he did open his eyes, but only as a squint. As he’d expected, the light felt like it was burning his eyes, but it was only a matter of adjustment.
He could at least figure out why he was so cold: he wasn’t wearing a shirt and was currently on top of his bed sheets instead of under them.
Then he looked around the room, and realised that this was not his bedsheets. Or his room.
There was a few seconds of confusion, though he already had a sneaking suspicion that he knew where he was. His thoughts were confirmed when he spotted a bottled ship on top of the dresser.
It was nearing the end of sixth grade, and James had gone on the quest of helping Sirius acquire his younger brother a gift for his birthday.
“It’s impossible,” Sirius complained. “Regulus is so artsy and prickly about it.”
James laughed at that. Ever since the third grader had learned how to read, he had been captivated by it. Almost every time James spoke with him, he learned something new that he had read. It had also made him feel so immensely better than his brother that he had not stopped acting like some snobby old man towards him, even at just the age of eight.
“Maybe you can buy him a book?” he suggested. That was what James had been planning to do.
“No, if I get the wrong one, he’ll never shut up about it.”
They walked past an array of different shops. If this was for anyone else their age, they would have gotten them a lego set, but Regulus claimed that Lego’s were childish. James was just one year older, but it scared him how quickly he was growing up.
People were chattering around them, treating their day in the sun as a person should. Eating ice cream, sitting in the sun, running around and playing. James wished they hadn’t waited until the very last second to get the gifts.
“Let’s check there, he loves the heirlooms mom gives him.” he said, pointing to an antiquity shop. James had never been there, but maybe they had something cool there.
The store smelled old, so he was sure it had to be legitimate. “You check that side.” he was instructed by Sirius before he went his own way.
James started looking through a shelf of old pocketwatches, but he didn’t think Regulus would like it. Sirius and his mom used to call him an ‘old soul’, but James still couldn’t get the picture of the childish Regulus he’d grown to love. He was sure this was just some phase, like when Sirius would go around telling people he was the son of Aphrodite after reading the Percy Jackson books James had leant him. For some reason the French accent was what had sold people.
He passed the watches and got to some picture frames. A lot of them looked very cool, but he wouldn’t know what Regulus would even put in there. The Black family never took family photos, they would hire some painter to do it for them.
At first he was interested in the books that he saw, but they all had too hard language for James to understand them, so he abandoned that idea pretty quick.
Maybe he would want some jewellery? Some of the guys had made fun of Sirius for wearing necklaces he’d gotten, but James had made up some story about how French nobility wore it. They seemed to think it was cool after that, so both him and Regulus were free to wear it freely. He never did know why Sirius even insisted on doing it, he always talked about how tired he was of them, how he’d much rather get a normal present from them.
He looked over a few of them, but they all seemed too old. It wasn’t old like their heirlooms, but old as in not well taken care of. Regulus would probably hate them.
Over on the other side, he found some knives, but he was sure Walburga forbid him from coming near her sons if he ever got him that.
At the very end of the shelf, he gave up, He wasn’t going to find something perfect for Regulus, so he decided on asking his mom for help. She always knew the perfect thing to give to someone.
Then, his eyes caught on something. A glass bottle or jar (he wasn’t entirely sure) that had this big ship inside of it. The ship looked like one of those old sailboats that he’d seen in pictures.
“That is so cool.” Sirius's voice sounded from behind him. “Are you gonna get it for him?”
James shook his head. “I’m gonna ask mum for help.”
Sirius nodded, but kept his eyes on the flask.
“Do you think he would like that?” James asked, watching Sirius’ eyes trail over the sails and planks of the ship.
“Yes.” he responded.
James studied it a bit closer. There was no way that he was going to find it ugly, but he wasn’t so sure that he was going to love it.
“Why?” he asked. He didn’t want Sirius to get him the wrong present. A man’s ninth birthday was no small thing. After all, he was the biggest number, and it was his last birthday that he had a single digit in his age.
“He’s an explorer.” Sirius responded, making James’ nose scrunch. For the last few months, he hadn’t wanted to come out and skate with them. He was stuck up reading books and stuff.
“I thought he grew out of it.” James pointed out. “He said it himself.”
This made Sirius shake his head decisively before picking the bottle up from the stand. “He’s just being weird.” He carried the bottle off towards the register, and James hurried to grab the discarded stand before following him.
He only saw the outlines, curtsy to his dry contacts, but he was sure that it was the same one. He got up from the bed, and walked carefully towards it. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was even in Regulus’ bedroom or where Regulus himself was, but he didn’t want to be heard just yet. For now, he had all the time in the world to look at that ship. He hadn’t been able to be there when Regulus had opened it, Sirius had told him that he had loved it and put it on his fireplace.
Now, it was on his dresser opposite his bed, in the same place it would have been in his old room. James couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment, though he did notice something different. The glass used to have an eversolightly yellow tint to it, but this was completely clear. Had he gotten it changed?
Eventually, he did tear himself away from the ship, and focus on trying to locate his shirt. The floors were annoyingly clean without anything laying around, so he ruled out the possibility of it being in the room.
He took a few more seconds just to double check, just to be sure. Walking out of Regulus’ room was going to be embarrassing enough as it was, he didn’t want to be shirtless for it too.
The final two sweeps confirmed his fear, and he was forced to take the search beyond the safety of the room he was currently alone in .
For a few seconds, he was just standing in front of the door, trying to conjure up any sort of memory that might help him in this unavoidable conversation. All he could find was being in a car, and Regulus with red hair.
Helpful.
Eventually, he did open the door, and was met with the gratifying sound of a shower running in the distance. On the couch was a crumpled blanket, and James grimaced. Had he been kicking Regulus out of his own bed?
He walked over and looked through the sofa area, even behind the tv. This shirt was somewhere, and he was going to find it if it killed him. Finding a good white t-shirt that fit you right was unnecessarily hard, and he’d like to not do that again. Of course, he didn’t remember the brand either, so he would have to start completely fresh.
“I threw it in the wash.” a voice said from behind him. James almost knocked the tv over.
“Fuck, Regulus…” he muttered, stabilizing the wobbling screen.
At the kitchen counter, Regulus was standing with wet hair, a blue shirt and some jeans. In his hand was a mug, and he had an amused look on his face. Weirdly enough, the shower was still running. What a cruel way to fool a hungover man.
“You took off my t-shirt?” he questioned, and Regulus tilted his head with a grimace.
“No, that was all you.”
James could have cursed his past self. He remembered a car, so that likely meant that Regulus had picked him up. That also meant that somehow Regulus had found out that James was hammered somewhere, which meant…
“Fuck, did I call you?” he asked, dragging a hand through his hair. It was sticky, so he pulled it straight back, going to wipe his hand in his shirt, but hitting bare skin instead. With a disgusted sound he pulled it away and redirected it down to his pants, but they were also sticky, so he ended up shaking his hand like it did any good.
“Indeed, and very drunk too.” he took a sip from the mug, clearly enjoying watching James fail at absolutely everything.
Before James could ask any further questions, Regulus nodded towards his right. “I heard you getting up, so I ran you a shower.”
Right. James was disgusting. He couldn’t imagine what was on his t-shirt if he had so much in his hair. Had someone poured drinks on him?
“Thank you.” he muttered, looking off to the door. Where was his phone even? He’d find it later, for now, he wanted to get cleaned off.
He left Regulus at the counter to get to the shower.
The bathroom was this grey modern style, and James rather liked it. The stone walls made it more exciting to look at, and there was this one piece of this wood thing that looked incredibly cool. The shower, at least, looked like a normal shower. People would always have these weird showers you’d never know how to use, but this seemed like a regular one at least. One thing was going right.
He stole some soap and shampoo from Regulus, and also a bit of conditioner. He had worked too long on his hair to let it dry out like that. The consistency was a bit different, but James just assumed it was something special for curly hair. There was no way Regulus’ hair did not have the very best products. It looked very natural, but he’d seen what it looked like coming straight from his bed.
The towel left out for him was white, and James almost laughed. Of course he would have white towels.
He patted himself dry, and tried to scrunch his hair up, just in case the curl thing did something. To no one’s surprise, he did not magically get curly hair. It remained as it usually was.
At least, Regulus had left him something to change into without alcohol all over it. He pulled on a pair of just a tad tighter pair of joggers than what he’d usually wear, but it was nowhere as bad as he’d thought it was going to be. He’d even left underwear and socks, which James found immensely embarrassing. At least, he recognized the hoodie he was given. Folded up, he saw a big letter 4, and the top part of his name.
It was probably time, anyway.
He stepped out with old clothes and the towel in hand. Regulus was sitting on the counter, stirring his cup with one hand and his phone in his other.
“Leave it on the floor, I’ll throw it in with my sheets.” he instructed, and James obliged. Maybe it was easier, Regulus would have to try and get that stuff off anyways, and James wasn’t too good at cleaning things.
He walked up to the kitchen island, leaning on his elbows opposite of Regulus. “Where’s my phone?” he asked. Sirius must either be worried out of his mind, still asleep, or weirdly proud of him.
“I think you left it at the Leaky.” Regulus said, and James practically buried his head in his hands. Just as this day was getting tolerable. He had to go find his phone if he wanted to get in his flat, and he was really hoping to avoid having Regulus call Sirius. He’d like to not have to explain that one to Sirius. He’d wonder why he would have called him, and then James had to get into that they were kind of friends, and that opened a jar of worms James wasn’t sure he was ready to explain yet.
“Tea?” Regulus offered, and James could have proposed. Instead though, he threw a thumbs up, getting comfortable with the darkness of hiding his face.
He couldn’t see him, but he heard the sound of Regulus rummaging around the kitchen preparing the kettle. The sound was harsh and uncomfortable to listen to, but it would pay off as soon as he had some tea in his cup.
“Why were you out on a thursday?” Regulus asked.
“What do you mean? It was a thursday.”
“My point exactly, why were you wasted in the middle of the week.”
James lifted his head this time, leaving the comfort of the counter. Regulus was standing with his back turned to him, stirring up something in a cup.
“It’s like Saturday for Gryffindor's, everything is as cheap as a brick.”
Regulus turned partly around to give him a glance before returning to the cup in front of him. “This country is going to shit.” he mumbled as he poured steaming water.
“You chose to move to this shithole.”
“People make mistakes.”
James snorted. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that, but I know you like it here, you’ve got that American boyfriend of yours and all.”
There was a loud clatter as he slammed the cup in front of James, the smell of caramel filling his nose. He scrunched up his face. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you’d gotten this integrated.” He’d recognise that god awful lipton thing anywhere. Remus had been obsessed before Sirius managed to turn him around.
“Who's this American boyfriend of mine?” Regulus asked, ignoring James mocking his tea.
James cocked his head. “Please, I don’t buy that you haven’t had it out with Evan at least once.”
Regulus made a disgusted face. “Ew.”
“Ah come on,” James defended his friend. “He’s a catch.”
“You’re only saying that because he looks like you, you little narcissist.”
James threw his hands up in defence. “Just because we’re blond it doesn’t mean we look alike, okay? Stop it with the stereotypes.”
“Oh, the struggles of blonde white boys, you have my sincerest sympathy.”
Despite the fact it was the Vanilla and Caramel tea, James took the cup up and brought it to his mouth. It was just a bit too hot, but James was not about to show that, so he swallowed it, practically setting his throat on fire.
Regulus shot him an eyebrow. “That was just boiling.”
He could have said something in return, but he wasn’t completely sure his vocal cords were still working properly, so he settled for a good and forced smile.
“Idiot.” Regulus mumbled, shaking his head.
They kept it like that for a few moments, James on a chair and Regulus leaning his elbows over the counter. It almost felt like old times.
Regulus was making fun of him again, and James could try to annoy him. In a weird way, it was like no time had ever passed, but he’d be foolish to try and pretend. Regulus was a fragile thing, but not in the way one might expect. He was strong and resilient, that had always been clear. He could probably handle way more than James, but that made him distrusting by nature. A friendship with him was a slow and steady build, and you never quite stopped proving to him that you were trustworthy.
James had lost that trust, and he knew better than to think that this light banter meant that trust was restored. Sure, it was a start, but he had a lot of work ahead of him if he ever wanted to be able to call Regulus his friend again.
The hardest part was that Regulus was still to this day one of the closest friends he’d ever had. James had become some sort of middle man between the two whenever they found themselves in a fight, but also a part of a trio they thought would never break. As time proved, it did break, and it tore James apart from the inside. Not only did he have to miss one of his best friends in the whole world, but he also had to take care of his other best friend who was not doing too well.
In truth, James hadn’t been doing too well himself, but he had to stay strong for Sirius’ sake, be a rock he could lean on. He couldn’t break down in tears, no matter how much he wanted to.
At the time, James had difficulties defining exactly how he felt about any of it, and so he turned all of his emotions to anger towards Regulus. That was the reason he didn’t answer his phone call, but also the reason he decided to call him back. He’d eventually come to his senses and realised he had no right to be angry with him, that he was making this into something bigger than it was. Sirius had decided to look out for himself, but maybe Regulus had too. It wasn’t as if he ever liked their parents, he was just better at handling them than Sirius had been. It also helped that they always liked the younger son better.
His thoughts turned away from the memories of the last time he spoke to him and over to better and happier memories. He never was able to stay angry with him, and that didn’t seem to change with the location and country.
It was the weekend after Regulus’ birthday. James wasn’t allowed to come see him, but his parents weren’t usually home for long, so they were gone by Saturday.
It was Saturday afternoon when he was knocking on the door of Grimuald, tall and old. As usual, it was Krecher that opened it up with a kind smile.
“Mr. Potter.” he said.
James smiled broadly. It had been some time since he’d last been able to visit, and that had meant no Krecher. “Hello Mr Krecher.” he gleed, resisting from giving the old man a hug. He knew he wasn’t supposed to, and he was scared it would somehow get him in trouble.
“The older Mr Black is out of town with the Sir and Madam.” he informed him. Sirius had been complaining the whole week about the stupid trip he had to take to go see his uncle. James thought it would be exciting that they were letting him see his relatives for the first time since moving to Britain, but Sirius had hated it more than anything in the world.
“I’m here to see Regulus.” he told the man, who seemed to have a pleased look on his face. “He’s right up in his rooms.” he said as he stepped aside to let James in.
Regulus was sitting in a chair reading from some book James hadn’t seen before, but quickly snapped it shut at his arrival.
“James,” he said with a surprised look on his face. “Congratulations on turning nine.” he said with a smile. Regulus managed to keep his annoyed demeanour for a few more seconds before cracking with a smile on his face.
“Thank you.” he mumbled as he got up to allow James to give him a hug.
“You’re already taller.” he joked, measuring their heads. Regulus pushed his arm away.
“Don’t be rude.” he scolded.
“Will you forgive me if I give you a gift?” Regulus’ face lit up at the mention of a gift. He liked pretending to be older than what he was, but it was at moments like this that James knew Sirius was wrong, that Regulus still was just a boy.
He gave the excited boy the present, and they sat down on the ground as he hastily unwrapped it. There were quite a few layers of paper to go through, seeing as James didn’t quite know how to do it properly yet, but he eventually got there.
Behind the armour of wrapping paper, there was a big brown box which Regulus wasted no time ripping the lid off from. In the middle laid a pair of white and clean skates, completely untouched. They looked more like some fancy winter boots some of the girls would wear than actual skates, but they had shiny and clean blades attached to the soles, though the shape was completely wrong.
“They’re figure skates.” James explained as Regulus took them up to study them closer. “I thought you might like them, since you don’t really like playing hockey with us.”
After Sirius had gotten him the ship, James had gotten straight home to plot with his mother. She had asked if there was some hockey gear he’d want, but had been surprised when James said he didn’t really like hockey. Apparently, Regulus would stop by their house a few times when James and Sirius were out with their teammates to use their frozen pond. Then she had told him about this sport with skates where he wouldn’t have to use a stick and puck, and the plan was set. By the hour, they were at a skate shop to buy him a pair of figure skates.
“What do you do with them?” he asked.
James’ eyes lit up. “You can do cool tricks with them. Mum showed me a video of this girl that was spinning around really fast.”
Regulus smiled. “Like dancers?”
James nodded. “Exactly!”
Half an hour later, they were out on the ice in James’ back yard. He’d put his own skates by the door just in case Regulus wanted to try them on, so he didn't have to waste time running up to his room to get them.
The first few tries, Regulus hadn’t been too good with them, and kept falling over when the tips of the skates caught on the ice. James had been sure Regulus would hate them, and hate him for making him fall over so many times, but every single time James skated over when he fell, he was on his feet before he could reach him.
Half an hour later, Regulus had gotten the hang of it enough to play the spinning game with him, and they took turns playing tag and having races. It wasn’t perfect, but he was able to go without falling over.
After maybe an hour, Euphemia called them in for dinner. She never asked the Black brothers if they wanted dinner, just made the assumption every time she saw them on the ice. James supposed it was fine with them, seeing as they had never declined the offer.
They both skated over to the bench Fleamont had put up to change from their skates. James was barely able to stop before Regulus crashed into him with a hug. It took him a second to respond, but when he did, he pulled him tightly to him. It felt strange, as his hair only reached James’ cheek. They had realised quickly that James was noticeably taller than him, even though they were about the same height, and had done some research to discover Regulus’ new skates were shorter than James’ though they couldn’t really understand why.
“Thank you.” Regulus mumbled into his shoulder.
James didn’t respond, only pulled him in tighter.
It took them fifteen minutes before they were in the car heading back to the Leaky. If James was any lucky, they had kept his phone behind the counter. If he was less lucky, it was Tony that was working. He’d want some money for keeping it safe or something.
“So, how’s training going?” James asked. Last he’d heard, he’d made the team for that competition up north somewhere.
“Good enough,” he responded. “We’re not anywhere near the competition though.”
“That just means you have more time to perfect your routine.”
“I guess.”
They took a turn past the restaurant James’ parents always insisted on going to whenever they visited him.
“More time than we have before the next game.” James continued.
Regulus looked over for just a second before returning his eyes to the road. “How long?”
“Next weekend.” He wasn’t entirely sure that they were ready for it, Ravenclaw was good. The last game had been amazing for James, but they almost lost it. “You should come and watch it, it’s a home game.” he offered.
“I’m busy.”
“You don’t even know what day it is.”
Regulus sighed. James was well aware that Sirius had been trying to get him to a game or two, but he’d never gotten through.
He remembered when they were younger, Sirius would always drag Regulus along with him whenever he didn’t want to go. At first, it had been because he had been scared the other kids wouldn’t like him, and then it turned into him not liking them. He’d eventually gotten his own friends and didn’t even want to hang with Sirius and James that much anymore.
The only times he’d agree to do something was after Sirius had pestered him enough about it, though James was sure that had been the plan all along. He was a grumpy hormonal teenager, of course he wanted to annoy his brother a little before giving in. How didn’t Sirius see that he was just doing the exact same?
“Saturday.” he said, looking over at Regulus. He didn’t respond, not with words, and not with his expression. He wasn’t entirely sure why a hockey game was so important, but he knew Sirius wanted him there more than anything, and Regulus was avoiding them like the plague.
“Let me know, and I’ll save you a seat.”
Evan
Evan was drowning.
Like actual water in his lungs drowning.
“What the fuck…” he heard someone mumble from somewhere before warm hands grabbed onto him.
He wasn’t completely sure how this happened, but it was probably the most embarrassing way to die he could possibly think of. All he wanted was this dramatic shower where he went in with his workout clothes on and mope for a bit, not to get waterboarded by his own shirt.
“Evan, breathe.” he heard.
He was lowered down to the floor of the shower as the shirt was ripped from his face, and he could see that beautiful prison style light he thought he’d never see again a few moments ago.
He coughed and shocked a bit more, but was eventually able to actually breathe. He craned his head backwards to take a look at whoever was holding him up, and was met with the wide eyes of Remus Lupin.
His hair was partially wet, and a drop of water was triling down the tip of his nose. Evan looked up at him for a few seconds before Remus broke the silence.
“What the fuck?” he simply asked, making Evan nearly piss himself with laughter. That was a great question he’d like to know as well. At first Evna felt like some lunatic laying on the floor of the locker room shower wearing drenched tights, laughing his ass off, but then Remus started to join in.
“Are you ok?” he choked out, and Evan was barely able to nod in response. This felt like something that shouldn’t have happened to a grown adult, but here he was. Best part was that Remus had gotten some kind of responsibility for taking care of him, and the first thing he did was nearly drowning in the shower.
“I think I waterboarded myself.” he said when he finally caught his breath.
Remus hadn’t stopped completely yet, and was practically giggling as he answered. “Yeah, what the fuck, Evan?”
“You’ve already said that.” he pointed out, but Remus threw his hands up.
“What else am I supposed to say to this?”
Evan laughed some more with him. He tried imagining a good thing to say to something like this, but he truly couldn’t come up with anything. It wasn’t like he was going to have to use it anyways, this seemed like a more peculiar situation one may find themselves in. If there was a next time, he would probably just die.
“I don’t know man, you don’t say anything.” he laughed.
Remus shook his head. “If you think I’m keeping my mouth shut about this..”
“Please,” Evan pleaded. “They’re gonna make some titanic joke out of it, I can’t handle it anymore.”
That made Remus laugh even harder. One of life's many trials that had been thrown on him was an unfortunate resemblance to Jack Dawson. He’d wish he could say it was in the Leonardo DeCaprio in the nineties kind of way or a dashing personality, but really he was just blonde and kind of talkative. Some people even flat out called him annoying, which was nice.
“I didn’t even think about that, thank you for that idea.” Remus said, making Evna groan. He wished he had some cool nickname like Starboy or Prince, but he wasn’t as cool as Sirius and James, so he was stuck with the lower tier nicknames. Rose was down there with Pipes and Johnny. His actual name was Martin for crying out loud.
“Remus, I thought we were friends,” he protested.
“Keep thinking that..” he said, getting up from the wet floor to examine the splash radius on his clothes.
“Why are you even here?” Evan asked. He had left practice a bit before the others because he had some pain, so he didn’t expect someone to actually be in the locker room, much less the one guy who didn’t even use it.
“I was looking for you, you forgot our daily little checkup.”
This made Evan groan even further. If he was going to go pro one day, he couldn’t be babysat by the PT intern, it was humiliating. No one in the NHL would ever want him like that.
“Well, check away, doctor.” he said, twisting so that his feet were pointed directly at Remus.
“I don’t know if I should actually put potential water in lungs in the report or not.” Remus mumbled, probably to himself. Evan did not spare him his thoughts.
“I think she’ll live better without knowing her hockey players are idiots.” he offered, but Remus grimaced.
“She already knows that, you’re fine.”
Great. He was now responsible for continuing to build on horrific stereotype jokes that may or may not have truth to them.
“Do you want to tell me why you were leaving practice early?” Remus asked with a suspicious look on his face.
Evan shrugged. “Just tired.”
Remus nodded lightly, and for one very nice second, Evan believed he actually bought it. “So if I ask Coach, it will have nothing to do with your ankles?”
“Maybe they were just tires after carrying my weight all day.” he tried, but Remus did not look convinced.
“You do realise that the only way I’m letting you play against Ravenclaw is if the swelling goes down, I don’t care if you think it’s painful or not.”
Evan bit his lower lip annoyed. This was a lot easier when he just had to pretend like it didn’t hurt, but now he had to physically prove it as well. “Okay, maybe it was a little painful.” he conceded, making the older boy sigh.
“You already know what you need to do, right?” he asked, and Evan nodded. The usual consisted of icing his ankles and not using them. Usually, he would just go to Regulus’ for that.
Remus reached out his hand for Evan to take. “Good, now get home and relax.” he ordered, pulling him up to his feet.
“Even you aren’t stupid enough to believe that.” Regulus said with a disappointed look on his face. His book was thrown open in front of him on the couch, revealing all of the notes and scribbles he’d taken during the readings.
“Just because you disagree with something , it doesn’t mean that it’s stupid.”
“But this is stupid.”
Evan sighed.
Regulus could be such a know it all, always persistent that he’s the smartest guy in the room. He could talk to anyone like they were five, and he had an opinion on everything.
The most infuriating part was that he was mostly right.
“Look, it just seems ridiculous to me, like, he has poked fun at child marriage numerous times…”
“No?” Regulus looked slightly mortified.
“...and they’ve literally met like twice.”
He threw his hands up. “But it’s love, Evan!”
Evan made a point out of drawing on a face like ha was going to be sick. “No, it’s fucking weird, wasn’t Juliet just turned thirteen?”
“Well, yes…” Regulus scrunched his nose.
“And is Romeo not a whole sixteen year old?”
He hesitated. “It was a different time…”
“Whoow,” Evan exasperated. “You’re pulling the old racist white man card?”
He rolled his eyes. “That wasn’t what I meant, just that it was perhaps a pressure to write it like that.”
The most annoying thing about classics was the way people decided to defend them with tooth and nail, even when they’re flat out gross. Of course you could make the argument that everyone was marrying underage girls (which was not even true) making it so that Shakespeare felt like the true love thing had to be borderline pedophilic or something. Like Society was telling him that was what love looked like.
Evan thought that was the stupidest argument he’d ever heard. Gay people had been told that true love looked like a man and a woman, but here Regulus was sitting, queer as a stick. That had to be proof enough, at least.
“Okay but ages aside, there's just way too many penis jokes in there for this not to be a comedie..”
“You’re one sick guy if you laughed at Romeo and Juliet.” Regulus looked like he was going to be sick.
“Okay, maybe I just think something can be a bit more nuanced than just a tragedy or a comedie?”
He seemed pleased enough with that answer.
“But I still don’t think he was being serious…”
“Okay, enough, we have to do the actual work.” Regulus insisted.
Evan groaned.
He was so tired of all the pretentiousness in this goddamn field. What was so wrong with having a ‘wrong’ opinion? He thought art was meant to be interpreted, to have different meanings and layers to everyone?
How could a professor look at an analysis of any piece of art and say that it’s wrong? Didn’t that just defeat the whole purpose of the art?
“Out of all the great scenes in that play, why are they forcing us to analyse the most overused one?”
Regulus drew an eyebrow. “Because it’s the most iconic scene?”
“But I’m so tired of that balcony, why can’t we do that ‘As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee’ ? Cold as ice.” Evan mused, “And much more penis jokes.”
Regulus laughed. “Because it’s Tybalt, who cares?”
“I care if he’s going to just drop the hardest roasts I’ve ever seen.”
Regulus went back to ignoring him while focusing on the task at hand; interpreting the balcony scene in a different light. What did that even mean?
Evan felt like he was wasting his time trying to find an original thought about the most analysed scene in history.
“I don’t have the time for this, should be training for the game next weekend.” he complained, pulling Regulus out of his book once again.
The black haired boy glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What you need is to rest your ankles.” he said, drawing a groan out from Evan. He was actually going to die on the spot if he had to hear the word ankle a single more time.
“I think they’re actually going to kill me.” he complained.
“You’ll be fine, stop whining.” Regulus insisted. Evan wasn’t completely sure about that, but he appreciated the rare optimism coming from him.
“Will you come to the game if I do?” he asked. It was walking at the edge of a line, he was aware, but someone had to be the one to give him a push. Sirius was practically begging him to come to the game, but for some reason, he always refused.
Regulus put down his book and glared at him. Evan felt slightly nervous. Yes, he was taller and bigger than him, but Regulus scared him the way those old grandmas from mass did. There was no doubt in his mind that either of them would pull a gun on him if he agitated them enough.
“Okay, I’m sorry, but it would have been nice if you did.” He decided to leave out that Sirius would have liked it, he didn’t want to die just yet. He had a game to win and a PT intern to scam.
“I’m getting some water, do you want anything?” he asked, getting up from the couch.
“Do you have that tea that I like?” Evan asked, tongue practically melting at the thought of the caramel and vanilla flavour.
Regulus rolled his eyes at him. “Yes, you child.”
He left Evan at the couch as he headed to the kitchen. Reluctantly, he got back to the book.
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art…..