‘Just give me a minute. I am just making some last minute edits,’ she shouts over her shoulder at her long time friend and partner in crime.
How many recordings have they been doing in the last forty-eight hours?
Six, seven? It is impossible to keep track.
She closes her eyes for a second to concentrate on what she is trying to do.
~ ~ ~ ~
It is great to be back in the studio together. Getting ready for the Patreon bonus episode is one of her favourite things to do. Not quite as good as recording in front of a live audience, but it is a close second. The Fanatical Family is such a vibrant community. It is hard to keep up with everything that is going on in the disco, but it sure is fun to see.
Kim giggles as they are doing their vocal exercises. ‘The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips. The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.’
Sequoia queues up their intro and the Whomping Willow song starts as usual,
‘You know we really love you,
It ain't our place to judge you
You're feeling scared about it
Naturally…’
They love this song and dance along to it, as they set up their laptops.
All of a sudden the song drops half an octave and slows down and inexplicably the lyrics change.
‘…You know that I am hairy
and that makes me much more scary…
you will need a good friend,
you can’t count on me.’
Kim turns to her partner and squeaks, ‘Sequoia, what is happening. This isn’t Wolfstar.’
They no longer appear to be in the studio. They are surrounded by darkness and all they can hear is a low growling coming from somewhere to their left.
‘What the fuck is going on, Sequoia,’ Kim squeals, her voice rising in panic.
‘How would I know? You think I had something to do with this?’
‘Well, yah, sort of. You are the one who wants to make things scary all the time and this bloody well qualifies.’
‘Does that sound like a dog or a wolf to you?’ Sequoia whispers, after a pause.
‘Why? Would that make any difference, when it is about to attack us?’
‘I suppose not.’
‘What are we going to do, Sequoia?’
‘Put this on.’
‘A red tablecloth? Really, Sequoia? Are you losing the plot?
What do do you want me to do, pretend I am Little Red Riding Hood?’
‘Sure, why not? We have to find our happily ever after somehow.’
‘By pretending we are visiting grandma? That fairy tale always scares the shit out of me. And you do know that Little Red Riding Hood gets eaten by the wolf, don’t you?’
‘Do you have any better suggestions?’
Kim doesn’t say anything for a while.
The growling is getting louder.
‘I am scared Sequoia,’ Kim whispers after a while.
‘So am I, maybe we should sing something to keep our mind off things.’
She softly starts to sing, ‘If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise…’
‘Seriously?’ Kim whispers and then starts to laugh, all tension leaving her body.
‘You do know we now have to put this on the playlist, don’t you,’ she giggles.
‘Oh, shit, I completely forgot about the playlist.’
‘Do you have any food in your pockets?’ Sequoia asks suddenly.
Kim checks her pockets.
‘No, just this bottle and these dice.’
‘Roll for food,’ Sequoia says.
‘Surely that doesn’t work in real life?’
‘Why not? It is worth a try.’
With a shrug Kim throws the dice.
‘12.’
‘Nice one.’
A table appears in the clearing of what they now realise is a forest. On the table sits something that looks like a giant cup cake with a sign that says:
‘There is no scone like a Hone Scone.’
‘We can’t throw that at the beast! We can’t sacrifice the Hone Scone,’ Kim exclaims.
‘Of course we can. Rule number one: WWDD.’
‘What would Dumbledore do?’
‘Exactly.’
And with that they throw the giant Hone Scone at the approaching growling beast.
As soon as the beast catches the Hone Scone between his teeth sparks start flying everywhere.
‘Now what,’ Sequoia whispers and then spots the bottle Kim is still holding.
‘What is that?’
Kim looks down at her hands and tries to make out the faded label on the bottle.
‘It says ‘Distillation of Your Soul’.’
‘Why do you carry a bottle of distillation of my soul around with you?’
‘It might not necessarily be a distillation of your soul, it could be anyone’s,’ Kim says.
‘Why is Merlin’s name do you carry the distillation of anyone’s soul around with you?’
‘I don’t know. You keep asking for that shit on the podcast and our listeners keep sending us this stuff.’
‘I never asked our listeners to distil their soul and send it to us in a bottle? That is just creepy.’
‘Well, maybe some of our listeners subscribe to the ‘fanatical’ bit of our podcast a bit more literally.’
‘Whatever! It is still not going to help us much with our situation right now, is it?’
‘At least the growling seems to have stopped and the sparks are dying down also.’
‘They are?’
They both turn to where moments ago a growing beast was devouring the Hone Scone.
There is nothing left but a scorch mark in the shape of two lightning bolts.
~ ~ ~ ~
‘Sequoia, Sequoia, wake up. Sweet Merlin, your snoring is scaring the neighbours.
Come on, it is nearly noon Mountain time. Time to start our Patreon feed.
‘FF or BMIS?’ Sequoia asks, still a bit groggy and unsure of what just happened.
She stifles a yawn.
Kim just stares at her incredulously.
Oh boy, maybe this is a sign she should take things a bit easier. She doesn’t want to relive Fanatical Fics But Make It Scary any time soon.