Why Not Me?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
M/M
G
Why Not Me?
Summary
Barty, over the years, had fallen in love with Regulus. They had been best friends since their first year and were very close. At first, Barty wanted to pretend he didn’t feel this way, but how could he ignore it? What’s there not to love about Regulus Black?Regulus loved Barty, but not how he loved James. This would crush Barty because he felt that James was consistently winning Regulus’ heart, and he wanted to be the winner, but he knew he couldn’t change how Regulus felt for the Potter boy even if he wished on Regulus’ star.“Why not me?” Barty asked the twinkling star in the sky. He was waiting for a response, but he knew he would never get one; he still hoped that someday Regulus would love him how he loved James.That day didn’t come until 1978 when Regulus and James broke off things because of a particular death mark. This angered Barty when he heard the news, yet he felt a slight hope.
Note
This is based on Washing Machine Heart by Mitski! I hope you all enjoy it! - Reggie <3
All Chapters Forward

1

One morning, Barty woke up and noticed that Regulus was standing by the window looking at it distracted.

"What's wrong, Reggie?" Barty asked. Regulus looked over at him.

"I'm just thinking," He answered quietly. Barty tilted his head. "I'm just thinking about James, is all," Regulus answered, sighing. Barty frowned and got up. He embraced Regulus.

"I know it's hard, and it'll take time, but he was just shocked; maybe he'll come back, or maybe he won't, but he doesn't hate you. He probably confused and shocked and doesn't know how to think because of it," Barty explained, and Regulus nodded. He hid his face in Barty's shoulder as the other boy held him close. Although Barty wants Regulus to love him as he loved James, he knows not to ask for that right now. After all, James and Regulus only broke up a few weeks ago, and Barty would never force anything upon Regulus. He was just fine with their friendship as long as Regulus didn't ignore him like he did when he was with James. "Barty?" Regulus whispered. "Yes?" He answered quietly. "Thank you," Regulus said. Barty needed clarification. "For what?" Barty asked. "For comforting me. I know this must be hard for you," Regulus replied. This caught Barty by surprise. 'Did he know?' Barty asked himself. "What do you mean, Reg?" Barty asked, surprised but scared. Regulus pulled away to look up at his best friend. "I know your feelings about me, Barty," Regulus responded. Barty's eyes widened. "How long did you know?" Barty asked. Regulus shrugged. "I'd known for a while before James and I were official, but I just knew. I've always been able to read you like an open book, but I just never said anything about it," Regulus answered quietly. "I'm not asking anything from you, Reg. I know you and James just broke up. I also know that you still love him, and I'm sure that soon enough, he'll realize that you aren't evil because you aren't! You're not like Wallburger and Onion!" Barty said. Regulus giggled at the names that Barty had given his parents. In the first time in weeks, this was the first time in a while Barty had heard Regulus giggle or even saw him laugh. "I know Barty. That's what's so good about you! You never will pressure or force me to do anything, and you will do anything to make me happy! This all makes you a good friend! Thank you!" Regulus said, smiling. Barty smiled back. // Months later, James returned, but this time, he and Regulus were friends again. Barty and Regulus, on the other hand, were becoming closer and closer. Feelings were lingering in both of them. Some people thought that this time, Regulus and Barty would end up together, but there was still hope in Regulus that he and James would get back together, and Barty knew that. Although it hurt Barty, he knew that he needed to support Regulus no matter what. One night, as Regulus and Barty sat on Barty's bed, Barty's arms around Regulus as he held the younger boy close. Regulus was busy playing with Barty's fingers as Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas sat around the room watching. "Are you sure you two don't want to get together?" Dorcas asked. Regulus stopped and looked at Dorcas. "What? I never said that?" Regulus answered. Dorcas lifted an eyebrow. "So you would date Barty?" Dorcas asked. Regulus shrugged. "Cas, just drop it, please! Mine and Reg's friendship is enough. I would be fine if we never dated or if he and James got back together! As long as he's happy I am!" Barty replied. Regulus looked up at him. "You two literally stare at each other like there's no one else in the room. Sorry that Cas had to ask," Pandora argued. "Please don't fight, guys! If Barty and Regulus are fine the way they are, let them be them, but there's no reason to fight!" Evan said. This calmed everyone down.

"You're right, Ev! Sorry, Barty and Reg!" Dorcas and Pandora apologized.

Then there was knocking. Pandora excused herself and opened the door. "Reg, your ex-boyfriend is here!" she yelled. Regulus pulled himself out of Barty's arms and then went out to the hallway to speak to his ex while Barty just sat there wondering what they could be talking about as Pandora, Dorcas, and Evan all watched with smug smiles.

"Whip those smiles off your faces!" Barty sighed, crossing his arms.

"Stop being so jealous," Pandora smiled. Barty frowned at her.

"I'm not jealous," he replied. Evan and Dorcas look at each other and then snicker.

"Barty, you are very jealous to the point the room smells of your jealousy!" Evan said matter-factly.

Barty didn't say anything, and it would stay this way until Regulus returned.

"So what was that about?" Pandora asked, amused as she looked over at Barty, who was still jealous.

"James is thinking about taking me on a date," Regulus said, walking back over to Barty, who was even more jealous but enveloped his arms around Regulus again, placing his head on the shorter boy's shoulder.

"Oh really?" Barty said, hiding his jealousy. "Are you going?"

"Barty!" Regulus yelled. "I am going! You need to stop being possessive over me!"

Barty sighed and got up, letting go of Regulus. "Where are you going?" Regulus asked. "Stop being possessive over me," is all Barty said before he left the dorm. // Later that night, Regulus found Barty with the help of the Marauders' Map. Barty was sitting on the edge of the astronomer's tower, looking up at the stars, but Regulus didn't know that he was watching the star Regulus was named after. Regulus moved slowly towards Barty. He sat down next to him, and Barty looked at him. Regulus lifted his arms, ready to welcome Barty with an embrace. Barty caved and laid his head on Regulus' chest. "I'm sorry, Reggie. I didn't mean to be so possessive. You're not mine, and you never were," Barty apologized. Regulus' fingers went through Barty's hair as the other boy spoke. "It's alright, Barty. I'm sorry for snapping at you! I know your feelings towards me, and I know how jealous and possessive you get. Barty, you know I still love James, right?" Regulus replied. Barty nodded. "He came back just like I told you. Reg, I will be happy as long as you are! If you're happy with James, I will be happy as your friend," Barty said. Regulus lifted Barty's face away from his chest. "Barty, you're an excellent friend, and I thank you for understanding, but you need to tune down on the jealousy and possession before you and James get into fights over this!" Regulus responded. Barty melted into Regulus' touch and nodded. "I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Barty said, looking fondly at the other boy. Regulus stared at the other boy, his lips parted. "Is everything alright?" a voice asked. Regulus looked away from Barty and over at the stairway. He removed himself from Barty. "Yeah, everything is fine!" Regulus responded. James walked up the stairs with a smile. "I'm glad! Are you still up to that date?" James asked. Regulus didn't respond; he looked over at Barty, who was back at the stars. "I'll be fine, Reg. See you later," Barty said, not looking at his friend but at the stars. "Alright, bye, Barty," Regulus said, and Barty nodded in response. Regulus and James left. Barty began to cry a bit but wiped his tears. 'At least I still have his star,' Barty said. That night, Barty had fallen asleep in the astronomer's tower. Regulus was concerned in the morning when he returned, and Barty's bed was still empty. He went around worryingly, looking for his best friend until he was at the entrance of the tower's stairs. He rushed up to them and sighed, realizing seeing his best friend sleeping on the floor. He went over to Barty and lifted his head gently to place it on his lap. He ran his fingers through his friend's hair as he slept. "Reggie," He said quietly. Regulus giggled quietly. He always loved how Barty knew it was always him. They were so used to each other's touch that they knew, even with their eyes closed, who the other was when they would touch him. It wasn't like this with James, although they were very clingy with each other. Regulus always shook this off, saying it was because he and Barty had been friends since they were 11, while he and James had been dating since he was 15. This was James' last year, and Regulus feared what would happen in long distance. They would only be safe to see each other once Regulus was done at Hogwarts. "Yes, Barty," Regulus replied. The other boy jumped up and stared at his friend. Regulus needed clarification about Barty's reaction. "What's wrong?" "Why aren't you with James?" Barty asked quietly, looking away from Regulus now. "Because I wanted to see you. I won't ruin our friendship like I did the first time around with James. I promise I won't screw things up between us just because I have a boyfriend! You're as important as him!" Regulus vowed. Barty looked at him. For a while, both stared at each other and then there was some moving close to each other. Barty looked at Regulus' lips, and Regulus looked at Barty's lips. They leaned their faces close to each other, but Barty was quick to move away. "You have a boyfriend. This wouldn't be good for your relationship with him," Barty said. Regulus nodded. Barty looked away and didn't notice that Regulus had gotten up and left.

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