‘Mine!’
‘No, mine’
‘Non, non, mine’
Hermione did not think small kids could make such a racket.
Being an only child and not having any aunts or uncles and therefore no little nieces and nephews, the closest she had ever been to small children were first years at Hogwarts.
When she offered to babysit these two, while their parents and godparent went to the Quidditch finals between Ron’s favourite team, the Chudley Cannons, and the Holyhead Harpies, the team Ginny played for, she thought she would just let them play, while she caught up on some reading. How wrong she had been.
Ron had thought it would be good for her to get some hands-on experience, before they had their own little bundle.
‘You won’t find what you need to know about rearing children in a book, my mum always says,’ he had told her.
She was beginning to see Molly’s point. These two were at best a handful.
Maybe she should have suggested they dropped the kids to her place, in which case she would have known where to find things to keep the kids occupied, such as some of her old Muggle toys, she had rescued from her parents house after the war, but here she was unfamiliar with where things were kept.
The usual Muggle games of ‘I spy’ and ‘Hide and seek’ seemed to hold no interest for this pair.
She even addressed the girl in French, to put her at ease, but the girl had just glared at her. Despite the girl’s young age, Hermione was for a brief moment reminded of the delegation of Beauxbatons girls in their fourth year at Hogwarts, who had that special way of looking down on you disdainfully.
After a desperate search of the house, she had managed to find an old pink fluffy bunny, that looked vaguely familiar, and a plushy green snake in the Master bedroom, of all places, and that was what the two kids were now fighting over.
The concept of sharing seemed alien to them, so logically, with a quick flick of her wand, she duplicated the toys, which quietened the kids for a moment, before the girl decided she wanted both pink bunnies and started pulling at the one the boy was holding.
And off they were again.
‘Mine!’
‘No, mine’, the boy’s hair had by now gone through all the colours of the rainbow in quick succession.
‘Non, le mien!’
‘Merlin give me strength’, Hermione thought.
‘Children, children,’ she said, as
she tried to stop the kids from fighting.
They turned around to her, with a look generally only reserved for something distasteful, and the boy announced ‘You are not the boss of me.’
She was beginning to contemplate using Mimble Wimble the tongue-tying spell on the pair, but figured that such a thing would probably be frowned upon, as would using the leg-locker curse.
She supposed cursing, was a no-no when it came to children as much in the Wizarding world as in the Muggle world, but she had to do something, as the two were driving her up the wall.
Having pulled the bunny from the boy’s grasp, the girl had proceeded to start hitting him over the head with it.
Definitely part-Veela, Hermione thought to herself.
‘Victoire Antoinette Louisa Weasley, stop that immediately,’ Hermione said sternly, wagging her finger at the girl in the same manner and tone she had used with Hagrid’s half brother, back when she was still in school.
What worked on a giant, surely should work on a pint sized humanoid.
Hearing her full names spoken in a stern voice, did seem to give the girl pause for a moment or two. Long enough for the boy to take back the rabbit and for the wailing to start all over again.
‘Edward Remus Peregrin Lupin’, Hermione tried again, even more sternly.
This time the children paused long enough for her to cast Circum Cunabula which encased each child, still clutching their toys, in a transparent bubble-like cradle that was open at the top. With a flick of her wand, Hermione started to gently rock the two spheres, much to the delight of the two surprised kids, who clapped their hands, giggling loudly, until eventually the slow rocking lulled them to sleep.
They looked like little angels, in their cradles. Teddy, his hair now the same brown colour as his father, was slowly sucking his thumb. Being reminded of Remus and Tonks, Hermione was overcome with sadness. ‘Bloody hormones’, she thought, as she wiped away a few tears.
Victoire, who Hermione had nicknamed Tory in her head, was twirling her blonde hair in her sleep with one hand, clutching the pink bunny with the other. The girl looked like a carbon copy of her mother.
Peace at last, Hermione thought, as she pulled, what looked like, a self-help guide out of her tiny handbag. ‘Wrangling Offspring in the Magical Kingdom - a practical guide to childcare for the Modern Witch’ by L. Brown and P. Pomfrey. Funny how all these years later, she would turn to advice from Lavender of all people, she mused, though she planned on skipping the chapter on Divination. ‘What your dreams tell you about your future child’ was probably not as useful to her, as some of the more practical tips about what to do when a baby was teething or colicky, but maybe the chapter on Naming your Child - be careful what you wish for was worth a quick read.
She was more inclined to take advice from the formidable Hogwarts’ matron and was looking forward to reading the chapters on Practical remedies for Childhood ailments and injuries and Magical Maladies and how to avoid them .
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When Bill and Fleur, Ron, Harry and Draco returned from the match, that evening, they found two children happily playing with toy bubble cradles, each busy rocking a pink fluffy bunny and plushy snake to sleep.
Draco’s eyes widened at the sight of the familiar toys, but he did not say anything.
The kids seemed perfectly content, Teddy’s hair was a glorious shade of blue, a sign he was enjoying himself, and Victoire was heard saying ‘Tante ‘erminny, regarde ça’.
Every time the girl called her ‘erminny, she was reminded of Viktor Krum, and judging by the thunderous expression on his face, so was Ron, or maybe it was just because his beloved Cannons had lost, to his sister no less.
The adults watched as the kids lifted the cradles with sleeping toys high in the air and then dropped them with great glee, laughing loudly.
Fleur looked shocked and even Bill looked perplexed.
Only Harry seemed to find the kids’ actions completely normal and amusing.
‘Guess someone has been teaching them nursery rhymes,’ he laughed.
‘Nursery what?’ Fleur enquired uncomprehending.
‘Yeah, you know… Rock a bye baby…’, Harry answered.
He was met by four blank stares, so Hermione and Harry joined forces in singing
Rock a bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.
Accompanied by the children’s little voices joining in and acting out the rocking of the babies and falling of the cradles with great enthusiasm and loud screeches of laughter.
‘Barbaric’, Fleur muttered at the same time as her husband Bill said, ‘Clever!’ and asked,’’Where did you get the cradles and the toys?’
‘Oh, conjured them,’ Hermione said nonchalantly with a wave of her hand, as if it had been nothing, much to Draco’s relief, not realising that Hermione was deliberately vague not in an attempt to protect his little secret, but her own much bigger one.
She somehow did not think, either set of proud parental figures would like to hear how she had effectively done some rocking of bigger child-sized cradles of her own earlier, to shut up the kids for some much needed peace and quiet, and how upon waking, she had shrunk the cradles to toy-size, so that the kids could use them to play with.
All is fair in love and childcare, Hermione thought, as she absentmindedly caressed her belly. She wondered what her mother in law’s view would be, if she knew. Not that Hermione had any intention of telling Molly any of what went on this afternoon.
Best let sleeping bunnies and snakes lie, she thought, but she was dying to hear the story behind the toys she found, as Draco seemed to be most perturbed at seeing them being manhandled by the two toddlers.