Heroes
"Siwi, I want to be just wike you!"
Sirius felt like he's getting choked, he tries to suck in a sob
They met by the Astronomy Tower after the opening feast, they haven't spoken to each other ever since he ran away that break, not even when they saw each other in the train, Regulus didn't even acknowledge him , it ended up in an argument of course, both tearing each other as their words hit nails on nails, just like how they grew up
"You know, one thing about me is that I'm glad I'm not like you, and I never will be!"
"Siwi?" Regulus tugged at his shirt
"R-remove the jacket Reg" he says as his voice breaks
"But, don't you wike it? Mawlene made it fow me, I wook wike you..."
"I said remove it!" He snaps, removing the little hand that's tugging at his shirt away with a little force, then he looks at Regulus, and the scowl he has softens and he's horrified at what he's done as Regulus looks at him eyes wide, his lips began to tremble and tears pooled on the rim of his eyes
"S-sowwy…am sowwy…" the toddler chokes and Sirius can't even comprehend what to do
"What the hell? Sirius!" Mary says with mix of scolding and disbelief
"What's wrong with you!" Marlene put herself between the brothers, Lily on the other hand managed to get Regulus who's now sobbing on her shoulder still saying sorry in broken lisps
"I…" Sirius stammers, looking at Regulus, he wants to say sorry but the looks on his baby brother's face, that look he knows so well, how his baby brother flinched , Sirius' heart sank , no he can't look at it right now ... He...
"What's going on here?" James along with Remus just arrived immediately sensing the distress with the people in the common room
"Im…Reg, I " Sirius gapes, mouth opening and closing and hands clenched
"Sirius? Are you –" Remus wasn't able to ask when Sirius ran past him out of the common room, Remus looks at the girls and then James, he wants to follow Sirius to make sure he's alright at the same time he's worried about the still crying toddler that the girls are trying to comfort
"It's okay Moony, we'll take care of Regulus, you check on what's going on with Sirius yeah?" James assures him with a knowing look and passed him the map
"Yeah" he immediately went out, opening the map to see where Sirius is headed, he and James had noticed it, they can see the turmoil in Sirius' head ever since the incident with Regulus happen, he would've tried to cover it up but Remus knew it would only be a matter of time before he snaps, he opted to wait for Sirius to tell him instead of talking about it earlier, he should've known that when it comes to Sirius' relationship with Regulus or any of his family for that matter, Sirius would shut himself down rather than…
No use on regretting, he needs to get to Sirius
He follows the trace of Sirius in the map, up at the astronomy tower, Remus climbs and sees him, knees to his chest and face buried in his arms aside from his eyes, trained on the starry night sky
He quietly sat beside him making his presence known, then Sirius speaks
"He said he wanted to be like me" Sirius says through a sniffle
"He does idolize you"
"No I don't want it!... I, we fought, after the opening feast, and he told me then, that he will never be like me, he wanted nothing to do with me, I hated him for… for staying quiet, he hates me for leaving, and now, Fuck Moony, the moment I saw him,shrunk into a four year old I wanted to back away, I want nothing to do with it, let his friends handle the mess but then he called me, He called me, he reached for me and all I can think about is to get him,to keep him close"
Remus pulls him close and Sirius clings to him for lifeline as he tries and fails to contain his sobs
"I scared him, I snapped at him earlier and he was scared, Just like my mot–"
"Woah, hey, I'm going to stop you right there, you're not your mother, and yes you shouldn't have snapped at Regulus but you got overwhelmed, but you're not your mother, would your mother think about how she scared Regulus?"
"As if…"
"See? You've been able to handle all of these so much better than anyone love, and I may not understand the complicated relationship between you and your brother but from what I can see right now, that adoration is a well deserved one Sirius, In one way or another, you'll always be Regulus' hero"
"Dunno, seems like I've failed him too much already, there's no way to fix it"
"That's not true, there is a way to fix it, I don't know how though, I'm not usually the talking to get my feelings out and be optimistic about it type, I think that's James"
Sirius huffs a laugh, sniffling still cuddled up to Remus, of course Moony will get him to huff up a laugh
"So you admit you're a pessimist"
"Not a pessimist, I'm realistic"
"Right of course, our ever realist Moony" he grins
"Oh sod off" Remus laughs then he plants a kiss on Sirius' forehead, a pad of thumb wiping away the tears
"Have you seen it? He does look cute on that mini leather jacket, you think he'll look cuter with mini quidditch robes? Gryffindor of course, Maybe I'll get Marls to take a picture, something to blackmail him about when he gets back to his normal age, see if he'll still be a prick"
Remus just rolls his eyes at Sirius, he'll never understand why siblings try to annoy the bloody hell out of each other but he's glad that Sirius gets to lighten up, as for the what ifs, they'll have to cross the bridge when they get there
—-----------
Regulus is still sniffling on Lily's shoulder, the toddler still very much distressed, Lily, Mary and Marlene stayed with him , James also stayed with them, all of them worried about the two brothers
"Why did Siwi got mad? am I bad?" Reggie had shifted in Lily's hold, now sitting on her lap, face swolle red from crying
"Oh no,no, You're not bad, you didn't do anything wrong! Sirius is just being a c–" Marlene was cut off by Mary who elbowed her, she lets out a yelp and looks at Mary with an offended look
"Language! anyways, no Reggie, sweetheart it's not your fault alright? I think Sirius is just overwhelmed" Mary gives Marlene a pointed look before softly assuring Regulus
"Mary is right Regulus, Sirius is just overwhelmed and sometimes when people are overwhelmed they could snap out" Lily explains, giving the disheveled curls a light brushing
"But he got mad at me, wike when mummy gets mad , he weft, what if he don't comeback?what if he don't wike me anymowe?"
Another set of fresh tears runs his cheeks and his lips juts out in a pout, little hiccups quaking his chest, the girls look at each other with a slight panic, unsure on how to comfort the boy
A butterfly suddenly starts to circle around Reggie, he sniffs as his eyes follow the butterfly in awe, then the butterfly perched on his nose
"hello Regulus" a high pitched voice greets and as the butterfly flapped it's wings a bit
"H-hewwo fwutterby"
"Why are you crying?"
The girls also watched in awe, Marlene looks at James with an amused look and James shrugs as he gives her a wink
" I don't fink Siwi wikes me anymowe" the toddler replied at the butterfly perched at his nose
"Why I don't think that's true! I have a very good feeling that you are Sirius' favorite"
"Weally?"
"Of course, he told me himself"
"B-but Siwi's not hewe, he weft"
"Oh I'm sure he'll come back,Infact, I think he's here…"
As if on cue, Sirius and Remus walks in, everyone's attention went to them and Remus just gave them all a small reassuring smile
"Mistew Fwutterby youw wight! Siwi came back!"
The toddler climbed down Lily's lap and immediately ran towards Sirius
"Siwi, youwe back! Youwe not mad anymowe? I'm sowwy"
Like a dam, Sirus bursts into tears and picked up Reggie hugging him close
"Siwi don't cwy"
"I'm sorry Reggie, I'm sorry Etoilé, I'm so sorry, I'm back now, I'm…I'm not leaving again"
—------
Regulus fell asleep being pillowed on Sirius' chest, clinging tightly on him, the dorm's in a comfortable quiet and Sirius, both Peter and James already fell asleep while Remus reads
"Hey Moons"
"Hm?"
"Do you think I'll ever make it up to him?" Sirius asks
Remus puts his book down a bit and smiles at him
"You'll be, after all, you'll always be each other's favorite"
Sirius huffs and blows a kiss at Remus before pulling the covers over him and Regulus
"Goodnight Moony, I love you"
"Sweet dreams love"
"Goodnight Little Star " He kissed the toddlers forehead goodnight