Leaving Port
Remus
An intense line of sweat had gathered across Remus’ brow. He glanced again at the full house held in his hand. He was going to win. He maintained a bored facade as he glanced at his mate James, who was visibly not as calm and collected but had a look of anxiety deeply etched into his features.
Remus wanted to go home, back to America. Galevanting across Europe and flying by the seat of his pants was fun for the last few months, but the man craved something familiar again. And the tickets aboard the RMS Azcaban, going to America in precisely 5 minutes, were staring him dead in the eye. The money would be an excellent addition, but the tickets were necessary.
Here he was, in a dingy pub by the port of South Hampton, betting everything he owned in a game of poker against the scariest motherfuckers he had ever seen in his life. The deep scars that decorated his features gave Remus somewhat of an intimidating stature. However, the rest of his demeanor seemed to provide no daunting ambiance to the two Swedes sitting directly across the table.
He focused again back on the poker game in front of him. Cigarette loosely dangling out of his mouth, staring at one of the burly men in front of him.
“Someone’s life is about to change,” he muttered, turning to his left, “James?.”
James sheepishly laid down his cards. Nothing.
Remus raised his head to look back at the Swedes. “Antonin?”
Nothing.
One man left. His palms were sweating, and he felt as though he could throw up. Remus had no clue if there was a God or not. Still, regardless, he found himself mentally praying to whatever higher power that the man sat to his right did not have any cards better than himself.
Reluctantly, Remus muttered, “Igor? Got anything?” He did. Two pair. Good for some. But it’s just not good enough to beat Remus Lupin.
“Gah, two pairs? James, I’m sorry.”
Instantly, James’ face melted, tension slowly winding itself into his features, “What do you mean you’re sorry? I just bet everything I-” James continued to ramble angrily at Remus before allowing Remus to speak up.
“I’m sorry,” Remus started, raising his voice over James’, “because you’re not gonna see your family for a really long time- I got a full house, boys!” He hollered.
As Remus’ cards hit the table, he shot up to scream, “Full house! Full house!”
It had been years since he felt this type of genuine joy. He grabbed James and firmly planted a kiss on his cheek.
“We’re going to America!” Remus continued to hoot and holler as James held up the tickets, praising the sky.
Remus began to collect the money that was also included in the pot when he felt Igor grab him by the collar.
He hesitantly looked up, watching the man before him wind up his fist, only to watch it sail into Antonin’s face.
Remus let out a chuckle of relief and continued to gather the money on the table before him before turning around to James and kissing the papers in his hands.
The joy that was flowing through Remus Lupin’s veins at this moment was unlike anything he had ever felt in his life. Pure and unfiltered happiness radiated off the young man as he beamed at his friend.
“I’m going home!” He proclaimed.
“I’m going to America!” James excitedly told the pub Igor and Antonin were now in a very vicious brawl on the floor across the table from them.
But happiness had never been one to linger in Remus Lupin’s life, as at that moment all the glory and pride he felt in that moment when the bartender hollered across the pub,
“No, mate! RMS Azkaban is going to America. Right now.”
All excitement ceased as Remus and James both turned to look at the clock hanging on the wall.
11:58.
Remus felt the blood drain from his face. The feeling of throwing up crept back up his throat before he sprung into action. He grabbed his bag and grabbed James by the shirt, and hauled ass out of there.
They were sprinting down the road that ran parallel to the ship, seeking an entrance through the crowds of people, hoping to say goodbye or merely get a glimpse of the most incredible ship in the world. As Remus saw the deck connecting land and ship come into his vision, he felt the excitement creep back up again.
He glanced back to look at James, ensuring his friend was still behind him, keeping up. And there he was, sprinting through the crowded streets with his usual large grin plastered across his face.
Just as they made it to the platform, it began pulling away, the ship slowly moving and creating a more significant gap by the second.
“Wait!” Remus screamed, “We’re passengers! We’re passengers!” He found himself desperately waving the tickets in his hands as if to make a show to the crew member who was on the boat.
The crew member had yet to shut the ship door, waiting, to Remus’ delight and surprise, for the two men to get aboard.
“Did you go through the inspection queue? He asked the two.
“Of course!” Remus responded confidently, “Besides, we’re both American; we wouldn’t have lice anyway!” A false statement, he was sure. Given the living conditions both he and James were experiencing the last few months, he could probably benefit from a shower. However, it seemed to be what the man wanted to hear, so he mentally applauded himself.
He had half a mind to thank James later for keeping his mouth shut and not giving away his thick Italian accent because, for a second there, he thought the idiot was going to try and advocate for himself.
The two men ran down the hallway of the third-class cabins, beaming and still reeling from the last five minutes of unexpected luck.
“We’re the luckiest sons of bitches in the world! Do you know that?” Remus shouted enthusiastically.
The conditions of the third class cabin would be unideal to most, filled with a myriad of stenches, hoards of people with not enough room, and Remus was reasonably sure he had seen a rat or two scurrying across the hallways, and yet the most luxurious accommodations Remus had ever had for himself.
The ship lurched and sent Remus and James swaying into the wall of the tight hallway. Still searching for their room, they turned to look at each other with broad smiles creeping onto their faces.
They did it. The ship had left the port, and they were on board.
They were going to America. And Remus was going home.
All the adrenaline and excitement of the last few minutes had swirled by them, but this, feeling the waves, smelling the salt air, the hum of the ship’s engines, was confirmation that Remus was going home. And he was so fucking thankful.
–
The boys continued to weave through the endless hallways of the third-class accommodations until they found their room and threw their sacks down on the metal bunk beds.
They were sharing the cabin with two other men, who, if Remus was correct, were friends of their poker opponents, judging by the thick Swedish accents and the confused look sunk into their faces.
Not wanting to be confined to the awkwardness, James grabbed Remus’s hand and started pulling him all through the ship.
Both had absolutely no idea of where they were going and just how they were going to find their way back in this enormous vessel, but they didn’t have to care. They were done scraping by for the next few days until they reached the New York port.
The duo reached the very front of the ship, standing on the rails of the boat’s bow. The wind was sweeping through Remus’s sandy hair, salt burning his eyes, making them prick with tears; he closed his eyes and instantly shot them open again, not wanting to miss a moment.
He couldn’t believe his luck over the last hour. This morning, when he woke up cold and damp after sleeping in the gallows of the dreary South Hampton alleyways, he contemplated if he would have enough money or strength to find food for the day. The prospect of a real job was lost on him, never becoming stable enough in one place to enjoy the luxuries of a steady paycheck. But he always kept himself afloat, and he even made some friends along the way.
Thinking of James, Remus found his gaze wandering towards his friend’s face. Although Remus himself was not a very emotional person, James wore his emotions on his sleeve.
Remus always knew how James felt just by a single look. And it was evident now this was the happiest his friend had ever been.
He hesitates even to consider James a friend. Sure, he was a close companion, but friends left. That looming and daunting title made him keep everyone at arm’s length. But for the foreseeable future, James was his friend.
Coming back into himself, Remus leaned over the railing, staring down at the vast ocean below him. Something caught his eye below, and he frantically reached for James’ flannel to get his attention.
Dolphins. A whole herd of them, swimming below them alongside the boat.
Remus felt as though he was going to pass out. Or wake up in some dark alleyway. This had to be a dream. A false reality. This wasn’t his life. Perhaps he had died, and this was the afterlife. Because never once had Remus felt this lucky. And he was terrified it was going to end.
Feeling as though he wanted to relish in the moment entirely, he grasped both hands on the side of the railing, shifting James to stand behind him, and propped his feet up on the rails as well.
He could hear James laughing behind him, muttering that he was going to fall, but Remus couldn’t be bothered. He had never felt this alive.
“I can see the Statue of Liberty already!” James joked, “Very small, of course.”
Remus looked down at him, beaming. He couldn’t contain his excitement or nonchalant nature anymore. And he trusted James enough.
“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!” Remus bellowed. James countered by hollering, and Remus felt himself following suit.
Because there they stood. Two nobodies with nothing to their names on the most prominent and nicest ship in the world. They had every right to scream and shout from the rooftops.
They were the luckiest sons of bitches alive.
-
Sirius
Sirius felt like he was drowning.
Every step closer he got to the ship was another pile of dirt thrown on his grave.
Although he could acknowledge how impressive the ship itself was, not out loud, of course, he was far too stubborn to appease his mother and fiancé, but he would willingly trade place with just about anyone in the entire world at the moment.
For some, it was a ship of dreams, but to Sirius, it was his nightmare.
The automobile Sirius was riding in pulled alongside the boat on the dock, and he slowly got out, lagging with every movement he could.
Staring up at the ship, Sirius maintained an unimpressed look.
“I don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” he began in a bored tone, “it doesn’t look any bigger than the Durmstrang ship.”
He turned around to face his fiancé, Bellatrix Lestrange and was met with a face of bewilderment.
Bellatrix rolled her eyes. “You’re so difficult to impress. You can complain about a lot of things, but Azkaban is not one of them. It’s over 100 feet longer and far more luxurious compared to the Durmstrange. Stop pouting.” She spat.
Sirius was not a violent person. But something about everything that Bellatrix said sent him into a rage. He couldn’t image what married life was going to be. Hell seemed to be the only word that came to mind.
Walburga, his mother, however, loved Bellatrix. Of course, she would. She hand-picked her to be his bride. Everything in his life was out of his control. For someone who appears to be granted all the power in the world, he felt utterly helpless.
The two of them enjoyed ganging up on him. As though they agreed on creating a club to make his life miserable.
Sirius gazed upon the lower class citizens getting their health inspections, the crowds of people gathered to just get a mere glimpse at the ship, the chaos seemingly everywhere around him but his own personal bubble.
He longed to pop the bubble.
Sirius thought every waking moment about what it would be like to leave his family and life behind and become a nobody. It seemed not only blissful but like heaven.
–
After listening to Bellatrix ramble about the nature of how unsinkable the ship was, Sirius felt utter relief to be in their room. He wanted the world to go away and to just melt into his bed.
Of course, this would never be allowed.
The large group of them reached the area where their suites were and began fanning out to instruct the crew on where to unpack their things.
Bellatrix left to go inspect the private deck they had for the voyage, pleased to get her out of his hair.
Lucius and Narcissa navigated their way to their own suite while Sirius’ father, Orion, took Sirius’ younger brother, Regulus, to have a look at their suite.
And, because he was convinced God loved to spite him, Walburga continued to linger within the living area of Sirius’ suite.
As soon as Sirius saw Bellatrix making her way inside, he moved to go out onto the private deck himself, secretly praying that she wouldn’t consider it an invitation to join him.
Reluctantly, he held the door open for her, allowing Bellatrix to make her way inside and Sirius to slip out.
He stared down below at the moving water.
The intrusive thoughts began to slip in. Telling him to just get over the railing and jump. He couldn’t do this anymore. The second he stepped back on American soil, he was even more trapped than before. His father would begin training him on how to properly take over the company, he and Bellatrix would move forward with their wedding, and he would be doomed to a life that would make him wake up every day and wish that he were dead.
He saw no other way out.
Sirius was pulled out of his thoughts by the shrill call of his mother from inside, informing him that he needed to come in and prepare for dinner.
Without thought, Sirius stepped back from the railing and moved to go inside.
He was on “the ship of dreams,” and yet, every moment felt like a waking nightmare.