Chapter 9 - Oh Brother
"I got it! I got it!" Regulus cheered as he rushed down the hall, students sending him all kinds of looks.
He stumbled, his face contorting with fear before arms caught him.
"What are you on about?" Sirius quizzed steadying his brother.
"Nothing." Regulus quipped as an automatic response.
Sirius' eyes traveled to the potion in his hand, "What's that?"
"It's a Gillyweed potion, for James-" Regulus started.
"James? Since when do you call him James?" Sirius quizzed as he furrowed his eyebrows.
Regulus pulled away from Sirius, "What is this? An interrogation?"
Sirius didn't step down, "Why would you willingly help James? You hate Gryffindors."
Regulus laughed coldly, "I don't hate Gryffindor's. You may be house biased, but I am not."
"Could've fooled me", Sirius spat, "That's right it's not Gryffindors- just anyone who’s not of the purest blood."
"You don't even know me." Regulus sneered.
"I know you better than you know yourself-" Sirius started.
"You left! You don't know anything because you left!" Regulus spat.
The hall went silent, the audience of students falling back to watch from afar.
"I know everything because you didn't!" Sirius retorted.
"I was fourteen! You asked me to leave behind everything I'd ever known- for what? For you?", Regulus huffed, "At least I knew mother and father didn't love me, but with you I never knew."
"Bullocks! You stayed because like your other scaly buddies, you are a coward!" Sirius yelled.
"You ignored me for years for just being sorted into Slytherin! And while you were gone for your first year I took more beatings than you could imagine, just because you had been sorted into Gryffindor- all for you to ignore me!" Regulus exclaimed.
"I've just been your outlet- a way to take out your hate on our family! Because its easier for you to justify your actions by grouping me with them!", Regulus spat not giving the boy a chance to speak, "I'm the only one who ever loved you and you left me."
"You made your choice." Sirius hissed.
"And you remind me of it every second of every day! I'll never be good enough for you!" Regulus exclaimed, "God, you are just like them!"
Before Regulus could comprehend, Sirius slammed him against the wall- clutching onto his collar.
"What are you gonna do, Sirius? Hit me?" Regulus quizzed regaining the breath that'd been knocked out of him.
Sirius glared at him, seeming conflicted, before releasing him.
The smaller boy laughed handing Sirius the potion.
"Tell Jamie I said he's welcome." Regulus quipped spitefully, emphasizing the pet name as Sirius growled at him.
Regulus smirked victoriously as he dusted himself off, heading towards the dorms before dinner.
Regulus hadn't felt this good in forever.
It was a nice change, finally putting his brother in his place. Regulus knew just what to say to tick his brother off.
Regulus wasn't any more of a coward than Sirius was- there was no right or wrong choice.
Neither boy was perfect and Regulus was constantly reminded.
He wasn't Sirius. He was too skinny, too short, not smart enough, not strong enough, not outgoing. The list went on.
Sometimes his mother would get urges to break something- usually him- mostly because if she squinted hard enough, Regulus almost looked like Sirius.
Of course Regulus would never tell Sirius this.
Regulus wasn't mad at the boy for leaving- no matter what he'd said- he was mad for everything his brother did afterwards, throwing him away like last weeks garbage.
That's the part that hurt Regulus, although he'd never let it show- James knew though, James always knew.
James was skilled at reading what was unsaid, when it came to the Black brothers.
Regulus, however much he wanted to, wouldn't out James. No matter how much he wanted to rub it in Sirius' face- that for once someone didn't see Regulus as just a lesser Sirius.
Regulus stripped off his uniform down to his pants and button up.
He rolled up the sleeves to his elbows before undoing a button or two.
Regulus sighed looking into the standing mirror once more before heading out of the room.
The common room was empty, signaling dinner had started.
Regulus slipped into the Great Hall, catching the attention of most- much to his dismay.
He took a seat across from Ivan and Claudette, who quietly drank their pumpkin juice.
"We- uh made you a plate." Ivan said sending Regulus a smile.
"Thanks." Regulus said.
The entire dinner had been silent- which Regulus didn't entirely mind.
His brother’s gaze was on him- as well as James', but he didn't risk looking that way.
Instead, at the Slytherin table, the trio exchanged awkward smiles.
It wasn't the silence that Regulus hated, it was the reason they were silent that did.
"You two have been quiet", Regulus explained as the awkward dinner came to an end, "Wanna tell me why that is?"
Ivan and Claudette shared a look.
"Well we heard about..." Ivan started trailing off.
"We heard about the fight with your brother." Claudette finished with a slight frown.
Regulus sighed, "Great."
"We knew your family was bad, just.... not that bad." Ivan explained.
Regulus stood up.
"Where are you going?" Claudette started.
"Anywhere but here." Regulus muttered before moving over the bench and towards the exit.
"Oh come on, Regulus. We just want to talk." Ivan started as he and Claudette scrambled up and followed the small boy.
The couple swiftly caught up with him, falling into step.
"I don't want your pity." Regulus spat, more harsh than he'd intended.
"It’s not pity. It's just- we care about you, Regulus, whether you like it or not-" Claudette explained as her and Ivan stopped.
"I never asked you to care!", Regulus spat as he whipped around.
Here it was.
A trait that ran in the Black family- in his blood.
His was about to self destruct.
Because nothing ever stayed good for long when it came to Regulus.
He found a way to screw it up, one way or another.
"No one has ever cared about me and I've gotten this far without it! So I don't need your pity and I especially don't need you to care!" Regulus hissed.
"Don't be like that." Ivan spat.
"This is what I'm like! Haven't you heard?!" Regulus sneered, "My own brother- my blood- the boy who would rock me to sleep, looks at me and sees me for what I really am! A monster!"
Regulus felt dizzy, less oriented as he wobbled slightly
"You two", Regulus stumbled on his words- each one falling from his mouth as if the world had slowed, "Befriended the wrong brother. I always was the lesser version of Sirius...."
Regulus swallowed, his eyes growing heavy. He fought back with all his might- fruitlessly.
The world felt still as Regulus' eyes fluttered shut- his eyes rolling back into his head.
"Regulus!"
And then nothing.