Regulus Black: The Prequel

Regulus rested against a tree, out looking a field of yellow poppies. 

He hummed a soft melody as he read his book, enjoying his peace and quiet while it lasted. 

Which in Regulus' case did not last long. 

"It's a great song." 

Regulus practically jumped out of his skin. 

He thought he was far enough away from the castle to avoid any human contact. 

But there was no place too far for James Potter. 

Not only had he startled Regulus, but he heard Regulus humming and recognized the song. 

Regulus found himself growing bright red. 

The song was one James was constantly singing during their studying sessions.

And he'd caught Regulus singing it. 

Regulus wished he were dead. It would be less painful. 

"It's okay." Regulus shrugged, trying to play it cool. 

He regained himself, going back to reading in hopes that James would leave him alone. 

James, in fact, did not. 

Instead the older boy plopped down beside Regulus on the ground. 

"What are you reading?" James asked curiously as he playfully bumped Regulus' shoulder. 

Regulus sighed, accepting his presence, "The Grapes of Wrath."  

"Is it interesting?" James quizzed. 

"Hardly." Regulus admitted, with a huff.

"Why are you reading it then?" James chuckled. 

"Why does anybody do something they don't want to?" Regulus retorted. 

"Because they're scared of doing what they actually want." James muttered. 

Regulus' eyes flickered up to meet James'. 

His face was entirely too serious. 

Regulus hadn't expected such a deep answer from the boy, much less one at all. 

James' eyes flickered from his own to his lips. 

They were so close, so much closer than Regulus had realized. 

Maybe it was the alkaloids in the air from the poppies that they'd inhaled. 

Suddenly, to the surprise of both boys, Regulus' lips were on James'. 

Regulus had always been the one to think before acting and here he was acting in the moment and facing the consequences later. 

James' lips were as soft as they looked. 

He tasted like honey and faint cinnamon. 

Regulus' book was discarded somewhere around them. 

James' hands traveled up to Regulus' face, deepening the kiss. 

This was bad. 

This was so bad and Regulus knew it. 

He knew since the moment they crashed into each other in the library that day that James would wreak havoc. 

He knew it and he didn't stop. 

Because for once in his life he got the choice. 

When they pulled away for air, neither boy spoke. 

Instead in the moments that followed they stayed in their little bubble.

Regulus returned to reading his book and James just watched.

They were so fucked- and they both knew it. 

~

Things between Regulus and James were tense in the weeks following the holiday break. 

Neither boy mentioned the kiss, nor acted on those same desires since. 

Suddenly James was never around. 

Regulus went from seeing him everywhere, everyday- to seeing him no where. 

Maybe it was the best for both of them. 

Whatever was going on between them could have never actually become something. 

In another life maybe. 

One where Regulus wasn't the heir of The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. 

One where Regulus wasn't Sirius' little brother and James wasn't his best friend. 

One where Regulus and James were on the same side of the war.

Regulus didn't think too much about James' absence, he had many more things to worry about. 

Christmas was fast approaching, which meant going home, alone. 

This year would be the first Christmas without Sirius and Regulus was not in the slightest bit prepared.

Regulus scurried through the corridor. 

He couldn't be gone long or Evan and Barty would look for him.

The little gift was tucked into his pocket as he climbed the stairs of the astronomy tower. 

Remus was leant against the rail, looking out at the night sky. 

"Regulus." Lupin greeted, without even turning to look at the boy. 

"Remus." Regulus returned. 

Remus turned ever-so-slightly towards Regulus, "I suppose there's a reason you wanted to meet?"

He shuffled in his pocket before pulling out the gift wrapped box. 

Remus raised his eyebrows as he took the box.

"It's for Sirius." Regulus explained. 

He observed it. 

"There's no name." 

"I know", Regulus muttered, "He'd probably burn it if he knew." 

Remus didn't confirm or deny it, but they both knew.

"Just stick it under a tree or in those strange socks- whatever rituals you do." Regulus explained. 

"Okay." 

"Thanks, Lupin", Regulus muttered, "I- I owe you." 

He turned on his heels, just about to take a step. 

"You and James." 

Regulus froze. 

His face was emotionless as he looked over his shoulder.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Regulus quipped. 

"You owe me." Remus smirked knowingly. 

Regulus sighed, spinning around, "He tutors me, that's all." 

"Did you get into a fight? He seems so down lately." Remus quizzed. 

"We fight all the time, it's never bothered him before", Regulus shrugged, "Besides I haven't seen him in weeks."

Remus seemed to accept that answer. 

This time Regulus successfully hurried off. 

Why would James be down? It wasn't like Regulus was ignoring him. 

Regulus didn't try to understand all that was James Potter. 

He returned back to his dorm, being met with an empty room. 

He thanked Salazar. 

Regulus couldn't shake what Remus said from his mind. 

"He seems so down lately" 

Why was that his fault? Why did it feel like his fault?

Regulus didn't understand. He'd never read a book where one person was sad after a kiss. 

Maybe it was him. 

He tended to ruin all good things-

Regulus was knocked from his thoughts as Barty tossed him a small gift box. 

"What's this?" Regulus quizzed, observing the wrapped thing as he sat up in bed. 

"A gift." Barty jeered as he leaned against Regulus' bed post. 

"For what?" Regulus questioned, looking up at him. 

Barty gave him an unimpressed look, "Hanukkah- Christmas you, tosspot." 

"Since when do we get each other Christmas gifts?" Evan huffed, from his spot on the floor. 

He was pouting, only because he didn't get a gift. 

Barty just chucked a gift, that looked identical to Regulus', at Evan's head, so the boy would stop whining. 

Regulus tore open the wrapping to reveal a box of joints. 

"Sick!" Evan chuckled. 

"I don't smoke." Regulus muttered. 

"Believe me, you're gonna need it." Barry assured. 

Regulus opened his mouth to argue, but closed it. 

He didn't fight it. 

All three boys knew how rough the holidays would be. 

Regulus knew his parents would be in especially horrible moods as the anniversary of Sirius running away approached. 

If he had any sense, he'd stay at Hogwarts, but he was sure that'd anger his mother further.

The last thing Regulus wanted was to be around when she exploded.

Regulus sighed, "Thanks."

"Hey, I wouldn't worry about it too much", Evan assured, "We'll be seeing each other before we know it." 

Ah yes, the winter ball was always a joy.

Regulus was dreading it almost as much as going home for Christmas. 

The winter ball was where all the snobby pure bloods came together. 

It meant dressing up in uncomfortable clothes and pretending to like one another. 

Regulus was sure there would also be a lot of puppeteering going on as his parents attempted to find him a wife. 

At fifteen, no boy was thinking about a woman to marry and, in Regulus' case, a woman at all. 

Regulus had seen Sirius endure it for years and now he was gone. 

"Don't remind me." Regulus grimaced. 

"It can't be that bad." Barty insisted. 

"Oh it's bad", Evan chuckled, "You'll see." 

Barty was spending Christmas with Evan this year, which Regulus hoped meant he'd see them both more. 

"If I'm lucky, my only Christmas gift will be not getting my ass handed to me." Regulus huffed.

"You're always welcome to spend Christmas with my family, you know." Evan muttered. 

Regulus sighed as he fell back onto his bed. 

He stared up at the overhang of his bed and wondered just how in over his head he was. 

It was only two weeks, how bad could it get? 

Right?