Chapter 5 - The Duality of James Potter
Crickets were the only sound.
Their hums created such a beautiful melody.
They were the performers and the stars shone the spotlight.
James' breath was steady and calm.
Each exhale, gently pushed a tuft of hair from his eyes.
Regulus wondered if it was the alcohol talking- if he really knew what he was asking.
James probably wouldn't even remember their interaction.
The way Regulus' nimble fingers were still in his soft hair.
The way his head rested so perfectly in the dip of Regulus' shoulder.
The way Regulus' heart beat in tune with the crickets' melodies- although, maybe Regulus was the only one aware of that fact.
James probably wouldn't remember a thing.
"Do you ever-"
"Maybe you should stop asking questions." Regulus stopped him, not adding the 'before we both say something we regret' part he so desperately wanted to.
"You ask the questions then." James suggested.
By then the pair were sitting face to face, gazing into the other.
"Alright...", Regulus started after regaining himself under James' gaze, "Why aren't you with Lily Evans?"
There was a pause and then-
"Lily Evans doesn't make my heart race." James explained.
Regulus was slightly surprised, "No?"
"No."
Regulus grew weary as the atmosphere shifted.
It was so subtle and yet it was as drastic as life or death.
"Who makes your heart race?" Regulus asked, out of curiosity and nothing more.
James' hand had appeared out of nowhere, but suddenly it was grasping Regulus' wrist.
He brought Regulus' hand to his chest and Regulus could feel the boy's heart beating swiftly.
"You." He muttered, as if it was as simple as that.
It was not simple.
No.
They were not just two boys- they were opposites, enemies.
It could never happen because James was the golden boy and Regulus was the death eater.
"Do I make your heart race, Regulus?" James quizzed.
Regulus swallowed.
They'd gotten so close- so close their breaths mixed into one.
Regulus' hand was still on James' chest and their faces were so close and Regulus' heart was beating ten times too fast-
"You're drunk", Regulus choked out, jumping at the chance to put some space between them, "You should get some rest."
As fast as it had appeared, it was gone.
"Right." James muttered.
Regulus was practically wiping sweat from his forehead as he stood.
He helped James to his feet, though the boy wobbled, before guiding him all the way to the portrait.
"This is the part in the movie when they reach the front doorstep and kiss each other goodnight." James chuckled.
He was so drunk.
James even puckered up as if Regulus would kiss him goodnight.
Regulus scoffed, "In your dreams, Potter."
As he began walking away James called down the hall.
"Oh you definitely are!"
Regulus let a smile grow on his face.
He walked to the dungeons with the giddiest expression.
Which only meant one thing.
Regulus was screwed.
~
The next time Regulus ran into James was purely accidental.
Regulus had been walking around, with really no destination in mind.
The fresh air was supposed to help him deal with his own issues, but it seemed the universe had other plans.
Regulus had come to a stop at the sound of sniffling.
Curiosity got the best of him and before he knew it, he was peeking around the quidditch shed.
He could have run away.
He could have pretended he didn't see anything and gone on with his day.
"James?" Regulus quizzed.
The boy was in a pile on the ground. His glasses were between his fingertips.
James wiped across his face with his arm, before revealing red puffy eyes that glossed over with fresh tears.
Regulus was by his side before he could even comprehend the action himself.
"Are you alright?" Regulus asked worriedly.
The boy had been perfectly fine the last time Regulus had seen him.
The sudden change was hard for Regulus to swallow.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother anyone- it's just-", James paused before huffing a frustrated breath, "-I can't even tell you."
"That's okay." Regulus blurted out.
He was in no situation to be giving advice anyways.
Although, there was a part of him that was disappointed he couldn't know the truth- that he couldn't maim and kill whoever hurt James.
James' eyes sparkled as he stared at Regulus.
Regulus pushed down the wave of butterflies in his stomach at the boy's gaze as he lifted his hand to place it on James' shoulder, comfortingly.
Although Regulus' hand never made it to James' shoulder because the boy crashed into his chest.
For a while they just stayed there. Regulus letting James cry into his chest and holding him.
Regulus would admit- even though the circumstances were not that great- he wanted to be that close to James, always.
James clung onto him like a lifeline as Regulus traced soothing shapes into his back.
It took Regulus a second to realize what he'd been doing, but it took James less.
Sirius used to do the same for Regulus whenever he couldn't sleep.
Regulus didn't stop. He didn't push James away- he didn't pry.
He didn't bring up the other night in the tower.
Neither did James.
Regulus wondered if he remembered.
Maybe it was a good thing if he didn't.
But then Regulus would have to suffer knowing there had been a moment between them.
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry." James muttered as he pulled back, wiping his face.
Regulus gently grabbed his face to hold him still.
"Shhhh... it's okay." Regulus assured.
He had no idea what had gotten into himself.
"I know, but I didn't want to make anyone else upset." James mumbled.
"You're human, James. It's okay for you to not always be your same ball of sunshine." Regulus assured.
"What if people only like me when I'm happy?" James frowned.
"Then they're not worth your time." Regulus explained.
Regulus let his thumb wipe away the freshly fallen tear from James' face.
"I like you." Regulus assured.
"Even with snot on my face?" James quizzed.
Regulus chuckled, "Even then."