Dear Regulus
“Dear Regulus,
I loved you first. Did you know that? I remember the first time that we met. I’d skipped breakfast because Anna and I had a fight, I was sitting by the lake when you came over. I remember thinking ‘oh god that's Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother, the Slytherin.’ I thought you were going to say something nasty to me. Slytherins and Gryffindors don’t exactly have the best track record but instead you said ‘do you want some toast?’. I was bewildered that I just took it and then you sat down on the freezing ground beside me and asked if I would tutor you in charms. I stuttered out ‘why’, I couldn’t understand why you’d ask me when we’d never spoken more than two words to each other but you just shrugged and said that Flitwick had said I was the best at charms in the whole school. I accepted more out of confusion than anything else and sometimes I wish more than anything that I’d told you to piss off and never spoken to you again. Because now my heart breaks a little bit every single time that you look at me, it aches for the love that we never had. I think I fell in love with you a little bit right there and then at the lake. There was something underneath your demeanour, something deeper in your silver eyes that I knew was just waiting to be pulled to the surface.
I still love you. Even now. Even though you and Anna have been dating for five months. It’s not fair, I met you first, it was supposed to be us but how could you not love her? She’s everything that I'm not and I see the way that you are together. I feel evil for feeling this way when you make her so happy, when she makes you so happy.
So I release you, I expel you from my heart like a bad curse. I refuse to love you any longer Regulus Arcturus Black because it isn’t fair to any of us. I will no longer think about the way that your hair curls when it’s wet and the way your nose creases when you smile. I will no longer think about how your unparalleled wit and the way that you make me laugh. We’re friends, we’ll always be just friends. One day I will sit at your wedding to Anna and I will clap and cheer and say a pretty speech and it will all be real. One day this love will be but an ember that once touched my skin, long long ago.
Always and forever,
Y/N L/N
Ps. I still love you, why do I still love you?”