It never changed, he never changed. Evan was tired of it, but he always came back. His eyes glossed over as he stared at the boy locking lips with some 6th year slytherin girl. She ran her fingers through his hair and he pulled her closer by her slim waist. All Evan could think was 'why not me?'
Why wouldn't he touch him like he touched her and nearly every other 6th and 7th year girl at hogwarts, in the daylight? Why couldn't his heart ache like Evan's did? Why couldn't he love Evan like Evan loved him? Merlin he barley got as much as a "bro hug" when others, minus their friends, were around.
He knew that it was partly because of his bestfriend's father and he understood that but Barty had been acting out of the ordinary recently. He itched to remove Barty's father from the equation, make him pay for everything he ever did to Barty. To hold the boy and keep him safe, heal all his gaping wounds. Right now however, he urged to step in and pull the taller away from the girl and kiss his lips until they bruised.
It had always been the two of them. Barty was the match that lit his flame, the chaos in his peace, and Evan wouldn't have it any other way. They had an oath only spoken about at the darkest, quietest, most vulnerable hours of the night to never leave each other's side.
They swore to it.
Maybe it was him, Evan had thought. Maybe he had changed and Barty was disgusted by him. Maybe he had become boring to the younger boy. Maybe he had lost his charm that he never truly believed was there. Maybe he should apologize, for what exactly, he's not sure yet. Who is he kidding the day he apologizes to Bartemius Crouch Jr over anything is the day the world will end.
Despite all that, the boy still had such a strong unyielding hold on his heart. Merlin spare him his indignity, won't you. Give him the decency and give him a sign if it's time to walk away. He should be done, through with Barty's shit, but he can never bring his heart to remove himself from the situation. And Evan can feel it breaking him apart, but he always stays.
Evan's mind stops reeling for merely a second as he comes back to reality. He locks eyes with Barty, an expression appears on the brown haired boy's face that Evan doesn't have the words to explain. So he does what he does best, he turns around and he bolts.
He can here Barty call his name, "Ev, wait", but he keeps going. What is he waiting for anyway, the looming rejection that comes with being Barty Crouch Jr's fuck buddy?
Nothing's new
Nothing's New
It started in the beginning of 5th year. A gryffindor party that ended in drunk sex. Evan had yearned for Barty long before that he just never had the courage to do anything about it. He didn't want to ruin what they had as friends for selfish feelings. So he pretended it meant nothing.
He relished in every little touch, a flame burning his skin. And if Barty had been fire, he wouldn't ever mind getting burned. With this, you could consider Evan a masochist for many reasons. He knew Barty didn't see him as anything more than a friend he got to mess around with from time to time, and he knew Barty didn't like blokes. But he always came back. So maybe he was weak, or hopeless but he wasn't naïve.
He was well aware of the situation he had put himself in, and well aware of the consequences. However, the worst part was, he would never let anyone but Barty get him into this position. It had always been Barty and it was always going to be Barty.
Before he knew it he was in the dungeons on his way to their shared dorm. He was hoping and praying Regulus was out. And for once those prayers had been answered. He went straight to the bathroom locking the door behind him with a flick of his wand. He ran his fingers through his curly ash blond hair sliding down the wooden brown door finally allowing the tears to fall. He couldn't stop himself from letting out a pained cry as the image of Barty snogging that girl had entered his head.
Nothing's new, nothing's new
It never changed.
Nothing's new, nothing's new
And he would fall for it every time
Nothing's new, nothing's new
Maybe that made him a fool.
Nothing's new, nothing's new
But, Merlin, if he wasn't a fool for Barty
Nothing's new
He heard the door to the dorm swing open and he flinched.
Nothing's new
A voice he would recognize if it was in a different language and played backwards was calling his name.
Nothing's new, nothing's new
He let out a silent sob.
Nothing's new...
"Ev. . .please"
Barty could open the door with his eyes closed, hands tied behind his back, and fingers cut off they both knew it. But he didn't, he wanted Evan to let him in.
Evan wanted to be done, wanted to scream at him to go away. He wanted him to save him the humiliation and let him walk away (even though he knew he never would). He wanted Barty to just give it to him straight and reject him for good. To let them fall apart because they were already breaking. Though he knew the man would never do that, and if he did he'd never leave.
Pandora had told him time and time again that fate would work itself out, and so maybe he was a fool for believing her. But, it wouldn't change, he wouldn't change, and Evan would always come back.
nothing's new
Nothing's new