Recommencez
No one spoke on the drive—not at first. Remus had tumbled into the backseat with Sirius, not willing to waste a single second of their time together. He still felt that once they left the bubble of Mont Blanc and went back to reality, all that had transpired there would melt away as surely as the snow in summer.
James hadn’t even switched the radio on, and so they were sitting in absolute silence. It was bloody oppressive. Remus slid his eyes over to Sirius, who was leaning against the back of the seat, his face stricken. He hadn’t let go of Remus’s hand since they’d gotten into the car.
“What was it you said to him, back there?” Remus murmured, stroking his thumb along the back of Sirius’s hand.
“Hmm?” Sirius intoned absentmindedly.
“Regulus,” Remus prompted. “You spoke to him in French.”
“Oh, ouais. ‘Jesuisdésolé,’” Sirius said.
Remus’s heart skipped a beat. Why was Sirius speaking French so sexy? (Admittedly, Sirius doing anything was sexy…)
“Er, you know, sweetheart, I don’t speak French, so…” he trailed off, still barely above a whisper.
“It means I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered back.
Remus wasn’t sure why they were even bothering to whisper. The car was a damned tomb and James had clearly heard—he had stiffened in the driver’s seat.
“Why,” James asked flatly.
Sirius cleared his throat, arching a brow. “Hm?” he hummed again.
“Why did you say you were sorry, Sirius? What happened?” James asked.
Sirius sighed, dragging a hand over his face and then through his hair.
“Because, mate, he said he was falling for you,” Sirius said.
Remus’s eyes met James’s in the rearview.
“Fuck,” James said, slamming his hand on the steering wheel. “Fuck, fuck, buggery fucking fuck.”
Sirius and Remus exchanged an alarmed glance.
“James?” Remus asked.
James sighed heavily.
“Oh, you know, don’t mind me, fucking shit up entirely over here,” James said. “I did have a fucking chance?!”
Remus wasn’t sure he had ever heard James swear at all, let alone so much in the span of two sentences.
“James,” he said softly, leaning forward to place a hand on James’s shoulder, “it’s all right, really.”
“It’s not.”
Sirius bit his lip, looking torn—and Remus didn’t envy him that, being caught between his best friend and his brother.
“I think it’s all gone on a bit long enough, if you ask me,” Sirius blurted in his darling little posh accent that made Remus swoon.
“Excuse me?” James said, glaring at Sirius in the rearview.
“Only that Regulus obviously fell for you—he may be a bit prickly, but he doesn’t go all in with, well, anyone,” Sirius said, lifting his chin defiantly in protection of his brother. “And you, James—was this fling with my brother to get over Lily?”
“Sirius!” James was aghast. “How could you?”
“It doesn’t matter, James, the point is, now you care for Regulus,” Remus interjected.
“I cared about him the whole bloody time,” James muttered. “I wouldn’t’ve just done that to get over some girl I’d never even been out with, especially not with Reg.”
Sirius smirked.
“Well then,” Sirius said, releasing Remus’s hand so he could cross his arms over his chest. “It seems like now all you have to do is get him to talk to you.”
*****
James was in the back of the quaint coffee shop he ran with Sirius (and now Remus). In the couple of weeks since they had been back from their holiday in France, Sirius and Remus had settled into an easy relationship. Sirius was crashing at James’s for now, but he reckoned it wouldn’t be long until Sirius and Remus found a place of their own. He smiled to himself thinking about it. Sirius was usually so hands off about everyone, and seeing the way he so casually, so comfortably would drag a hand over Remus’s waist as he passed by, or stand up for a quick kiss, seemed so natural. James felt that his best friend deserved all the happiness in the world, and Remus Lupin was a brilliant fit.
Thinking about it too much made his mind wander to a certain dark-haired, sullen someone, and he blew his fringe out of his face, squinting slightly at the clipboard in front of him. He was taking inventory of the shop, which had been doing quite well thanks to some marketing suggestions by Sirius (who knew hosting midweek open mics would bring such success?) and the addition of cinnamon hot cocoa with extra whipped cream as a featured menu item.
Remus came into the back, eyes bright and face flustered.
“Rem, if you’re coming back here to snog Sirius, please wait until I’m finished,” James quipped, looking back at his clipboard.
“James, it’s Regulus,” Remus said.
James felt himself pale, begin to sweat profusely, and flush what was sure to be a brilliant shade of red.
“He—here?”
Remus nodded fervently. “I don’t know what kind of wizard Sirius is, but he coaxed him here somehow.”
James nodded, mouth agape.
“He probably doesn’t think you’re here.”
James snapped his mouth shut, spinning to look at Remus, instantly offended.
“Hey, it’s probably true,” Remus smirked, holding his hands up placatingly. “But why don’t I take this,” he plucked the clipboard from James’s hand, “and this,” as he grabbed the pen,” and you can go out and see him, yeah?”
James nodded, barely able to swallow, and pushed through the curtains and down the little hall to the front of the shop.
The grey sky outside was bright after the dim of the back and James squinted against the glass storefront, shifting his eyes instead to the dark wood interior, to Sirius bent in half over the counter, leaning over on his forearms, the sleeves of his white button up rolled up and a grin on his face, directed towards—
Regulus.
He looked incredible—all black everything, of course, his pea coat buttoned against the cold, a pair of green headphones pulled down around his neck. He was scowling down at the cup that Sirius had just passed him, using one of the tiny bev naps to wipe the top of the lid.
Sirius chuckled. “Such a fussy little germophobe you are, Reg.”
Regulus lifted his eyes, glaring at Sirius from under his lashes. The face was so unnecessarily threatening that it was somehow adorable and James couldn’t help it—he laughed out loud, one quick chuckle. That was enough, though. Regulus and Sirius both turned their attention towards James.
Regulus froze for a moment, then looked down at the counter. He lifted his book (James longed to know what he was reading, what he was listening to on those headphones) and his drink (James would have bet all the money in his account that he knew what was in that cup) from the counter.
“Thank you, Sirius,” he said stiffly. “I will see you another time.”
“Reg—” Sirius tried.
Regulus lifted his headphones and clapped them over his ears, over his carefully tousled curls, and then turned to exit the shop, taking James’s heart in the process.
James reached out a hand to brace himself against the wall, feeling pretty bloody awful that Regulus couldn’t even stand to be in the same space with him. The opening notes of an acoustic song interrupted the soft indie playlist they’d had playing, and James knit his brow, placing the familiar remedy—“Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop”—and looked over to see Sirius hastily pulling his hands away from the music.
“Bit on the nose, yeah?” James said, narrowing his eyes.
“Go on then,” Sirius said, gesturing grandly towards the display window where Regulus was passing.
Without pausing to think too deeply about what was going to happen, James took off into the cold, heading in the same direction as Regulus, who was nearly halfway down the block—clearly on a mission. He sprinted up to him, reaching out his arm and catching Regulus on the sleeve of his wool coat.
Regulus turned, looking appalled and concerned, before relaxing his features into a look of disdain once he realized he wasn’t about to be attacked.
“Headphones,” James mouthed, gesturing pulling imaginary ones off of his own ears.
Regulus rolled his eyes, sliding the headset over the back of his head. James could hear the blare of classical violin sounding tinnily from the little speakers.
“What is it, James?” Regulus said, that perfect upper class pronunciation matching his haughty demeanor. Somehow he managed to look down on James in spite of James being several inches taller.
“Er—” James felt his mind go blank.
“Things didn’t work out with Lily after all?”
“Regulus—there—there was nothing to work out,” James sputtered. “I just—she—it was nothing, Regulus, nothing.”
Regulus sniffed against the cold, giving James a look that said he didn’t believe a word of it.
“Regulus, look, I’m doing my level best here,” James was mildly annoyed. “Just hear me out, yeah?”
Regulus, always composed, drew himself up even straighter, jutting his chin out and pursing his lips. He waved one elegant hand impatiently.
“Enthrall me then, James.”
“I had a crush on Lily—that’s it. Just a harmless, feckless schoolboy crush. It was part of our routine—she came in every day for coffee, I flirted and asked her out, she pretended to hate me, and we did it again the next day. I never expected that she would actually do anything about it, not really. And we both agreed that the kiss meant nothing.”
“Oh good, glad you both figured that out,” Regulus snapped, the color high on his cheeks the only sign that his carefully composed mask of indifference was slipping.
James looked into his eyes and saw all the ways that he had hurt him dancing in the watercolour shades of storm cloud grey and ocean blue and sea glass green.
“Jesuisdésolé,” James murmured, repeating the phrase Sirius had taught him—though sounding nothing near as smooth as Sirius had.
Regulus’s brows softened, and for the first time he wasn’t looking at James as if he utterly despised him.
“Regulus, I meant it when I said that you make me feel something—you’re as beautiful as the art you described, and I got completely lost in you back in Mont Blanc. I knew you were confused, and you were just being so cold, and I went outside to think for a moment. I thought maybe you’d changed your mind, that you regretted it—because of the way your family is, or because I’m Sirius’s best mate, or just because you found me wanting somehow, but… You’ve completely bewitched me, Regulus,” James breathed. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you since that day we first arrived, and I never in my wildest dreams thought I stood a chance, and I know I’ve mucked it all up, but—”
“Oh, do shut up,” Regulus said.
James thought his heart had broken, but as he was feeling it plummet to somewhere around his feet, he knew that he was wrong before. No, this, this was infinitely worse. He’d had a chance to share his feelings, and it was all for naught.
Regulus’s perfectly shaped brows came together over his straight nose, seemingly perplexed at James’s reaction.
“James Potter,” Regulus said.
James sighed, blinking somewhat aggressively behind his glasses.
“What?” he said thickly.
“Do you know,” Regulus began. “Do you know that I am quite utterly besotted by you?”
“What?” James said again, a laugh bubbling up like an overly effervescent glass of sparkling wine.
Regulus smiled softly, rolling his eyes and releasing a sigh, as if he couldn’t believe it himself.
“Yes, you foolish sunshine of a man, yes,” Regulus said. “I have tried my absolute damnedest to despise you, but it seems to be entirely impossible.”
He stepped closer to James, looking up at him from under his thick fringe of dark lashes. He bit his lip.
“I—I’m really happy to hear that,” James said, somewhat unnecessarily considering the enormous grin erupting across his face.
He took two steps and enfolded Regulus in his arms, leaning down to kiss him. He hesitated, searching Regulus’s eyes, making sure he wasn’t off base somehow. Regulus threw his arms around his neck, clocking James in the back of the head with the book he was still clutching, and pressed his mouth to James’s. He kissed James like James was the air that he needed to breathe, winding his free hand in James’s hair and melting into the contours of his body. They stood there, completely ignorant of the passersby, as they dissolved into one another.
A loud whoop from down the sidewalk broke them out of their reverie, and James pulled back, a half smile playing on his lips as he looked at Regulus, at the stars in his eyes as he licked his lips, blushing bashfully. They both turned as one to see Sirius standing outside of the coffee shop, bouncing on his boots and clapping, and Remus casually leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest and legs crossed at the ankles, looking like the cat that got the cream.
James shrugged one shoulder, smiling over at them until he felt a little tug of impatience on his shirt front. Regulus raised his eyebrows speculatively, and suddenly James found that he was a bit too preoccupied to care about much beyond kissing the beautiful person in his arms.
Fin.