Chapter 7
Regulus wobbled through the train. The lights blurred along with everything else around him.
If he focused he could make out the person in front of him.
He was gonna throw up.
Regulus couldn't breathe too deep or the immense stabbing pain would wash over him.
He couldn't breathe or stand up too fast or sit down too fast or walk.
Regulus couldn't tell if the train was moving or if his center of gravity was also fucked.
He didn't even see the hands, couldn't even fight back if he wanted.
The door of the compartment shut and he was being pulled into a hug.
Regulus let out a pained cry at the action. The pain was so intense it brought tears to his eyes.
The figure pulled back quickly and really looked at how sick Regulus looked.
A hand was pressed gently against his forehead before settling on his cheek.
Their thumb traced the outline of the ugly bruise Regulus had, which was the least of his concerns.
Honestly he wouldn't care about it at all if it weren't so noticeable.
"Reggie..."
Regulus knew that voice, Merlin he'd played it over in his mind hundreds of times over the summer.
He focused, squinting as hard as he possible, and could just make out the round rim of his glasses.
"Jamie." Regulus breathed.
The action made the room spin and shut his eyes to keep from vomiting.
Regulus opened his eyes and was met with darkness.
No.
No he'd left.
He shivered, not feeling the chill, but knowing it was there.
The room was damp, always damp. Regulus probably had pneumonia, but there was nothing he could do
It was pitch black in the basement and his eyes hadn't yet adjusted.
The ground was hard beneath him as he curled into himself.
"I wanna go home." Regulus cried, buried his face in his arms.
"Reggie."
Regulus shot up, gasping.
He was on the seat then, not remembering having moved to sit down.
A hand rested on his back and Regulus turned his head.
"James." Regulus practically cried.
He was home. He was with James.
"Shhhhh, it's alright. You're okay." James assured.
He guided Regulus to lay back down in his lap and gently scratched at the boy's scalp.
"I got you", James muttered, "You're not there anymore."
Regulus tried to calm down, breathing as well as he could.
"Where does it hurt, love?" James quizzed softly.
James' mum was a healer so he knew a thing or two, but not enough.
Even though Regulus was in pain, James didn't trust himself not to make things worse for the boy.
"My ribs", Regulus croaked, "And my head."
James began massaging Regulus head, in hopes of reducing some of the pain.
"Rest", James muttered softly, "Gonna take you to Madam Pomfrey and make it all better.”
Regulus let his heavy lids rest and focused on James' touch.
When he came to again, it was less of a startle.
His eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the darkness of the room.
The bed was soft beneath him and the covers warmed him beyond what he'd dreamed of all summer.
He took a deep breath and didn't keel over in pain.
It was so nice to breathe again.
"How are you feeling?"
Regulus turned his head to where James sat, looking tired and soft, in the chair beside his bed.
He could actually see the boy.
James had gotten a haircut and he was still tan from all his summer fun.
"Better." Regulus muttered, truthfully.
His headache was gone and the stabbing pain was merely a dull ache then.
James stood up to be closer to Regulus, brushing the hair from the younger boy's forehead.
"Good. That's really good." James muttered, mustering up a smile.
It was fake.
Regulus knew it was fake and it was unsettling, upsetting something deep in his chest.
"Can we- can we talk about it?" James asked after the brief silence.
"What is there to talk about?" Regulus whispered.
It was a reflex. Regulus never spoke about what he endured in that house.
It'd taken years for him to briefly explain it to his roommates and even then it was only the bare minimum.
"Christmas- After the break you- your wrist. And this", James started, "He swore you- Regulus, does she hurt you?"
Regulus swallowed.
Did she hurt him?
Hurt wasn't good enough. Hurt was just the surface.
Regulus' mother had bled him dry. She rewired his brain in ways he'd have to live with. She took his courage and his dignity and his will.
There was so much Regulus could say- so much he should.
But he opened his mouth-
"I can take it."
And James shattered into a million pieces right in front of his eyes.
"I thought- I thought you were her favorite", James quipped, "I never thought-"
"Favorite?", Regulus scoffed incredulously, "She's still mad he left. I can't leave my room without reminding her of Sirius. I can't eat, I can't walk or talk."
James' head fell into Regulus' lap in despair.
"That's horrible." James cried.
Regulus frowned. He didn't want to upset James- he didn't want to upset anyone, that's why he never talked about it.
When James lifted his head, his glasses were crooked and his eyes were shiny with tears.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now, with you", Regulus assured, "So everything is perfect."
He scooted over, patting the space beside him.
James climbed into the bed and curled into Regulus' side.
Regulus ran his fingers through James's hair and they laid there perfectly still.
Neither boy said a word.
James' tears soaked into Regulus' shirt.
Everything was okay, and yet nothing was.
When Regulus woke again, James was gone.
He'd figured as much.
They could pretend all they wanted, but all their problems still lingered.
Regulus didn't think about it too much. He was really just glad to get any time with James.
The curtain opened slightly and Remus appeared.
"Figured I'd see you here", Remus muttered, "How are you doing?"
"Better." Regulus admitted.
Remus approached the bed.
"I've got quite a few scars myself", Remus offered, "If you ever need to talk about it, I'd listen."
Regulus mustered up a smile.
"Thanks", He breathed, "But there's not much to say."
"Ah yes, forgot for a moment that you Blacks loathe talking about feelings." Remus teased.
Regulus chuckled, "You'd be surprised."
Remus stayed for a while and kept Regulus company, talking about the books he’d read and things he’d done over the summer.
Regulus quite enjoyed his company, realizing why his brother was so fond.
After a bit, Remus returned to his own bed and Regulus was alone with his thoughts.
He was glad to be back in the castle again.
Regulus thought about everything he wanted to do with James- everything he’d get to do with the boy now that they were together again.
He dozed off dreaming about the boy with circle glasses- his boy.