Meliorism

-------------------------------------------------------Delphini POV-------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting on a bench in the courtyard reading a book for Defence Against the Dark Arts. It was boring, we were learning about Bow truckles, which if you ask me, are very boring magical creatures. The only interesting thing about them is that they could pick locks, which I thought was pretty boring considering Andy and Sirius could do it with hair pins. They learnt how to do it for when Mother and Father lock Regulus and I in the family vault. I used to be very scared of the dark so it’s pretty scary…the starvation didn’t help either. I hated the feeling of starvation. It hurt. A lot. But mother said it made me look better, prettier in my dresses. She also said it was a punishment, and when I misbehave, when I'm too loud, when I'm anything but perfect, then I don't deserve to eat...maybe she's right, maybe I don't deserve to eat. My mind flashed back to a few mornings earlier.

~

I had woken up later than usual. I had slept bad that night so I was already late. I quickly got up and got dressed. I was going to get breakfast but I was running low on time. 'no need to eat' I told myself 'besides, this is your punishment for not waking up on time'

I went through first and second period hungry.

When lunch rolled around, I wasn't hungry, well that's what I told Mary and Arya. My punishment wasn't up, a day without food, that would do it, that's punishment for waking up late, besides I didn't really need the extra food. I had only been at hogwarts for a few weeks and I was already gaining weight, between not doing much besides walking around campus and studying, as well as eating 3 meals a day, I had put on a kilogram already.

I didn't eat at dinner that night

~

Speaking of Regulus, it had been a week since he had told me, and for some reason…I wasn’t surprised. It was like I already knew. It was strange, you know, that feeling. It was like Déjà vu. This wasn’t the first time it had happened. I mean, things had happened, and it felt like I was re-living it. I didn’t know why. One time I tried to tell my mother about it, but she just said I was being stupid and imagining things, but she also tole me to not tell anyone. That I was crazy, and if people knew it would shun the family name.

It felt strange, her not wanting me to talk about it, but I mean it makes sense, no one would respect the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black if they thought we were crazy.

I stood up and began walking to my common room when I saw Barty, Regulus, and Evan. Evan was sort of laughing and Reg was dragging Barty, he had blood spilling out of his head.

I guess I just stood there in shock for a minute, I mean I was used to seeing Regulus and Sirius, even sometimes Bella, Andy, and Cissa hurt, but not Barty. Never Barty.

Regulus ignored me, pulling Barty past.

“hey princess,” Barty said with a smirk, while being dragged.

“What did you do this time, oh Merlin, what? Are you alright?” I blurted out, catching up with them.

“I fell” he said with a straight face.

“Infirmary. Now.” I said, a sound of power and authority in my voice.

I sounded like my mother, that surprised me, I didn’t know I could speak in that kind of tone. I don’t want to be able to talk in that kind of tone. I wanted every part of her gone. I wanted to find what made me similar to her and carve it out of me and set it on fire, watching it burn, watching every part of her that I see in myself burn. Until I’m bleeding everywhere, red blood spilling out of me onto the floor. All that pain. All that blood. Until I can say that I’m not her, and I will never be her, not now, not ever. I wished I could, I so utterly wished I could. But she was my mother, and I knew that no matter what I did, I would always be like her, and that. That scared me. But what scared me more is that I knew that I could do it. I could and I would cut out every part of her that I saw in myself. Hell I already chopped off my hair. The hair that she forced me to have. The hair that made people go, 'oh she looks so much like her mother!' I didn't want to look like her, or be like her, or have anything to do with her for that matter.