Moonage Daydream

Remus, James and Sirius sat on the cold grass while Peter stood at the edge of the black lake practicing a water bubble charm. Remus had his history paper in front of him, groaning as he tried to finish the assignment. “Bloody hell, this is hard to watch,” Sirius grabbed the parchment from Remus’ hands. “I’m going to help you. You owe me later.” Remus blinked at Sirius while he started writing parts of Remus’ paper. 

“Er, thank you.” Remus looked over Sirius’ shoulder while he worked.

“Guys!” Peter shouted and started running over with a water bubble floating with him. “Guys! Look what I found!” Peter directed his wand to position the bubble in front of the three boys. Inside the bubble was a small goldfish swimming around. “It’s a fish!”

“What the hell?” James muttered and leaned forward to look at the fish. “What was that doing in the black lake?” 

“I have no idea. I’m keeping him. Do we have a bowl?”

“We can probably get one,” Remus suggested, reaching forward to poke the bubble.

“Don’t! You’ll pop it!” Peter moved the bubble out of reach. “This is my son now.”

“Does your son have a name?” Sirius asked.

“Uh, Peter the second?”

“Absolutely not!” James interrupted. “You can’t name the fish after yourself, that’s child abuse.”

“Tell that to half my family,” Sirius scoffed.

“I will. Pete, pick a different name.”

“Goldy?” The suggestion was met with more noises of protest. “Okay, fine, what do you suggest?”

“What about Mango?” Remus hummed. “Mango’s a good name.”

“Ugh, no. Not Mango.” Sirius shook his head. “Call him Vincent. That’s a good name.”

“I pity your future kids. Vincent? Seriously?” James scoffed. “He looks like an Anthony.”

“You all are terrible at this.” Peter shook his head. “I’m going to put him in our room.”

~.~

Remus made his way to the Whomping Willow, escorted by Madame Pomfrey. She squeezed his shoulder before letting him go. Remus tried to distract himself by singing the lyrics to one of his songs. The transformation hit him hard, he was still on the floor with his stomach churning by morning. His head was pounding, and he could faintly register the scratches on his body. He moved slowly to grab his clothes, barely able to lift himself off the ground.

“Remus?” Madame Pomfrey announced herself as she came into the shack. She hurried to his side and grabbed his clothes for him. “Do you want help?” Remus shook his head and started to get dressed. He whimpered with the motions before lying back down on the floor. “Here, it’s okay, honey.” Madame Pomfrey waved her wand over Remus, muttering a spell to numb his pain until she could get him back to the infirmary. She gently smoothed Remus’ hair back. “Let’s get you back and you can rest.”

Madame Pomfrey helped Remus to his feet, holding him up while they walked. Remus’ legs were shaky with pins and needles. She kept asking him questions, how was he feeling, how bad was his pain, did he remember much from the night before. Remus did his best to answer everything she asked. “I’m going to go to class,” Remus muttered. “I should.”

“Rest first. I’ll take care of it if you need to miss it.” Madame Pomfrey led him to a bed. Remus sunk into the covers, promptly falling asleep.  

Remus went through his day in a tired daze. Sirius kept bugging him about where he was for breakfast. Remus tried to shake him off, he found himself already in bed shortly after dinner and abandoned the boys in the common room. He stirred when James climbed onto his bed. “You’ve formed a bad habit,” Remus muttered.

“Sirius doesn’t complain.”

“Then go bother him.”

“No.” James pulled back the covers and got underneath with Remus. “At least not tonight, I’ll bother him tomorrow.”

“Don’t steal my blankets.”

“Shush, it’s fine. I have a question.”

Remus groaned, finally opening his eyes to look at James. He could barely make out his features in the dark. “What is it?”

“You disappear at least one night a month,” James started. Remus' stomach dropped. He lifted himself to his elbows to stare intently at James. “Does it have to do with that thing about being trans?” His voice dropped to a small whisper when he asked. “Like, is it that monthly thing I keep hearing about?”

Remus chuckled and the tension left his shoulders. “Yeah. Sure, it is. Promise not to say anything?”

“Lips are sealed.”

“Grand. Now get out of my bed.” Remus shoved James’ shoulder and shoved his face into his pillow. 

~.~

Remus and Sirius put the final touches on the prank in the owlery while James and Peter made sure no one came up. It was early, the sun was barely starting to come up.

“Hey, Remus?” Sirius hummed.

“What’s up?”

“You and James were up late last night, right?” 

Remus looked up from his task. “Yeah, so what?” 

“What were you talking about?” Sirius stared at Remus like he was studying him. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Remus sighed, finishing what he was doing. “It wasn’t really anything.” 

“If it’s not anything then you won’t mind telling me,” Sirius pressed. 

“Sirius,” Remus warned.

“Remus. Come on, just tell me.”

He narrowed his eyes at Sirius. “Drop it.”

“Keeping secrets from the rest of us, eh Remus? You can tell me.”

“Sirius. No, you don’t get to know. I might’ve told you before but now you definitely don’t get to know,” he huffed. 

Sirius frowned. “Fine.” He pushed past Remus and left the owlery. Remus rolled his eyes and followed Sirius out. The boys hurried back to the dorms underneath James’ invisibility cloak. They got dressed, Sirius still didn’t talk to Remus. He shook his head at the other boy’s childish behaviour and hurried to the Great Hall for breakfast. 

Remus found a seat next to Lily. Peter, James and Sirius joined them as well. Remus leaned over to whisper to Lily, “When the mail gets here, cover your food.”

She gave him a quizzical look. “What did you do?” Remus flashed a cheeky smile and put a finger to his lips. The owls poured in to drop the mail, the four boys and Lily quickly covered their food as clouds of glitter poured over the students' heads. A mix of groans and giggles could be heard throughout the hall. Lily scoffed and huffed “Seriously? Glitter?”

“What? It’s harmless,” Remus laughed. She shook her head at him while he smiled brightly. He shook the glitter out of his hair, causing it to fall on his robes. “No one got hurt.”

“Just their food,” Lily tisked. “Alright, I’m heading to class, see you during free period?”

“Yep.”

“You’ve got a date?” James teased. 

“Bugger off. We’re just studying together.”

“You could have asked one of us to help you study,” Sirius hummed, crossing his arms.

“I’ll ask you next time.” Remus got to his feet. “I’m off, see you in class.” 

~.~

Remus met Lily at one of the picnic tables outside. He dropped his book bag on top of it with a groan, “Yay, Magical Creatures.”

“You don’t think it’s fun?” Lily hummed, pulling out her books. “Some of these things are really cool.” She flipped to the chapter on centaurs, their latest lesson to cover. Remus shrugged. The books were clinical. Magical Creatures didn’t have the grace of humanity, it didn’t matter how close to human they might have been. “It’s too bad we don’t have more information.”

“Walk into the forest and ask them then.”

Lily glanced up at Remus. “Could you imagine me in the forbidden forest?”

Remus snorted. “No.”

“Exactly. You and the rest of the troublemakers can sneak into the forest, I’ll wait for when you find yourself in detention.” Remus’ eyes lit up. “No. No. Don’t you dare. I didn’t tell you to do that. You’ll get yourself killed.”

“We might not.” Remus shrugged. “What better way to learn about everyone that lives there?”

“Books. Start reading.”

Remus stuck his tongue out at her before turning to his reading. A shadow fell over his book. Severus stood over the two. “Christ, are you a ghoul?”

Severus glared at Remus. He casted a smile at Lily. “Come on, it’s free period, we should go.”

“I’m helping Remus study. You can join us,” she offered. 

Severus shook his head and moved to grab Lily’s arm. “You don’t have to help the charity case, I’m sure he’s capable on his own.”

Remus met Severus with a glare, standing up from the table. “Listen, sit if you want. But you don’t get to drag Lily away.”

“I’m not dragging her away. It’s not my problem if you’re so inept you can’t even do your work on your own.”

“Sit down or piss off, pick one,” Remus spat.

Severus stared at Lily, expecting her to go with him. “I promised to help Remus with his work,” she said.

He scoffed. “Fine.” Severus stalked off. 

Lily sighed as Remus sat back down. “You don’t have to be so snappy with him.”

“He was being a jerk.”

“He’s still my friend.”

“Why? He’s such an asshole to everyone, did you hear how he talked to us just now?”

“Okay, yes, he was kind of rude but so were you! You and Sirius are always trying to antagonize him! When have you ever tried to be nice to him?”

“When has he ever been nice?”

“Do you want to study alone?” she threatened.

Remus met Lily’s glare, her green eyes piercing him. He looked back down at his textbook, pursing his lips. She had a worse glare than his mother. “No. Sorry. Can we study now?”

“Yes. We can.”

~.~

Remus met Rowan on the quidditch pitch, his stomach fluttering around, and his palms felt sweaty. Rowan Otters flashed that brilliant smile at Remus when he handed him one of the school brooms, a shabby looking thing with flyaway hairs. Remus wondered whether the broom would even fly, it looked so fragile. He took the broom with shaky hands.

“It’s okay, you’ll do great,” Rowan assured. “And if you fall, I’m here.”

You’ll catch me. Warmth spread through Remus’ stomach. “Okay. What do I do first?”

“You have to mount your broom.” Rowan swung his leg over the broom, using his thighs to squeeze the handle of it. He gripped the broom tightly with two hands, Remus tried to copy his stance, staring at the way Rowan held the broom. “We’re just going to go slow, okay?” Remus nodded, his voice catching in his throat. “Kick off the ground gently, if you kick off too hard, you’ll go really high.”

Remus nodded and pursed his lips. He braced himself, squeezing the broom tightly, and he jumped upwards. He yelped once he started flying off the ground, he hovered five feet above the ground. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Remus squealed. 

Rowan chuckled and flew up beside Remus. “Hey, you’ve got it. Lean forward slightly to fly. Lean left or right to turn.”

Remus nodded with a nervous smile. “Okay, okay. I can do it.” He leaned forward, overshooting how far he had to and nearly flipping over. Rowan reached a hand out to help before Remus righted himself. “I got it,” he breathed. 

“Hey, that’s good! You’re a natural.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Remus laughed.

Rowan chuckled and shrugged. “Well, you’re not falling off so that’s good. Try easing up a little, you don’t have to be so stiff.”

Remus nodded. He leaned forward again, inching forward through the air. His stomach did flips as he slowly started moving through the air. Remus grinned as he moved in a slow circle. 

“Pull the handle up if you want to go higher.” Remus took a deep breath of the cool air, pulling the broom up harshly, he yelped as he soured into the air. He lost his balance, and his grip came loose. Somehow, he ended up hanging off his broom like a koala bear and gasping. Rowan came up beside Remus. “Bloody hell, that was fast. Don’t worry I’ve got you,” he assured and reached up to grab the end of Remus’ broom. Rowan slowly guided Remus back down to solid ground. “I think you got a little too excited there,” he teased.

Remus pouted and his face turned red. “Sorry, you had to rescue me.” He stood on quivering legs once they were back on the pitch. 

“It’s okay, you honestly aren’t that bad. You could even be a half decent flier one day, maybe try out for the team.”

Remus laughed. “Yeah, that’d be a laugh, wouldn’t it?”

“I’m serious! You should think about it.”

“I was upside down.”

“We’ll just have to do more lessons then.” Rowan flashes his same brilliant smile. “Sound good?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” Remus rubbed the back of his neck and smiled.

~.~

Remus slid the plywood out of the way and climbed through the hidden hatch on the roof of the astronomy building. He gripped the edge and hoisted himself up onto the tiled roof, the night air kissing his cheeks while the stars and the tiny sliver of moon lit the castle. He stretched out his legs and sighed. An owl hooted in the distance, perhaps it was chasing after some prey, crickets chirped loudly across the fields, the wind kept whistling and whipping up Remus’ curls. He fished out his pack of cigarettes and the zippo he stole from his dad’s office. 

“So, this is your hang out spot, eh?” Remus jumped and nearly dropped his lighter and dart. Sirius was poking his head through the hatch, staring down Remus. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Followed you.” Sirius shrugged and pulled himself onto the roof to sit beside Remus.

“Not creepy or invasive at all.”

“You’re smoking?” Sirius spotted the dart in Remus’ hand. “Since when do you smoke?”

“What’s it to you?” Remus narrowed his eyes.

“Can I try?”

Remus handed him a cigarette, placing his own in his mouth, Sirius copied him. Remus flicked his lighter open, the two of them leaned forward and lit their cigarettes. Sirius coughed as he breathed in and hacked out smoke. Remus chuckled and blew out a cloud of smoke. “You’ll get used to it soon.”

“So, you’re some cool delinquent who smokes now?” Sirius teased through his coughing fit.

“Delinquent enough to push you off this roof.” 

“Awe, you’re so nice.” Sirius smiled cheekily at Remus. “Why are you up here?”

“I can’t smoke in our room, can I?” He emphasized his point by taking a drag from the cigarette. “Plus, it’s nice out here. It’s quiet. Well, it was.”

“I can be quiet.” Sirius pouted. “It is nice out here.”

“Yeah.” Remus smiled and lied down. “Why’d you follow me?”

“I was curious where you’ve been going for the last week.” Sirius laid back beside Remus. “You’re a very sneaky person. Now I just need to figure out where you’re going in the mornings.”

“Rowan’s teaching me to fly.”

“Rowan?” Sirius sat up and stared. “Why’d you get him to teach you?”

Remus laughed. “He offered, jealous I’m hanging out with your captain?” He blew a cloud of smoke at Sirius.

“You could have asked James or I. Does this mean you’ll go flying with us?”

“I’ll think about it.” Sirius lied down again. Remus stared up at the sky, studying the shape of the constellations. 

Sirius pointed at a group of stars. “That’s Delphinus.” 

“Yeah?”

Sirius nodded, pointing out each star in the constellation. He rattled on about the rest of the stars visible while Remus listened.