If you’d ask Sirius Black what he was afraid of, he’d tell you ‘absolutely nothing’. Because being scared was not very Gryffindor, and he never misses a chance to remind everyone that he was the most Gryffindor out of all Gryffindors.
He is only human, though, and as much as he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t scared of anything, the fact still remained that it wasn’t quite true.
Sitting up in his four-poster-bed in the Gryffindor boys’ dorm, Sirius had his covers pulled up to his chin. There was a storm raging outside, lightning flashed lighting up the room every now and again as a loud thunder followed every time.
At the sound of a loud rumble of thunder, Sirius couldn’t help a flinch.
The sound of thunder reminded him of home- of when his mother would scream and yell at him, casting curse after curse at him, before locking him up in his room as she cast a local thunder-storm-curse over the space. It wasn’t a memory he was fond of, obviously, and whenever it stormed outside, he found himself feeling like he was somehow back home again, stuck in his room, dealing with the consequences of his own actions that stirred up his mothers wrath.
And so even though Sirius liked to say that he, Sirius Black, wasn’t afraid of anything, he couldn’t help but whish how true that was when he flinched at the sound of yet another thunder. A whimper escaped his lips, and he quickly clasped his hand in front of his mouth- he didn’t want to wake anyone. He couldn’t wake anyone, because no one could find out.
James liked to think he knew everything about his best mate, but Sirius knew that this wasn’t the case. There were things that not even James knew, that he didn’t want James to ever find out. Truth be told, if James knew about his fear of thunder, Sirius wouldn’t really mind. Sure, he’d dread being made fun of every once in a while, but it was all light hearted and good intentions. But James would find a way to figure out why Sirius was afraid of thunder, and he couldn’t. James already knew to much about the trauma his parents caused, and Sirius hated how he sometimes looked at him as if he were damaged. Like he was… broken. Like he was something that needed fixing. Sirius didn’t need fixing- he was beyond fixing. He needed a fucking miracle if he would ever hope to feel somewhat normal.
Sirius had been so lost in thoughts that he physically jumped at the sound of a rumble of thunder. He couldn’t contain a yelp, either, even if his hand was still covering his mouth. He shut his eyes tightly as he felt tears forming behind his eyelids- god, how he hated thunderstorms.
A soft groan from the bed next to him made Sirius’ head whip to his right. Shit, he mentally cursed. He held his breath as he waited for any indication that Remus, who was sleeping in the bed to his right, was waking up. But it stayed silent, so Sirius slowly started to relax. It was fine- he hadn’t woken Remus up. He was still the only one awake- he was okay.
Sirius let out a deep breath that he’d been holding for a moment, but quickly tensed up again when he heard the sound of covers moving. And when not even a second later another thunder rumbled through the air, he flinched yet again.
“Siri’s?” he heard a soft, croaked voice ask.
“I’m awake,” Sirius murmured.
“Why?” Remus asked, his voice drenched with sleep.
“Don’t know,” Sirius shrugged. “Did I wake you up by moving around too much?” he quietly asked. “Nah,” Remus mumbled. “’S fine”. Sirius took a deep breath, before muttering an ‘okay’.
Silence fell upon the room, until the thunder sounded again. Sirius tried to make himself as small as possible upon hearing the sound, while trying to maintain his breathing.
“What’s wrong?” Remus asked from the bed beside him.
Remus could hear his uneven breathing, Sirius knew this. He had just really hoped that the werewolf had been too sleepy to notice.
“’S nothing,” he mumbled.
“That’s a lie,” Remus stated, and Sirius cursed inside his head because dang it, why did he have to have those stupid werewolf genes that could even catch onto his lies?
“I’ll be fine. Go back to sleep, Moony,” Sirius tried.
Remus was rather stubborn, though. So he said “no, not while you’re obviously not fine”.
Sirius closed his eyes as he put his head in his hands. Why did Remus have to be so stubborn? Usually, it was a trait that Sirius liked about him. However, sometimes, it could be rather annoying. Like right now.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius decided on saying. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me”.
“I always worry about you,” came Remus’ voice from the dark. Sirius could practically hear the frown he was sure the other was displaying on his face right now.
When Sirius flinched at another loud rumble, his breath hitching in his throat, Remus connected the dots.
“There’s nothing wrong about being afraid of thunder, you know,” the werewolf kindly whispered. “I know,” came Sirius’ answer.
A short silence fell, before Remus spoke up again.
“Have you been awake for long?” he asked.
Sirius nodded, whispering a soft “yeah”. There was no point in lying to Remus, anyway. He’d catch his lies without even having to try, the bastard. He’d always been able to see right through Sirius, though, and a part of him wondered if Remus would be able to read him that well even without all the werewolf-genes. He guessed he would. If only because this was Remus, the one who always seemed to know exactly what Sirius was thinking or needed. Maybe that’s why he had fallen in love with him, of all things. Because he knew Sirius like the back of his hand. Sirius knew it was more than that, that there were tons of other reasons he had fallen in love with his best friend. But a thunderstorm was not the right moment in time to go down that path, he knew, and so he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.
“Come here,” Remus said softly.
“What?”
“Come here,” Remus repeated.
Sirius was stunned. Why was Remus offering to share his bed with him? Remus hated sharing his bed. Sirius had found that fact out a long time ago. He and James liked to cuddle up in bed during the cold winter months, but whenever they had tried to invade Remus’ bed like they did each other’s, they were rudely pushed away. Or thrown out, quite literally once.
“Why?”
“Because cuddling helps you feel comfortable. And I’m pretty sure you’re freezing, so you could really use someone to warm up to”.
Sirius swallowed, before finding himself agreeing. “Okay, yeah, if you’re… if you’re sure”. “I am. And I am also very tired, so hurry up”.
Remus wouldn’t be Remus without being blunt like that, Sirius thought. It made him smile, though, as he threw the covers off of him and slipped out of his own bed. No matter the reason, he wasn’t saying no to an opportunity of being close to Remus. He hurried over to Remus’ bed, quickly climbing underneath the covers and finding comfort in the warmth the werewolf radiated. As soon as he had made himself comfortable, Remus pressed close to him as he wrapped his arm around the other boy.
“Shit, you’re freezing,” he muttered.
“Sorry,” Sirius quietly apologized.
“Don’t. It’s not your fault. Just… just try and get some sleep, yeah? I’ll be here when you wake up,” Remus said softly. Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus wasn’t done talking yet. “I promise,” he added, and Sirius closed his mouth again. It was as if Remus knew exactly what he was going to say, and he was reassuring him before he even got around to asking the question in the first place. So, instead, Sirius whispered a soft “thank you” to the werewolf, before snuggling closer to him and closing his eyes. Maybe he’d be able to shut out the loud noises from outside, after all.