Chapter 18
Remus hadn’t realized the vast entirety of how much he had missed Sirius until he had him fully again. The gaping hole that had dwelled for so long in his chest that Remus hadn’t realized had been so large until it was filled again with his star’s presence. With having Sirius in his arms again, in his bed cuddled into him and nuzzling closer for warmth, drooling on Remus’s chest in the mornings when Remus woke up earlier than him, dressed in Remus’s sweaters and draped over Remus’s lap and kissing up his neck, ever inquiring tongue prodding persistently against Remus’s skin. With having been in Sirius again, making his star cry out in ecstasy around him knowing that Remus alone had caused it, the pleasure strewn across Sirius’s spectacularly stunning features as his shimmering silver eyes focused solely on Remus.
And perhaps Remus had forgotten the warmth that Sirius’s gaze held as well over the years, the love and the trust inside of it, because it felt so much grander and homier now. Like Sirius’s eyes were meant to be locked on him all along, that his star was meant to be lazily hiding a not so secret smile when Remus groaned about how it seemed like the storm would never let up. Complained that they were going to be locked up inside there forever as Sirius did a very poor job of pretending to be upset about it too, wrapping his fuzzy sweater clad arms around Remus’s waist to mutter,
“The weather lady said there was an ice storm advisory, Moons,” pressed into his shoulder to add, “she said not ta’ go out unless absolutely necessary.”
Remus rolled his eyes with a half suppressed and admittedly somewhat fond groan, tossed a blanket over Sirius because his star seemed to be leaning into him for warmth a little harder than usual.
“That’s helpful, Pads,” he responded flatly, and Sirius perked up like he had decided to take Remus’s comment as a genuine compliment instead of the sarcastic supplement it was meant to be. Poked Remus’s cheek with his freezing cold nose, and how was his nose always so damn cold? Remus found himself wondering. He swore, his star could sit by the fire all day in far too many layers and still have skin the temperature of ice. The rational part of Remus knew it was probably just a vampire thing but the other part… The other part wanted to bundle Sirius up in his arms with all of his softest warmest blankets and press him up against his chest until his star never felt so much as a chill again.
But Sirius pulled him out of that when he added,
“She also said to give your mate lots of extra kisses and cuddles,” with a playful little grin, happy hopeful eyes peering up at Remus as if waiting for those kisses and cuddles. As if the weather lady really had recommended them. Remus smiled fondly at Sirius at the thought.
“Sure she did, baby,” he couldn’t help the pet name from slipping out.
“Said it was of the utmost importance,” Sirius only smiled more, pulling himself a little closer to Remus as he hooked his arms around Remus’s neck to do so, Remus pulling Sirius in around the waist in response.
“Oh, the utmost importance?” Remus raised a brow at Sirius’s uncharacteristic use of language. Smirked at the pretty blush that rose to Sirius’s cheeks as he said it, fleetingly thought fuck, he had missed that.
“Kisses keep you warm y’know,” Sirius hummed rather knowingly, “good thing to do in the middle of a storm.” And Remus couldn’t help humming right back, dragging Sirius closer to him to give him that kiss, to tie their lips together just like Sirius had wanted, honestly grateful for the excuse. Pulling away only to suggest,
“You know what keeps you even warmer?” Before going back to his star’s all too addicting lips, losing himself in a kiss that Remus hoped he would have countless more of, being able to treasure every brush of Sirius’s fingers against his skin as his star fumbled for purchase, and nearly lost himself to a sharp inhale that came with a consequential grinding of Sirius’s hips against his own.
Remus relished every second of it, every tiny luxury that he had regained with Sirius, every opportunity to kiss him, hold him, have him, and his heart again. To call his star all the pretty nicknames he had piled up in his head and make him blush furiously from each one of them.
“My good boy,” as Sirius sucked him off in the shower, taking Remus up on his offer to ‘be helpful’,
“Cariad,” or “love,” when he was tired and feeling fond, in place of or tacked onto Sirius’s name like they were part of it. Tied to a kiss or a smile when he felt Sirius light up inside from the endearment,
“Darling,” or “baby,” because they slipped out of Remus’s mouth far too easily and more frequently than he would like to admit, and it reliably seemed to cause Sirius’s breath to hitch ever so slightly when they did. And anything else that Remus thought up in the moment that he thought would cause Sirius’s cheeks to redden or a smile to spread across his ever gleaming face.
And if treasuring every tiny touch that his star gave him and every glance that Sirius sent his way—every feather-like trace of Sirius’s aristocratic fingers over Remus’s undeserving face—made Remus weak, then he was indeed an incredibly weak man. It had barely been a matter of weeks and he was back in Sirius’s gorgeous grasp as if nothing had happened to tear them apart, had crawled back to him almost pathetically fast, and yet, Remus couldn’t find it in himself to care.
To give two shits about anything besides making Sirius happy and his again. Keeping him safe as the wolf consistently reminded him to, the wolf more in the forefront of Remus’s mind now that they had bonded and held more sway over Remus’s every decision. Nudging Remus to touch Sirius, keep him away from any sign of danger or discomfort, to kiss up his neck and leave marks without the hesitation or reservation that Remus previously might have had.
Remus’s hesitation with Sirius in general had decreased rather significantly, although his libido had seemed to go up. Or maybe Remus had just realized that fucking Sirius once could never be enough. Been inside that wet warmth of his and once again become so addicted to it that he would always be running back for more. Seen his star’s gorgeously fucked out face, so wonder filled and out of it…
Remus shook himself out of his thoughts, lest he develop a hard on right there and then.
Though what certainly wasn’t helping with that goal was his star crawling up his lap in one of his sweaters and only that—Remus groaned as he realized Sirius wasn’t wearing any panties, felt his bare ass on his thigh and inhaled Sirius’s scent more strongly. His star practically begging to be fucked like that, Remus thought as he indulgently slid a hand over Sirius’s ass.
Felt himself hardening in his pants as Sirius breathed,
“I am,” and Remus queried a brow, humming inquisitively as he was unsure what his star was referring to. “Begging to be fucked, Moons,” Sirius clarified. “Need you inside me.” His star almost whined.
“Why’s that, love?”
“When Jamie interrupted us-” Remus was sure his eyes flashed red at the reminder of that incident, “-all I could think about was how I needed you in me. And then this morning, I thought- but then you went ‘nd made breakfast, and it was good Moons, but I needed you to fuck me. Still need you to fuck me, Re. Feel so empty without your cock.”
And that was all Sirius had to say, Remus caving like the mess of a man he was, running a hand up Sirius’s dangerously bare thigh and kissing up his star’s satiny smooth neck, spreading his just as soft legs for easy access. Releasing a light groan as Sirius ground down against him,
“Hm, we can't have that, can we baby?” Remus laved his tongue over the scar he’d left upon Sirius’s neck, bit it gingerly and made Sirius let out a gasp in doing so. Decided upon hearing it that he’d very much like to hear that same sound over and over again until his star could hardly make any sounds at all.
Remus was quick to push Sirius down onto the couch cushions, trace his fingers down to his star’s quivering and already slick hole and toy with his entrance just enough to get him whimpering.
Sirius’s eyes fluttered open then shut as Remus took the opportunity to slide two fingers inside of him, Sirius’s breath uneven at the intrusion, a gasp of,
“Re,” fell hazily from his lips. A mindless little plea for more, and one Remus felt every need to indulge, to add another finger and get Sirius nice and stretched out for him. The perfect sleeve for his cock, just like he knew his star wanted to be. Could feel it inside of Sirius if he needed any confirmation.
“Something to say, doll?” Remus raised a brow at him as if he expected an answer, anything else but the already wrecked moan that he got in return, Remus curling and twisting his fingers inside Sirius just enough to drive his sweet star mad, desperate cries escaping him in droves. And Sirius opened that pretty mouth of his like he wasn’t sure, like he might want to say something but was too overwhelmed with the pleasure Remus was giving him to decide.
So Remus leaned down and kissed the confusion away, relishing how Sirius whined into his lips, opening his mouth immediately to Remus’s warm intrusion, taking his tongue’s exploration so brilliantly that Remus decided he could take his cock too and replaced his fingers with it.
Took him slow because he wanted Sirius to feel every inch of his cock, to be sore enough from it that he’d never feel empty again, that he’d just feel Remus, and maybe that was the wolf being overly possessive or maybe that was Remus alone, but Remus couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not with Sirius keening on his cock and arching into him in the most unfathomable sort of ecstasy, the purest kind of peace.
Like this was all Sirius needed and wanted, forever, and Remus couldn’t agree more, a broken whimper leaving him as Remus bottomed out. An absolutely ethereal,
“Moons,” stretched out and syrupy on his tongue, Sirius already moaning like a whore underneath Remus. Like Remus’s whore, like his mate, Remus couldn’t help but grin. Envelope Sirius in a sloppy open mouthed kiss because Sirius was his and he could.
Could fuck into him like there was no tomorrow as Sirius’s whines and cries became more and more indecipherable, Remus’s name mixing with pleas and curses and countless words in French that Remus now had the luxury of understanding.
A hapless and half slurred, “love you more than anything, Moons, love your cock,” that Remus found resolutely charming. Kissed Sirius softly then asked,
“Which do you love more? Me or my cock?” And Sirius furrowed his brows and gaped like he was genuinely unable to decide, needing time to consider. Maybe even on the precipice of saying his cock based off of the way his eyes clouded over with lust, how Sirius moaned wantonly and threw his head back in pleasure.
And it made Remus chuckle, just how wonderfully his star just takes it. As if he was made to. Made Remus comment,
“You really are a pillow princess,” with a half hollow breath as Sirius squeezed surreptitiously around him, releasing an absolutely wrecked moan, pupils blown nearly black and glazing over beautifully. And Merlin, Remus was lost to this man. Had to be, because at that moment he thought there was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep Sirius like this. Blissed out and born again underneath his hands, letting Remus shape him like the prettiest sort of pottery. Break him and remake him again with his calloused fingers and his cock, Sirius so happy to be reshaped at Remus’s will.
So much trust in his eyes when he said, “You take such good care of me, Moons, I dunno how to be anything else,” a devoted little quip that made Remus groan with a renewed sort of hunger. Because fuck, that meant Remus was doing his job right. He wanted his star sated and spoiled, though he knew Sirius would only be sated once Remus had finished inside of him. Used him like the precious little cocksleeve Sirius adored being. Made him useful, and full, and messy from him, and Remus could feel how desperately Sirius wanted it, could feel it in his bones like he could feel Sirius’s everything now.
Could tell that he wanted pancakes in the morning with his simple, ‘’m hungry Moons,’ and could tell just how much Remus’s pajama pants riled him whenever Remus had them on. Could sense Sirius practically gagging for it now and thought he might as well verbalize that.
Remus kissed Sirius with an unintentional growl only to pull back and realize that he was just as hungry for more.
Rumbled, “such a pretty slut for me,” as if he too wasn’t just as gone for the man underneath him, just as addicted to Sirius’s spit slick lips and high moan of,
“Yours, Moons,” as Sirius tried to grind down on Remus’s cock like what Remus was giving him wasn’t enough, the spoiled thing that he was. Whimpered out,
“P-please fuck me, Moons,” and went to grind down on him again, so lost in himself that he couldn’t remember to behave. And Remus was so lost in Sirius too that he almost let it slide, tightened his hand on Sirius’s hip in warning and held him still before asserting,
“Be a good boy and maybe I will,” as if he wouldn’t fuck Sirius despite his ocassional brattiness, kissed and bit up his star’s craned back neck and slowed his movements inside him just to work him up more. To get Sirius nice and needy. Well behaved and plaint for him.
It worked like a charm as Sirius tended to do anything for Remus’s cock, so wonderfully greedy but staying still nonetheless. Following orders because he was so good at that. Such a good listener when Remus wanted him to be.
“Whadda I need to do?” Sirius looked to him for instruction, whined brilliantly when Remus rewarded him with a few slow pumps of his previously untouched dick, had him biting his lip and trying so hard to stay still. Still wiggling a little bit but Remus allowed it because his star was otherwise being so good.
Remus kissed him until he himself was breathless and slowly increased his movements, pulled away only to breathe,
“Just take it for me, baby,” and Sirius nodded so sweetly in understanding, hazy and willing and close, and Remus could see it in his eyes as Sirius whimpered at the way Remus worked over his dick, mouth open in a completely fucked out gasp that sounded so much like,
“Moony,” and Remus knew he was asking for permission, knew his star so well at this point that he didn’t even have to think before granting it.
Encouraging him to be, “Nice and loud, pretty thing, go ahead and come for me,” directing Sirius to look at him as he obeyed. Locked eyes with Remus then fuckingwailed his release. Wrapped his arms around Remus’s shoulders and whimpered lightly at the overstimulation Remus gave him by not letting up after his crest, whined as Remus continued to work him over and curved into Remus like he couldn’t get close enough to it.
Fluttered his lashes open and shut and cried the prettiest pleas of,
“Too much,” and “More,” all mixed up like Sirius didn’t know what he really wanted, panted and cried through the long, drawn out release that Remus gave him, screwing his eyes shut when it got to be too much and spurting white liquid all over Remus’s hand and chest, getting plenty on himself too, because Sirius was such a messy whore. Coming and crying for Remus in a world of his own, mind locked away in pleasure and Remus could only observe as the shockwaves rolled over his star and he slowly came back down to earth.
Mumbled,
“Moons,” with a dreamy half-there wonder that let Remus know Sirius wasn’t all the way back yet. His darling boy humming absentmindedly as his shining eyes took in each one of Remus’s features with his typical adoring reverence, made Remus a bit heart sore at the purity of it, almost distracted him from his mission to make Sirius come until he lost his mind. And Sirius enveloped him in a thank you kiss that melted all of Remus’s sappy bits before Remus offered,
“Still want more, sweet star?” Sirius nodded all too eagerly as he whined into Remus’s mouth, opened up to him and allowed Remus full access to everything, submitted to every one of his touches yet was still greedy for more. And Remus loved overstimulating Sirius because of what it did to him, that needy sort of trust he placed in Remus as he teetered endlessly over the edge of desperation, moaned as Remus fed him his own release, let Sirius lick and suckle on his fingers until he deemed them clean then patted his cheek for a job well done. Told Sirius to,
“Use your words then, darling,” as if he didn’t already know exactly how heavily Sirius had implied his ‘yes’.
“Please make me come again,” Sirius nearly sobbed and Remus hummed in satisfaction, went back to making Sirius see stars by spearing him repeatedly on his cock and uttered,
“So polite like this, aren’t you baby?” Through a groan as Sirius spasmed yet again around him, pawed at Remus haplessly as if looking for purchase before he found it in Remus’s hair. Pulled and whined and nodded like that was all he was, all he could do in such a state. Agreed so fast and moaned the prettiest most whorish moan.
“T-trained me well,” Sirius mouthed sloppily at Remus’s neck, found a spot and sucked, licked over it and let himself be bounced again and again on Remus’s cock, gave Remus a little too much confidence with his response as Remus smirked and railed into him harder. Only half teased,
“I did, didn’t I?” Because he did make a point of rewarding good behavior, and over the years Sirius had grown to be rather well behaved. At least for Remus, at least like this. Remus would like to think he had some hand in that.
And Remus was nearing his own end as Sirius squeezed and slid against him, knew it wouldn’t be long and that Sirius was teetering over his edge too, lost for words and making indecipherable sounds like choruses of ‘ah-ah-ah’s and ‘Re-ahh-mus’. Pretty pleases all foggy and broken up and making Remus note,
“You’re so pretty when you beg,” Sirius half out of his mind but lucid enough to respond,
“P-pretty for you,” stroking Remus’s possessive streak until Remus growled,
“Just for me, baby,” and Sirius held him tighter and closer to him as he whimpered his agreement.
Cried, “You, Moons,” then, “close, can I- ‘m close,” a bit brokenly and Remus fucked him to no return, could only bring himself to say,
“Me too, cariad,” a deep and throaty groan that wasn’t permission. He knew Sirius needed permission. But Remus was too engulfed in his own pleasure, in the pretty thing underneath him, in the question, “how many times do you think you can come for me?” As he thrusted so deep inside Sirius he nearly lost himself then, slammed his star’s hips into his own and watched him keen and cry like he didn’t know the answer. Didn’t have the mind to figure one out.
But Remus tapped Sirius’s sex flushed cheek to encourage an answer anyway, because Remus could be cruel sometimes, and he wanted to hear his star at his wit’s end. Locked in a world that solely consisted of being fucked but forced to form words in order to be granted his pleasure.
“Hm, baby?” Remus brushed a piece of hair off of Sirius’s sweaty forehead as he relished the streams of tears that flowed down his star’s cheeks. So fucked out. So pretty. Remus would keep him like that forever if he could.
He didn’t honestly expect an answer from Sirius, not in this state, had really only asked for his own amusement, but Remus was proven wrong when Sirius gasped,
“As- ahhh- many times as you- ahh- want,” voice reedy, devoted, and untethered, pupils wide and blown out but focused on Remus, ready to fall apart as soon as Remus said the word. And fuck, if that didn’t do Remus in. Didn’t dig Remus a grave and condemn him to a happy death of giving Sirius everything and anything he wanted. Make Remus groan,
“Good boy,” then, “come with me, love,” and fill Sirius up until he was leaking around him. Remus felt his vision going white and then felt Sirius cling to him needily, shake and shudder and beg, come splattering all up and down his torso, some even reaching Sirius’s chin. Making him moan more at the revelry of Sirius’s release, the aftershocks that he felt too, Sirius so lost in the clouds that all he could murmur was a barely audible,
“Thank you, Moons,” because even then he remembered his manners before he fell limp on the bed and weakly bucked into Remus’s still moving fist, whimpered and whispered indecipherably until he was coming again, closing his eyes and almost squirming away because it was too much, but his star simply gripped the bed sheets to keep himself from moving and whined highly as a small stream of white liquid left him with pleasure filled bursts.
Sleepy and sated now, and oh-so-clingy as he refused to let Remus move even an inch out of him, Sirius pouted when Remus took his hand away from his cock, to which Remus gently explained,
”You’re overworked, baby,” and Sirius shook his head like he didn’t think that was fair but cuddled into Remus nonetheless, only humming in contentment when Remus was so close to him that there was no room for either of them to move. Remus banished any thoughts of cleaning up anytime soon as Sirius latched onto the skin overtop his collarbone and sucked at it like he was trying to make a mark that would stay, and Remus was happy to let him. Accidentally moved half an inch and felt Sirius biting down, heard him grumble in dissatisfaction, and because Remus was a smart man who didn’t want his neck to get mauled he chuckled a,
“Sorry, love,” that was answered by a slightly softer grumble and another, smaller, bite on his neck. A sleepy kiss to his jaw before Sirius slumped down over Remus’s chest. Yawned then mumbled something into his shoulder that Remus couldn’t quite make out. A little too quiet and muffled to make proper sense of.
But Remus simply chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of his star’s head.
“Rest, baby,” he uttered as he smoothed a hand over Sirius’s hair. “We can do this again later.”
. . .
Sirius:
“I’m gonna take you out when this storm clears up,” Remus promised when Sirius eventually came back down to earth, carefree as he ran his fingers through the disheveled mess that was Sirius’s hair, “on a proper date.”
“Oooo, with chairs?” Sirius tilted his head up in curiosity. His Moony’s fingers felt so good in his hair, Sirius let the relaxation seep in.
“And tables, and not fuckin’ you the night before,” Remus’s chuckle was a low rumble across the warmth of his chest that Sirius was still pressed right up against. One he leaned into before smiling and scrunching his nose up. Poking his Moony’s cheek to say,
“I don’t like the sound of that, Moons,” only because he didn’t like the sound of any proposition where he wasn’t getting fucked by Remus, still feeling a bit hazy from the many orgasms his Moony had given him. Warm and cuddly and oh so happily worn out.
“Waiting till after, baby,” Remus answered with a hum and a quick kiss to Sirius’s forehead, “and I’m serious about this,” he smiled back at Sirius rather fondly, “I’m takin’ you somewhere nice so I can show you off.”
‘So I can show you off,’ Sirius felt a bit tingly at the phrase Remus had thrown his way. Remus wanted to show him off, to take him somewhere nice so people could see. Could see that Sirius was his and just how much he wanted to be. Knowing his Moons Remus would probably find some classy restaurant that he would insist on driving him to and be a perfect gentleman all night, paying the bill and pulling out his chair for him and standing up whenever Sirius entered a room… Sirius still didn’t know what that one was. Only that it felt nice and was endearingly nerdy because never in his life had he seen anyone else do it, let alone for him.
That he had teased Remus playfully about it in fifth year and Remus’s cheeks had turned bright red, his best friend stuttering,
“My mum taught me to always stand when a lady walks into a room,” so quickly that Sirius had only barely caught it, Remus embarrassed like he almost never was when he added, “Or someone you… well, you know…” Shook his head and hid half his face in his hand as Sirius began to put the pieces together and slowly developed a wide shit eating grin.
“You know what?” Sirius’s eyes lit up in pure delight and he felt himself light up inside at the implication that maybe Remus liked him. He reveled in how nervous he had made his best friend, his lovely, lovely Moony, because that was how nervous Remus tended to make him.
“When you fancy someone,” Remus rolled his eyes with a put out huff but answered anyway. “It’s only polite.” He informed him rather soundly. Sirius’s grin only grew.
“And you fancy me?” Sirius’s voice developed a sing-song lilt to it.
“Pads,” Remus groaned with a bit of a wince that wasn’t a denial. If anything it was a confirmation and Sirius latched onto it with a far too excited revelry that would surely branch into more teasing, not even a little bit apologetic as he prodded,
“That’s why you’ve been all proper and polite to me? Cuz you fancy me, Moons?”
“I fancy you more when you aren’t being all bratty about it.” Remus warned half-heartedly but Sirius was far too overcome with joy at the revelation to be letting up anytime soon. His Moony had just admitted he liked him, Sirius justified, if there was any time to be a bit obnoxiously excited about it, it was now.
“But you still fancy me,” he continued cheerily, “You’ll court me like the proper lady I am and be all gentlemanly and take me out on dates and…”
“Don’t you think that’s a bit presumptuous, love?” Remus interjected and Sirius’s heart nearly sank as he tried not to get too disappointed.
“Do you not want to take me on dates?” Sirius furrowed his brows and chewed on his lip as he could hear his voice get a bit quieter. Had Sirius jumped the gun, or misinterpreted Remus’s words? The wind whistled outside and he focused on that instead of his potentially upcoming disappointment.
But Remus was just messing with him, of course he was messing with him, Sirius realized as Remus chuckled fondly in amusement, shook his head at him with a jovial smile and his melting caramel brown green eyes. Like a break in a forest where sunlight could shine through, Sirius had always thought, tree trunks glistening a little brighter as the warm light bounced off of them, green leaves falling to the ground for Sirius to roll around in, curl up beside as Remus assured,
“Oh I have every intention of taking you out on dates, darling. But courting you like a proper lady, I think we’re already a bit too familiar for that to be a possibility.”
. . .
Hogwarts, Sixth Year:
Remus had a long list of things that he preferred to keep to himself, but at the top of them was how cute he thought his best friend looked in his sleep. Latched around his leg and cuddling into him like an adorable little koala and creeping up, up, up.
Sirius was almost in his lap and drooling away and if it was up to Remus he would skip his first class just so he could let Sirius sleep in, uncaring of the consequences. Take the tongue lashing he’d no doubt get from McGonagall about how prefects shouldn’t be setting such poor examples with tardiness just so Remus could admire his star as he curled up against him in peace.
As Sirius nuzzled his head into Remus’s hip and hummed happily when Remus recklessly allowed himself to pet Sirius’s hair to make sure he didn’t stir.
Fuck, Remus resigned himself, if he wasn’t gone for Sirius before…
And then Remus had to fucking sneeze. He cursed himself a million times over when the unexpected noise woke Sirius up. Scared the shit out of the poor thing because Sirius jolted enough to knee Remus in the stomach. To flail across the bed before his drowsy eyes opened and he paused a moment to take Remus in and question,
“Moons?” And Remus had just enough air left in him after getting it knocked out to beckon his friend back over, to subdue his wince because Sirius would feel so bad if he knew he’d caused it. And it wasn’t as if Sirius had done it on purpose.
“Mornin’, love,” Remus opened an arm up to Sirius and raised the covers for him, “c’mere.” His voice was gruffer than he recognized it being, and Remus delighted in how freely Sirius crawled back to him, sleepily cuddling back against Remus’s side and securing one arm around him without a second thought. Reluctantly groaning,
“Wha’ time ‘s it?” As he buried his nose snugly into the crook of Remus’s neck. Got comfy and cozy enough again for Remus to once again consider simply not attending first period that morning.
“How tired are you?” Remus asked instead. Let Sirius bury himself in closer and anticipated his star’s answer before it even came out.
A heavily exaggerated “Exhausted,” as if Sirius had never slept a day in his life, one Remus almost gave in to, would have if it wasn’t so adorably falsified. But instead he placed a long reluctant-to-leave kiss to Sirius’s temple and groaned,
“Up, Pads. We’ll be late otherwise,” chuckling sincerely at his star’s many complaints and indulging absolutely all of his morning clinginess because if there was anyone that he would without a doubt always indulge it was Sirius Black.
. . .
Two Years After Graduation :
Sirius:
Sirius absolutely loved going to great lengths to throw parties for the people he cared about, set up surprises, and get overly elaborate gifts for birthdays and holidays, but nothing could compare to the excitement he felt organizing James’s bachelor party. Booking two connecting rooms at a kitschy hotel next to an even kitschier 24 hour wedding chapel that he totally hadn’t picked in the hopes of Remus spontaneously bringing him over there to have a ceremony of their own. No, Sirius picked the location simply to add to the Vegas allure. And he definitely hadn’t packed an excess of white so that he had options just in case Remus did. That was just a coincidence that happened to allow Sirius to be prepared. And if Remus happened to see the flashing neon lights on top of the kitschy white chapel and decide to drag Sirius over there, that would be a coincidence too.
He’d not disclosed exactly where they were staying to James, or anyone else for that matter, save for Effie who told him that he’d make quite the wonderful bride but warned him not to get his hopes up too high just in case Remus wasn’t ready for such a commitment yet. So when the four of them entered the velvet covered lobby and Remus let out a barely audible groan at the horror of it Sirius wasn’t sure whether to mention that their rooms would be velvet covered too. James, however, was thrilled at the kitschiness of it and was equally excited when they opened the door to their rooms to reveal a bright red velvet monstrosity and and even brighter fuschia one, both with terrible 60s to 70s wallpaper, too much gold, and a shared bathroom with a heart shaped hot tub.
“This is perfect,” James grinned ear to ear, pressed his hands against both sides of Sirius’s face and planted an enthusiastic kiss on his forehead. Remus had to duck so as not to hit his head on the too low crystal chandelier that hung in each room and cringed a bit at the hot pink as James found his way to the brochures sitting atop one of the dressers and picked up one for the wedding chapel next door, waving it around when he did. “We can finally seal the deal, Pads! Lils’ll be pissed but if we don’t tell her…”
“That seems like a recipe to get your ass beat,” Remus warned in a tone he hardly ever used, save for around the moons, and Sirius couldn’t tell if Remus was implying that Lily would be the one doing the beating or if he would. If Remus was just grouchy from the insanely long flight or if his possessive streak was coming out. Remus had to have known that James was joking, Sirius contemplated as he noticed how tightly his boyfriend’s jaw was clenched, but maybe he didn’t. Or maybe he didn’t even want anyone else to joke about marrying Sirius. Maybe that was something Remus thought was reserved only for him. Or maybe Sirius was reading far too much into it and Remus really was just tired and grouchy from the flight. It was probably that.
“Yeah, you’re right,” James chuckled somewhat obliviously and put the brochure down, but not before winking at Sirius and playfully adding, “maybe my second marriage,” which prompted Remus to put his arm around Sirius’s waist and grit out,
“Maybe,” in a tone that was indisputably not so playful. James looked warily between the two of them, likely understanding a threat when he saw one, then shrugged and picked up his luggage, shouting,
“Dibs on the red room!”
Peter followed him in the same direction with another awkward glance between Sirius and Remus before disappearing behind the connecting door, leaving a thick cloud of tension wafting between them. One that didn’t really disappear when Remus grunted,
“So I guess we’re stuck in Barbie’s dream house,” and flopped on the bed. Threw an arm over his eyes and added, “I’m gonna take a nap, love,” leaving Sirius to flit his eyes nervously in the direction of the discarded wedding pamphlet and wonder if it had been a mistake choosing the hotel he had. If Remus even wanted to marry him. Sirius had likely been wrong to put this kind of pressure on him, and although Remus had been snippy with James when he joked about tying the knot with Sirius, that didn’t mean Remus actually wanted to marry Sirius himself. And Sirius knew he shouldn’t push, that he probably shouldn’t bring it up at all, but-
“Moons, when James said the thing about marrying me-” Sirius started, and Remus removed his arm from his face and sat up on his elbows, cocking a brow at him.
“No one’s marrying you but me,” Remus nearly growled before flopping back down onto the pink and white pillows, clearly putting his foot down on the issue, before changing the subject entirely. “Now are you gonna come nap with me baby, or are you waiting for an invitation?” He extended his arm for Sirius and patted the space next to him and Sirius tried with all his might to act as if Remus hadn’t just given him chills by the decisive and commanding way he had declared that Sirius would be marrying no one else but him. To act like he wasn’t thinking about the two of them in that chapel as he kicked off his boots and climbed into his designated spot in Remus’s arms. To swallow a gasp when Remus firmly hooked his arm around Sirius’s waist and pulled him in securely against his equally firm body.
“You- You’d want to marry me?” Sirius wasn’t sure what to say, how to properly react to that bombshell, but he had expected more of a conversation out of his boyfriend, and wanted to continue it, even though Remus was grouchy and it was likely a bad idea.
“Love, we don’t have to do this right now,” Remus sighed exasperatedly and Sirius tried his best to ignore the hurt that built up in his chest at Remus’s tone, his reluctance. And felt especially stupid when he asked,
“Do… what?” Too afraid to ask if Remus was working up to rejecting him. Remus only sighed once again and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Look I shouldn’t have snapped at James, I’ll apologize to him later,” Remus offered in what Sirius thought to be a poor attempt to avoid the matter at hand.
“That’s not what this is about,” Sirius placed a hand over his boyfriend’s chest and Remus went to sit up, forcing Sirius to rearrange himself.
“Look, Pads, I’m tired, I don’t want to do this now,” Remus all but groaned as he leaned his head back against the pillow covered headboard. But it was too late for the dismissal and far too late to end the conversation because Sirius had already gotten his feelings hurt, and was already burned by the rejection.
“Too bad, I want to do this now,” Sirius shoved Remus's chest and tried to ignore how his voice wavered when he asked, “do you even want to marry me, Moons, or do you just want James not to?”
“Baby-” Remus groaned but Sirius shook his head insistently, tears brimming in his eyes.
“Answer.”
Remus cradled the side of Sirius’s face with his hand and gingerly wiped a tear away with his thumb, leaned forward enough to press a kiss into his forehead. But then he chuckled. Chuckled, and Sirius couldn’t help but feel a bit made fun of.
“What?” Sirius furrowed his brows together cluelessly and Remus chuckled a bit more before answering,
“You think I didn’t get the hint, Pads? Didn’t see the giant fucking noen sign and put two and two together? If you wanted me to marry you, you could've just asked,” with an amused smile. Sirius felt fairly silly when he laughed wetly with Remus, wiped the tears from his face but still felt a bit sore from what he had thought was a no turning into what he hoped was a yes.
“I-” Sirius hiccuped and looked down at his hands, feeling a bit flushed as he admitted, “I kind of wanted you to ask me,” Sirius chewed his lip nervously and he felt a bit frantic in the too long seconds of anticipation. Felt silly in his tight leather pants and pink western style vest that matched the walls and his discarded cowboy boots, redundant in bringing them to this specific place in Vegas, next to the flashiest kitchiest wedding chapel he could find. All so that maybe he could get Remus to propose to him, to marry him, all so he didn’t have to be the one to ask. For being too cowardly, too horrible at articulating what he wanted to just ask. But then again Sirius hadn’t known that he could just ask.
Sirius was so lost in his thoughts that he only shifted out of them when he felt the bed shift beside him, saw Remus stand up and pat over his pockets before rummaging around in his luggage like he was looking for something. Maybe his phone so he could leave, Sirius thought rather glumly, his only shred of hope coming when Remus muttered half to himself,
“Don’t think I have a ring…” before continuing his search.
“You don’t have to-” Sirius inserted when he realized that was what Remus was doing. That he was looking for something to propose to him with. Remus turned around and shook his head, silencing him, then gave him a lopsided grin as he presented a silver chain with a matching silver ring on it.
“Jackpot,” Sirius’s jaw dropped at the sight in front of him, and he was barely able to close it before Remus tilted his chin up to kiss him. Sirius’s head spun a bit when he was released from his Moony’s lips, ever so slightly breathless. Remus’s smile softened as he looked Sirius over.
“Y’know, I planned on doing this somewhere nice, baby,” Remus chuckled fondly, but continued, getting down on one knee and presenting the ring to Sirius in front of the bed, “and this isn’t the ring I had picked out…” he trailed off. “But would you do me the honor of marrying me, Sirius? Preferably not in a drive thru chapel in Vegas?” Sirius grinned from his place on the bed, practically leaped to throw his arms around his boyfriend and kiss him.
“What, you don’t want to be officiated by an Elvis impersonator?” He laughed into Remus’s lips and Remus laughed right back, wrapping his arms around his waist and chuckling,
“I’d deal with the Elvis impersonator. I’d marry you in this god awful room or in that god awful chapel and then come back here and fuck you in that heart shaped hot tub with Peter and James in the next room if that’s what you want. I’d marry you anywhere. But I’d much rather do it with the ring I spent months picking out, after I’ve asked Effie and my mother’s permission, with all the people you love, somewhere that doesn’t also specialize in quickie divorces and annulments.” Sirius fake pouted and Remus interrupted his speech to offer Sirius a kiss, one that Sirius tried to deepen but had pulled away from him as Remus wasn’t finished speaking.
“So what do you think, love? Take this one for now and when we get home I can propose to you again, with the real ring, that I think will look much prettier on your finger, and then we can get married?”
“I don’t know, Moons, I don’t wanna miss out on heart shaped hot tub sex…” Sirius pretended to actually be considering his answer, as if he wasn’t internally screaming yes a thousand times over, just to fuck with Remus. And maybe to get his Moony to say it again. That he’d marry him anywhere. That he wanted to marry him in the first place.
“Then I’ll fuck you in the hot tub anyway,” Remus amended perhaps a little too quickly, and Sirius smiled at just how much in that moment Sirius had him wrapped around his finger. And at the promise of hot tub sex, but that was less important. “Baby, I’ll fuck you anywhere, do anything, please marry me?” Sirius was absolutely giddy by the time Remus had finished practically begging him for his hand and he couldn’t help but crash his lips against Remus’s, nodding rapidly and doing a terrible job feigning nonchalance as he answered,
“Only for the hot tub sex,” to which Remus chuckled,
“That’s a lie and we both know it,” and slipped the silver chain around Sirius’s neck, kissing his collarbone next to where the stand-in ring lay as Sirius’s whole world fell into perfect alignment. His heart fuller than it had ever been as Sirius pictured the ring that his Moony had spent all that time picking out for him, not for a second considering the possibility that he might never get to see it. That only a month after his best friend’s wedding his life would come crumbling down around him and he would be fleeing to another country instead of getting properly engaged to his Moony.