bad idea, right?

Evan could tell Barty was getting antsy.

When Barty had first proposed the bet, Evan immediately knew that he was going to get bored of it fast. It’s not that Barty didn’t love bets - he did - but he needed constant competition. A practically three-month long bet? No, Barty needed constant opportunities to win, to challenge his infuriatingly intelligent mind. Which is why Evan could hardly be surprised when Barty slid in next to him in Potions one week later and asked: “Wanna make a bet?”

Evan arched a brow at him. 

“I was under the impression we already had,” Evan replied loftily.

Barty rolled his eyes. “Another one, Ev. Watching you chat up girls for three months isn’t as interesting as I thought it’d be.”

Girls was generous. After Barty interrupted (read: ruined) his not-date with Jordan, Evan had avoided the female population of Hogwarts (save Dorcas and Pandora, of course) like the plague. He wasn’t embarrassed, per say, but the girl he was on a date with saying they weren’t on a date? He took a hit to his pride. Not that he particularly fancied Jordan, but still.

Evan sighed resignedly. “Fine, how can I entertain you, Croush?”

Barty’s eyes lit up at that, as if he wasn’t expecting Evan to say yes. Barty had possibly the most expressive eyes Evan had ever seen. They were a deep brown, dark enough to be black, but when they lit up, you could positively see into his soul. One flick of his gaze and Evan could know exactly what he was thinking. 

“Let’s choose the same girl. First one to get her to ask you to Hogsmeade wins.”

“And what, pray tell, does winning entail?”

Barty’s eyes twinkled as he looked around the classroom, his gaze falling on a vial of color-changing potion. Oh fu-

“The loser,” Barty declared, “has to dye their hair.”

“Barty, if I end up with pink hair, I sw-”

“Already thinking about losing, huh?”

He was, honestly. Barty was an embarrassing flirt, sure, but there was no denying he moved in fast. Evan could never admit that to him though. So, like most things in Evan’s life, he would bullshit his way through this one.

“In your dreams, Crouch.”

Barty smirked. “Oh, believe me, you are.”

Evan felt his face heat up. Merlin, he had secondhand embarrassment from Barty’s shameless flirting.

“Shut up.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” Barty teased, turning back to the front as Slughorn began his lesson.

Evan turned forward also, his stomach flipping. He must be hungry.

_____________________________

At lunch, Barty and Evan decided on Allegra Vane. She was a sixth-year Hufflepuff and on the Quidditch team. She was pretty from an objective standpoint, Long, curly black hair and big green eyes. Half the guys in her house were mad for her. She was open and nice, but didn’t fall so easily. The perfect challenge.

Evan knew that if Barty made a move first, he’d be fucked. Barty would latch on and flirt shamelessly until she asked him out, and the idiot would flaunt his win in Evan’s face. Evan might not have Barty’s flirtatious nature, but he could make a first impression. After all, it’d worked with Jordan…at least he thought. And it’d never seemed to fail him in the past.

His friends often joked that Evan was a prude. But he wasn’t. He’d actually been with just as many people as Barty. Well, maybe not quite so many, but a decent amount. Mostly Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls he met at parties. He just didn’t flaunt it like Barty, is all. And, if he was being honest, he never particularly enjoyed any of the hookups. Evan was beginning to think he was doing it wrong, or perhaps he hadn’t found the right girl. The hookups weren’t bad, just, frankly, boring. His hands on soft skin, her long hair in his face. It wasn’t exciting. Evan found himself waiting for it to be over. He knew it was bad. But he didn’t have it in him to care. It seemed like his partners were enjoying his hookups, so perhaps he was just overthinking as usual.

Evan got up from the Slytherin table, ignoring Barty’s protests of “Hey! I didn’t say go!”. Walking over to the Ravenclaw table, he sat down next to Samantha Finnigan, another Ravenclaw girl who he studied with sometimes. Who was conveniently sitting right across from her best friend, Allegra Vane. 

“Hey, Finnigan,” he greeted casually.

Samantha sent an odd look at Evan, before replying “Hi, Evan?”

Evan laughed. “Not excited to see me? Don’t worry, I just had a question about Ancient Runes.”

“Oh, I haven’t started the scroll yet. Probably should though… ten inches.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do it on yet?”

Samantha sighed, darting a glance at Allegra. “I was just talking about that, actually. I have no idea. Allegra does, though.”

Perfect. Evan didn’t just ‘happen’ to ask about Ancient Runes. He knew Allegra took it, with Pandora. Pandora’s daily musings seemed to be paying off. 

“Oh, is that right?” Evan remarked casually. “What’re you writing about?”

Allegra turned to him, smiling. “Nature runes, I think. I checked out this book in the library and they seem awfully interesting.”

Maybe Evan couldn’t make sexual innuendos or public declarations like Barty. But this, real conversation? This he could handle.

“Oh, I’ve heard, actually. Isn’t it interesting how nature runes come from so many different ancient languages? Roman, Greek, Nordic. It’s amazing.”

Allegra’s eyes sparkled in response. “Yes, exactly! I’m so glad you get it. Samantha’s been rolling her eyes while I rattle on about them.”

Evan smiled at her, genuine this time. “I get it. I get that way with, well, everything.”

Allegra chuckled.

Samanatha glanced between them in mock distress. “Merlin, I’m stuck between two swots!”

“You know,” Evan started, “I’ve been called that a lot lately.”

“If the shoe fits,” Samantha quipped.

“If you ever need someone to nerd out with,” Evan said, turning to Allegra again, “I’m here.”

And, honestly, he meant it. Sure, he wasn’t particularly attracted to Allegra, but she seemed like an interesting enough girl. He hoped Barty didn’t fuck it up to the point that they couldn’t be friends, at least.

Allegra smiled gratefully. “Sure, Evan. I’d like that.”

Sensing an end to the conversation, Evan got up from the seat.

“If I’m such a swot, I suppose I won’t be seeing you in the library to study for Arithmancy later, Finnigan.”

Samantha swatted Evan’s arm playfully. “Hey, if there’s anything a swot is good for, it’s studying.”

Evan sighed dramatically, looking at Allegra. “I don’t know how you live with her. I would’ve strangled her with her broom years ago”

Allegra giggled. “Trust me, I’ve considered doing the same.”

“Hey, I can hear you!”

Evan pretended to strangle Samantha with an invisible broom, making Allegra laugh.

“I’ll see you later, Samantha. Dead or alive.”

Samantha saluted him.

“And, Allegra, if you ever need a break from this one,” Evan nudged Samantha, “you know where to find me.”

And, since Evan apparently only had one move, he winked at her and walked away.

“Well done, Evan,” Dorcas remarked as he sat back down at the Slytherin table.

“I saw her laughing,” Pandora mused. “That’s always a good sign.”

“Maybe she was choking,” Barty suggested helpfully.

Evan fixed a stare on him. “You snooze, you lose, Bartemius.”

Barty scoffed. “Mark my words, Rosier. I’ll have a date by the end of today.”

___________________

Evan’s first mistake was going to the library with Samantha.

As they were hunched over their scrolls, revising for their Arithmancy test, Evan saw Barty enter the library out of the corner of his eye. He watched as Barty walked over to the Herbology section, browsing through the stacks. What was that about? Barty never studied Herbology unless he absolutely had to. He despised the subject. Barty was the kind of person who could somehow kill a cactus plant.

As he explained a particularly complicated problem to Samantha, he watched Barty check out the book and walk out of the library. What was he up to now?

“I’ll be right back, Sam.”

Evan followed Barty out, careful to stay a new paces behind so he wouldn’t be seen. As he turned the corner, he saw Barty heading towards the courtyard. He followed Barty’s eyeline, out to a tree in the center. Fuck.

There sat Allegra Vane, immersed in a spell she was practicing on the tree’s branches, turning them to stone, then back to wood. 

Evan watched as Barty crossed the courtyard, stopping under the tree with the book in his hands. Evan inched closer, casting a sound-amplifying spell to hear their conversation.

“-thought you’d like it,” Barty finished, handing out the Herbology book to her.

Evan hadn’t expected that. He’d expected for Barty to employ his usual flirting techniques, teasing remarks and playful touches. Instead, he had gotten Allegra something he knew she’d like. Almost as if he had understood that Allegra was more reserved, less shallow that one might assume at first glance. Perhaps Barty was more observant than Evan gave him credit for. 

Lost in his thoughts, Evan snapped back to attention, realizing Barty was about to win the bet. Evan adjusted from his position behind the bush, hopeless. There was nothing he could do, he realized, without making it obvious that they were competing. Allegra deserved better than that, Evan decided. So instead, he simply stayed and listened.

“How did you know I loved Herbology?” Allegra asked, seeming oddly touched.

“You’re always growing things with your wand during Divination. You turned the tea leaves back into a plant yesterday. Call it a lucky guess.” Barty chuckled, softly, more…normal than usual. Did Barty like Allegra? Evan had never seen him act so rational, so sweet. Or perhaps this was how he always acted. Evan realized he’d only ever seen Barty flirt with people at parties, or with their friends. He’d never seen Barty like this, as if trying to date. He knew Barty went on dates, sure, Evan assumed he just smirked his way into them. This was a whole new side of Barty. One he knew existed but, selfishly, thought was just for him.

“Thank you, Barty. I’m looking forward to reading it.”

“Cool. If you grow any of those hybrid plants, let me know. I’d love a weed plant,” Barty said, smirking at her. There it was. Evan was oddly comforted to know that Barty, with the flirty smiles and cockiness, wasn’t completely gone.

As Barty turned to leave, Allegra called out his name.

“Hey, Crouch.”

“Yeah?”

“You got plans for the next Hogesmeade weekend?”

Evan was fucked. He better start Transfiguring some hats to hide his new hair.

“I don’t.”

“Now you do. Pick me up at 11?”

Barty smiled, seemingly genuine. “I’ll see you then, Vane.”

______________________

“Don’t,” Evan commanded as Barty entered their dorm an hour later.

“What?” Barty asked innocently.

“I know what you’re going to say. You won the bet.”

“I love hearing you say it. Now say, Barty, you are a flirting god.”

“I already have to dye my hair. That’s enough emotion torture for one day.”

“Dye your hair?” Dorcas asked incredulously.

Evan nodded somberly. “My punishment for losing.”

“What color should I pick?” Barty mused, a delighted smirk on his face.

“We never agreed on you picking the color. Spare me some dignity.”

“It was implied.”

“No deal.”

“Fine,” Barty huffed dramatically. “You can choose. But anything too dark is off-limits. It needs to be noticeable.”

“What about blonde?” Pandora piped in.

“Like yours?” Evan asked. Pandora’s hair was dyed a bleach blonde, a stark contrast against her dark skin. It was twisted into braids adorned with various beads that most likely had some spiritual meaning.

“Maybe a little less bleached, but I could do something similar.”

“I can’t believe I’m engaging in this conversation,” Regulus started, “but I don’t hate it.”

Dorcas looked impressed. “Wow, Regulus not hating something. You better do it now, Ev.”

Evan sighed, throwing a glare at Barty. “Fuck it. Let’s do it, Pandora.”