Salvation

Hermione's POV

I find myself once again in the Eberkopf Bar, reflecting on the past. After the war, I decided to repeat the last year of school and complete my NEWTs. Ron and Harry started their Auror training after the war, and I haven't heard from my best friends in a long time. Communication is challenging as Ron and Harry are always busy with their training, and when they're not training, they spend time with their girlfriends. I can't blame them. If I had someone, I would also like to spend time with them. But that's the problem – I have no one.

Since graduation, I've been seeing Luna and Ginny less and less. Their lives are moving forward, but I seem to be stuck. I received many job offers from the Ministry, but nothing seemed to suit me. Since the war, I find it hard to fall asleep. I spend most nights lying awake in bed, thinking too much. When my body finally allows me to sleep, nightmares haunt me – dreams of the war, the losses we suffered, the Horcruxes, and Malfoy Manor.

Bellatrix Lestrange, now Black, has been acquitted. It turns out she was a double agent for the Order, like Snape. All these years, she deceived others, which couldn't have been easy. The scar on my arm burns at the thought of her. Bellatrix contacted me and offered to remove the scar and all the suffering associated with it. But I wasn't ready. I'm still not. This scar helps me process many things. The throbbing pain helps calm me and reminds me of what I've already achieved. Perhaps one day I'll be ready.

Aberforth interrupts my thoughts: "Hey, Hermione, we're closing soon," he says a bit impatiently.

"What already? What time is it?" It can't be that late.

"It's 4:45. Do you want anything else, or can I close the bar?" he asks.

"No, thanks. I think I've had enough."

I get up, realizing how much I must have had to drink. But it doesn't matter; you only live once. I take a taxi to my apartment. Yes, I take a TAXI; I can't Apparate when I'm drunk; that would be irresponsible.

Struggling to open the door, I finally manage after 5 minutes. My cat greets me at the door. I pick him up: "Don't look at me like that; you'll get something to eat soon," I tell him.

I feed Crookshanks and head to bed. Surprisingly, I fall asleep quickly. Alcohol helps with falling asleep and fighting nightmares. The first time I wake up, it's 10:00. I check the clock and go back to sleep. The second time, I wake up at 2:00. I decide to get up now as I'm meeting my friends at 4:00. I'm excited to see the whole gang again.

I shower and eat the leftovers from yesterday. I grab my book and start reading. I have an hour until the meeting, and I gladly spend these precious minutes on my favorite activity. When the clock shows 3:30, I'm a bit nervous. I get ready and Apparate to the Burrow.

The first person I see is Molly. When she turns around and sees me, I get a heartfelt hug. "Hermione, it's so nice to see you. You look thin; are you eating enough? Come, I'll give you something to take home. How are you? What are you doing these days?" Molly asks me with a motherly tone.

She bombards me with many questions, which I answer as best as I can. Then I hear familiar voices on the stairs. It's Ginny and Harry. "Oh, Hermione, come here, you little thing. I've missed you so much," says Ginny, hugging me tightly.

"Hey, I missed you too," Harry joins in, embracing both of us.

There's a group hug, and soon more guests arrive through the door. "Hey, what's all this hugging without me? Come here, all of you," and Ron has joined our hug.

"Hello, everyone," Lavender waves from the door.

Now everyone is talking at once, the mood is light and carefree. Molly calls us to the table and serves a delicious chicken. During the meal, everyone talks about their new jobs or training, future plans, children's wishes, possible engagements. Then comes the question I feared.

"Hermione, how about you? What are you doing at the moment?" Ron asks.

"Oh, I couldn't decide; I got so many offers. Right now, I'm a bit in between everything, trying to decide for next year," I mumble.

No one seems satisfied with my answer. "And how is love? A girl like you surely has many admirers," Ginny continues.

"Oh, I don't have time for that; I need to focus on finally deciding on a path for myself," I lie.

Even with this answer, no one seems satisfied, but they leave me alone. I feel bad. Not about the food – it's delicious – but about myself. Right now, I don't like myself much, and these questions haven't helped my self-esteem. It doesn't help that everyone at the table is cuddling with their partners. I feel uncomfortable. I long for a glass of Firewhiskey.

"Hey, guys, I think I'll leave now. I have to get up early tomorrow," I announce.

"No, don't go yet, please," Harry protests.

"It's only 10:00," Ron says.

"Yes, but guys, I'm really sorry, I have to go to bed early tonight," I continue to lie.

I already feel a little bad lying to everyone, but I just want to get away from here. I say my goodbyes, and Molly gives me a whole chicken, which I'll probably eat tomorrow. I Apparate to my apartment and put the food in the fridge. Now, off to the Eberkopf.

"Hey, I thought you weren't coming today?" Aberforth asks as I enter.

"Yeah, I know. I don't feel comfortable among all these happy couples. I need a whiskey for that," I say. I see Aberforth giving me an understanding smile and responding, "Coming right up."

It doesn't stop at one whiskey; soon, half the bottle is empty. My worries... What worries? I love this feeling; it's like floating in another dimension. I think someone is trying to have a conversation with me. I only see a blurry silhouette and lips moving in my direction. Then suddenly, everything goes black.