The Interview
Barty folded his arms, leaning back in his swivel chair as he stared at the man across the room, awkwardly sitting in the purple bean bag chair that made him significantly lower than Barty. There were a multitude of other chairs in the waiting room, of course, but Barty had told him to sit in that specific chair just so Barty would be taller.
It was absolutely laughable to him, seeing the former quidditch star/head boy shuffling in a tiny bean bag, frowning at the stale smell of weed and tobacco in the air, as he waited for an interview to work for an old classmate he clearly did not recognise in the slightest.
“Just five minutes longer”, Barty called out to him.
He turned, smiling wide, “Alright, thank you.”
Fuck, he was polite. He was even wearing a suit, tie and all. Had he mistaken this place for the ministry or something? Barty glared at him, but he easily kept the smile on. He seemed more like the sort of people that his dad hired as interns, why the fuck wasn’t he doing that?
Barty glanced as the man picked up one of the art folders laid out on the waiting room table, slowly flicking through the pages.
“Do you do any of the tattoos?”
“You mean am I a tattoo artist?”
He nodded, leaning forward in the stupid bean bag seat, as if he honestly cared about the answer.
Barty tapped the desk with a nod, “I do.”
He made an ‘o’ shape with a man, before moving back into a stupid smile, and turning the page once more.
“Are any of them in here?”
“They are?”
“Really? Which ones?” And then he was standing up, folder in hand as he walked over to Barty’s desk.
He carefully placed the book on the desk, nudging it towards him so he could show his work.
Barty closed the book, and handed it back.
He frowned.
“It’s all mine. I’m the only one that works here.”
The ‘o’ shape returned, followed by a quick nod and then a new facial reaction- a small frown.
“Then why am I waiting so long for this interview? Because I assumed you were the receptionist and the person interviewing me was busy with a customer or something. But if you’re the only one here, then that means you’re interviewing me but you don’t seem very busy or anything since you’ve just spent the past fifteen minutes staring at me.”
Barty raised his eyebrows.
The man let out a sigh, hand combing through his hair, “Merlin, that was rude, wasn’t it? I probably shouldn’t be rude to the person who decides whether I get the job or not. I’m sorry, I think I’m just a bit nervous- it’s my first job, you see. I know in my CV it says I’m twenty which means it’s been two years since I left Hogwarts, but my family is quite rich so I didn’t really need to try to find a job straight away.”
“You talk a lot.”
He grinned, “I know. Did you want me to shut up? I will, you just have to ask.”
Barty folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, with a small shake of his head, “Nah.”
“You seem around the same age as me, we were probably at Hogwarts together. What house were you in?”
“Ravenclaw.”
“I can see that. I was Gryffindor- same as my parents. And both sets of my grandparents. Which is funny because my best mate’s family were actually all in Slytherin, but he was the first in practically centuries to end up in Gryffindor. Did you play quidditch? I was actually the captain, it was good practice in responsibility. I played as a chaser, although I would say I’m pretty good at the keeper and beater positions as well. Couldn’t be a seeker for the life of me, though, never had that kind of patience. I was actually head-”
Barty let out an aggravated sigh, “I remember you, James.”
“Oh… I feel bad I don’t remember you, now.”
“Barty Crouch Junior.”
James made that ‘o’ shape with his mouth again, “The kid who set fire to the Charms classroom?”
He nodded, “That's what I’m known for, is it?”
James laughed, “It was big news. My best mate had turned Filch’s cat into a chicken at the time and he felt very overshadowed.”
“Sirius Black?”
“Yeah”, James lifted his hand to his hair again, brushing it backwards and achieving to make it stick up in various directions, “were we that memorable?”
Barty leaned back in his seat, “Well you did run around the school pulling pranks, trying to get attention.”
“We didn’t do it for attention, it was just for some fun, a creative outlet.”
“And your creative outlet has now changed to piercings, has it?”
James shrugged, “My mum did piercings when she was younger so she taught me. And I saw one of your leaflet’s looking for a piercer so I thought I’d apply.”
“What have you been doing since you finished Hogwarts?”
“Is this the interview? Just- it seems like an interview but you said we weren’t doing the interview yet.”
Barty let out a small laugh, “This is the interview.”
“Right. Well, as I said, I haven’t had a job yet, I scored top marks in all my n.e.w.t’s so I had a lot of options, job-wise, but there just weren't any career paths I really wanted to do, that I cared about enough. I’ve mostly been travelling around, I actually went to Mumbai to visit family for a while, and I did a lot of piercings there for my cousins and some family friends.”
“Why do you want this job? If you have enough money to live comfortably without working, why look for a job now?”
James’ hand went up to his hair, pulling at the strands again, “Sirius got a job. And now it’s like all my friends have jobs and I’m just sitting at home waiting for them to be free to hang out and I feel like I just need to do something. And I enjoy piercing, I find it really calming and I love how happy people are afterwards, especially with kids, they get so excited about it.”
Barty stared at him for a moment, a grimace on his face, before he shuffled in his seat and let out a sigh, “Tomorrow. Come in at 3pm for a trial. If you do a good job, then I’ll give you the job.”
James grinned, “Class, I’ll be there. See ya, Barty.”
Barty stared at James’ retreating back, the door clanging shut as the little bell at the top chimed. He turned to the fireplace behind his desk, grabbing a handful of floo powder and calling out an address before sticking his head into the green flames.
Regulus crouched down in his living room, glaring at Barty’s face, “What do you want?”
“Do you wanna get an ear piercing tomorrow? I’m hiring a piercer and need someone to see if he’s actually good or not before I hire him.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Oh come on! Shakespeare had his ear pierced!”
Regulus tutted, “Shakespeare was also a sycophant and lower class.”
“Are you telling me you’re not a sycophant?” Barty snorted.
Regulus ignored him, “I am not getting my ear pierced, especially by some inexperienced stranger who’d probably end up giving me tetanus.”
“Fine… I’ll ask Cas.”
“Why not Evan or Pandora? Evan carelessly gets holes and doodles on his body often, and Pandora has no regard for her own wellbeing.”
Barty huffed, “What if they get tetanus, Reg? I’m not willing to risk that.”
“But you’re willing to risk me and Dorcas?”
He shrugged, “Yeah.”
“Goodbye, Barty. And stop calling me for such unnecessary reasons.”
“Wait- I haven’t even told you who the piercer is yet!”
Regulus stared blankly at Barty, “I don’t care.”
He turned away from his fireplace, and the flames burned away.
Barty stood up, turning back to his desk, “Prick.”