Cursed

Luna stepped forward and took Ianto’s hand.  She reached up with her other hand and patted his cheek before going up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss there.  “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Well, I don’t think that’s called for,” he protested.

“No,” she stepped back but kept hold of his hand.  “It is.  But it’s not entirely your fault.  You just believe some things that aren’t quite true.  But we can fix that, if you’re willing to take our word for a couple of things.  Can you do that?”

Ianto searched her face, utterly baffled.  He had an inkling of what she was alluding to, but that meant he’d have to hear – and believe! – some positive things about himself.  He wasn’t entirely certain he could do that, though his confidence had been slowly rebuilding itself over the past weeks.

“I’ll try,” he said, wondering what she was going to say.

Luna gave his hand a squeeze and led him over to the desk Jack was leaned against.  She gestured for both of them to sit, and they unconsciously leaned into one another, eliciting a sound not unlike a purr from the patronus.

“The two of you are far more alike than either of you may suspect,” she began, looking from one to the other.  “But there a few things you need to realize.”  At their curious looks, she shook her head.  “You really don’t see it, do you?  You both have all of those qualities!  No, don’t interrupt me, and don’t you dare argue with me.  Each of you sees all of these characteristics in the other, but what you need to hear right now is that the rest of us see all of them in both of you.”

“It may be difficult to see these things in ourselves,” Professor McGonagall strode over to stand beside Luna.  “But until you can accept your own traits, please trust that we, who are separate and – on the whole, unbiased – see them in you.”  She met each man’s gaze and held it until he reluctantly nodded.  She smiled when Jack raised his hand.  “Yes?”

“I’m not a cat,” he said.  “I’ve always seen myself as more accipitrine.”

“Raptorial?” Ianto asked, his lips quirking when Jack nodded vigorously.  “Okay, but the feeling I get from that,” he gestured towards the patronus, “is how you make me feel.”

“What?” Jack frowned.

Ianto sighed heavily and looked at Jack, his eyes pained but earnest.  “You’re the only thing that has made me feel safe since the Carrow’s took me,” he said, his voice so low that only Jack, Luna, and Professor McGonagall heard him.  “And that’s how this patronus makes me feel.  So that’s why I know it’s you.”

“Oh, Love,” Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto and held him close, kissing his hair.  Ianto returned the embrace, and after a few moments, they released one another and sat facing Luna and the professor, once more.

“Ianto, one of the things I’ve learned about you in the past few weeks is that you’re not unimaginative,” Luna chided. 

“I would guess it’s more a lack of confidence than imagination,” Professor McGonagall put in.  “It might have occurred to him, but then he immediately discounted it as impossible.”

“True,” Luna nodded thoughtfully.

“What?” Ianto asked, trying not to sound impatient.  But really, so many personal things had been broadcast in front of this group in the past few weeks, he wondered if they realized how exposing that could feel.  He smiled when Jack took his hand and began running his thumb over the back of it, immediately comforting him.

“I’m sorry, Smoke,” Luna sighed.  “I’m not trying to give you a hard time.  But you really don’t know?”

“Know what?” Ianto asked, and this time a bit of frustration lanced through his tone.

“Sorry,” Luna repeated, taking his free hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.  “Sorry, I’ll stop.”  She sighed, then looked to Professor McGonagall, who nodded encouragingly.  “I think, because Jack has helped you to feel safe, and now that you have your magic back and can start tapping into your confidence, the patronus has taken a form that embraces characteristics that you both share.”

Ianto looked at Jack, who smiled.  It had been easier for the older man to hear and accept this, but he would help Ianto talk it through and process what Luna was telling them.  She smiled at them both before continuing.

“But ultimately, the patronus is yours, Ianto.  So the animal that has those characteristics that is most reflective of your nature is a cat.”

“But the eyes,” Ianto said, gesturing towards the panther, who was still sitting there, not yet dissipated despite the distraction of the conversation.  He rather liked the idea Luna was proposing, but the creature’s eyes were Jack’s.

“Sweetheart,” Luna’s voice was gentle.  “What better protector for you than a creature who sees you through Jack’s eyes?”

Ianto’s eyes widened as the truth of Luna’s words struck home.  He felt Jack’s hand on his shoulder, steadying him as the world tilted a bit before righting itself, once more.  He wasn’t certain what exactly was so disorientating, other than how beautiful and profound and complex his magic was, to take all of those ingredients and mix them so perfectly.  He looked back to the patronus again, feeling immense affection for it – and let’s face it, its azure-eyed inspiration.

He felt amusement along the bond and turned to Jack.

“What?”

“First the wand, then the owl, and now the cat,” Jack sighed.  “I feel myself slipping further and further down the ladder to your affections.”

“Twpsyn,” Ianto chuckled.  “Only you could be jealous of yourself.”

“Hey, I know how stiff that competition can be,” Jack replied, waggling his eyebrows, and Ianto snorted as Luna giggled and Professor McGonagall turned away, rolling her eyes.

“Hard to beat?” Ianto asked, completely straight-faced.

“Oh, yes.  I might even need a hand,” Jack conceded as they fell into a familiar rhythm of banter and innuendo.

“Sounds like you might not be up for it,” Ianto frowned.  “Should I be concerned?”

“You’d be hard pressed to stop me,” Jack replied, looking a bit indignant.

“I think perhaps you mistook my meaning, Sir,” Ianto smirked.

“You were implying that I might be going soft.”

“No, you were inferring that I was questioning the firmness of your… resolve.”

“And were you?”

“Well,” Ianto began, but he was interrupted by Professor Dankworth.

“Merlin’s beard, how do you two get any work done, spouting such nonsense all the day long?”  He sounded exasperated, but it was clear he was trying not to laugh.  The others had no such reservations.

Ianto shrugged, and he and Jack said in unison, “Torchwood.”

“It’s a tough job,” Jack added.  “You blow off steam where you can.”

“Do not start that again!” Professor McGonagall admonished, and Jack stared at her, blank-faced, until Ianto started laughing.  When he realized what he’d said, Jack joined in.

***

They spent the afternoon learning about Ianto’s patronus, and he cast the charm several more times before they stopped for the day.  After a hearty meal and an evening of laughter, games, and conversation in the common room, Jack and Ianto retired to their room, where Ianto spent several hours worshiping Jack’s skin.

He kissed, caressed, licked, nipped, and whispered the most beautiful Welsh nonsense into the soft expanses of honeyed skin, taking his time and making sure Jack felt his love and gratitude.  Jack, already humbled by the knowledge that he was the one who had made Ianto feel safe in a terrifying world full of enemies and devoid of magic, accepted the praise and thanks and in turn, he could only reiterate his vow to always protect his lover.

By the time they finally fell into a sweaty, sated heap in the middle of the bed, Ianto was satisfied that he had got his point across.  For his part, Jack was surprised he could still move.

They both slept exceptionally well that night.  Ianto’s recovery had been slow but steady, and though he was much stronger, he still needed a great deal of rest and frequent breaks during his magical refresher lessons. 

The next day was a Sunday, and the others were off to visit family and take care of chores that had been left neglected during their sojourn at Hogwarts.  Jack and Ianto, whose chores were thankfully on hold for the duration, had no such worries or obligations, so they had resolved to have a lie-in, followed by a lazy day with perhaps a short walk, at some point.

Jack had set his book on the night table on his side of the bed (and wasn’t that a kick in the head?), so he was prepared for a morning of reading and Ianto-watching.  But Ianto had done such a good job of wearing Jack out the night before that he had only just fully wakened when he felt Ianto snuffling against his chest.  He shivered at the sensation, even as he reveled in it.

“Morning,” he said as Ianto yawned and stretched before returning resolutely to where he was draped over Jack’s chest.

“Mmmm,” the younger man hummed, and it sounded so much like a purr that Jack couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Perhaps it was the image of Ianto’s patronus still at the forefront of his mind, or perhaps the patronus had merely solidified an already existing notion Jack had, to his regret, neglected until this moment.  But now he couldn’t get it out of his head, and he was fairly certain that from here on, Ianto would forever be associated with a feline.

The man in question, whose reaction to this revelation Jack couldn’t guess, lifted his head and gave Jack a soft kiss before flopping back down, declaring, “’s too early.”

Jack turned his head and looked at the clock sat on the night table on Ianto’s side of the bed.  “It’s just gone nine,” he remarked.  When Ianto didn’t reply, he ran a hand down the younger man’s bare arm.  “Tell you what.  How about we get up, shower, and have a bite to eat, then you can lie back down and nap while I read.”

“Five more minutes,” Ianto muttered, barely intelligible.  His hand was on Jack’s side, hugging the older man to him.  Jack became momentarily distracted as a restless thumb smoothed back and forth along his rib.  Too soon, the tender movement slowed, like a battery-reliant mechanism running out of juice.

Thankfully, Jack’s book was within reach (this was not the best angle for optimum Ianto-watching), so he read for a bit, deciding to finish the chapter before rousing his sleeping beauty.  As he finished, he felt the call of his stomach (and bladder), so he felt little remorse in gently rousing his lover.

“Ianto?” he asked, his voice pitched low as he ran a hand through the younger man’s hair.

“Mmmm,” came the snuffling reply after a few minutes of Jack’s gentle ministrations.

“C’mon, Love.  We should get up.”

With obvious effort, Ianto lifted his head and raised sleepy blue eyes to meet Jack’s.  There was a hint of a smile on those tempting lips, and he leaned forward and kissed Jack.  It was a soft, sweet kiss, the kind that Jack loved, and he found himself on the happily receiving end of a series of them, as though Ianto couldn’t bear the thought of one ending, so he simply began another, straight away.

Once again, Jack found himself admiring Ianto’s problem-solving skills.

When Ianto leaned back, he was smiling.  His eyes still looked sleepy, but they also looked fond and full of love and joy.  Jack had never seen such a happy expression on Ianto’s face, and he decided he wanted it to become a fixture.

“Hello, Kitty,” Jack grinned, and even as he heard it aloud, he realized that it would never do.

The smile faltered and a frown line appeared between Ianto’s eyebrows, confirming Jack’s instinct.

“Okay, so maybe Kitty, without the ‘Hello’?”  At Ianto’s dubious look, he added, “And never in front of anyone.” 

“And in front of others?” Ianto asked, the frown easing but giving Jack no illusions that this negotiation was in any way finished.

“Love,” Jack smiled, knowing Ianto liked that one, and he secretly rejoiced when that little smile returned.  “My Love, Lover,” he hesitated before adding, “Kit?”

“Maybe,” Ianto snuffled back into Jack’s chest, looking for all the world as though he was planning to settle in for another sleep.  “Better than ‘cub’, I suppose.”

***