Cursed

Ianto got Toshiko to help him remove the cover from the coffee machine.  She rinsed the parts and helped him flush the system while he dug out one of his special blends.  Soon there was a pot brewing.  He let Tosh take cups to Gwen, Owen, and her own desk while he took two mugs up to Jack’s office.

Jack closed out his call and gave Ianto a look.  “You’re meant to stay away from stimulants,” he said.  Ianto didn’t reply but nodded to Jack’s mug.  Jack took a sip and let out one of his pornographic moans at the mug of bliss he’d been missing for more than a month.

“Good?” Ianto asked, smirking, and Jack realized the younger man was nurturing a Pavlovian response to that smirk as his cock twitched.

“Heaven, as you’re well aware,” Jack replied, but frowned.  “But seriously.  Susan was really clear.”

“Relax, it’s decaf,” Ianto replied.

Jack stared at him, then took another sip. 

“No way.”

“You really think I give you lot the good stuff at midnight after a long day?” Ianto asked, unsure whether he should have just divulged one of his last secrets.

Jack stared at him, realizing that what Owen had always referred to as that ‘last call’ cup of coffee was decaf.  Now it was his turn to smirk.  “And you’re confessing this now, why?”

“So you’ll let me drink it in peace,” Ianto stated the obvious, raising his mug to his lips with another smirk.  Jack huffed a laugh and watched his lover close his eyes and savor the deep, rich flavor.  He opened his eyes and sighed with pleasure.  “You know, Neville didn’t like coffee.”

Ianto had taken to speaking of his former self in the third person.  Jack couldn’t decide if he was dissociating or if he had finally let go of the past, showing he was ready to embrace his current reality and therefore his future.  Given how well Ianto seemed to be doing, Jack was hopeful it was the latter.

“You’re doing it again,” Ianto remarked, taking another drink.

“What?” Jack asked.

“You’re wondering if it’s healthy to refer to Neville as a different person.”  He laughed at the look on Jack’s face, but then turned serious.  “Please don’t worry.  I had a long talk with Susan about it.  Neville is gone.  The only thing left of him are my memories, all of which I own completely.  It’s just a logical division that helps me to distinguish between what I’ve lost and what I can still have.”

“Okay,” Jack nodded.  He knew from his own conversations with Susan that Ianto was mostly solid now, so he decided to set aside his concerns.  He’d perhaps become too used to worrying about his lover, but Ianto was improving every day.  The fatigue seemed to be the last major hurdle, and while it would likely plague him for some months to come, it was so much less to worry about than what they’d already faced.

“Okay,” Ianto smiled, a bit surprised Jack had surrendered his concern so easily, but relieved, nonetheless.

They ordered lunch and enjoyed spending time with the team.  Jack had explained to them about Ianto’s role in the Second Wizarding War and how he had been captured and cursed.  He had not gone into any detail about the curse-breaking, other than to describe it as harrowing, and the haunted look in his eyes as he said that much was enough to convince them of its truth.  Once they finished their food, Ianto asked if there was anything they wanted to know.

“Go on, then,” Gwen challenged.  “Show us a magic trick.”

Ianto felt his blood heat.  Not quite anger, not even annoyance.  Warning of a challenge?  He frowned.  Was this the dragon’s gift?  The unicorn had given a similar gift, after all. He almost always knew when someone was lying.  And the thing he couldn’t identify but had always just called ‘luck’.  He was curious how that would unfold, but his thoughts were interrupted.

“He’s a wizard, Gwen, not a magician” Toshiko said, and Ianto was surprised at how little patience she seemed to have with the Welshwoman.  Her next words explained at least some of her exasperation.  “We did explain it when we did the debriefing on the events of… that night,” she spared Ianto a sympathetic glance and received a gentle smile, in return.  “Actually, I’m becoming a bit concerned.”  She turned to Owen.  “Might Gwen have an undiagnosed learning disability?”

Ianto had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.  His masks were harder to maintain at the moment, and it wouldn’t do, to add fuel to the fire.  He very pointedly avoided looking at Jack, whose impassive gaze never left his face.  He wasn’t certain what Jack was looking for, but he was afraid his lover would be angry if he laughed at Toshiko challenging Gwen.

“Don’t insult the learning disabled,” Owen chided as Gwen protested.

“Oi!  It’s not my fault there’s this whole secret world that no one bothered to tell me about!  And why isn’t anyone talking about the fact that this was something else Ianto was lying to us about?”

“Owen, I think Toshiko might be right,” Jack said, his voice liquid rage.  Ianto got up to go get more coffee, keeping an attentive ear on his lover’s words.  “I know I explained how the curses worked, and you all witnessed the effects.  I’m beginning to share Tosh’s concern that Gwen might be having some difficulty.  Please check her hearing, as well.”

“Her hearing is fine; the problem is, she refuses to listen to anything she doesn’t want to hear,” Owen said, watching Ianto closely as the younger man began to brew more coffee.  He was relieved when Tosh went over to help him.

“The problem is,” she came in over him, “is that we only have those people’s word for it that Ianto couldn’t tell us.  What if…”

“What if what, Gwen?” Jack asked, and she finally recognized his ire.  “Sweet goddess, there’s so much in that to unpack!”  He shook his head, incredulous.  “Those people?  Really?  I’m putting you on notice right now, Operative Cooper.  Xenophobes have no place on my team.”

“Jack!” she exclaimed, making her eyes wide and innocent.

“I am talking, Gwen!” he almost shouted, and her mouth snapped shut.  “You saw for yourself how that curse literally tore him apart as he tried to tell those people who he had been to them.  He couldn’t have told us he was a wizard because of the curses.  And even if he could have told us, he couldn’t have proved it because he was spellbound.  And what grand conspiracy do you think he was perpetrating, in the first place?”

“He brought that thing…”

“Enough!” Jack roared.  “Are you actually saying that you are the only one worthy of forgiveness here?”

“No, of course not,” she backpedaled.  “I just…”

“You just what?” Jack spat.

“Jack, it’s alright,” Ianto said, placing the tray of coffees down on the coffee table.  Owen fell upon his like a lion bringing down a gazelle.  Toshiko resumed her seat, drinking her coffee more daintily.  “She’s not wrong.  I betrayed you all, and she has to live with the memory of being trapped in that conversion unit.  That’s not a good memory to carry.”

“What?” Jack blinked.  What did that mean?

“But I did apologize,” Ianto turned to Gwen, who began to look awkward.  “And you said you accepted my apology.  I thought we could move on, but it seems like maybe you don’t actually want to forgive me.”

“No, I did!  I do,” she admitted, deflated.  “It’s just… finding out another secret – and I get it, you couldn’t tell us – but it shook me, and brought all of that back.”  She sighed.  “I’m sorry, pet.”

Ianto cringed (inwardly) at the nickname, but gave her a nod, acknowledging the apology, which seemed sincere.  He sat down on the sofa next to Jack and cradled his coffee in both hands.

“Should you be drinking that?” Owen asked.  Jack had mentioned that exhaustion was the last of the issues Ianto had to recover from.  “Simulants are a really bad idea in your state, you know.”

“I’m allowed small amounts,” Ianto obfuscated.  “You know, for morale.”

Owen nodded.  “I’d like to consult with your… they’re called Healers, right?  Yeah.  I’d like to consult with your Healer, so I can update your medical file.”

“We’ll arrange that when we return,” Jack said, trying not to laugh as Ianto realized he might be caught in his decaf lie.

The tension seemed to ease in the hub, and Jack returned to his office, Gwen trailing behind.  Ianto brewed one last pot of coffee and put it in a carafe that would keep it warm for a few hours and then enlisted Tosh’s help in cleaning the machine before putting the cover back over it.  He sat back on the sofa, where Tosh sat beside him.  Owen rolled his chair over, and they settled in for a quiet conversation.

They did have questions about Ianto being a wizard, but they knew enough about the wizarding world that their questions were well-informed.  Tosh asked if he’d needed a new wand, and he spent an entertaining few minutes describing that process.  He wasn’t as good a raconteur as Jack, but he did the story justice.  He even showed them the wand, when Owen asked if they could see it.  He declined to let them touch it, though.  It was too new for him not to still feel very possessive of it.

“Don’t feel bad, he hasn’t let me hold his wand either,” Jack said, rejoining them.  “Well, not that one, at any rate.”

Owen snorted, Toshiko giggled, and Ianto blushed.  Gwen chose to scold.

“Don’t be vulgar, Jack.”

“Actually, that was incredibly subtle, for Jack,” Toshiko managed between giggles, and the others laughed along.  Even Gwen joined in, after a moment.  Ianto was slightly confused at her change in attitude, but another flare of heat told him he didn’t have to wonder, for long.

“You ready to go?” Jack asked.  At Ianto’s nod, he looked at the others.  “See you lot tomorrow.”

“What?” Owen asked.

“Well, being as we’re in Cardiff the next few days, I figured I could come in and get some things done,” Jack explained, and Ianto felt a trickle of foreboding.  “Ianto’s been sleeping a lot, so he won’t miss me.”

Ianto glanced at Gwen, who didn’t even bother to hide her smug smile.  In a split second, he dug deep and slammed his masks back into place and envisaged a cog wheel door between him and the bond with Jack. 

Jack gave a small gasp of shock at Ianto shutting him out.  He reached out, but there was nothing.  The bond was still there, though Ianto had stopped strumming it.  He could tell Ianto was still feeling him, but he could feel nothing from his lover.  He was completely baffled.

“Why start tomorrow?” Ianto asked, keeping his voice light, and all of the others looked at him, shocked by his words.  “You go ahead and stay, Jack.  I’ll find my own way home.”  He stood and made to leave.

“Ianto?” Jack followed him to the cog wheel door.  “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Sir,” Ianto said, his face completely blank.

Jack frowned.  “You really think I should stay?”

“Clearly, it’s not what I think that matters,” Ianto said, feeling incredibly weary.

“Let me take you home,” he offered, taking Ianto’s arm.

“Actually, I think I’d prefer to walk,” Ianto said, pulling away from Jack.

“Tell you what,” Jack said, warming to the idea of being back in the hub for a few hours.  “I’ll bring home your favorite curry from that Indian place you like so much.”

“No, don’t bother,” Ianto said.  “I’ll fix something.  You eat with the team.  I know you want to.”

Jack frowned.  “If you’re sure,” he said.

“Goodbye, Jack,” Ianto sighed and left.  Jack was too busy trying to put his finger on why Ianto seemed so deflated that he didn’t even notice his lover didn’t kiss him goodbye.

***