Cursed

After a moment’s reflection, Augusta said, “I was harder on the boy than he deserved.  Because he was so unlike my Franklin.  I knew what to do with Franklin, you see.  And when Neville came along, so completely different from his father, I had no idea what to do.  I had been prepared to be a grandmother, but not a mother, again.  And I didn’t take to the role as I should have.”

She reached out and very tentatively ran a hand through Ianto’s hair, relieved when he sighed and leaned into her touch as she continued, “It took me a long time to realize that Neville was not my chance to have my Franklin back.  And it was incredibly unfair to try to force that on the boy.  Of course, by the time I realized that, he had come into his own.  Leading the resistance at the school.  I was so proud.  And not because he was acting as I thought Franklin would have, but because he was acting as I had always known Neville could.” 

“Of course,” she added with a sigh, “I now realize that the thing holding him back was that his confidence had been so terribly shaken.  By Algernon’s abuse.  By my own scolding.  By everyone who demanded that he be something that he wasn’t.  And it seems a great tragedy that as he finally found himself he was forced to become something else, again.”

“But there’s a difference,” Jack noted.  At her curious look, he went on, speaking slowly as he thought it through, “He became Neville when everyone stopped trying to force him to be Frank.  And then he became Ianto when Neville was stripped away from him.  It’s not really the same thing, because each time he was able to choose.  He became himself despite everything in school, in the war.  And now, he’s become himself again, despite the curses.  He actually used the curses to anchor himself as Ianto.”

“He was always an extraordinarily intuitive boy, though he never trusted his instincts.  And I recognize exactly who is to blame for that,” she said sadly.  “But everything I have heard so far tells me that the man he chose to be when he could no longer be Neville is a good man.”

“He is,” Jack assured her.  “He is one of the strongest, most resilient men I know.  And one of the most courageous,” he added, giving a chuckle before sharing with her how Ianto had faced down a cranky pterosaur with nothing more than a bar of chocolate and a bit of banter about serotonin.

Augusta let out a quiet whoop of laughter at the story, secretly marveling at how very Neville that sounded before once again disciplining her mind and reminding herself how very Ianto that was, because Jack had made it clear that it had been a very Ianto thing to do.  And as Jack told a few more stories, allowing Ianto to rest, she found herself reveling in the differences as much as the similarities.

Ianto had been drifting along, half-dozing but still listening to the conversation taking place between two of his favorite people.  And he heard in their voices Jack’s love and protection and his grandmother’s acceptance and affection.  And his mind was set at ease in a way he hadn’t known it could be.

Jack felt the tension draining from Ianto’s body and fully expected the younger man to sink more deeply into sleep.  So he was surprised when Ianto roused from his doze, instead.  He sat away from Jack, rubbing his eyes in that little boy way that made Jack want to bundle him off to bed for an entirely different purpose than sleep.  Unable to entirely resist, Jack reached out and gave his lover a modest kiss.

“Better?” he asked.

Ianto nodded, still trying to fully waken.

“Sorry,” he said.

“You’ve nothing to apologize for, my boy,” Augusta said, her voice almost cheerful, and Ianto looked at her, trying to mask his surprise. 

She gave him as generous a smile as she could manage, and he recognized the effort. 

“We have a great deal to discuss,” she stated, and he nodded, knowing from her earlier words to Jack that mistakes had been made, and she realized that.  And he realized.  He wasn’t certain there was anything else to say, really.  So he reached out and took her hand.

“It’s alright,” he said.  “I understand.”

“I promise, you were never a disappointment, Ianto,” she assured him.  “And I am truly sorry for the pain that I inflicted and allowed,” she added.  “I did try to shield you from Algernon.”

“Seems like you did,” Ianto said.  “I only saw him once, after… that day.”

“I suppose,” she said, reluctant to let herself off the hook, though she had truly tried to keep Algernon away from Neville, once she realized how horrid his behavior towards the boy had been.  By comparison, she had not recognized her own behavior at the time, and for that she knew she would continue to apologize, but she had tried to protect the boy from the abuse she had recognized.  She supposed that was something.

Ianto gave her hand a squeeze, letting her know that it was more than just something.

“I’ve missed you, Gran,” he said, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“And I have missed you, my boy,” she replied, giving him a rare smile before taking a bracing breath.  “Now,” she said, changing the subject again and giving his hand another squeeze.  “How long has it been since you’re seen your parents?”

“I’ve only been able to sneak back in once since the Year reset,” he said.  “And I didn’t really get to see them.  I was chased off before I could speak.”

She gave a great sigh.  “I am so sorry, for that.  And I’m sorry the curses kept us from realizing.”

Ianto shrugged a shoulder, looking down and trying to ward off another round of tears.  Everyone was being very kind and patient, and he did appreciate it.  But their kindness and compassion were only allowing the tears to fall more freely.  The potions were helping with that, as well.  And while he understood that the entire process was necessary, he was bloody tired of crying.

And he knew there were more tears to be shed, so he tried to steel himself for the emotional onslaught that he knew he must next endure.

“We were short-handed at work, so it was more difficult for me to try to visit in the months just before the Year,” he explained, “so counting the Year, it’s been about eighteen months since I’ve seen them for a proper visit.”  He looked towards where the curtains had not been completely opened.  He could see the two figures sitting up in their beds, but he could not yet see their faces. 

“I understand you have missed them terribly,” she said.  Actually, she couldn’t even imagine the deprivation of not being able to visit Frank and Alice.  She was glad he could see them, now.  She supposed it wouldn’t make a huge impact, the change in his appearance.  They hadn’t recognized him before, and they wouldn’t recognize him now, but perhaps they would take comfort in his presence.  That was what kept her visiting them, after all.

“No time like the present,” she said bracingly, sitting up straighter, but then paused.  “Are you ready?” she asked.  “Or do you need a few more moments?”

Frankly, she didn’t understand how he was even out of bed, after all he had been through.  She was glad he was trying; the attempt heartened her, just as that stubbornness showed itself.  Another similarity for her to celebrate.

“I’m ready,” he gave her a small smile before very slowly getting to his feet.  Jack hovered, not offering help but ready to provide it, if it was asked for.  Or if it was not asked for but needed, nevertheless.  Augusta appreciated the respect he was showing her grandson.  She cast a quick spell to remove the cushion and blanket, and once Ianto was steady on his feet, Jack offered him his hand.

At first, it seemed like a strange gesture.  Jack was standing to Ianto’s right and offered the younger man his right hand.  After a moment’s hesitation before admitting to himself he needed the support, Ianto reached out and placed his right hand in Jack’s. 

It all fell into place as Jack’s left hand landed on Ianto’s waist.  Jack was there to keep Ianto from falling rather than to help him walk.  His left hand steadied Ianto, and his right hand supported him, in case he might need to lean on Jack.

It was quite lovely, actually.

Bill and Susan stayed back, allowing the family a bit of privacy.  Ianto walked slowly towards the beds, and stopped just inside the curtains.  He drew in a deep breath and let go of Jack’s hand.  The older man allowed him to step forward alone, and watched as he greeted his parents.

“Mam,” Ianto said, his voice soft as he took her hand and kissed it.  She didn’t seem to register his presence, but nor did he seem troubled by that.  He gently put her hand back down and turned to his father’s bed.  “Tad,” he said, taking his father’s hand and giving it a squeeze.  “I’m so glad to see you both,” he said, his voice breaking a bit.

Augusta held a lace handkerchief to her nose, trying to hold back her tears.  She had accepted Frank’s and Alice’s fate long ago, and most of the time she could just get on with it, hoping to provide comfort to them, even if they never knew she was there.  But for Ianto to have been deprived of so much, and now that he was free to see them again, for them to not even recognize him… 

Sometimes the unfairness of it just got to be a bit too much.

Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she looked up, startled.  He was only a couple of inches taller than her, and most people would never have taken the liberty.  But then she saw the tears in his eyes and recognized that he had reached out for mutual comfort as they watched Ianto navigate the reunion, somehow able to glean joy from just seeing his parents. 

She decided to allow the impertinence.

It took her a few moments to realize what Ianto had called them.  It wasn’t what he had called them before, and she silently cursed the Carrows for taking even that away from him.  But she took comfort in how naturally he spoke.

“Hey,” he said, continuing to speak to them as though they were capable of replying.  “I brought you something, Tad.  Your favorite.”  He reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out the candy that he had asked Bill for, earlier.  He placed the liquorice wand in his father’s hand before turning back to his mother’s bed and carefully lowering himself to sit beside her, taking her hand, again.

Frank carefully unwrapped the candy wand and placed the colorful wrapper on the night table before eating the treat with relish.  Ianto watched his father enjoy the candy with a small smile before turning his attention to his mother, who was staring blankly at the wall to her left.

“You’re looking very pretty today,” he said, his voice effortlessly cheerful as he took in his mother’s red dressing gown worn over a pair of silk pyjamas with purple irises on them.  “Red is your color, I think,” he added with a smile.

“Runs in the family,” Jack said with a grin.

Ianto looked over his shoulder to smile at Jack, and his expression was the most uncomplicatedly happy thing Jack had ever witnessed in such a complicated circumstance.  He admired his lover’s heart, and in that moment, he was sure he fell in love with Ianto, all over again.

***