Nobody's Home
Thursday, 24 June 2004
Hermione and Pansy sat on Pansy's porch, with Pansy almost finished an entire bottle of wine by herself. Hermione had decided against joining, which was fine by Pansy. They talked about normal, mundane things before the conversation turned deeper. Pansy wanted to know Hermione's plans, given that there was a full moon the next week. Hermione glanced everywhere but at her friend, informing her that she hadn't found a solution yet. She knew that Harry and Ginny were getting slightly agitated with her constant presence, even if they didn't say it. They had their hands full with six-year-old Teddy, who was acting out repeatedly, and three-month-old James, who was constantly sick, and worrying about her was more than they could reasonably handle. She couldn’t put anyone she cared about in danger.
"You know, you could always marry a Sacred-28 member." Pansy slurred, breaking Hermione out of her train of thought. She looked at her friend as if she had two heads, utterly confused. Pansy continued as if talking to herself more than Hermione. "Well, think about it. You would get the name of whichever family you marry into, as well as their wealth. You would have to change your name though, for it to work." She continued to list multiple other reasons why it was a ‘perfectly acceptable option’, though Hermione was no longer listening. It was a crazy idea, but as she sat there considering it, she wasn't sure it was such a bad idea. "Plus, I imagine that any of the families would be dying to let one of their sons marry ‘The Golden Girl.’"
Hermione groaned, hating the moniker that had followed her since school. Pansy drunkenly rambled on about how fit some of them were, as well as producing a list of ‘eligible purebloods’ her mother had sent her earlier that week. The only ones Hermione recognized were Theo, Neville, and Draco Malfoy. Pansy threatened death if Hermione so much as looked in Neville's direction(though Hermione insisted that Neville was all Pansy's) and the thought of marrying Theo made her want to vomit and laugh at the same time. Not that Theo wasn't an attractive man, but she didn’t see him that way.
Hermione told her that she didn’t think that she could marry someone she didn’t love, and Pansy laughed. “My mother would tell you ‘Nobody marries for love. It’s all about what you can gain.’” They talked some more, but Pansy didn’t have a fleshed-out idea, and Hermione just pushed it to the back of her mind. After a brief farewell, Hermione went back to Harry and Ginny's house.
"Hermione, you're back!" Harry's voice called out, drawing her into the kitchen. Though she expected him to be alone given the somewhat late hour, she found that not to be true. Instead, Harry, Ginny, and Ron were there. A kettle sat between them, and as she moved to stand beside the island, Ginny poured her some tea. Nobody spoke for a while, while she sipped occasionally, glancing around between all three. She had missed her friends and was grateful for the small moments with them.
Ron was the first to speak. "So, what's the plan?"
"Plan?" she squeaked out, suddenly realizing that this wasn't a friendly visit. They had come with a goal in mind.
"Don't get us wrong, 'Mione, but we wanted to know what you were going to do. Long term." Harry glanced down, refusing to make eye contact with her. Hermione got a very bad feeling in her gut. "Oh, I'm not sure. I am trying to figure that out. Pansy had an idea, but I am not so sure about it. She said that I could-" She starts, but is cut off by Ginny's hopeful tone.
"And I bet it's an amazing idea, she was always so smart in school, seventh in your year, if I remember correctly! Maybe you could consider it, especially since we don't necessarily know what will happen within the next couple of months, right?" Ginny fake smiled at her, before it fell slightly, looking behind Hermione. Ginny made her way around the island, and Hermione turned to see Teddy standing in the doorway, a bear in one hand and the thumb of the other in his mouth. Ginny picked her adopted son up, saying a quick goodbye, before going to put him back to bed. As much as she knew that Ginny put her family first, it still pained her that she was quick to brush her off. They hadn’t been close in years, but Hermione knew that that was only her fault.
Ron quickly said goodbye as well, claiming that he had an early morning. When it was just her and Harry, she moved to clean her teacup. “What was the idea of Pansy’s?” Harry asks.
“She seems to think that if I were to marry someone belonging to the Sacred-28, that it might fix all of my problems.” Hermione heard Harry choke on his drink, and when she turned around, he was setting it down. “You? Get married? I can’t even see you in a relationship, let alone married to someone. I don’t care what Ginny said, Pansy can’t be that smart if that was her suggestion. That’s insane.” Harry clears his throat, "You know we love you, it's just... We are worried. We have the kids and-" His voice was beginning to get higher like it did when he was nervous, so Hermione cut him off. "I get it, don't worry. I'll figure something out." She quickly headed to her room.
The room she was staying in was bare, having just a simple bed, nightstand, and dresser. She hadn't even unpacked anything into the closet or dresser. If it wasn't for the fact that the bed was unmade, you wouldn't have been able to tell that anyone was staying there at all. She paced back and forth, touching each wall with the tips of her fingers. She counted silently, running what Pansy had said through her mind. It could work, but she didn't know most of them. How could she know that she wasn't walking directly into the devil's den? She had no way of knowing if she was truly safe. Even if the man she married wasn't working with Greyback, he could do anything to her. The thought made her stomach turn, and she stopped pacing.
Forty-two was the number of times her fingers touched each wall. She counted.
Hermione went through her nightly routine. She changed into muggle pajama pants, ones with cartoon characters on them, and an oversized t-shirt. Next, she triple-checked the wards she had placed in the room. Simple spells, but she didn't want there to be even the possibility of them failing. She ended her night by locking the door, via muggle and magical means.
She wasn’t sure what bothered her more, the fact that Pansy suggested she get married, or the fact that Harry said that he couldn’t see her having a romantic relationship with anyone. She knew that she hadn’t dated anyone since Ron, but it still hurt that Harry had said that. It wasn’t that she didn’t want a relationship, she just couldn’t handle one. It’s one of the reasons why she and Ron never worked out, and she would be lying if she said that he had checked off any of her boxes. He had never understood her fears, or the fact that she couldn’t sleep. She wanted someone who just knew what she needed when she needed it. Rolling over, Hermione wrapped her arms around herself. She wanted someone who would instinctually hug her without her asking, someone who could calm her just by being in the same room. Someone she felt completely safe with. Ron didn’t do any of that, and it had all come to a head four years ago on her twenty-first birthday.
19 September 2000
“Ron, can we leave now?” Hermione whispered, looking around Bewitching Hour anxiously. The pub had opened after the war and looked very modern. On one side was a bar, with a few tables. On the other side was a short stage, and a blank space people used for dancing. She didn’t particularly like the place, but Ron had insisted that they go out for her birthday. Despite being a Tuesday, the place was packed. Almost all of her friends were there, the only ones missing were the Slytherins. She couldn’t blame them though, because she doubted Ron had invited them. The room was much too full, and she couldn’t get the feeling of eyes off of her. All she wanted to do was go home and lay in bed with her boyfriend.
“Not yet, ‘Mione! The night’s just getting started!” He said, pulling her back towards the group. He handed her a glass before stepping away, and when she smelled it, found that it was Firewhiskey. She suppressed a gag, setting it back down on the table. She had never liked it and was slightly sad to know that Ron either hadn’t noticed or hadn’t cared. She watched as her friends conversed around them, her fingers tapping against her thigh. Forty-five minutes later, Ron came back to her. He took her hand and made her follow him. She assumed that they were finally about to leave, but instead, he led her up onto the stage. Her throat caught, and she couldn’t breathe. She could feel everyone looking at her, judging her.
“Hermione, you have been one of my best friends for almost ten years. These past two, have been the best ones yet. I want there to be so many more, together.” Hermione looked away as he sunk to one knee. She didn’t want this, not here. Not now. Ginny flashed her a big, giddy smile and Harry gave her a thumbs-up. By the looks on their faces, she knew that Ron had told them about this before, and neither thought to warn her. Ron cleared his throat, pulling her attention back to him. “Will you do me the honor of becoming Hermione Jean Weasley?”
She might have said yes, just to say that she had, if he hadn’t said that name. They had discussed this at length before, and she had had a firm stance that she would not be changing her name, and if she did, that it would be hyphenated. She realized she hadn’t said anything when his face fell, and she subconsciously wiped her wet cheeks. She took a step back from him, shaking her head. Without a word, she ran out of the bar, and nobody came after her.
She lay in bed, her mind spiraling, not allowing her to fall asleep. Every so often she had to get up and make sure the door was locked. It was during one of the times she was up, that she convinced herself that Pansy's idea was her only idea. She ran the mental list of names through her head, constantly snagging on one in particular. Taking a deep breath, she disapparates from her room.
Friday, 25 June 2004
Draco felt someone pop up just outside his wards. He knew it couldn’t be Theo or Pansy because they were able to apparate directly into the Manor. He spent the 15-minute walk from his room to the gates running worst-case scenarios through his mind. Draco had convinced himself that this was someone coming to get revenge for something done during the war, and he had mentally prepared himself for it. Draco had received many owls accusing him of what happened in Hogsmeade, despite being cleared by the Aurors. He stopped just a few feet away from the gate, immediately tensing. His breathing hitched and his heartbeat became erratic. Of all the things Draco imagined, this was not one of them.
Hermione Granger stood on the other side, eyes fixed on the ground. Her dark curly hair was frizzy and seemed to double every time she moved. From what he could see, her face was slightly emaciated, evidence of lack of sleep in her eyes. Her clothes were baggy, though he wasn't sure that that wasn't intentional. Draco thought she looked as lost as he felt.
~
“Why are you here?” He asked, voice devoid of any emotion. Hermione shifted her feet and forced herself to look up at him. This was the first time she had seen him face to face since the war ended. His once platinum blonde hair was dingy and stringy looking, his grey eyes were flat and still. His cheeks were hollow, the skin around his eyes a deep purple. He was lanky and taller than her. His clothes hung off of him, swallowing him whole. She noticed a slight tremor on his left side, and he fiddled with a silver ring on his hand. He looked sickly.
She knew she was scared before coming here. Scared of him, scared of Greyback, scared of everything, if she was honest with herself. But now, looking at him, truly looking at him, all she felt was sadness. An overwhelming sense of sadness. She cleared the block in her throat and stood up straighter. “It appears I require a favor.”
“A favor?”
“Yes.” He stared at her, and she knew he was waiting for her to elaborate. “I guess I should start at the beginning. Three weeks ago, I returned home to my apartment in muggle London, to find my entire living room covered-“ She pretends that she can’t feel the crack in her voice. “Covered in blood. A body was found in my bed, mauled.” She takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself. Hermione gripped her forearm tightly, her nails digging in slightly. “Um- sorry. Uh, above my bed someone had used the blood to write something. For me to find.” She looks away from him, waiting for him to process it all.
“What was it?” He asks, causing her to turn back towards him. Still refusing to meet his eyes, she mumbles her response, claiming that it doesn't matter. He insists, and Hermione can't contain herself anymore. Her eyes sting and she can't take a complete breath.
Her voice came out as a whisper, barely audible. She wipes a stray tear from her cheek. He doesn't say anything for a long while. She was beginning to believe that he hadn't heard her or simply didn't care, though if anyone knew the significance on the message, it would be Malfoy.
“How can I help you?” His voice startles her, and she jumps slightly. Clearing her throat, she replies “I need someone who can provide the means to protect myself.”
“Why can’t Potter? Or the Weasel?”
“Harry has his sons, and I don’t want to risk them by staying with him and Ginny for much longer. Ron… is not an option for the plan Pansy had.” She says, avoiding eye contact.
“An option for what?”
She clears her throat again. “Marriage.” She knew it was a crazy, risky idea. One she hadn't truly given any thought to, and in the morning would contribute solely to the nonexistent alcohol in her system, if pressed for information. Though risky, she knew it was her only option. Malfoy has an unrivaled amount of wealth, and his name carries power. He wasn’t part of the main wizarding society, but Hermione suspected that he didn’t subscribe to his father’s ideology. If anyone would be able to help her, it was him. She explained this to him as well. “Marriage.” Malfoy deadpans a cold film covering his face, removing all hint of humanity and emotion from his expression and voice. She confirms, looking down at her feet. He sits there for a few moments before nodding. “I have one condition.”
“What?” She snaps her eyes up, meeting the stone color of his. He takes a deep breath, as if centering himself. “We must live in the manor.” He gestures to the tall building behind them. It stood menacingly, the walls a dark stone, the windows cracked and dirty. The pathway and land around it were overgrown and dying. It was falling into disarray, and she could not see herself ever being able to step foot back in that place.
“You can have whatever you want. I just want to live here. As you said, I am your best option." He was right, she had said that. It didn't mean that she liked hearing someone else say it.
“No.” Clear and concise, she stands up taller, though she wants to shrink down, fighting to not fold in on herself. Anything else, literally anything other than this.
“Then good luck.” He turned around again and made it two feet before she reached out for him, hand skirting his shoulder. He flinched away from her. "Okay. We- I will stay here. That- it's fine."
Malfoy asks her about her "term" for the marriage, and when she expresses confusion, he explains that his request was to reside in the Manor, and as such he felt she could request something equally important. Hermione took in his sullen appearance, the reek of fire whiskey coming from him. She was sure that it flowed through his veins, and she instantly had her request. “I want you to stop drinking.”
When pressed for a reason, she asked why he insisted they live in the Manor. He dropped the line of questioning almost instantly, agreeing to forgo his favorite pastime. Before turning back down the path to apparate out, she made sure to give him some information she felt was important. "This is marriage in name only. We won’t sleep together, nor will I ever have your child." He nodded, something like relief flickering over his face before disappearing again.
“I’ll have a marriage contract written up and sent over.” With that, he walked away, and Hermione let him before making her way back to 12 Grimmuald Place.