Your Life is in Your Hands
Over the next week, Tom stuck to Thea in every class they shared – Potions, Transfiguration, and Herbology. He would walk her to her next period after each class and she had learned early on that there was no use denying his companionship out of guilt for taking his time.
“Please, time spent with you is a time well spent. I quite enjoy your company, Thea.”
That had given Tom another one of her shy smiles. He took delight in the soft but self-assured tone of her voice as she reciprocated his sentiments. “So do I, Tom. I’m glad to have you too.”
Oh, glad didn’t even begin to cover how Tom felt to have her. He mourned the days that could have been if they had just met earlier. If only he had approached her back when he initially took interest in her upon Slughorn’s never-ending praises of her skills, they could have had connected over their shared interest in magic and spent the years having someone to geek out with. No matter, he decided, there won’t be any more time lost for us.
Besides having gotten to know Thea’s character better, Tom had taken his chance to test the limits of her willingness to share her secrets. To his mystification, she had exceeded his expectations for it seemed that she was more than willing to tell all. When he had asked her for a reasoning as to why she had suggested the book on lordships amongst the gift, she had only inclined her head in question, eyes confident as they met his gaze.
“Well, aren’t you claiming your place?”
To blatantly tell Tom that she knew of his ancestry, that was a bold move. Knowing his identity as the heir of Slytherin could only mean that she knew that he had been the one to open Slytherin’s chamber. While he did manage to convince Dippet – and, in consequence, the rest of Hogwarts bar Dumbledore – that Hagrid’s creature had been the one terrorising the school the previous year, he doubted Thea believed the story as well; the timing of her patronus’ arrival was still too perfect to be a coincidence. Additionally, the note she had sent him at the welcome feast also insinuated that she knew of the ‘monster’ in the chamber. It wasn’t rocket science to put two and two together to conclude that Tom had unleashed the basilisk at the end of fifth year. Yet, Thea showed no condemnation of his actions. There was no hint of disapproval, disgust, nor rejection in the gazes and grins she sent him; on the contrary, she had been kind to him. Why was that?
Opting instead to clarify his status as Slytherin’s heir, Tom shelved away his confusion of her motives. “The family line has rejected their successors for ages now. I highly doubt I’ll be accepted anytime soon.”
Thea shrugged. “I disagree.” Before Tom had a chance to request a clarification, she continued, “there’s been many theories as to why that have been the case for the family and, as far as I’m aware, the majority agrees that it’s because, somewhere down the line, the family had lied about the purity of the spouse and had introduced a non-magical blood into the line.” Then, with a frown, she disdainfully commented, “they’re very adamant that the family magic only accepts purebloods- which is just bull.”
Tom raised an eyebrow at her rare exhibition of displeasure but made no move to stop her. “As opposed to those people, I’m with the lesser crowd who believes that the magic rejection is due to the frail minds of the heirs. People seem to forget, due to that one founder’s reputation, that the family used to be a line of renowned scholars. From gifted alchemists to pioneering herbologists, they were an ambitious lot – and not for nothing; they had the brains for it. But, alas, bigoted views won over their wisdom and in, comes, the practice of marrying their siblings. ‘History and the Madness Within’, you’ve read that?” At Tom’s nod, a pleased smile adorned her lips. “Then, you can guess the state of their minds – not quite ideal. It just makes more sense to me that the family magic, rich with histories of knowledge and drive for power, would choose to disinherit members who have shown to be incapable of critical thought and comprehension. Their blood is still as pure as they come and- it’s frankly just idiotic to assume that magic would care about blood purity. If that matters, then we’d see purebloods acing each and every class with perfect grades. Instead, we have you.”
Tom’s breath hitched; the pride in Thea’s grin was dazzling. Sure, Tom had seen similar expressions on his peers and teachers before, but their prides were self-served; his housemates were proud to have him as a fellow snake as that boosted their house reputation, while his teachers – Slughorn especially – were proud to have him as a student as that validated their teaching expertise. Thea, on the other hand, was simply proud of him. Something told him that even if he was to lose his spot as the top student of the year, she would still look at him with that same grin and glint in her eyes. The unconditionality of her pride sent his mind into a frenzy and his heart into uncharted territory. It was only with maximum effort that he could regain his composure and return to the conversation at hand, steadying his breath to contain his inner turmoil.
“And so, you think I’ll be accepted because I’ve derailed from the tradition far enough to be considered a capable heir with a sound mind.” Thea gave a hum of agreement and Tom gave it a moment’s thought. “I suppose that isn’t a far-fetch of a hypothesis. You’ve given very reasonable points.” But why?
As Tom considered the viability of the question, they were interrupted by a greeting call from Professor Albus Dumbledore. The pair turned to face forwards and Tom cursed the timing of the transfiguration professor’s entrance. The time before classes were the only times they could talk, however, as Tom had yet to come up with a more justified reason to seek Thea out besides ‘I want you’. He feared that she would be deterred by his possessiveness and hence, breaking apart everything they had together thus far.
It wasn’t until the next day that Tom gave another attempt in unravelling more of her secrets. Except, what it led to ended up revealing more than he could ever imagine.
Instead of immediately confronting Thea of her motives behind helping him, Tom voiced out his confusion over her recommendation of a book on Amortentia. In response, she straightened up and narrowed her eyes in focussed determination, her voice carrying in the air strongly.
“Just as I’ve implied by picking out that specific book for you, I’m a firm believer that children born under Amortentia can love and that previous research have been limited by the fact that the research subjects had all come from broken households that had taught them that love wasn’t worth pursuing. If given the opportunity to have grown up in a loving household where there was someone who loved them, these children would have learned that love was a beautiful thing, not a just a potion that led to disasters.” Here, her features softened and she bestowed upon him her empathy. Unbeknownst to Tom, her fingers had twitched on the bench where numerous potted plants stood as she fought against the urge to reach out and offer a reassuring hand to hold. “I don’t want you to think that you were born incapable of love. Everyone is capable of that and no Magic – ancient nor powerful – can interfere with that.”
Thea bit her bottom lip in worry when she received no response, save for the blankness to his stare as Tom blinked at her. It was – in her opinion – a long moment before Tom could process her words fully and a word left him in a deadpan timbre, “…me.” Only when Thea furrowed her eyebrows in discomfiture could Tom force more words out. “What makes you think I’m one of them?”
It was Thea’s turn to blink absently at him as she comprehended his words. “Did Morfin not tell you…?”
More confusion emanated from the two, thickening the air between them. At the familiarity of the name, Tom tensed up and tried to keep his voice unaffected with little success. “Morfin? Morfin Gaunt? As in the last remaining descendant of Slytherin? How would he have told me?”
“But- didn’t you…” Thoughts wrought havoc in Thea’s mind as she made sense of the situation. Tom would’ve gone to Little Hangleton over the summer break so why was he suggesting otherwise? Unless… had she scared him away from paying his family a visit? Sure, she had meant to discourage him from killing them – as of yet – and creating a horcrux but she hadn’t anticipated to have fully hindered his plans. “Ah, fuck- well,” she gave Tom a sheepish, lopsided smiled at her misassumption and upon receiving a momentary stunned look from Tom at her unashamed use of profanity, “it seems that I have made an error in judgement.”
Tom was perplexed beyond his capacity. To know he was Slytherin’s heir was one thing – still something that he couldn’t figure out, however – but to know of his initial plans to visit his remaining family members in Little Hangleton? That was beyond his capacity to comprehend just how much Thea knew about him. Just how- “how, in Merlin’s name, did you even know I had planned- no- how do you know everything?!”
His self-restraint had, at last, failed him, it seemed. The bafflement that was Thea had destroyed his ability of coherent thoughts and he couldn’t help the way his face contorted to reveal his befuddlement as the words escaped him before he could even begin to stop it.
“Well-”
Tom was cursed with badly-timed interferences, unfortunately, when the door to the greenhouse had swung open. Dread filled him at the thought of having to battle his inner curiosity which would only grow increasingly intense at the near-success he had in receiving answers. He had to hold himself back from glaring daggers into the professor’s head and swiftly took a deep breath to recollect himself. He turned back to face Thea and took notice of the grimace she had put on due to the delay in relieving his pent-up frustration.
“You’re free after class, aren’t you? I’ll tell you then.” At the scepticism of her words that showed through his eyes, Thea offered a reassuring smile that complemented the glow of understanding in her eyes. “Promise.”
Just one unfamiliar word and Tom had found himself less apprehensive. That never used to be the case but then, again, Thea had never failed to invoke new reactions out of him.
Thea ran her eyes across his expression, tracing his features as she tried to gauge his response. Upon realising that she was seeking any indication that his discontentment wasn’t aimed at her, Tom managed a small, almost imperceptible, smile to allay her worries. “Later, it is.”
He watched as her eyes brightened up upon regaining a touch of assurance and felt his nerves settle better in his body when her lips mirrored his. Their attentions were then taken by Professor Beery who had made his way to the front of the class, severing any more opportunities for the two to communicate in their interests.
Anticipation and tension made home in the space between them – the strongest it had ever been. Words they exchanged as they performed tasks they had been given were tinged with something heavier and the silence that hung above them only emphasised the stillness of the air despite the chatter around them. The hours took their time to fly by and Tom was almost jittery by the end of class. They barely spared another word to confirm the library as their next destination and, with great strength, slowed their paces down to a casual speed lest they were accused of suspicious activity. In no time, they had arrived in the library and briskly made their way to one of the more secluded tables at the back, Thea casting a privacy spell around them before pocketing it as she sat across from Tom. Then, silence.
Tom gestured to Thea, giving her the power to initiate the long-awaited explanation however she liked. He kept his gaze locked onto hers as she mulled over her potential words, showcasing the patience that he didn’t quite feel. Seemingly to have found the right words to say, Thea shifted in her seat as she cleared her throat, meeting his stare head-on to reflect the honesty in her words as she finally spoke.
“I’m from the future.”
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Incredulity began filling Tom when her expression remained passive and she made no sign to rectify her words. Ultimately, Tom could only fathom the ridiculousness of her statement and he said just as much. “You’re pulling my leg.”
“Not at- well actually…” Thea cocked her head to the side as she considered his accusation sincerely. As if her action had triggered the fall of the tension haunting them, a playful smile lifted the corner of her lips as she began a long spiel on the truth of her identity.
“Okay, so- I’m not technically from the future, you’re right – at least I don’t think so – but I am from the twenty-first century; born in the year two-thousand-five, to be exact. For some reason, when I had died at eighteen – that is, in the year twenty-twenty-three – I got to keep my memories and cognitive abilities with me when I – presumably – got reincarnated into this body. That, and the fact that I do take the effort to study, probably explains my adeptness in magic beyond my age but that’s a story for another time. What matters at the moment, and what you’re more curious about, I assume, is how I know everything. You see, where I come from in the ‘future’, magic isn’t real – unless, of course, it was and I was just a mere muggle – but reasons lead me to believe that it simply wasn’t the case. The main reason being the fact that there were stories about the wizarding world; seven books and eight adapted films of them, unless we counted the additional contents created afterwards that consisted of prequel films and a plethora of fan-made contents. The original story follows an orphaned boy and his adventures in Hogwarts in the nineteen-nineties. Just to summarise really quickly – and spoilers alert – he ends up saving the world from a dark lord that goes by the name ‘Lord Voldemort’. Sounds familiar?”
In his stupor of queer information overload, Tom could only shake his head truthfully.
“Really? I guess it must be something that comes up much later than now because- that’s you. You became the next generation’s dark lord.”
When Thea paused for a moment in thought, Tom could only absent-mindedly pick on the last thing she mentioned to comment about. “What kind of absurd name- you mean to say that I came up with that?!”
The utter disbelief and distaste that spilled out of his words prompted a burst of laughter out of Thea. The offended look he was sporting certainly didn’t help her case as she tried to bite back her humour, managing to hiccup out a confirmation once she had reigned herself somewhat back in. “I mean- yes?! It’s an anagram of your name, the phrase: ‘I am Lord Voldemort’.”
“What- that’s stupid!”
“Charming, really.” Thea had to physically bite her lips to prevent another round of vibrant laughter at the dumbfounded expression Tom responded with. “In your defence, I suppose, the horcruxes that you had made may or may not have emotionally and mentally stunted you and driven you insane. At least, that’s a common theory within the community that have consumed the story.”
Tom furrowed his eyes in deliberation. “But I haven’t made any?”
“And that’s where I come in, dear Tom. Up until the end of fifth year, everything seemed to have gone along with the story from my time. It was only when I had sent Pinky to deliver you a message that everything had diverged from the original plot of the story. If my memory serves me correctly, you would’ve made two horcruxes by now – one from Warren’s death and the other from the Riddle family’s murder.”
Lips parted in shock, Tom finally gave himself the time to fully process everything that Thea had shared so far.
Thea came from a world where his life had been fiction. If it hadn’t been for her, he would have been mentally stuck as a teen for the rest of his life, gone insane, and then be defeated in the hands of a barely-grown adult.
…
What?
“And so, you went ahead and stopped me from developing into a dark lord that – I presume – caused destruction upon the people.”
“Exactly.”
“So- why not just kill me?”
A frown took over Thea’s lips at that. “Why would I?”
Unable to understand her logic, Tom reflected her expression. “To name me a ‘dark lord’, I must’ve been an absolute horror to the society. The easiest and most efficient way would be to get rid of me, no? You could’ve done it that day too, in the bathroom. I could have been easily written off as another unfortunate victim had you played the cards right and accused Hagrid’s acromantula as the loose monster.”
Instead of agreeing with him, Thea visibly loosened her demeanour and looked upon him so gently- so affectionately. Her voice was low when she spoke next, soft with fondness and care. “Haven’t I told you, Tom? I’m rather fond of you.” As if those words hadn’t been enough to stun him, she continued, “besides, who am I to damn you? A boy who feared death so much so that he made a mistake in dabbling into horcrux magic; a boy who Dumbledore scorned from the first moment he laid eyes on you and chose to condemn you instead of leading you onto the right path; a boy who deserved to be a boy with a bright future ahead of him just like everyone else. Tell me, what are your thoughts in pureblood supremacy?”
Tom had to quickly dislodge his heart from his throat to respond without showing just how her words had rendered him speechless. “It’s a stupid and baseless, bigoted concept.”
“See?” Thea gave a delightful grin as if Tom had just passed a test and he felt his heart clench. “Voldemort was a blood purist, through and through. This only proves that the horcruxes you would have made had affected your mind greatly and had derailed you from your actual ambition- which is?”
“To rectify the flaws of wizarding laws and create a Wizarding Britain that cares for their people.”
Her grin grew brighter; his heart nearly stopped.
“Horcruxes had been your downfall and Dumbledore had failed you in the sense that he was cruel to have doomed your narrative by characterising you as an inevitable dark lord. You have so much potential in you, Tom, and I wish for you to seize it and become someone you genuinely want to be – sound mind and all. I know just how it feels to have your life taken away from you and I don’t wish that upon you.” Curiosity must have let slip into his expression because Thea followed up with a bitter smile, “another story for another time, perhaps.”
It told of how different his relationship to the girl was compared to anyone else when he only nodded in understanding and pressed her no further than she liked. Her forlorn countenance only twisted his psyche painfully and he was just as willing to let that topic drop if it meant that she wouldn’t feel as woeful.
“I…”
Despite his ability to pinpoint and name the emotions running through him in a marathon at this stage, he had no idea where to even start arranging his words properly. Always a patient person, however, Thea only regarded him in compassion.
“S’alright. Take your time, Tom. I’m not going anywhere.”
Four little words; Thea had no idea just what she had sparked in him. Tom hadn’t even known that feelings could be this fervid when his yearning grew even stronger. I’m not going anywhere; the validation of her willingness to stay with him and wait ignited a flame in his body that far surpassed the heat of any fireplace he had ever seen. The more he wrapped his head around her motives, the more he desired her in every way possible.
She had essentially given fate an enormous ‘fuck you’ and had chosen to give Tom an entire life ahead of him. Words could never amount to the affections he held towards her and he only hoped that he could spend his life – that she had given so generously – trying to make up for it.
Even when the words that he could ultimately muster in the end – for now – were ‘thank you’, Thea hadn’t deplored him for the simplicity of it; gracing him, instead, with a candied smile that made her all the more beautiful – if that was even possible.
Oh, how lovely she is.