It was fine. It was all okay. Lily was okay. She spoke these thoughts loudly in her mind, forcing her brain to listen. Everything had to be okay. Otherwise what would she do? As Lily stared, her eyes filling with tears again, the aching emerald eyes in her mirror stared unblinkingly back. Was that really… her? Her body was hidden, drowned in clothing that Lily had shoved on. Her hands gripped the sink as she sobbed silently. This couldn’t be her, it just couldn’t. It was all so wrong.
Earlier, it was all okay. She had been okay. What was happening to her? Suddenly her body that she cherished and cared for well became an ugly monster to her mind. It was wrong, all wrong. She smoothed a hand over her chest, cringing as it brushed over them. Lily couldn’t breathe. Her mind clouded more and more. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, her thoughts chanted. She felt like tearing away her skin.
“Fuck,” she whisper-yelled, dragging an angry hand through her hair, ripping at it as her tears fell. Even her voice was wrong.
“Lils?” a voice called out to her. It sounded like Mary but everything was a jumble and Lily couldn’t really tell.
“One sec!” she said back brightly, letting out a relieved sigh when her voice didn’t wobble. The last thing she wanted was people worrying. Lily hated it when people worried. She was fine. No need for anyone to waste energy wondering if she was okay.
Wiping furiously at her tear stained cheeks, Lily quickly turned on the tap and splashed the icey cold water onto her face. Screw her stupid head. She didn’t need this right now. Turning the water off, she dried her hands and took one final glance in the mirror. It was fine. It was all okay.