His reflection stares back into him. Seemingly judging him from head to toe, critiquing each article of clothing or piece of jewelry he chose to wear at the moment. His leather jacket suddenly felt too shiny, his hands felt like they were weighed down with too many rings, and he felt as if he had overdone his makeup.
Of course, he knows Regulus probably doesn’t care and that he’s most likely worn worse in front of his little brother. But the fact that Regulus stated that it was an important meetup, makes Sirius sweaty with worry. Had he regretted reaching out to Sirius? If so, Sirius isn’t sure how he’ll be able to react to that.
Regulus had reached out about 3 months ago. Exactly 2 months after Walbruga finally passed after her husband. The two hadn’t spoken since Sirius was 16 and Regulus was 14. That was 11 years ago. Regulus had found his social media and sent a message asking to meet up. Sirius remembered hesitating at first but eventually agreeing after leaving Regulus on read for 3 days.
They were better now. There were tears, without a doubt. But Sirius liked to think they were better now. Maybe not as close as when they were kids, but certainly closer than when they were teens.
For what seemed to be the millionth time, he brushed his hands over his leather jacket, adjusted the rings on his finger, and flexed his fingers.
“You look good.”
His head snapped away from the mirror to where Remus stood, leaning against the door frame with a small smile.
Sirius can’t help but smile, “Thank you,” he purses his lips, “and yet…”
“I’m sure he’s going to be fine with whatever you wear.”
“I know,” Sirius says before finally moving away from the mirror to where Remus stood, silently asking for a hug, “it’s just…I don’t want to disappoint him, I suppose?”
Remus wraps his arms around his waist, “I don’t think he will be.”
“You don’t know that.”
Remus hums.
“He wants to meet at the house,” Sirius mumbles against Remus’ neck, the angle is a bit uncomfortable but he doesn’t really care, “I haven’t been back there in so long.”
“He didn’t offer another location?” Remus asks.
“No, not really,” Sirius replies, “said he was busy but he didn’t want to delay.”
“Interesting.”
Remus finally pulls away, “Alright c'mon, we gotta go, it takes like 20 minutes to get there and I think if we wait any longer you’ll be late.”
His husband presses a kiss to his forehead and heads out for the car. Sirius, however, lingers a bit behind. Frozen for a moment and unsure of himself. Not only was he to meet with Regulus about something important, but he was stepping back into the house that was his version of pure hell.
His eyes shift over to the full-length mirror in his room, once again examining every small detail of his look. Gazing up and down at his reflection, he takes a deep breath, and turns around, following after Remus to their car outside.
When he enters the car, Remus offers his comfort with a hand on his thigh.
. . . .
From the outside, Grimmuald hadn't changed much. It was still the plain gray it was before Sirius left. The only difference was the rose bushes planted outside. The only spot of color that was visible upon the gray hellhole.
Sirius can’t help but smile upon the sight. Walburga never planted flowers, only ever having the maids plant black dahlias, black lilies, black pansies, and other black flowers. It fits the gloomy aesthetic of Grimmauld more in her eyes. Though Sirius disagreed, and it seemed Regulus did too. Since the red, white, and light pink roses looked beautiful. It seemingly brought more life to the place.
“You’ll be alright?” Remus turns to face him after parking. Worry creased into his scarred face.
Sirius nods, “Yeah,” he unbuckles his seat belt and leans to give Remus a goodbye kiss, “I see you soon, okay?”
“Mhm,” Remus smiles, “just call or text me when you're done or when you want to leave early.”
Sirius is so in love with this man it’s insane, “I know, thank you, Moony. I love you, goodbye.”
He closes the car door and blows Remus a kiss, hoping it covers how nervous he actually feels. Remus sees through him, he knows it, but his husband doesn’t say anything else. Just smiles softly at him before driving away.
Leaving Sirius in front of his childhood home. Nervous and sweaty.
When Remus is finally out of sight, Sirius stands facing the pathway out for a little while longer before finally turning his gaze to the front door. It was the same black color as before with the silver snake decor hanging upon the upper center.
He hesitates for a moment. He hadn’t stepped foot near this place in 11 years, and now, seeing it again. It brought back all the anxiety that Sirius dragged with him when he was younger.
Sirius isn’t sure how long he stood outside, just staring. But he does force himself to move after what seemed to be many minutes. Knocking on the door, he waits and waits. Trying to ease the uneasiness in his stomach.
“There you are.”
The door was opened revealing a tired-looking Regulus dressed in a large black hoodie with a skeleton printed on it and black sweatpants, his hair had grown out a bit and was halfway tied back, showing off the parts of white hair that matched their cousin, Narcissa.
Sirius suddenly didn’t feel so horrible about the way he dressed. Though it was nice to see Regulus without the thick waterfall of hair and tightly corseted dresses he was forced into the last times Sirius saw him.
“You look like shit,” Sirius winces, “sorry.”
His brother shrugged, “Don’t worry about it,” He moved to the side, “Come in.”
When he entered, he stopped a bit behind Regulus and noticed a couple of small things near the entrance. A dark green jacket flung over the staircase railing, a cigarette pack and a set of keys which were attached to a blue butterfly charm lying about on the side table placed near the door which also held a small framed photograph of Regulus with a familiar-looking brown-haired man’s arm looped around his brother’s shoulders, they were both smiling. Grinning even.
Sirius thinks he was one of Regulus’ friends in boarding school, Bartemius Crouch was it? Funny name but either way, it was rather nice to see Regulus smile so brightly, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen his brother smile like that except when they were children.
“Come on,” Regulus’ monotone voice breaks him away from the photograph, and he follows his younger brother further into the house.
The inside was warm, a stark contrast to the constant cold that Sirius felt. It hadn’t changed as much as he expected, but he did notice the portraits of their parents were gone, replaced with framed photographs of Regulus and a group of people he could faintly remember from boarding school. One of which he can definitely remember being Dorcas Meadows, his friend Marlene’s fiance. The black flowers that decorated the place in old, ugly vases were taken out.
Sirius also noticed a couple of photographs of him that weren’t taken down.
The overall place felt a bit homier. Nothing to what Sirius can remember. While it still carried its old aristocratic feeling, it was certainly more comfortable than anxiety-inducing.
Like the entrance, there were a couple of things lying around the drawing room, a black shirt hanging over a couch arm, some books scattered on a coffee table that Regulus must’ve added recently after their parents’ deaths, a leather-bound sketchbook sitting on top of the piano that Regulus had been forced to played until his fingertips were sore and red by their mother and tutors as a child, with pencils and pens scattered around it, and some jewelry, like chains, rings, and bracelets lying on the surface of the fireplace where a more smaller framed photographs sat peacefully.
It felt strange, it didn’t feel like his childhood house, instead, it felt like he was stepping into a stranger's home. It made Sirius feel unsure of what to do. Yes, he did grow up here, but now, standing in the middle of the drawing room with his brother, who also grew up with him in this exact place. Sirius felt like a complete stranger. A newcomer.
“You can sit down, you know?” Regulus says, seemingly catching onto Sirius’ feelings, “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Uh,” Sirius shook his head, “I’m fine, thanks.”
He moves to sit down on one of the couches. Regulus follows, choosing to sit on the couch across from him.
He takes notice of the fact that Regulus’ hands are clasped together, picking his skin. A habit he took from their mother. Sirius purses his lips.
Finally, Regulus speaks up, “I know you probably didn’t want to come back here so soon.”
“Eh, true,” Sirius replies, feeling slightly guilty as Regulus straightens his back a little, “but…it looks nice actually, not so dull.”
“Barty’s doing,” Regulus smiles slightly, nearly catching Sirius off guard, “he insisted on redoing some things when he moved in.”
“You’re living with someone?” Sirius asks, leaning a little forward with a raised brow, “Crouch? Like Bartemius Crouch Jr? The crazy one from boarding school? Who started fights like a wild raccoon?”
Regulus choked on a laugh, “Yeah, that one.”
“No wonder.”
“Excuse me?”
Sirius leans back against the couch, “There is no way you would’ve left a jacket on the staircase railing, it’s obvious, Lulu.”
Regulus doesn’t point out the use of a nickname, something Sirius is rather glad about, instead, he just says, “That does bring me to why I asked for you.”
And the anxiety is back.
“What is it?” He asks, his brow furrowing and hoping his panic isn’t too obvious in his voice.
“Well,” Sirius takes a little comfort in Regulus’ voice being a little shaky, it’s good to know he isn’t the only one nervous as fuck right now, “Remember when I mentioned that I was seeing someone last week?”
It had come as a slight shock to Sirius when Regulus casually mentioned seeing someone the week before, and while he tried prying for more details, Regulus had just cut the topic from there much to Sirius' disappointment.
Apart from that, Sirius feels a heavy weight finally lifted from his entire body. So it wasn’t about how Regulus decided he suddenly didn’t want to have a relationship with Sirius after all.
Sirius nods and Regulus continues, “It’s Barty, if you haven't figured that out already.”
Of course, it is. Because who else was borderline, unhealthily attached to his baby brother in school? And would cling to Regulus at every chance? Plus, Sirius is pretty sure he walked in on them shagging at a party they both attended once.
It was a disgusting sight by the way.
“Seriously?”
“You’re Sirius.”
Sirius gave his best-deadpanned face before he broke out into a laugh, “Damnit, Lulu.”
“Exactly,” Regulus smirks.
Sirius rolled his eyes, “Okay, so what about that wild raccoon? Horrible choice by the way.”
“I can’t even disagree with you,” Regulus shrugs, “only the raccoon part though.”
“He was annoying as fuck, Lulu.”
“Yeah well, I like him annoying.”
“But not me?” Sirius pressed a hand to his chest in mock offense.
Regulus rolled his eyes, “Whatever, but anyways,” the nervousness was loud and clear once again, “he proposed.”
Sirius blinks blankly for a couple of moments. There is an obvious silence.
“I’m getting married,” Regulus says, the movements of his nails yanking at his skin quickens.
So that was what Regulus was worried about. But why would Regulus be nervous about that? Sirius thought he made it clear he would be okay with whoever his little brother decided to date. Even if it was that wild raccoon who probably also has rabies.
At the same time, his mind is still processing the fact that his brother is getting married. He just never thought he would be given the chance to hear the news that his brother is getting married. As a child, Regulus never liked any talk of marriage, and Sirius had given up any hopes of being invited to his brother’s wedding a while ago.
Wait…was Regulus nervous because he didn’t want Sirius at the wedding?
The thought settled a heavy boulder of anxiety in his stomach once again. Well, shit. If that is the case then Sirius wouldn’t know how to react. He’s aware that Regulus probably has his reasons, they were still in the process of rebuilding their relationship and all, but still, it’s his brother’s wedding, and Sirius wanted to be there.
But if Regulus doesn’t want him there then…who was he to go against his wishes?
“Congrats,” Sirius smiles, hopefully hiding his dismay, he mentally prepared himself for the awaiting words, “That’s great.”
Regulus nods, “Mhm.”
A moment’s pause passes, and Regulus speaks up, “I know we’re just reconnecting and all but-”
Sirius tries to keep his calm, he hopes it works.
“-I want you to be my best man.”
Oh.
Sirius was not expecting that.
“And I would like for you to walk me down the aisle,” Regulus adds quickly.
Oh.
“I know that it’s probably a bit too early-”
“I’ll do it.”
Regulus wants him at the wedding. Regulus wants him to be his best man. Regulus wants him to walk him down the aisle. His little brother wants him there, to be a part of the biggest moment in his life. Sirius almost can’t believe it. The little boy he helped take care of was getting married and Sirius would be walking him to it despite the fact they haven’t talked in nearly 11 years.
Sirius almost can’t believe it.
A grin breaks out on his face, but he can feel his eyes start to wet and he thinks that Regulus might start crying too.
“I’ll do it, Lulu,” he repeats.
At that moment, Regulus breaks into a sob and Sirius moves over to the other couch to wrap him into a tight, warm hug, which his brother returns by wrapping his arms around Sirius as well. Soon, Sirius finds himself crying as well. Damn his makeup.
“Bloody hell, Lulu,” he says, gasping through his tears and tightening his hold around his brother, lightly swaying, “I can’t believe it. You-you actually want me there. Bloody hell.”
“Of course, I want you there,” Regulus mumbles, his voice slightly muffled due to him burying his face into Sirius’ leather jacket that he had worried about prior to the visit, “I wouldn’t be able to do without you. I couldn’t find anyone else.”
He pulls away, looking at Sirius in the eyes, “It had to be you.”
Sirius chokes on a sob as more tears flowed, “Goddamnit, Lulu. You just say shit like that and expect me to be okay!”
Regulus lets out a wet laugh, “I had to!”
He feels a soft hand against his cheek that wipes away his ruined makeup, “You’re ruining your face,” Regulus says, amusement evident in his tone.
“Your fault.”
Regulus shrugs.
They remain in a peaceful moment after that. Which just consisted of Sirius asking Regulus about his relationship with Barty and coming up with new insulting nicknames for his future brother-in-law. A title that made Sirius gag much to Regulus' amusement.
As much as he thinks Barty is a little unsuitable for Regulus, he can’t doubt that the other definitely makes his little brother happy. The way his eyes would shine brightly whenever he talked about his and Barty’s interactions, the proposal, and how Barty was there for him when times were dark. It was so soft and warm, to see how happy Crouch made his quiet and reserved brother, to see how Regulus’ face lights up into a smile at the mention of him. It was adorable.
Eventually, after a couple of hours, Sirius decides he should probably head home back to Remus. He cleans up his face a little more thoroughly and sends Remus a text.
Regulus walks him out to see him off and when the car shows up, he gives Sirius a tight hug and a soft goodbye.
“Congrats again, Lulu,” Sirius smiles when he pulls away, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Regulus replies, a sheepish look on his face, “now go, your husband’s waiting.”
He waves goodbye to Regulus who stands outside the place watching him leave with a smile.
“Good time then?” Remus asks when he closes the door.
“Oh definitely.”
He spends the entire car ride back talking about what happened with Regulus. All with a giant grin plastered on his face.
. . . .
When Sirius’ car is finally out of sight. Regulus heads back into the house to start dinner and waits for Barty to come back from visiting his mother, and father too, but Regulus knows better.
His fiance makes his presence known with a loud shout of, “I’m home!”
“In here!” He shouts in response.
Within a few seconds, he feels arms wrap around his waist and kisses pressed against his neck.
“Hey,” Barty whispers against his neck, and a shiver goes down Regulus’ spine.
“Hello,”
“How’d the talk with your brother go?”
Regulus beams at the memory, “Good, really good.”
He had been so nervous that Sirius would turn down his request or his invitation entirely. But much to his relief, his older brother agreed.
“Told ya.”
Regulus sets down the knife and turns to face Barty. Wrapping his arms around the other’s neck and leaning close.
“I hate how you’re right sometimes,” he whispers in Barty’s ear.
“Lies,” Barty presses a kiss below his ear, "You look good in my hoodie."
Regulus smiles and presses his hand against Barty’s cheek and guides it to face him so they are looking at each other in the eyes before he pulls the other in for a deep kiss. Which Barty happily reciprocates.
When they finally pull away from each other, they’re out of breath and their faces flushed. Regulus finds himself falling in love all over again. His fiance is beautiful like this and he finds himself almost unable to believe that he’s actually getting married to him.
Regulus tilts his head back and lets out a laugh, “I love you.”
Barty grins, “I love you so much more, my prince. My husband.”
Everything worked out in the end and Regulus couldn’t be happier.