Chapter 2
It's been a week since the night at the Astronomy tower happened and just like James intended, no one noticed.
He didn't tell anyone either, not even his parents. At first he intended to do it. He wanted to tell Sirius at least but he just couldn't.
"Prongs! What about you??", Sirius voice is beaming at him from across the table, ripping James from his thoughts about the unfortunate day a week ago.
James looks around, all the other three Marauders are already looking at him.
He chuckles a little nervously before saying anything, sticking his fork into his breakfast over and over again.
"What were we talking about?"
Peter, who's sitting beside him starts to laugh,"Defense against the dark arts mate."
This just confused James further, "Why are we talking about Defense against the dark arts?".
He raises a brow and looks at his other two friends opposite him.
Remus gives him a little frown but doesn't say anything. Sirius starts laughing like Peter.
"We were discussing how studying for today's test went for each one of us."
Oh. Right. James forgot. But it seemed to be a recurring thing this past week. All that was on his mind had been how pathetic he's handling this Situation so far.
"Oh yeah, sorry, right", he forces a stronger, happier voice now to not seems suspicious,"Defense against the dark arts and studying."
There was a short pause in his speech when he suddenly stopped stabbing his food and going a bit pale, the smile dropping.
"Hold up! Test?? What test??", James screeches out, covering his mouth nearly immediately when he realized how loud he just been. He was sure he heard a few people from the other tables laugh just as well as some people on their table.
Remus' frown intensifies at James' words but still, he said nothing about it, just looking at James seeming to scan him.
He could hear the laughter of Sirius and Peter double when Peter decides to speak,"James, how could you forget that? It was announced this Monday and we've been talking about it for the entire week!"
Oh, he thought once more. He really wasn't paying attention to anything anymore, was he?
Throwing his head back slightly he groaned and forced a chuckle," Come on you guys forgot tests too before, it's not a big deal."
For James it definitely was a big deal. He was fucked and he knows that. He didn't study nor did he pay attention in class. How is he supposed to write this test??
He feels the slight nausea setting back in, just having to think about it.
It really wouldn't be a big deal if he wasn't so terrified of failing his tests. If he was being honest with himself he was more scared of disappointing his parents. Don't get him wrong, his parents are the sweetest people alive and so lovely but James has always had this fear of disappointing them.
He's not a bad student either and normally he doesn't even have to study to get a good mark on his tests but he knows very well that he is not in the right head space to write a test at the moment.
"You've been distracted a bit again lately, so it seems", he was ripped out of his thoughts once again by Sirius, who was leaning on the table opposite, resting his head in his hands.
James looked back at him, one of his brow raising again at the statement.
"What is that supposed to mean", He couldn't hide the little waver as he spoke. Did Sirius know? But how would he?
Sirius smirked at him and James' worries fell. If he'd know anything about James' little problem, he wouldn't be smiling at him.
"Common Prongs", He starts speaking again, rolling his eyes in a dramatic manner before wiggling with his eyebrows a bit,"We all know you've been thinking about Evans."
The finally settled peace suddenly left James' body, tensing up.
"I wasn't!", he blurts out, not looking at his friends faces at all cost. His leg is starting to bounce up and down lightly.
"You're lying James and it's so obvious too!", Peter snickers besides him, putting a hand on his shoulder,"We know that you think about her, you can't deny it."
James wasn't lying. He hadn't been thinking about Lily at all lately and if he's being honest with himself it seems as if asking out Lily or thinking about her just doesn't have priority anymore.
Blame it on his weird sickness but he's really just not in the mood to think about Lily.
He's biting his bottom lip a little harder, just to look up at his friends with a smile the second later.
"I just can't hide this from you guys, can I?", James chuckles, hoping his friends wouldn't get suspicious. He hated lying with a passion, especially to his friends but right now lying seemed so much better than the truth.
How would he even explain the truth to begin with? Yeah recently I've been feeling nauseas whenever I want to sleep or eat, that's why I just don't do either of them. Why? Oh I don't know it just appeared. What caused this? No clue, that's just the way I am.
Yeah, no James definitely isn't going to have this conversation any time soon and if that meant lying to his friends, he's ready to do so. Besides, James has to stay happy for his friends. They need him and he would be useless to them if he'd admit he's sick. His friends have bigger, more important problems, he just has to get a grip and stop fussing about a little nausea.
He's been through this before and he'll get through it again, no matter what.
"Well, we're running late for defense against the dark arts already and I don't know about you but I don't wanna be late for a test", Remus speaks up for the first time in their conversation, already standing at the table ready to leave.
Sirius follows nearly immediately and right after Peter stands up too looking at James, who's still sitting.
"You coming?", he raises a brow.
"Yeah! Sorry, of course", James response, quickly standing up too.
Just as Peter turns around to leave does James look down on his plate, his expression a little pained.
He was frustrated that he couldn't eat and it just got worse and worse the more he actually tried. He was so tired of the whole thing that he would love to just never look at food again. Sadly that wasn't possible because his friends would definitely ask questions about it.
His friends.
They didn't seem to notice that his behavior changed slightly. That he's not in bed at night, that he's more tired than usual, that he's a tad bit paler, that he looses himself in his thoughts quicker, that he avoids extreme movement or overly warm places.
In that matter, they didn't notice he's not been eating either. James was kind of glad about it because he didn't wanna explain anything that's been happening neither does he want them to worry about him. But a little part of him just wishes they would look close enough to notice.
He hastily rearranges his expression into his usual stupid smile and starts walking towards the others, his right hand grabbing his robe tightly.
As he leaves the Great Hall he knows he'll be up for a hell of a day, because ever since Lily was brought up in their conversation the nauseating feeling didn't seem to leave anymore.
He desperately wishes to be wrong about the Theory that now forms in his head, that he will also feel sick over day from now on but then again, he's been through it before and knows how his illness works, doesn't he?
So how could he possibly be wrong about it?