Chapter 1
It’s been a week since Remus had last talked to any of the other Marauders. Or a week since he had last spoken to them. Peter and James trying to make small talk or even just to get him to talk. And Sirius? Well, he had done almost everything. At first, he gave him space or tried to at least. Then after a day he started to apologize. It was weird. Sirius Black doesn’t apologize. Not usually anyway, but these days he did it at ever change he got. He tried everything. He even backed Remus up in a corner, yelling at him to say anything, do anything. But Remus didn’t. Why would he give him that.
Sirius had betrayed all his trust. Not that Remus had much of it to begin with, but the little bit he had was left destroyed by the one person he thought he could trust with his life.
It had all started with that one prank. Sirius thought it would be funny to tell his deepest secret to a Slytherin, to a boy who would have no problem telling it to the whole world. Dumbledore had forbidden him telling, of course, but it was still the fact that he told their common ‘enemy’ where to find him at his worst. Where to find him when he was turning into something that could make him a killer. Something that had tormented him since he was 4. Something that made his entire body unrecognizable. Something that made him turn into a monster.
So now Remus was left wandering in the hallways, alone, when he could have been up with his former friends, laughing, planning pranks or whatever they used to do.
The dark was coming in and Remus knew he would have to get back to their dorm soon, but he also knew he could probably play the sympathy card with McGonagall. So, he kept walking. Drawn into his own silence he didn’t even see when a boy with black hair was sitting up against the wall, book in hand, following him with his eyes.
“What are you doing here out so late, Lupin?” Remus snapped his eyes towards the boy. And oh. Another Black. Just what he needed.
“I could ask you the same.” He tried to keep his voice less irritable, but he doubted it worked when Regulus raised his eyebrow at him.
“Why aren’t you with my brother?” He wanted to flinch at the mention of him, but after so long with being taught not to show reaction from the other boys at his foster care, he didn’t. Maybe his time at Hogwarts had made him weak because the other boy clearly noticed. A short huff of laughter came out of his mouth. “What did he do?”
Remus just stood there for a few seconds before answering, “Nothing.” He turned around and left him with a confused look on his face.
When he got back to his dorm, he was immediately reminded of everything that had happened the last weeks. The second he opened the door he was met with an uncomfortable silence. Not bothering brushing his teeth he just closed the curtains, changed his clothes and went to bed.
He didn’t fall asleep but after half an hour he heard the whispers of the others clearly talking about him. He couldn’t quite make it out what they were saying but it was something about giving him space and that was one of the moments he was thankful for James.
-
Like the past 2 weeks, he woke up before the others, took a shower and headed to the library. He didn’t bother to eat, mostly because of all the looks and whispers he would get. Ever since it happened and he decide to separate himself from the group he had gotten those looks, everyone looked at him like he was a bomb waiting to explode or even worse was the girls’ worried looks. It kind of drove him mad.
It turned out he wasn’t the only one looking for some quiet. Regulus Black appeared yet again before him. This wasn’t abnormal though. Regulus, like Remus himself, found peace in the quiet library and he often saw him either sitting alone or with some of his weird friends. The abnormal thing was he now sat himself down besides Remus.
This time, it was Remus who raised an eyebrow at the other. Regulus kept his face still and was looking at him like he could see through every single one of his secrets or insecurities. Being locked up in that house he probably could. With a sign he said, “What is it?”
Regulus kept his face dead, still looking at Remus that made him shiver a bit.
“Seriously, you’re making me nervous.” If it was anyone else, they would have made a ‘seriously-siriusly’ joke but the fact that Regulus was known for being so ‘dead inside’ made Remus calm about the fact that he would not use that overused joke.
“You’re mad at my brother, yes?” Before he even could respond he continued om, “Don’t think I can’t see it. You’re never with his group and he’s always walking around, sulking.”
Remus was left speechless. He opened his mouth but before he could even come up with an answer, they heard hurried footsteps coming.
Infront of them stood Sirius mouth slightly agape. He had clearly not expected to see them together of all people. Not bearing to stand the look of hurt and confusion on Sirius, Remus turned around and saw Regulus with yet another raised eyebrow.
“What are you doing here with him?” Sirius spoke the ‘him’ coming out like venom. The last time Remus had spoken with Sirius about Regulus he had said they were on ‘okay’ terms. But that was clearly not the case.
“It’s nice to see you too Sirius.” Regulus spoke in his regular tone-dead voice clearly not caring about the hurt look on his brother’s face. Maybe it was a Black thing because before he could answer he spoke up again, “What I’m doing here with Lupin is our business so if you would kindly leave, we would appreciate it.” Even if his face was filled with what looked like to be boredom Remus could see in his eyes a tiny spark of joy. Remus wasn’t even sure if he truly saw it or if he imagined it.
Remus was starring so deeply at him he didn’t even see the betrayed look in Sirius before he turned around and left.
“You looked like he was the last person you wanted to see, so you’re welcome.” He spoke so formal you wouldn’t think he was just a teenager. Remus couldn’t quite believe that the person who had just defended him was Regulus. Could you even call it defending? He was just sending a person away. Regulus must have seen his confused look and continued to speak, “Yes Lupin, I just helped you. Now you can return the favour?” Oh and of course he would want something, he was a Black after all. Remus let his curiosities get the better of him and just hummed for him to go on. “My dumb roommates want to uh befriend you, for some reason, and since you are one, I can tolerate and their nagging has become too much, I’m offering this deal.”
Remus stared dumbfounded at him. “How is that a deal?” he managed to say.
Regulus just rolled his eyes “You get to annoy my brother? I thought you were smart Lupin.” And again, Remus just blinked at him. “Think about it, and if you want then sit with us at lunch.”
-
Honestly Remus didn’t really want to. What did Regulus even mean by ‘my roommates want to befriend you’. He had heard things about Crouch and Rosier. Some said they were bat-shit crazy. Honestly why could they want with him? Remus who actually studied and oh who was in Gryffindor? But on the other hand, he did really want to hurt Sirius.
So, there he was standing in the middle of the dining hall. James had caught his eye and was gesturing to go sit with them. He had earlier decided not to do it but besides James were Sirius also looking at him an emotion Remus couldn’t place. Then he looked over at the Slytherins and there were 5 people, including Regulus, already staring at him. With a sigh he slowly walked over towards them, not taking a look back at the Marauders.
He could feel eyes watching him everywhere. It became so overwhelming he started doubting his decision. When he sat down besides Regulus, back towards the Gryffindors. He was considering keeping looking down at his lap but when he felt someone hug him, he was a bit startled to say at least. A girl with platinum dreadlocks filled with flowers smiling happily at him. A snort was heard from the other side of the table and when he looked up, he saw the others looking at him with mixed glances. “Uh… hi?” He said awkwardly, not really knowing what to do.
The girl had stopped hugging him spoke up cheerfully, “Hi! I’m Pandora, but you can call me Dora, the moody one is Regulus, but you know him of course, the girl is Dorcas and the boys besides her, grinning manically is Barty and Evan.”
“Crouch, Rosier, stop staring at him like that.” Regulus sighed, sounding like he had already deeply regretted inviting him. A shared ‘What?!’ from the two was heard and he quickly shut them up with a glare.
Remus felt a hand on his and it pulled his gaze away from the weird scene and up to the other girl, Dorcas, “Remus, hi, I’m the only normal here, and you’re going to help me with DADA. Nice to finally meet you.”
A bit overwhelmed he stuttered, “Uh sure?”
“Awe he’s cute when he’s nervous.” A blush crept up on his cheeks but before he even could think of an answer to that he felt a hand on his shoulder. Behind him James looking a tad concerned and confused, so confused.
“Uh, Remus I need to talk to you.” Usually, James was a confident person but surrounded by the unusual scene he had lost all of that confidence.
Sending an apologetic look to the younger Black, he stood up and followed James out of the dining hall. When they finally were out of earshot James looked like he didn’t quite know how to form the right words.
“Okay… I know you're mad at him,” Remus left out of breath he didn’t know he had been holding, “but being around with his brother isn’t fair. For either of them.”
And Remus has always had a temper, but he was generally good at hiding it, but now?
“Seriously James? Merlin, do you really think so little of me? I did not sit with him just to hurt Sirius.”
“Shit Moony, I didn’t-”
“You know I can have other friends than you right? Or do you think too that I don’t deserve friends just because of my problem? Is that it?” Before he could answer himself, Remus interrupted him yet again. “You know, I get that you can’t just ditch him, but I really didn’t think that you of all people would sink to his level.”
He stormed back into where the other students were and this time, he didn’t care that people were looking. He sat back down besides Regulus but didn’t talk the rest of the meal. But he did see the others smirking while looking over at the Gryffindor table.
He didn’t go back to their dorms after like he usually would but instead, he walked to the library with Regulus. Neither spoke yet Remus felt comfortable enough for the first time in a long time.