I Wish you Were Sober
Parties had to be the best part of Regulus's new relationship with Hogwarts legend, Gryffindor's Quidditch team captain and heartthrob James Potter sure they had been invited to a party or two before they had started dating but never the quidditch or birthday ones which were always the best.
Everyone had a drink in their hand, in Barty's case two, and a fag in their mouth, it didn't matter what music was playing it was loud enough to dance, which Barty enjoyed though he had a few things to say about trying to dance to Bowie drunk. The Gryffindor girls were hot as well and bloody good at shagging, in this past month he had taken at least four of them to bed and not a single time had he been disappointed.
Evan left him about an hour ago to snog a Brown haired, fit, Ravenclaw boy who had looked at him twice. Barty had shooed him off and went back to dancing with a girl he had plans to shag later that night, unfortunately, she went missing somewhere after the third drink. If he was being honest she wasn't even pretty or a Gryffindor so he went looking for his next target. That didn't work well either since the fifth drink and weed kicked in and he made a fool of himself multiple times trying to get to Pandora to ask her to help.
He now found himself smooshed between a couple snogging and a bleach-blonde Gryffindor, Marlene who was just as wasted as him. She was in Dorcas’s year and on the quidditch team.
Two drinks sit in his hand as he sips from both, not caring about the awful taste in his mouth, he was quite sure one was coke and no alcohol at all. He finishes one and watches as the girl beside him lights a fag. "Got one to spare?"
The girl eyes him as she puts it between her lips and tosses the pack onto his lap. "Here," She says rather rudely.
He puts it between his lips and fumbles for the green lighter in his pocket. "Cheers," she says, rolling her eyes and blowing smoke, clearly displeased with something or someone. "Oi, pretty why the frown? Didn’t you just bloody win your er… quidditch game or something?," he says with a drunk smile.
"I'm a lesbian." She says bluntly making Barty snort.
"Alright and I'm a god, didn't fucking ask did I?" He says getting a mean glare from her. "Girl problems then, my friend is a lesbian as well, I know what I'm talking about." The smoke circles Barty's head. For as long as he's known, Dorcas has been into women and not once had he tested that theory. All of his friends were queer in some way, even Pandora much to his surprise, he was the only straight one out of the lot of them.
“Bold of you to assume my only problems are girls” She snorts. Barty would have to be blind not to see that her problem was indeed girls.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night cupcake.” The sarcasm in his voice gets a look from her.
She lifts her finger sitting forward and points to Dorcas who's leaning on a wall near the stairs with a drink in her hand, she's deep in a conversation with a short Gryffindor redhead. "See her there talking to lily? Yeah well she was talking to me exactly like that about fifteen minutes ago and now shes doing the same with Lily," She sits back down and scoffs. "And I though women were supposed to be better than men"
Barty finishes his other drink. "Her names Dorcas by the way, and shes just... like that."
"That's no excuse, your friend I take it then?"
He hums. "Wouldn't expect much from her... wouldn't expect much of any of us, other than a good time" A smirk forms on his lips.
"Bloody Slytherins," She says getting up.
"Aw leaving so soon?" He says mockingly
She just walks away though but Barty doesn't care as he sees the almost full drink she left behind and finishes it.
The night slips away and he catches no sight of his friends, other than Reggie being dragged up to James' dorm by James. Regulus rarely ever spent a night in the dorm, either to busy sneaking away to see James or shagging James. Evan and Barty didn’t mind though, they knew James was good for Regulus and that was enough.
The drinks catch up to him eventually and before he knows it he's searching for Evan to carry him back to the dorm not having any confidence in his ability to walk. He would ask Pandora but she's most likely already found her way back alone and Dorcas had wandered off with the redhead so Evan is his last resort.
Barty finds him pressed up against a wall with the boy from earlier that night, his eyes narrow as he watches for a moment before clearing his throat. Evan continues snogging the other boy and Barty clears his throat again. He's ignored again which makes his nose twitch.
"Evannnn." As if saying his best friend's voice should be enough it turns out not to be as Barty watches Evan's hands explore the other boy's body. "Evannn" This time he gets a grunt from the other guy but not Evan. Barty begins to become quite annoyed by this so he takes a drink out of a kid's hand who just so happened to be walking by and dumps in on both of their heads.
"Ugh, what the fuck?!" The other guy says turning around mad.
Barty grins and wiggles his hands at him. "Hello, done snogging my best friend's entire face or should I stand and watch for another five minute?"
The other boy turns back to Evan who's just standing there looking at Barty. "God are you going to let your little boyfriend talk to me like this?"
"He's not my boyfriend" Both he and Evan say at the same time.
"Sure Rosier, enjoy your bloody night I guess" The other guy walks away leaving just Barty and Evan.
"You really need to get your type straight, not literally." Barty says defensively slurring his words when Evan raises a brow at the word straight. Evan came out as gay last summer to all of his friends but never to his father, no his father would have his head if he did. It wasn't a surprise that Evan was gay, I mean he never cared for girls, especially the pictures of women Barty had on the wall next to his bed.
"I suppose you would like to leave now?" He says his eyes scanning over very much wasted Barty as Barty nods.
"Yes, yes I would like that very much"
Evan snorts, lifts Barty's arm over his shoulder, and starts walking them to the exit. They are mostly quiet for the walk back to the dungeons, Barty slumps down onto Evan laughing randomly. He starts to get distracted by Evan's hair then it turns into a fascination with his face. Evan eventually notices this and laughs as he tries to keep Barty upright and from walking into a poll. "Barty your staring"
Barty blinks as if he's been caught doing something wrong. "You're very beautiful" He wasn’t lying, Evan was a very very attractive person. His bleach-blonde curls fell just over his eyebrows, covering the piercing Barty gave him last year that sent him to Madam Pomfrey within 2 hours of getting it. It wasn’t Barty’s fault there was nothing to sterilize the needle with other than water.
And don’t get Barty started on Evan’s sun-kissed skin. No matter how many tanning lotions and days in the sun, he and Regulus could only ever burn. Not one day since first year had Barty or Regulus believed that Evan’s tan was natural.
Evan shakes his head and chuckles. "I'm sure I am Barty, but you are also very drunk and don't know what you're saying as usual."
Barty tucks a piece of Evan's hair behind his ear. "How dare you insult my ways to function drunk, and I do so know what I'm talking about!" Barty’s finger trails down to Evan’s jaw tracing it lightly with the pad of his finger.
"You are clinging to me because you cannot walk, and do not know what your saying"
"I do so!" Barty argues.
"You do not"
"I do so!"
"Do not!" They go back and forth for a good minute before Barty says something else.
"Well at this point you're just insulting your own beauty, which is rude," He says all fed up. Still, he hasn’t taken his eyes off Evan who looks back at him and rolls his own eyes.
"You've called me ugly plenty of time's Barty"
"Well I must have been on something then" Knowing himself he most likely was.
Evan laughs. "Yes you must have been then"
Barty goes back to playing with Evan's hair, twirling it between his fingers coiling the curls up and letting them bounce. He is awfully beautiful, poor girls their not blessed by the beauty of Evan Rosier, what a dull life. He traces his hand back along Evan’s jaw and to his soft lips he's kissed only once by accident when they were fourteen. His figure flicks his bottom lip and watches in bounce back.
"Barty?" Evan cuts in, his tongue touching just the tip of Barty’s finger before he retracts it.
Barty hums as his hands wander to Evan's ear piercings admiring them. Almost every part of his ear is pierced in some way or another, showing off the earrings he’s stolen or been given over the years. Barty reconizes the two star studs Regulus got Evan for his birthday, and the dangling chains Pandora made him in the back of Transfiguration, the bar he bought himself that spans from one side of the ear to the other, as well as the hoops Barty and him just carry around for new piercings.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing," He says as he traces Evan's ear, his finger sliding over the cool medal sending shivers down his spine.
"That's not nothing Barty"
"Do you want me to stop?" Please say no- Barty internally pleads being interrupted by Evan’s words, or word.
"No."
"Okay," So Barty continues until they get back to the common room. No one is up this late so they quietly make their way to their dorm, well it would have been quiet if Barty hadn’t faceplanted trying to get up the stairs. Evan of course had laughed at him and refused to pick him up off the ground until Barty used almost every swear and slur he could think of.
Barty, once inside their dorm, almost immediately unbuttons his shirt and flops onto his bed earning a chuckle from Evan. He lets out a low groan and flips onto his back, taking the wand out of his pocket that was poking his side.
Regulus bed looks untouched in the far corner closest to the washroom, he hadn’t slept their in over and week. Evan and Barty had had a very serious conversation about using it for something else, or using the rotting wood for a bonfire, the other day while getting retting for class. Barty had suggested they burn it of course while Evan wanted to put their luggage and dirty laundry on it.
Evan begins to unbutton his shirt slowly which catches Barty’s eye, pulling him from the distraction that is his ever so ugly and burnt drapes (He had accidently lit of fire trying to light a cigarette… more than one time. Which caused Regulus to scold him like his mother and tell him to get rid of them, Barty in fact had not). Barty can feel his mouth begin to wet as he outright stares at Evan’s naked torso, watching as he throws his shirt into the pile of laundry at the end of his bed. Evan’s muscles flex with every movement making him seem less and less human and more like a god.
Barty’s eyes don’t leave Evan’s visibly fit, tanned torso until a pillow is thrown directly at his head snapping him out of a trance as he scowls. “Ow, what the fuck!”
Evan flips him off and he sits on the edge of his bed facing Barty. “Stop salivating you horny fuck” So what? Maybe Barty was a little attracted to Evan right now but he always was drunk.
“So what if I’m horny? I could suck your dick way better than any brown haired freak” He plays licking his lips.
Evan snorts trying to hide his grin and red cheeks by untieing his shoes. “Garrett is a perfectly fine individual and certainly not a freak”
Barty cocks a brow, smirking. “Oh, so the guys you shag finally have names? Still didn’t deny that I’d do you better”
“Go fuck yourself” Evan’s face goes red as he throws his shoes off and lines them up next to his bed.
“Gladly, if you won’t do it for me” This causes Evan to launch himself at Barty with a pillow in hand and repeatedly beat him. Barty rolls back and throws his hands up to cover his face, letting out a scream and laugh.
“Fuck off you cunt!” He yells grabbing a pillow of his own and whipping it at Evan, missing. The pillow hits Evan’s bed and falls to the floor as Evan cackles, still hitting Barty.
“Get better aim dick head!” Evan doesn’t let up on the hitting until Barty flips him onto his back and grabs the second pillow off his bed and starts hitting Evan back. Poor Evan attempts to fight back or at least cover his face with the pillow but Barty has him pinned between his legs and just rips the pillow from Evans hands.
They go a few times around taking turns for dominance over the other as well as throwing insults at both each other and each others lovers. “At least I don’t like cunts!”
“At least I’m not a cunt!”
“Your no better than me crouch!”
“Says you rose bush! No wonder you like wankers!”
“I’m not a rose bush!”
“Your last name quite literally translates to rose bush!”
“It’s french dipshit!”
“I know!”
They go around once more until Evan pins Barty down with his forearms and rips the pillow from his hands, tossing it in a random direction. Both of them pant as they try to catch their breaths, Evan never gets to that point, still flushed and breathing heavy even when Barty’s fullied recovered. “Your not a dickhead, you know… dunno why I said that”
“Maybe cause I was nagging you on” Barty says with a smirk looking up at Evan, who’s curly hair has obscured his own vision. Once again Barty can’t help but find him angelic looking down at him like that with his ice blue eyes, like a savior sent from a god for Barty and Barty alone.
“You called me a rose bush” A matching smirk plays on Evans lips.
“To be fair you have a pretty last name, only fair it translates to ‘rose bush’” And he wasn’t lying Barty liked Evan’s last name, he liked the way it rolled off his tongue or how it looked on paper in Evan’s or Pandora’s handwriting (Barty couldn’t read his own). Evan Rosier, an angelic name for an angelic human being.
For a moment they just stare at each other, two best friends, one pinned under the other. Barty thinks he could stay like this forever, avoid the hangover waiting for him tomorrow morning when regulus plows in at the crack of dawn demanding they all, quote on quote “Get their asses out of bed before he sets salazar on them” (Our pet snake). Evan blinks harshly coming back down from whatever world he was living on and removing his arm from Barty’s chest.
“We should get some sleep” He says standing up and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly though Barty has no clue why but he pushes himself up as well and agrees.
“Yeah yeah, leave it to Regulus to take away Sunday sleep in privileges”