Fight For Me

The day after, Regulus is regretting everything that led to the pounding headache threatening to split his skull in half. The light was too bright, searing his thoughts and sound rang through his ears, sending shots vibrating agony through his head.

Unfortunately, fucking Potter demanded to have the party on a stupid fucking thursday so Regulus couldn't ignore his alarm - which in sound itself made him want to drown himself in the nearest lake. He was forced to take a shit ton of painkillers, grabbed his noise cancelling headphones and a pair of sunglasses before dragging himself to school.

When he got there, wandering over to the dead tree all his friends had begun joining Sirius and them under, everyone else was in just as bad a shape. Or, well, almost everyone else. While Lily was laying face-down in the grass and Dorcas looked one small wisp of wind away from falling over and Pettigrew was green in the face, Macdonald, Evan, Barty and Potter looked like they hadn’t even touched a bottle of alcohol.

“Oh, what the fuck.” Regulus grumbled, glaring at the four of them.

Mary made sense. Regulus saw her have one drink, maybe one and a half, and he knew Evan could handle a shit ton of alcohol. But Potter? Barty?

Barty grinned as Regulus immediately dumped himself on the ground, burying his face in Pandora’s - who was leaned against the tree itself with Xenophilius’ arm around her shoulders - lap. She dropped a hand into his hair and Regulus whined, even the gentle brushing too much for him to handle. “How’s your morning going, Reg?”

“God, Crouch, stop screaming,” Sirius hissed and despite his eyes hiding behind his own pair of sunglasses, Regulus could tell he was glaring. “Some of us have a hangover.”

“You should be someone who does,” Regulus commented. “Why don’t you?”

“I stopped drinking relatively early.” Barty replied simply, shrugging.

Regulus pulled his sunglasses to raise an eyebrow at him and almost immediately regretted it. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“He was getting dicked down.” Remus supplied helpfully.

Evan wound an arm around Barty’s waist and dragged him closer. Now that it had been pointed out, the many dark bruises littering Barty’s neck, along with the literal bite mark, indents still present and scabbed over, were rather obvious.

Regulus hummed in understanding and then pointed an accusatory finger at James. “And why aren’t you? I know for a fact that you got hammered.”

“Watching me, Reg?” James asked teasingly, lip quirking up in a smirk.

Regulus scowled, despite it being very much true. “No. And my name is Regulus.”

“Mhm. Sure,” James said with a chuckle that made several people wince. “I don’t get hungover.”

Dorcas gaped at him. “Ever?”

“Ever,” James repeated. “No matter how much I drink, I’m always fine.”

“Of fucking course you are,” Regulus muttered. “Wouldn’t be like Perfect Potter to get hungover.”

James frowned, if only for a second, and shifted on his feet.

“It’s utter bullshit,” Marlene said. “I’m over here vomiting my brains out and he’s fine.”

Before James could reply, the bell rang. Regulus smirked to himself as displeased whines and pained expressions fluttered throughout the group, his noise cancelling headphones muffling the obnoxiously loud blaring.

Thankfully, Regulus’ hangover had mostly worn off by the time rehearsals came around and he was able to sing - as they were focusing of the Seventeen(Reprise) - without practically dying.

When Minnie had finally let them go, Barty slouched in his chair. “I hate how we have to break up all the songs.”

Pandora raised a brow at him. “What do you mean?”

“Why can’t we just sing them all? Have a rehearsal where we just go through the entire soundtrack?” Barty asked, exasperated.

Regulus shrugged. “We might. Don’t question Minnie, she knows what she’s doing.”

“I’m still amazed she hasn’t given you detention for disrespect yet,” Sirius said. “With all the times you call her Minnie.”

Regulus gave them a smirk. “She likes me more.”

Sirius scoffed. “Bullshit.”

“Ask her yourself.” Regulus challenged, crossing his arms.

“Y’know what, I will.” Sirius said before stomping over to where Mrs. McGonagall was packing up her bag. Their chat was ridiculously short and when Sirius dragged herself back over, arms crossed and jaw ticking, Regulus laughed.

Barty kicked his legs like a child. “I don’t want to wait or rely on a ‘maybe’. I just want to sing the soundtrack with everyone. I can only sing my parts in Candy Store and Shine A Light(Reprise) so many times before my dad comes to beat my ass.”

“We can gather as a group again a song the soundtrack,” James suggested with a shrug. “There’s no one stopping us.”

“Not today,” Lily said quickly, rubbing her temples. “My hangover is still lingering.”

“Jesus Lily,” Peter said, blowing out a breath. “How much did you drink?”

She groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“Saturday?” Marlene proposed.

Frank shook his head. “I have plans with my friends. It’s their last day before they leave again.”

“Not Saturday, then,” Remus agreed. “Sunday?”

After a flurry of agreed murmurs, the date was set and the group disbanded.

One step into James’ house and Regulus is overwhelmed in a way he wasn’t the night of Halloween.

“Regulus, my dear, wonderful to finally be meeting you. I’ve heard lots about you!” Euphemia, Effie, Potter said, an endless babble of gentle, caring chatter that had started the moment he stepped foot in the door. Her motherly aura was overwhelming, wrapping around Regulus like a suffocating weighted blanket. Her cheery voice and very essence seeped into the walls, into every nook and cranny with no way to escape.

Regulus felt his face heat up under the attention. “All good things, I hope.”

“Oh, nothing but,” Effie smiled. “Come, come. Most of your friends are already here and I’ve got food on the stove. You don’t have any allergies, do you? I asked Sirius but I want to make sure. Oh, maybe I should’ve had someone text you. That might’ve been a better idea-“

“Effie, lay off the poor boy,” came the deep, hearty voice of Fleamont Potter, an amused smile on his face as his wife practically herded Regulus into the living room. Regulus had to fight his jaw as it threatened to drop. Goddamn, James’ll age like fine wine. “I’m sure everything is fine.”

Regulus cleared his throat as all eyes laid on him. He very pointedly ignored Barty, who looked a moment away from bursting out in laughter. “No allergies.”

“Perfect! Soup and sandwiches are in the kitchen and as soon as James gets back, we’ll be out of your hair.” Effie said.

Regulus blinked, looking around. “Where is Potter?”

Right on cue, the front door slammed open and James burst through, kicking off his Lightning McQueen crocs and ranting, “Sorry, sorry, sorry! I know I’m late. ‘How James? This is your house.’ I know, I know! I just had to grab something real quick.”

Regulus looked between James and Effie. I guess I know where he gets the rambling habit from. He sighed and crossed his arms. “What could be so important that you just had to be late?”

“You were almost late, too.” Mary pointed out.

Regulus glared at her. “Almost.”

James only grinned, lifting up one hand to reveal a Circle K slushy. “I needed to be prepared.”

Sirius snorted and Remus pointed out, “It’s not from 7/11.”

James gave him an unimpressed look. “Let me have this.”

Remus smiled. “What about my personality makes you think that I’d let you have anything?”

James rolled his eyes and took a dramatic slurp of his slushy.

“Of all the flavours, why grape?” Evan asked, wrinkling his nose.

James gasped and tucked the slushy protectively against his chest. “Do not disgrace grape flavoured anything in front of me.”

“It’s ass,” Marlene agreed. “Tastes like Advil.”

“Trust me, we don’t get it either.” Effie said with a laugh. Regulus watched Marlene’s eyes turned to hearts. Right. She has a massive thing of Effie. Not sure why, when Monty’s right there but okay. To each their own, I guess.

“Alright, you kids have fun. Don’t burn the house down or vomit on my carpet.” Monty called out as he and Effie slipped out of the house, going only god knows where and entrusting their home to a group or eleventh and twelfth graders.

Regulus wished he had that much trust in his friends.

Before singing, they stuffed their faces full of grilled cheeses and roasted tomato soup, which had no right to be that fucking good for something so simple. Eventually, they ended up back in the living room and the next little while went something like this:

They started with Beautiful, obviously, and it wasn’t the most awkward, surprisingly. It was stiff at first, as they didn't really know what they were doing but as the song progressed, people started to loosen up and slip more into character. Regulus saw smiles all throughout the group and if Vincent Sawyer was more of a smiley character, Regulus would be right along with them. Excitement thrummed through his veins as he sang, the essence of a show feeling much more real than any other time throughout all rehersals. Of course, they weren't perfect. They didn't have the entire cast here so there were ensamble lines and harmonies missing but still. Surrounded by castmates that he reluctantly called his friends, Regulus was reminded about just how much he loved theatre.

Candy Store was far better. Sirius took the reins on the feel of the environment, getting more into it as she sang with her hands. Barty and Marlene followed suit, ironically typical for the characters they played. Though he'd never say it out loud, Candy Store went much better musically than Beautiful did, now that they had fallen into a rhythm. Barty's lower harmonies mixed with Marlene's higher ones, tied off with Sirius between them made Regulus's ears ring in the most perfect way and he couldn't wait to see it mixed with blocking. Sirius absolutely nailed the riff and Regulus couldn't help grinning at her, and elbowing Remus teasingly, who was biting into his palm.

Things became, once again, a bit more awkward with Fight For Me , not as bad as Beautiful and still not the worse one of the afternoon, atmospheric wise. Though it was Regulus' character singing about James', Regulus felt like the skin of his chest had been peeled off, his bones and organs shoved to the side so his heart could sing, wants and thoughts on full display for everyone. James smirked at him the entire song, cheeky and thoroughly enjoying himself. He even went as far as giving him a little wink and Regulus had to look away so he wouldn't mess up the lyrics, heartbeat thumping loudly in his ears and his cheeks heating up the slightest bit. Regulus prayed to a god he didn't believe him that James didn't notice and if he did, he didn't say anything.

What truly broke the ice, though, was James' performance with Freeze Your Brain. Unlike everyone else, he had wandered the living room as he sang, using everything at his disposal as a prop, if it made sense. He waved his slushy around, took a sip when it called for it. He used the couch as the makeshift 7/11 counter, shooing Barty, Evan and Mary off it before he had started singing. His voice was heavenly and as he danced around, eyes sparkling with shifting emotions based on the lyrics, Regulus truely understood Vincent. If J.D. was as enticing as James Potter, Regulus would gladly let himself be tangled in his web, murder and all.

The energy easily transferred over to Big Fun and Regulus really felt like he was at a party. The group danced around, James had managed to find shot glasses for Regulus, Barty, Marlene and Frank when the lyrics called for it. Evan and Frank had used a pillow as the pig piñata while Lily used her water bottle as her bottle of sparkling cider(thankfully Evan didn't actually take a drink so they didn't have to clean up a mess of spilt water). Again, there were voices missing but no one seemed to really notice or care, dancing like they weren't practicing for a show they’d be preforming for a week straight in front of whoever was interested enough to show up.

Dead Guy Walking, however...was something, that's for sure.

It was by far the worst one. Not musically, that was perhaps one of the best, actually. Regulus hit his notes with confidence and half-assed mental apologies to James' neighbours. And James matched him perfectly, harmonies blending in a way Regulus had absolutely nothing to say about it.

The bad part was the topic of song itself and the awkward energy of the room that came with it. Regulus stood in place, refusing to move like he had with Big Fun. James kept his distance, sensing Regulus' discomfort(it wasn't hard to), singing his parts with that same teasing smirk from earlier. Regulus was glad James didn't push him into physically acting the song out, even just a little bit. He didn't trust himself anywhere near James' lips. If they started, Regulus doubted he'd be able to stop and then James would be disgusted, Sirius would probably loose their damn mind and the next couple months would be absolute torture, the show pushing the two of them together when it would probably be the last thing James would evver want to do.

Tension was at an all time high when James and Regulus stopped singing for the instrumental and Sirius wrinkled his nose, face sour. "I just realized you two are going to be making out during this."

James raised an eyebrow at him. "Just now? Really? Not when we auditioned or were going over this song with McGonagall not too long ago?"

"We all know I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box, give me a break. Prongs. Just-" Sirius made a gagging noise. "Oh god, you two have to practically fuck on stage, I think I'm going to throw up."

"Not on the carpet." Remus reminded.

Thankfully, before the conversation progressed further, Regulus cut them off by singing his next line.

Fortunately for Regulus and everyone else, the higher energy level was back with The Me Inside of Me. James didn't let the awkwardness stay, getting right back into it and standing over Regulus' shoulder the moment the music for the next song had begun. Sirius seemed to have the most fun, skipping between people as they sang about his dead character, the relief in his expression at being over Dead Guy Walking evident. Peter, Mary and Dorcas were happy at finally getting to sing their solo lines and Regulus' shoulders slumped, relaxing as he lost himself to the atmosphere once more.

Blue was immaturely hilarious, even though it probably shouldn't have been, given the situation Vincent was in but people were holding back laughter anyways, Regulus included. There was something about one of his best friends dancing around the living room, making an absolute fool of himself as he sang about blue balls. Evan and Frank killed it, though, with everyone laughing at them and several people recording. In fact, the moment they noticed the first phone(Dorcas'), the shifted from dancing around Regulus to putting a show on for the camera.

Our Love Is God was scarily intimate. James' hands were like his singing voice, soft as he held his hand and firm when they wrapped around his waist. Regulus knew it was all for the show, an act. James was being J.D., not himself, but Regulus felt his heart jumping anyway. It felt like James, with the way he stared deep into his eyes as he sang the words, "I worship you. I'd trade my life for yours." Like he was trying to push the words down Regulus' throat, making him choke around the thorned truth, despite it being Regulus reading into things too much. Even the feral gleam that James' gaze took on as he chased Frank around the living room and as he circled Regulus later on in the song, repeating the words "Our love is God," until Regulus sang it back to him.

Dorcas and Mary - though more Dorcas, seeing as she sung the majority of the song - threw everything they had into Dead Gay Son. Dorcas danced around everyone else, especially Mary, as she sang, so unlike herself but perfect for her character. She painted a picture that would remain in Regulus' memories until the end of time(mainly because Evan had whipped out his phone in revenge). They didn't kiss like Regulus knew Mary and Dorcas would in the show, instead blowing one another overdramatic kisses across the huddle the large group had made around the living room. And noting the way Lily's shoulders seemed to tighten and Marlene pointedly looked away, Regulus assumed it was probably for the best.

Much like Our Love Is God, Seventeen practically gave Regulus whiplash as they went from the funky, catchy beat of Dead Gay Son to something soft, passionate and desperate. James started on one end of the living room and Regulus on the other but, somehow, they ended up tangled up in one another yet again. It felt like there was a magnet impedded deep into their souls, buried beneath tightly woven crimson strings that tugged them closer with each word until it began to sew their skin together, two entites become one on a plane neither of them could reach. Regulus forced himself to believe it was the power of acting, that he and James were just so perfect at playing their characters the link between Vincent and J.D. had managed to seep into the actors themselves.

"Yeah, we're damaged."

Regulus' voice went slightly breathy as James stepped close.

"Badly damaged."

James' hands wound around his waist, softer than any touch Regulus has ever felt yet tight enough Regulus couldn't wiggle out even if he tried.

"But your love's too good to lose."

James was looking at him like that again, like he meant the words he sang and thought that, if he stared at him with enough intention, Regulus would believe them. He doesn't mean it. He's acting, he's actinghe'sactinghe'sactinghe'sacting-

"Hold me tighter."

James complied, squeezing him the slightest bit tighter.

"Even closer."

"I'll stay if I'm what you choose."

"Can't we be seventeen?"

"If I am what you choose."

"If we've still got the right."

"'Cause you're the one I choose."

"You're the one I choose."

James' hand came up, gently cradling his jaw. Regulus stared up at him, eyes wide as his finger began to rub softly against his cheek.

"You're the one I choose."

They were forced apart as the song ended by Peter, who ripped the two away from each other and stepped into the centre of the room to own Shine a Light. The part was perfect for Peter, Flemming just a little weird but still caring deeply for large issues(even if his motives aren't always exactly what one would consider 'right'). And the gossip inside him made his delivery of the line "And Stephanie, I'm ending our affair," all the better.

Regulus was once again reminded that he is surrounded by actors and actresses when Marlene gave her performance of Lifeboat. Marlene, who was typically a loud and chaotic walking neon sign, poured her heart and soul into the song and Regulus, quite honestly, felt a little bad. Dorcas, too, from the way she frowned behind Marlene's back, out of view lest McKinnon take it as an insult to her acting.

Barty's delivery of Shine a Light(Reprise) was proof that there would have been no better person to be casted for Heather Duke. From the way he got right up in Marlene's face to his expression changing from malicious, to mocking, to smug several times over in the forty-two seconds the song took to sing swirled together in an immaculate presentation of Heather Duke that was so Barty.

If anyone were to judge the abilities of Lily Evans, Regulus would assume they've never seen her sing. The way Lily sung Kindergarten Boyfriend,the rightest bit absurd and devastating, made Regulus feel guilty for ever attempting to sing in the first place.

Yo, Bro is when things went a little weird.

Regulus didn't notice at first but when Evan, Sirius and Frank began to sang their parts, he saw that one very important person for both this song and the next(especially the next), was nowhere in sight.

"Yo, bro, keep it together."

"I, knew, you would come far."

"Now, you're, truely a Heather."

"Smell, how, gangsta you are."

"Martha, I'm so sorry."

Regulus looked around at those who weren't participating in this song, the question evident in his eyes. Where is James?

Lily shrugged, Mary gave him a look that said 'how the fuck should I know?' and Remus gave him a smirk that Regulus did not at all find comforting.

"Yo, bro, feel a bit punchy?"

"She's, not, looking so well."

"Now, you've, earned that red scrunchie."

"Come, join, Heather in hell."

"Where have you been?" Peter demanded and Regulus met his gaze, feeling slightly overwhelmed because where the fuck is Potter?

"We've been worried sick!" Pandora said, snagging Regulus' attention. "Your friend J.D. stopped by. He told us everything!
"

"Everything?"

"Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?"

"He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!" Pandora cried, shoving a random book opened to a random page under Regulus' nose.

"He's got your handwriting down cold." Sirius commented, leaning over Regulus' shoulder and Regulus jumped.

"Please, honey, talk to us!"

"No, you wouldn't understand."

"Try me! I've experienced everything you're going through right now."

"Guess who's right down the block."

"Your problems seem like life and death-"

"Guess who's climbing the stairs."

"I promise, they're not!"

"Guess who's picking your lock."

"You don't know what my world looks like."

"Time's up, go say your prayers!"

"Vincent's running on, running on fumes now."

"Vincent's totally fried."

Regulus looked around, examining each face. Maybe he missed him?

"Vincent's gotta be tripping on 'shrooms now."

"Thinking that he can hide."

There's no way James would bail out now. They have four more songs left of the soundtrack after this, why would he leave? He has to be here but where?

"Vincent's done for, there's no doubt now."

"Notify next of kin."

James fucking Potter if you don't show yourself in the next ten seconds I swear to god-

"Vincent's trying to keep him out now."

"Too late! He got in."

"Knock, knock," James announced and Regulus let out a little screech as he popped out from behind the couch. He jumped over it, smirking as he continued. "Sorry for coming in through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know."

"Get out of my house." Regulus took several steps back, giving James the floor and slightly afraid of how genuine the manic gleam in his eye looked.

"Hiding in the closet? Come on, open the door."

"I'll scream. My parents will call the police."

Regulus barely noticed as the background silence that had followed after Yo, Bro shifted into Meant To Be Yours. All he could focus on was the sharp grin that spread across James' face. "All is forgiven, baby! Come on out and get dressed. You're my date to the pep rally tonight."

"What? Why?"

"Our classmates thought they were signing a petition, you gotta come out here and see what they really signed!"

Regulus spent the next three and a half minutes having to consciously keep his jaw closed to keep him from drooling. He doesn't know why but as James got slowly more insane throughout the song, breathing turning erratic and movements becoming frantic...god damn. That should not be attractive in the first place, much less enough to make Regulus drop to his knees if James so much as whispered the demand.

Regulus ignored Barty and Remus' amused stares as the song changed to Dead Guy Walking(Reprise), instead clearing his throat and rolling his shoulders before suppressing every little dirty part of himself that wanted to jump James Potter's bones right then and there, focusing all his energy on getting through the last few songs. As was consistent with James, he used a pillow as the bomb and his fingers as a gun, except for when he and Regulus were supposed to be fighting. They didn't even do that, actually, instead switching up on Regulus so fast he had to blink in confusion out of his brain. James went from playing the psychotic, mentally unstable, thirsty J.D. to his own, happy-go-lucky self in a matter of seconds, eyes and grin softing as he fake punched Regulus with comedic intent from a distance.

Regulus was, one a-fucking-gain reminded that James was acting and every real signal Regulus had been desperately picking up on was all apart for the part, all for the show.

James switched up on him again, just as abrupt, when I Am Damaged came on. James cried real tears right before J.D. blew up before falling to the floor dramatically and Regulus felt a growing pit of angry disappointment churn in his gut. He was furious, at James for being a good enough actor to play with Regulus' very real feelings and at himself, for even mistaking acting for something else, something more. Regulus Black was supposed to be smart but at the current moment, he felt nothing but stupid.

Regulus didn't feel half the excitement and enthusiasm as his friends and his character during the Seventeen(Reprise) but, as Regulus had learned several times throughout the past hour and a bit, that's what acting was all about.