Wedding On Time

Remus really, really, really wanted to know why he made the decisions he made. How did he end up in this situation? How could he look at his friends after this, and tell them 'Remember this one time I was grounded forever and then unexpectedly ungrounded? Yeah, it wasn't actually that abrupt. I made a deal with my parents about me marrying someone before my 27th birthday. And another thing, I'd completely forgotten about this, so here I am, saying goodbye.'

It all happened because Remus was in conflict with his parents. Well, dad mostly. That's because Remus liked to agree with his dad about everything, not really listening to what Lyall was saying. He did it just for the sake of agreeing. It was beneficial, really, since Remus didn't have to listen to what his dad had to say and at the same time, his dad was pleased with his docile son. Everything was alright, until his letter of acceptance came. Because Remus wanted to be a writer and it turned out that his dad resented this occupation in more than one way. It turned out that more than once, Lyall gave Remus a long monologue about why no one in his family was a writer and why it was for the best. And Remus didn't know this, but apparently, he agreed with his dad. And because Remus clearly had no idea what Lyall was talking about, since he wasn’t listening to him, just agreeing thoughtlessly… When his acceptance letter came, it all came to light. How Remus never really agreed with his dad. How he was immature and disrespectful. Remus had the same opinion. Not because he wasn't listening, but he really admitted to himself that when someone is speaking to you, you should listen or say you don't at least. 

On his defence, though, Remus was really, really busy then. It wasn't like he did not listen to his dad during all his life. No, it started around 4th class, when his crush on Sirius began to develop. Because he couldn't focus on his school assignments and he needed not only to learn, but also to get good grades. And one day, Remus noticed it was easier for him to focus, when someone talked to him. Like distractors made him focus more on things he had to do. Unfortunately music wouldn't work that way, because Remus instead focusing on schoolwork, was focused on melody and words. So after all, he decided to take advantage of his dad working at home and being there basically always. And it was for a higher purpose, of course. For Remus to get good grades and not fall behind. 

But, yes, Lyall saw the legendary acceptance letter, everything came to light, and Remus' dad knew that his son rarely paid him any attention when he was speaking. 

So an argument broke out. And Lyall was furious. Remus never saw him this angry. And then after being mad about Remus' school, father and son started finding more reasons to fall apart. Conflict between them became open. Lyall was a father who wasn't accepting his son's decisions and free will. Remus was a son who didn't give a damn about his father and also couldn't face him and talk, instead of retreating. Oh, and also he was infantile and couldn't even find someone he could be with romantically. These Lyall's words were actually below the belt for Remus and he made it very clear that he thought so. 

So it all ended up with Remus making a deal with his father, or maybe it was more like a bet. Saying that he could settle down without a problem and without his parents' help, working as a writer and finding himself a partner before he is 30. And his dad said Remus will have to be married before his 27th birthday, probably just to spite him. So because Remus was an annoyed teenager and believed he had a whole life to live before his 27th birthday, he agreed. This way, Remus was ungrounded, could meet with his friends again and his dad wouldn't have a say in Remus' future career choice. He wouldn't even comment on it, wouldn’t say it was pointless to study for being a writer, or that it was unsteady and underpaid work. Or anything else he would think up. 

But if Remus didn't fulfil his part of the deal, he was to come back to his hometown, to his parents and live with the realisation that what he thought safe and certain, was not. 

And after something around a decade, of course Remus forgot. His dad did not, though. Remus believed now that his father must have been really tenacious since he remembered. And Remus must have really gotten under his skin. 

Lily, too, must have felt ridiculous seeing how his father came to Remus' house and heard that he must go back. They were just chilling out, watching Friends, and eating chocolate muffins when there was a knock on a door. Remus of course let his father in, not suspecting what he would hear in a moment. Though he still was in a better position than Lily. He had the newly remembered memory advantage, seeing how Lily stood, with shock visible on her face. 

Lyall explained everything to Lily, and Remus has never felt so embarrassed in his life. 

"I can't believe you remember this and still hold it against me," said Remus. He really did feel ridiculous. His dad was an adult and Remus was a stupid teen when everything happened. "You can't be genuine, now."

"I am though," admitted Lyall. "And I’m going to be. We had a deal, Remus."

"It's stupid," he disbelieved. He was truly incredulous. 

"You didn't think so, when we made our deal."

"Yes, and I wasn't today years old," Remus stared at his father.

"Son," sighed Lyall. "I would back down, really. But then you wouldn't learn about how important it is to take responsibility for your words. And if I turned a blind eye to it, I wouldn't teach you the importance of keeping your word. And paying attention to what you agree on."

"But…" interrupted Lily. "What are you going to do?"

"He broke his promise, so I'm taking him back to his hometown."

"You can't take him," said Lily almost automatically. But Remus saw how she was thinking intensely, trying to come up with something. He was grateful, because his mind was truly blank. 

"Well, unless he is married in a day, I can."

And Remus thought he was finished. Utterly, undeniably finished. He could be an immature dealbreaker who doesn't even have courage to live with consequences of his own words, or he could live in a small town, far from his friends, living a life his dad wanted him to, not his own. 

But then he saw something on Lily's face. It wasn't noticeable for someone who didn't know her well, but Remus knew this look on her face. There it was, a mischievous gleam in her eye. 

"That's really great he is, then," she announced. Remus tried to conceal his surprise. And he really wanted to look at Lily, implying she lost her mind. To pass her a message with his eyes. To call her crazy.

"You are?" asked Lyall, surprised, maybe even more than Remus. Remus, though, wanted to ask Lily the same question his father asked. He felt his headache coming. 

"I'm not sure if that counts…" he said carefully. Remus didn't really want to say anything that would screw up whatever Lily came up with. 

"Well, if you are engaged, I guess so." Lyall looked at Remus' fingers and seeing there was no ring, he furrowed his brows. Lily was sending Remus a lot of looks that said 'go with it', but it was more than a bit to handle. "But why haven't you invited your family?" 

"We wanted to have a… private wedding," said Remus.

Lily stepped in then. "And… it's a bit controversial one, I believe," she smiled. "Though nothing you haven't experienced. The most important part is intact. It is… serious love that Remus feels, and that's what counts the most. I believe, for you, too."

"Do you think you could still invite your parents Remus? It's not something me or Hope would want to miss out on."

He didn’t want to agree, still not understanding what Lily came up with, but Remus believed her plan wouldn't be too stupid or risky. It was Lily they talked about, after all. So he just smiled, trying to seem natural and nodded.

"I believe so… yes."

***

The plan turned out to be too stupid and risky. First things first, though.

The next step of Lily's mysterious plan was, as Remus started to understand, including all of the Marauders in this scheme. They met at Remus' flat. Soon after Lyall's departure, his friends started flooding in, to sit down in the living room. First came Mary, because she and Lily lived the closest. Next was James and Regulus, then Marlene and Dorcas and the last one to come was Sirius. 

"Everyone is already here," Remus said, while letting him in. 

Sirius examined Remus intensely. "You look… stressed out." 

And Remus huffed a laugh. "Putting it mildly."

And when they both found a place to sit, Lily clapped loudly. 

"Alright, since you are all here, we have an important matter to discuss and then a wedding to organise." 

Sirius glanced at Remus with raised eyebrows, but he shook his head. He let Lily talk. 

And she talked. She introduced them to Remus' stupid deal with his father, she enjoyed her dramatics and she gave them a moment to process the information. 

It was Regulus, who first spoke up. "If it's all true, I must admit, I'm a little disappointed. I've been convinced you are the sensible one, Remus." 

Remus groaned and James nudged Regulus. "Well, I'm sure no one really expected this… course of events. But I'm more surprised Lyall decided to really hold Remus to his word."

"Now, I think of it, I remember there was a time, when Remus was separated from all of us and any type of communication was useless." Marlene had a contemplative look on her face.

"Yeah, me and Sirius visited him a few times, then. Once Lyall told us he's sick, other times that he's not at home, and when we wouldn't stop pestering him, he told us Remus is grounded and we should stop coming."

Dorcas snickered. "As if locking Remus in his house with all his books, all alone, would be a punishment."

"Well, as we know, now, he made the deal he made," observed Mary, "so I believe we can agree, it actually was a punishment."

"And it's not like he could stay away from…" added Lily, stopping herself from saying something. "From his friends." And though a few were tactful not to do this, Lily, Dorcas, Regulus and James, all glanced at Sirius. Remus felt his cheeks heat up. 

"You are a bit speechless, brother," smirked the younger Black. And Remus noticed, he was right. Sirius was unusually quiet, and what's more, even paler than normally. 

"Are you all right, Sirius?" asked Remus and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Do you want water, maybe?"

But Sirius shook his head. "No… Everything… is fine, I guess. But what is the plan to prevent Remus from leaving?" he looked at Lily. Remus took his hand from his friend's arm and placed it on his own lap. He was grateful, no one seemed to be interested, why he started to be so ignorant toward his father. They had more things to focus on, though. It didn't change the fact that he felt truly relieved. 

Especially since his father was half-right. Remus really, hadn't been in any stable relationship, and it was hard enough to maintain some of his fickle ones he had during the last decade. It was difficult, because no one was Sirius. And it would be too hard to forget Sirius when he was next to him all his life. Maybe coming back home wasn't that bad of an idea. Remus would be separated from his beautiful and adorable black-haired friend and maybe, just maybe he could move on. But then again, he had a life here. His real home was with all his friends, and staying alone for the rest of his life was a better option than finding someone who wouldn't even be Sirius, and living without this family he found himself. He loved them. And seeing them now, observing how they were ready to act when he was in trouble, and not even questioning it, made him… just warm. 

"And that is the best part," Lily grinned. 

"But the only way I see it, is to find someone for Remus to marry in a day?" Marlene half-asked, half-admitted. 

"Bingo," Lily said, pointing at her. 

"Though, we can’t just find anyone," James furrowed his eyebrows. "We can't give Remus away to someone who doesn't deserve him, right?"

"And that's why," Lily nodded to herself, like she wanted to reassure herself it was a good plan. "There is only one person perfect for the role."

Remus started dreading Lily's next words. He felt like he was beginning to understand the plan, the people around, the confidence Lily had while bluffing to his father. And he did not like this plan, at all. 

Remus looked at his friends, and though most of them were watching Lily with interest, he saw how Regulus and Dorcas were smirking. How James glanced at Sirius. Remus did so, too, and made a bit frightening observation, that Sirius was even paler than earlier. 

And this way Remus got stressed out even further. Because what if his friend started to suspect what Lily came up with? And that's why he was so pale? The last thing Remus wanted was to force himself or Sirius into something so… false. Pretended. 

"I am not the best person for this role, though I would love to help," said Lily. "So is Mary, because she is married to me. James and Regulus are married, too, so they are out automatically. Marlene with Dorcas are in a long-term relationship. The only person who is available for this role is Sirius." 

Everyone looked at Sirius, and Remus noticed, taken aback, that his friend was… Dumbstruck. He didn't expect it. 

"I-" hesitated Remus. "I can't indulge anyone in this kind of plan. I can't believe you're suggesting it, Lily." 

To his surprise, it was Regulus who spoke up. "I actually think it's not that bad."

"Yes, as the voice of reason I feel the need to agree," nodded James.

"You are no one voice of reason," hissed Remus. "And what is wrong with you Regulus? Weren't you saying something about mistaking me as a sensible one? I guess we share the spirit, now."

"No, no… It's actually good." Mary agreed with her wife. "It's secure. No one will doubt it's fake. Lyall and Hope know you've been best friends half of your lives. It's credible."

"I would marry Moony?" asked Sirius, still dumbfounded, despite discussion around him. He seemed to register words, because his face was turning to the sources of the voices, but it looked like he didn't know what everyone was saying. 

"Yes, you dumbarse," laughed Dorcas. "You would be Moony's husband."

"And you can divorce any time, your deal didn’t say a thing about it," Lily added quickly, noticing Remus’ distress.

"It's vile to talk about someone divorce, before their wedding day," James remarked.

"And a day before their wedding," Dorcas sighed, giving Lily a disappointed look. 

"I must bring you all down to earth. No one agreed to the wedding," stated Remus, mildly annoyed. 

"What are you talking about," asked Mary. "Majority decided."

"Yes, on someone else's lives, thank you very much." And Remus really didn't want it. Not this way. Not forcing Sirius into a marriage, having this bit of his teenage dream come true, and then having it all finished. Because it all was a ploy to make Remus stay. Nothing more. Not to Sirius. And Remus hated that. If Sirius were to be his, he wanted it to be real. Not… arranged. And after this came true? Remus would be back to his reality, with being Sirius' friend again. And he didn’t know if he could. He believed it would be better to just go back to his hometown, because after experiencing Sirius in the way he dreamed of, he would have to leave anyway. Because it would be too much. 

Lily crouched in front of Remus and took his hand. "Everything will turn out fine, I promise."

"I- I can't," he whispered, not even sure she heard him. But she smiled sadly and squeezed his hand in understanding. 

"It's for the best. Trust me," she said. Remus saw Sirius was starting to regain his consciousness and sighed.

"Still, there is no way to find a way to legalise this relationship in a day, right?" 

"There is nothing impossible for us," claimed Dorcas and embraced Marlene. They smiled at each other. 

"Well, there is one thing that is the most important, though," Remus clenched his teeth. "I'm not going to force Sirius into a relationship with me. Even the fake one."

"You…" Sirius spoke up. Remus looked at him and saw sad, puppy eyes staring at him. "I guess you wouldn't want to marry me." 

And Remus felt he was done for. Because no answer was the correct one. 

"It's not… It's not this." 

"Moony," said Sirius with a stable, soft voice. He stopped looking at Remus, but Remus was watching his friend intensely, trying to understand things he said and those he did not. "I understand, really. It's not like you are in a… pleasant situation."

"Well…" Remus thought of how to formulate a sentence that wouldn't reveal too much about his feelings. "It's not pleasant, because I have to speed up some unusual things, but it's pleasant in an unexpected way…?" he half-asked. "I mean, I know I can always count on you, but it's such an unexpected situation that I'm happy you're here, with me, and trying to resolve it."

James patted his arms. "Oh, my great mate, we're not going to let you go that easily."

Remus smiled at him and glanced at Sirius, who was still looking at him. 

"But do you want to?" Sirius asked. "Marry me, I mean." Remus' heart pounded strongly, and felt like he could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Sirius must have understood what he asked, because he blushed. "Once again, I mean, fake-marry me. We can divorce if you want. I mean, we'll divorce after all of this. Because it's fake. Fake-marriage. Wow, that's crazy."

"It's not as crazy as you think," Marlene commented. Remus knew she had read a lot of books with fake-marriage trope, though it was Lily's idea, in the first place. 

"I do," Remus said, answering Sirius' question. He looked him straight into eyes and smiled, a bit strained, because it was an answer to all questions Sirius asked. And it was tragic for Remus, that the answer stayed this way, when so many years have passed, and so many will come to pass, when the answer will be probably the same. He does. Remus does. And he did, and would do. 

"So…" Lily clapped her hands with excitement buzzing out of her. She glanced at Mary, who was looking at her with fondness. They smiled at each other shortly, before Lily scanned the group. "We have one day to plan a wedding, my great fellows." 

***

It was weird for Remus to think he would be married tomorrow, if everything went smoothly. At the same time, it wasn't anything strange for him, because he didn't really feel the finality of this plan. Well, not really a plan, because it was so sudden, it was hard to call this wedding disaster a plan. But if there were people who coped well with unexpected situations, it would be the Marauders. That's why Remus didn't feel stressed out, when he was kicked off from his flat with Sirius. He was just tired. And because the situation still felt unreal, he wasn't worried. It was the most distant tomorrow Remus has ever experienced. He looked at Sirius who glanced at him anxiously. 

"What now?" Sirius asked. 

Remus shrugged. "They told us you have to find something neat to wear, and if you haven't got anything, then to buy something. I think we could start from it?"

"I've no idea if I have something chic enough to wear to a wedding. So, yes, we can go to mine," Sirius said, a bit low-spirited. Lily already showed them that Remus had a dark suit, which suited him well. And it kind of made them think everything got serious, but at the same time, it still felt surreal. Remus guessed the wedding will feel only more and more real from this point. 

He stepped closer to Sirius, to touch his leather jacket and adjust it a little. Then he looked at Sirius, who was watching him, "For me, you could wear your jacket, and whatever you fancy."

Sirius showed him a small smile. "I wouldn't like for your parents to hate me though."

"They wouldn't." Remus said, immediately, without really thinking. And it was really stupid for Sirius to think that they could. They loved him. Everyone loved Sirius. How could someone not? Someone could, though. It hurt Remus to know that Sirius won't be ever able to comprehend the full capacity of how significant he was for all of them. How they were fond of him and how easily Sirius made people enamoured of him. He naturally knew, he's attractive and that his appearance grabbed the attention of many. He had many moments, though, when he forgot or couldn't understand that they all stayed, because of him, not because of his genes. And it was all because of the way his parents treated him. "They love you, and they have multiple reasons to." 

"I know," Sirius said, beaming at Remus. It was then, seeing how close to each other they were, that Remus remembered he was about to take a step back. The smell of Sirius' cologne, the look in his eye, the lack of sounds at this moment, made Remus' mind too chaotic for his own good. It all made him a little dizzy. 

"Let's go, then. I'm serious, though, you can wear whatever you want."

"I would joke that you're not Sirius, but you'll be Black soon, but then again, I hope we'll go both for Lupin."

Remus glanced at Sirius, surprised, before bursting out laughing. When they locked eyes, Remus noticed that Sirius was watching him, like he always did, and looked joyful, too. 

***

It was a fast way to Sirius' place, though it took them quite some time, until Remus joined in rummaging in the clothes and found a closed box with neatly packed white suit, that looked like it's never even been taken out. 

"Oh?" Sirius looked genuinely surprised, when Remus showed him the attire. He took it in his hands and examined it with a smile. "James bought it for me, for his wedding, but the twat he is, he ordered it too late, and the suit hadn't arrived on time. It was quite nice, actually, because Regulus said he was done with organising everything, for James to fail even this simple task. And then he said it was James' job now to phone people to confirm what had to be confirmed, and took me shopping. Whole situation ended up being a lovely bonding time between me and Regulus."

"I didn't know," Remus said, because, well, he didn't. "I remember you went shopping for a suit with Regulus, but it's just now that I've learned the whole story."

"That's because James begged me not to tell anyone," Sirius chuckled. "I believe he would laugh it off, but he was so stressed out about his wedding with Regulus, that everything seemed principal to him." Sirius looked up from his suit to Remus, "I guess he bought the suit for my wedding, instead of his."

Remus felt the blush on his cheeks, but smiled. "Yeah, I can't believe I haven't heard of it earlier, though."

"I can't believe Regulus didn't gossip about it with you."

Remus laughed. "He probably told Evan and Barty everything. I will have to bully him about it. And James, too, what a git."

What Remus didn't add was how magnificent it turned out for Sirius to wear the suit from their almost life-long best friend on their wedding day. How it would be important to Sirius, if the wedding was real.

What he omitted was, how magnificent Sirius will be looking all in white, like his surname meant nothing. Like it should. And how beautiful he looked in his room, with a fond smile on his face, while holding something important to him. 

Remus didn't tell about this warm feeling in his heart, when he saw Sirius transfixed on thinking about his soulmate, how calm he looked. Or about the feeling in his gut, when he imagined Sirius in this white suit, highlighting his figure, making him look even more charming and elegant. 

Instead Remus waited for Sirius to focus on him again, so they could go ahead with the plan. And when the moment finally came, it was so hard for Remus to break the moment of their eye-contact. It was such a simple time, when their eyes met and all they could do, really, was to keep looking at each other. It was so easy to forget the time, when one could see the grey depth of so beautiful eyes. 

But then again, the next task was supposed to be romantic and unforgettable, and Remus wanted to get it over with, because who would want to try on rings with the person they loved, but without reciprocity…? Remus would love to try to enjoy it, make the most of it and pretend it was real, only for a short bit, but he knew that coming back to reality could be only harder then. So he smiled and suggested the next step, and they went to the city.

They didn't know any jewellery shops, so Sirius google-mapsed it. Choosing the ring then, was rather simple. 

Remus knew Sirius would rather have something fancier, but he chose a beautiful, but simple ring, that Remus liked instantly, and he was sure that Sirius took it with him in mind. 

"Did you know," Remus said quietly, gazing at his hand that Sirius held to put on the ring. Their hairs mingled together, because of their tilted heads. "Did you know that a wedding ring is worn on the left hand as this side is the closest to the heart, but in many cultures, the right ring finger symbolises love and trust, so they prefer the right side? Also some fingers have special meaning, for example wearing a ring on a thumb has been a symbol of wealth, and two rings on the left little finger stand for fallen out of favour."

Remus peeked at Sirius' face and saw him smiling. "I didn't know," Sirius said, but kept smiling like there was some kind of inside joke that Remus wasn't aware of. Remus was guessing that Sirius was calling him a geek in mind, that's why he was smiling this way. It was fond, though. And smiling Sirius essentially meant Remus being captivated by him, or smiling Remus. So he smiled, and looked down at their hands, observing how Sirius' lean, long fingers held Remus' own. It was a brief moment, but Sirius linked their fingers, and then pulled his hand back, to hand over the second ring. 

Remus took it, and repeated the action of putting on the ring. The situation was strangely intimate, even though it took place in a literal shop with jewellery. It was the meaning, probably. The quietness of this bit, the way the rings fitted on perfectly, the hands holding, the touches, the… the person. Remus gazed up at Sirius, surprisingly finding him already looking at him. Sirius smiled an odd smile, a little strained, maybe.

"It fits perfectly, doesn't it?" Sirius asked, and Remus had difficulties with stopping himself from over-analysing his friend's facial expression. 

"It is," Remus admitted quietly. They communicated almost in whispers, and this alone was unusual for them. Not the silence. Silence was never the problem. Sirius spoke a lot, and Remus loved listening to him, to his voice even, but it didn't mean there weren't silent moments between them. They were meaningful, and not that uncommon, and they meant a lot for Remus, but this… This quietness was different. The whispers, the carefulness, the focus on the moment… Remus wondered whether Sirius' thoughts were about them. What Sirius believed they were, how he felt about being forced to marry his friend and acting like there was nothing strange about it. 

What Sirius thought about their faces, tilted a bit, really close to each other. Eyes locked. Feeling each other's breaths on their faces. Sensing each other's smiles. Remus could just lean in and…

And his phone buzzed with a message, so he took a step back, not being able to smile. 

Remus' hands trembled a little, when he took out his phone. He didn't risk a look at Sirius, with a knowledge that his intent could be seen. Remus wanted to knock some sense into himself, because why would he think it was sensible to try to kiss Sirius?

Mom

Sweetie, we'll be at yours in around ten minutes. Are you home? We would like to meet your partner.

Remus answered with a bit more stable hands.

We're near Brews and Stews Café, you can meet us there.

"My parents are coming," Remus announced, finally looking at Sirius. He had a studious expression on his face, but Remus could have imagined it, because in a moment, he was smiling again.

"Then I'll… We'll buy the rings and then can go?" Sirius asked.

"You're not buying anything for something I forced you into," Remus declared strongly, but Sirius only furrowed his eyebrows.

"First, you're not forcing me into anything, second, if you won't let me buy yourself a ring, then let me buy one for myself."

And after a few minutes of quiet bickering, they decided to let one person pay, and the other would pay the right amount of money back, when they were at home. 

"I wish I had someone who would look at me the way you look at each other," the saleswoman said to them, when they approached the counter. "Heck, I would love to have someone to look at this way."

"This way?" Remus asked, because he was curious what someone who didn't know them thought about their relationship. 

"You know, the way," she chuckled. "Like the world is limited to that one person at this moment."

Sirius laughed and hooked his arm around Remus' waist. "You would have to find your Moony, then," he said, and Remus held his gaze. He felt astounded by the gesture, but at the same time, it shouldn't be that surprising, right? Since Sirius was an affectionate person in general. You could do any basic, daily act, and he could sneak in and place his chin on your shoulder like it's the most natural thing to do. And Remus hated that and loved it at the same time. He wished Sirius did that more often. He wished he would have courage to do the same. 

"That's the look!" saleswoman noted. "Oh, I love and hate this job."

Remus laughed a little tensely and looked at the woman. Sirius paid, and they said 'thank you', before they went by foot to the destination place. 

"I think, I see your parents," Sirius said, and Remus noticed the familiar heads with light brown and blonde hair. He took Sirius' hand in his, and prayed it wasn't too sweaty. 

"Hi, mom," Remus announced their presence, and Hope almost jumped in place. 

"Remus, sweetie," she started with a huge grin on her face. Lyall only looked at them with a smile, but Hope looked at their linked fingers and her grin, if possible, grew even wider. "Oh, so it's Sirius?" and then she turned her head to Lyall, and her smile changed into something more mischievous. "I won."

"You didn't," Lyall scoffed. And it took Remus only a few seconds to understand what his parents did, and he thought it couldn't get more awkward. 

"You bet on who I'm marrying," Remus stated blankly.

"Yes," said Hope.

"No," Lyall claimed at the same time. Hope looked at him with a quirk of an eyebrow, so he rolled his eyes. "It wasn't a bet, because I literally said that it's Sirius, too." 

Hope laughed, but Remus wanted to die. He thought that it couldn't get more awkward? There was a whole meeting with his parents ahead of him, and the only person who had the ability to embarrass him more than Lily, was his mom. 

The next part of the conversation was interrupted by Lily, herself, so he said he has to answer it, giving a meaningful look at Sirius. He untangled their hands, and started conversing with Remus' parents. 

"Something's wrong?" Remus asked, the first thing after he answered the phone. Hope waved her hand at him, gesturing they were going to take the seats. Remus nodded and watched them entering the café. 

"Of course, you would think there's something wrong," Lily sounded exasperated, like she shouldn't be surprised by Remus' pessimistic way of thinking. "No, there's nothing wrong, though we're wondering about the type of decorations you would like to have on your wedding?"

"Lily," Remus laughed. "I'm literally doing nothing for my own wedding, you can choose whatever you find nice. The cheaper, the better, I believe, since it's only a fake wedding. And done for the last minute. It can even look ugly, actually, who cares."

"I care," Lily said, and she sounded somehow angry. "And you should, too." 

Remus saw through the window glass, how Sirius found seats with his parents, and smiled, seeing how they were easily engaged in the chat. "And that is why?"

"Because you're getting married to the love of your life?"

"I'm getting fake-married to the love of my life," he corrected her, and could feel how she rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes, it's the truth."

"I-" she started, but laughed. "All right, but you should stop thinking about it this way."

"And what way do you reckon I should think about it?"

"Well, you're-"

"No, Lily. Let's not talk about it. I'm tired of pining after my best friend for so many years, and your talks about how I should just tell him, are not helping."

"Isn't that sensible, though?"

Remus, whose eyes never left Sirius, saw him blushing. And then Sirius looked at him, his eyes softening a bit, before he went back to talking with Hope and Lyall, like nothing happened. Like he didn't make Remus' heart race with just one look. 

"It's not, because I would rather be tired and miserable, than without him at all."

"And what if you could be with him, and happy?"

"Lily."

"And what if he wants it as much as you do, but is also afraid of losing you?"

"It's impossible."

"Why?" 

"Because I'm obvious," Remus declared, and felt it was unnecessary, because it was, well, obvious.

Lily laughed, "So is Sirius."

"Sirius acts affectionately with everyone."

"Oh, good to know, you haven't denied that he's affectionate towards you, either."

"Yeah, you're so funny, but I must go."

"Have to be with your lover as soon as possible?"

"No," Remus said wearily. "My lover is having a pleasant chat with my parents, and I should join them."

"Hope is there?" Lily asked happily. "Oh, gosh, it's gotta be good, we're getting out of your place, then," she laughed, and without warning, ended the call.  Remus sighed, but couldn't really suppress the smile. Remus liked to have people around, who express their opinions even if they're not completely welcome. Maybe it masked his conscience of doing the same.  

Remus entered the building and saw the back of Sirius' head, so he followed the way.

"…love him," Sirius said, about something unknown to Remus. He tried no to ponder about things he didn't listen to. 

"We know sweetheart. We wouldn't give our son to anyone else knowing you hold each other so dearly," Hope said and her fond expression changed into a wide smile, when she saw Remus. "And we know how much you love each other, already."

"Mom…" Remus sighed, and Sirius twitched, startled, his eyes meeting Remus' ones. Remus took a seat next to Sirius and smiled at him. He took, and squeezed Sirius' hand, before drawing his hand away. It was his way of saying 'thank you', though Sirius looked at him questioningly like he was asking what he was thankful for. Remus could write him an essay about it. 

"Remus, sweetie, it's never been a secret for me, nor for your father," she reached Lyall's hand, "How much Sirius has been important to you. And then how much you loved him. So much time has passed, since your crush started, huh?"

And because they started treading on dangerous ground, Remus said, "Mom, maybe we should talk about something else." He was sure that Hope was fully aware of him being stressed out. She quirked an eyebrow.

"You haven't told Sirius about your crush on him? Sirius, dear?"

Sirius' laugh sounded a bit strangled. "He did not, actually."

"Oh, good gracious…" Remus sighed, feeling defeated already. 

"Remus, son, let your mother flatter your fiancé a bit," Lyall said.

Hope didn't wait for any agreement. "Remus' crush on you started… when… around 4th year, if I remember correctly," she pondered about something, and laughed abruptly. "I guess you were the reason, this deal between Remus and Lyall even took place," she said and was undeniably right. Though the last thing Remus wanted was for Sirius to know about it, so he remained neutral. Or maybe not, because he felt himself blushing, and even Lyall raised his eyebrow, looking at Remus. 

"Who didn't have a crush on Sirius then?" Remus tried to laugh it off, but at the same time wondered if hiding under the table was reasonable and sane for his age. 

"I guess, crushes never last long?" Sirius asked and Remus would have to look at him, but the waitress saved him, by taking their orders. 

Hope never forgets, though. She was back to the topic, the moment the waitress left. "Of course, not, Sirius. His crush lasted only a while, before transforming into something so much deeper, right, sweetie?" she looked at Remus. "I kind of felt sorry for all your flings, knowing you were in love with Sirius all this time. But I understood you tried to forget. I'm happy you can finally be together."

Remus supposed he was all red. Hope must have thought about it, too, because she laughed. Remus huffed a weak laugh, but he never felt so exposed in his life. And there weren't any real flings. Remus tried. He tried, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

He risked a glance at Sirius, who was looking intensely at him. Like he wanted to see something. To notice things he thought might be there. And Remus hoped he didn't find whatever he searched for, because the last thing he wanted, was for Sirius to know that it wasn't fake, not for Remus.

On the other hand, Sirius didn't look… distraught in any sense. He seemed… hopeful? Or was it Lily's words that made him let in the feelings that he tried to conceal? 

Also, Sirius looked mildly nervous. Remus didn't know what to think about all his friends and his parents knowing about his feelings. And Remus wasn't sure why Sirius should feel nervous, because it wasn't like Sirius had any part in Remus' parents betting on him. It wasn't Sirius' fault, that Remus was incurably in love with him for so long that everyone knew about it. It was about Remus' feelings being exposed, so that was him, who should feel nervous. Because Sirius could suspect that nothing has changed. 

"But as long as the happy and welcoming moment lasts, I can't say how you wronged us, so let's finish with the pleasantries." Hope said, reminding Remus that they were in the café, talking with his parents. "We came today, because we don't know anything about your wedding, when it will be, where it will be, what kind of wedding it will be, nothing. The only good thing about it, is that the wedding is private, so we won't have to stress a lot about our attire. But really, how could you think about not inviting your parents to your own wedding?"

"Well, it was kind of… fast," Remus said. 

Hope turned her reprimanding gaze to Sirius. "And you. I thought you're someone who can't contain their emotions and here we are. How could you not tell us?"

Sirius, visibly abashed, hid his face in his hands. Remus, feeling bad about his mom scolding Sirius for something he didn't do, sighed. He took Sirius' hand in his own and linked their fingers together. Sirius looked up at him, so Remus smiled, hopefully comfortingly. "It's not his fault," he said, looking at Sirius a few more moments, before turning his gaze to his mother. "I didn't want to tell you. And he respected that."

And if there was anything that Remus was good at, it was getting out of problematic situations.  

"And why is that, sweetie?" Hope asked with furrowed brows. 

"It's stupid."

"Tell us, son," Lyall said, his tone reassuring. 

"Can I tell you later?" Remus asked, and Hope looked between him and Sirius. She sighed, before she nodded and Remus hoped she believed it was something he wanted to tell her in private, not suspicion or comprehension of their scheme. "It's just I think it's not the best time to talk about it."

Lyall leaned in, so he could pat Remus' arm above the table. "You're right, son, it's your wedding tomorrow."

Remus looked at his dad gratefully.

"Oh, boys, you probably wanted to spend some time together and your noisy parents are interrupting you," Hope said with a pleased smile.

"No! No, of course not," Sirius said, loud enough to drown out Remus', "Yes," though not from himself. 

Sirius looked at him with surprise and Remus snorted. 

"You're so cute," the words slipped out from Remus' mouth, before he stilled, taken-aback, because it was supposed to stay in his mind. Sirius was even more stunned, but he recovered before the situation felt weird for Hope and Lyall.

"You think so?" Sirius asked, his cheeks heating up. 

"I do," Remus said honestly, taking advantage of the fact that he should say things like this. And because it fitted the situation, not because of any other reason, Remus took Sirius' head in his hands and placed a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. He pulled his face away a little, before giving one more peck on the nose, and letting go of Sirius' face, so he could turn to his parents. 

And maybe he didn't want to see Sirius' reaction. 

Hope was smiling fondly at them, so Remus couldn't help, but blush.  

***

The next part of the story was about driving Remus' parents to his flat, so they could spend the night there, while Remus would go to Sirius'. The farewell was short, Remus didn't have to do much, just gave his parents the towels and fresh bedclothes, before driving again, this time to Sirius' place. When Remus saw, and was sure his parents saw, too, two toothbrushes on his sink, he was actually amazed by Lily's ability to predict possible scenarios. Because before he and Sirius left his place, Lily suddenly remembered something and stopped them.

"Wait, there's something you should do, for the pretence," she said.

Remus sighed, "You're the mastermind, tell us."

"I think it would be sensible for Sirius to take some of his stuff to Remus' place, so it would look like he's a constant guest there, and that he's spending a lot of nights with Remus, right? And vice versa."

Marlene clasped her hands. "That's right!" she exclaimed. "Some shirts, pants, even underwear would do."

"Why would anyone search for Remus' underwear at Sirius' place," James laughed, but seeing how girls' faces turned serious, he coughed. "Yeah, I think they're right."

Lily rolled her eyes. "And most importantly things like toothbrushes or some essentials that you don't really borrow," she explained and it made perfect sense. Remus only exchanged glances with Sirius, before James scoffed. 

"What?" Dorcas asked.

James looked fondly at the girls, but to Remus' surprise it was Mary, who answered. "You should really pay some closer attention to Remus' flat. I mean, you're definitely not knowing what's going on in this home and you're literally here."

Marlene straightened up. "You mean…?"

"She means," Regulus said, "there's no need to place Sirius' things in Remus' flat, because they're already here."

Marlene and Dorcas looked at Remus taken aback, and he shrugged. He was more interested in the contemplative look on Lily's face.

"That makes sense. I actually wondered why haven't you thrown out the used up toothbrush. The one that looks like it's been used for too long, with the bristles all frayed. Now that you say it's Sirius', it all makes sense."

Sirius looked offended. "Why are you criticising my toothbrush? It's quite new and…" Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. "How did you know it's my toothbrush?"

"Wild guess," Lily grinned.

"I wouldn't call it wild," Marlene said, and they high-fived each other. 

"But you both have your own toothbrushes in each other's places or is it only Sirius that is over-eager?" Dorcas asked, looking genuinely curious. 

Remus shrugged. "You all have your romantic rendezvous, and neglect me and Sirius, so we spend some time together without you. Simple."

Everyone looked around each other with suggestive smiles, and Remus considered kicking them out, but then again, they were like this most of the time, it was just him that was the aim this time. 

Dorcas cleared her throat. "So maybe you have your toothbrush and some basic stuff, but you surely have to take some clothes to Remus' to make an impression you sleep there often?"

And it was a bit funny to Remus how the conversation turned full circle with this one question. Because they slept at each other's often and it was all platonic, but the 'pretence' like Lily called it, stayed the same. They had each other's toothbrushes, clothes and essentials at each other’s houses. He noticed that Sirius chose this one mug with a black dog on it, every time he was at Remus', so Remus put it away and it was for Sirius’ use only. Remus gave this mug to no one else, but Sirius. So Sirius even had his own bloody mug in Remus' kitchen. And Dorcas asked about making an impression of them sleeping at each other's places. There was no need for an impression, when there were real signs of them sleeping at each other's places, and spending many days together. 

Remus looked at Sirius, so they could exchange amused glances, but to his surprise, he was blushing. 

"Why wouldn't I sleep at Moony's," Sirius asked, not meeting Remus' eyes. 

It finally hit Remus, that maybe he should feel a bit more embarrassed about it. "Like I said, we spend time together, when you spend time together without us," he explained, because there was no need to tell his friends that they met a lot at night.

"Oh, shit, it's too comical," Dorcas laughed and James grinned. 

"So you have your things at Sirius', too?" Marlene asked.

"It's only fair, right?" Remus answered, and was suddenly overly conscious that his friends knew about his feelings. He only hoped that they didn't think he was taking advantage of the situation. Even though he did, a bit. 

"You're sure, you're not already married?" Regulus dead-panned. 

Everyone laughed. Everyone, but Remus and Sirius.

"It seems like they're doing everything in reverse order," Marlene noticed.

"So when will the kiss be?" James grinned at them, but before he could tell anything else, Sirius tackled him to the ground. Muffled cries and laughs made Marauders laugh once again.

***

Remus was lying in his bed, in his flat, Sirius lying beside him. Remus was lying on his back, with eyes on the ceiling, looking at the way the moon shined and made shadows. Looking at the trees' shadows, observing their dance in the blue light of the moon. He listened to Sirius' breath. He didn't have to turn his attention to the man next to him, to know he was curled up into a ball and hugging the pillow. After Sirius would fall asleep, the pillow would be replaced with Remus body, and it somehow made Remus feel unsteady to know his friend would embrace him in the sleep, unconscious. 

It was night as any other, when Sirius slept over. Remus lying in bed, wondering about unreasonable reality, enjoying the presence of his best friend, trying not to feel guilty, after the warmth of being hugged by him. They were to marry tomorrow, but nothing has changed. Remus didn't feel any different. He still wished he could hold Sirius, not only lie next to him. That he could watch him fall asleep, and when caught, say it's because he loves him. To have him all to himself, not only as a friend. To have Sirius in his own way. So no, nothing really changed about them, lying next to each other. 

"Isn't it different now? Lying next to each other?" Remus asked, though. Because he supposed it was something that someone in his position should feel. 

There was a silence for a moment, but Remus knew the pace of Sirius' breath. He wasn't asleep, yet. 

"It's not. Not for me," Sirius said quietly. The steady whisper in the room, where Remus could hear only Sirius' breath. Remus wished it wasn't that way for Sirius for the same reasons Remus had, but it wasn't really plausible. Sirius felt the same as always, because he felt nothing more for Remus. And getting married hasn't changed anything. They were still best friends. Why would Sirius feel any different? "Are you anxious?" another whisper broke through Remus' thoughts. 

Remus considered his feelings. Was he anxious? He felt a little resigned, and nostalgic. There was also a silly bit of excitement. That was an odd combination that made him disturbed. 

"Slightly," Remus answered. "Are you?"

Sirius chuckled. "Considerably."

Remus smiled, and turned his head to face Sirius. He was gazing at him, their heads on the same level. Silver eyes were darker, but the moonlight made it possible for the colour to stay visible. Sirius fitted to the night. Maybe it was because of the dark hair, the fair skin, and the liveliness still seen in the late hours of the day cycle. Maybe it was his name. Maybe the fit was about Sirius being approachable and delicate during the night, or it was possible that the mysterious mood of the moon made Sirius even more beautiful. 

It didn't really matter. 

Some people were bright during the day, Sirius fitted the night, because his little lightness illuminated the dark times, not the bright ones. He was the source of brightness, while the world around was consumed by darkness, and since Remus' world was mostly black, he acted like the moth drawn to the light. 

He was like a wolf who howled to the star, instead of the moon. 

"Tomorrow is the big day," Remus said, just to keep Sirius talking. 

"Yeah, your birthday, isn't it?"

Remus' eyes left Sirius' ones. 

"I think it's the least important event of tomorrow's day," he joked. Sirius furrowed his brows.

"It's one of the most important days in the year, Moony. It's the day to celebrate having you with us."

"I sure will be celebrating," Remus whispered, turning back to look at the ceiling, again. He didn't see the expression on Sirius' face, he only heard the silence. 

"If you don't feel well about the wedding tomorrow, we can cancel it any time. We'll find another solution," Sirius' voice broke the quietness of the room. Remus was surprised, but then guessed Sirius thought he was being sarcastic. The point is, Remus wasn't. He meant it, when he said tomorrow, he would be celebrating. Having a wedding on this date? With the love of his life? The glimpse of them being together, was the greatest gift for his birth anniversary. 

"I don't," Remus sighed, and thought what could he say next. Strategically. "I want to stay with you all, and I truly believe tomorrow's experience will be unforgettable. One day we'll be laughing about this. What about you?"

"I love it," Sirius' voice was quiet. A little sad even. Made Remus worried, hopefully for no reason. 

Remus changed his position so they could look at each other. "Really?" he asked. 

Sirius smiled dejectedly. "I do."

Remus gazed over his friend. He was entirely covered by the quilt, even hands under it. The pillow Sirius squeezed wasn't the only thing that divided him from Remus. It was a position full of trust, though. Sirius was unprotected this way. Remus could stretch his arm to cup Sirius' cheek, or to comb his hair, and Sirius wouldn't have any time to react. The process of taking his hands out from under the quilt would be too long. And maybe that's the reason Remus never tried anything. But the slightly sad expression on Sirius' face made him act unusually. The play of shadows and moon light on his face took this dejection on some weird level, as if it reflected Remus' own feelings. 

He swept his fingers across strands of black hair. Remus stroked the silky hair of his friend, far too immersed in the act, observing the way the lone, silky strands slipped through his fingers. When he looked down, to meet the gaze of Sirius', he almost missed the way he swallowed thickly. Sirius looked somewhat shy, peering at Remus through his eyelashes. 

Sirius wriggled a little, making the space between them narrower. He made it almost non-existent, coming closer to Remus, only a few centimetres from hiding his face in the crook of Remus' shoulder. Remus wondered if he should stop messing Sirius' hair, but his friend closed his eyes and looked so peaceful with the small smile forming on his face, that Remus continued stroking his hair. He felt the hot air from Sirius' breath on his neck, and the silkiness of his hair between his fingers. It made him feel different. Less stressed, more daring. He leaned his head a little, to kiss Sirius on top of his hair. His arm, in a way, half-embraced Sirius' body, and it felt poles apart from Sirius unconsciously hugging him in a sleep. It felt more real. Remus felt his heart beating fast and hard, and he hoped Sirius didn't hear it. 

He wanted more, though. 

He so wanted more. 

Sirius fidgeted under his arm a little, and Remus felt a hand creeping under his sheets. It was Sirius, trying to put his hand around Remus. When Sirius circled his hand around Remus' waist, Remus was thankful it was dark, and that Sirius faced down, because Remus supposed he was all red, and there was a smile trying to break through his willingness to stay impassive. Sirius would surely notice it.

He didn't though, since their position didn't let him, and Sirius didn't look up. He was hiding his face down, trying to fall asleep, and Remus couldn't think of anything else that he was mistaken.

This night was nothing like other ones. 

***

The next day, when they woke up, Remus found himself in the position he fell asleep. Embracing Sirius, and being embraced by him. He didn't want to get up at all. Well, he never does, but for other reasons than this time. He didn't feel his stomach clenched earlier, or his heart race like it wanted to rip off his chest to join the Sirius' one. He didn't feel like crying, because… He wasn't even sure of why, but he felt overwhelmed with emotions. Would it be alright to tighten his grasp on Sirius? To place his nose in his friend's hair? To feel tell him he is beautiful? 

Sirius stirred, and Remus wondered if it's possible for the heartbeat to wake up someone. He closed his eyes, and when he felt Sirius slipping from his arm, just a bit, he slowly opened his eyes. Remus imitated the confusion he saw on Sirius' face, and probably didn't have to worry about not being able to imitate the blush. Pretending wasn't necessary, here. 

Sirius examined Remus' face quickly, before burying his own in the crook of Remus' shoulder once again. 

"My hair is probably all dishevelled," Sirius mumbled. Remus laughed, and reflexively pulled Sirius closer to him. He almost stilled, but remembered to act naturally, so he huffed one more laugh. 

"I don't think you were worried about it during the prior sleepovers," Remus noticed with a smile. 

"You're wrong, I've been getting up to brush them," Sirius breathed out on Remus' neck. The warm air made him realise that Sirius must be smothering himself in this position. So Remus tried to pull Sirius away a little, just so he could breathe properly, but his friend made a clutch at Remus' body. 

"You've been getting up, brushing your hair, and coming back to bed?" Remus asked, a little shocked, though it finally made sense, that Sirius always looked perfect. Remus felt slightly ashamed he must have been looking like a scarecrow all this time. 

"Yhm…"

Remus took courage to raise his hand and to comb Sirius' hair with it. He tried not to hurt Sirius by pulling hair, but despite not brushing them earlier, Remus' fingers went quite smoothly through the strands. There was a question Remus truly wanted to ask, but was afraid of hearing the answer. Why then… Why didn't Sirius get up earlier today? Why did he acted differently than he usually does? 

What Remus was afraid of, was to not hear the answer he wanted to. That Sirius also didn't want this moment to stop. That he wanted to hold onto Remus a little longer. 

There were a lot of feelings in this room, at the moment. A lot of ambivalence. A lot of wandering. What now, what later? Remus distinctly remembered that later their wedding was supposed to take place, before he remembered it was his birthday. He wasn't sure if it was the best or the worst gift Remus was ever given. It felt like a gift, nonetheless. The chance of starting something, a chance to maintain the present. Of not going away, of not losing his current life. Of losing it, because of these little moments that were never part of his day. The truth, though, was, that he lost a lot of his life, just by not doing anything. It wasn't a waste, because he still spent his time with Sirius, but at the same time, he could make something more, like embracing him, the same as today. Remus pitied those lost opportunities, and cheered every moment he didn't take them, because it still resulted in smiles, in dimples, in laughter. That was the ambivalence of his feelings. It all meant something. Something great and unrepeatable. Remus loved Sirius all this time, and he didn't really regret it. There were times when he felt like throwing everything and moving out, moving away from him, to start anew. But he didn't regret the loving part. He loved Sirius. 

"I'm sorry," Remus said, still playing with Sirius' hair. 

"You're sorry?" Sirius finally pulled away a little, just enough to look into Remus' eyes. "Why?"

Remus stopped the movement of his fingers, and instead he tucked a strand of Sirius' hair back behind his ear. 

"That you have to go through this because of me."

The way Sirius looked at Remus was a bit heartbreaking probably for both of them. Remus didn't have any doubt that his friend knew he meant the wedding. 

"Well," Sirius uttered, "now I can experience it, instead of daydreaming," he laughed. Remus almost felt his start stopping, and his world stilled for a moment. He would get desperate to get more answers, if not the feeling of being so overwhelmed. What did Sirius mean by daydreaming? What was Sirius thinking, when he said… "I mean," Sirius added quickly, "Daydreaming of the wedding. How it looks, and stuff," he laughed and sounded a bit strained. "From the groom's perspective, I mean."

Remus had no idea how he was able to say a thing, then. "Yeah," Remus almost threw this word out of his mouth. He felt a bit pathetic, because for a moment he thought that Lily was right, and Sirius wanted to… That he wanted to say he daydreamed of being with Remus. It was so… stupid, so pitiful of Remus that the thought even crossed his mind. The fall from hope hurt more than the reality, and Remus closed his eyes, hoping it didn't look odd. He felt like crying, though. He had to close them, because crying would be even worse. After a few seconds, Remus cleared his thoughts. "Yes," he said, and started untangling himself from Sirius. "I've got to take a shower, so…" 

The way to the bathroom never been this long. He still had the image of slightly abashed look on Sirius' face in his mind. The cold water only made him shiver, and didn’t make him feeling any better. Did Sirius know, that Remus liked him in a romantic way? Why would he look this way? What should Remus do? He only felt like not leaving the bathroom, until the wedding. Or maybe ditching wedding and going abroad? He could always send some messages, that he would be back someday. That something important came up. The distant cousin of his, that he was friends with when he was a kid, suddenly fell sick and he had to go abroad to see her or something. He could make up anything really. The crazier story, the better. 

Remus was looking at the mirror, staring into his own eyes, and trying to calm down, when there was a knock on the bathroom door. Sirius must have heard the water stopped running. 

"Moony?" Sirius' voice was distorted a little, and quiet through the door. The word Moony sounded a bit strange, not so natural as usual. More forced, like Sirius wanted to call him Remus, but ended up with Moony, since he felt it would make the situation more casual, but it did not. Calling Remus a Moony, probably made them even more aware that something happened, even if only Remus knew what. It was a shame that Sirius knew him so well, and sensed something was wrong, because Remus couldn't act like nothing had happened. 

Remus put on clothes, and opened the door. He was feeling the water dripping from his hair onto his clothes, making it wet and uncomfortable. Sirius took a step back, but his eyes never left Remus. It was kind of tense, and made Remus more conscious of himself. Of the water dripping. Drip, drip, drip. As if hearing Remus' thoughts, Sirius looked at the wet hair. Remus saw the moment Sirius gulped down his saliva. 

"Umm…" Remus tried to say something to make it less awkward for both of them. "You're ready for some breakfast?"

Sirius nodded, and Remus smiled a smile he hoped didn't look too strained. They ate toasts, drank hot beverages, even managed a little bit of a small talk. But it was weird. It was awkward. It wasn't them. Why wasn't it them? Remus could have sworn that nothing changed, so why were they acting as if they argued with each other? The atmosphere was tense, the air was soaked with unresolved questions. Sirius was staring at Remus so much, that he felt the pressure of putting on a mask of indifference. Something was alarmingly wrong, and Sirius tried to solve the problem by observing Remus, but not knowing the issue, Remus didn't know how to act. 

The best solution for now, was to turn his back to his friend and go wash the dishes. The running water filled the silence. Sirius stood up and approached Remus to help him, but Remus raised his hand to stop him. Sirius leaned against the countertop.  

"About your parents…" Sirius started, when Remus finished doing the dishes and turned to Sirius. 

Was that it? His parents told a lot of embarrassing things about Remus the day earlier, so maybe Sirius was wondering about Hope's words? Was that the reason he watched Remus so intensely? There is some misunderstanding that should be cleared up. Or rather an understanding, that shouldn't be reached in the first place. 

"About yesterday's chat with my parents…" Remus cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for my mom. She got over excited with her son getting married and stuff."

Sirius tensed. Remus felt self-conscious once more. "Oh, certainly. I wouldn't think your mother was right. She must have really shipped us, to see things in her son that were never there. It appears it's not true that Hope can see everything, right?"

Sirius turned to Remus with a smile. Remus was a little flabbergasted, so it wasn't utterly his fault for not answering. He suddenly felt the big lump in throat, and not being able to answer, Remus only opened, and closed his mouth. 

Sirius was observing him, like he did since his escape to the bathroom this morning. Extreme attention focused solely on Remus. 

"Remus…?" Sirius asked quietly. Remus ran his hand through hair to give himself a moment, but felt the hotness on his cheeks. 

He coughed. "Yeah, sure," Remus managed to say, supposably with face all red, and a hint of distress on it. 

The intense gaze of Sirius' didn't stop Remus to look at him back, with a little bashful stance. Sirius searched for something. He was still searching. 

And maybe it was the whole mood that was gradually tensing from the morning. Maybe the atmosphere of the upcoming vow. Possibly the years of falling for each other. The reason why it was this moment, would never be obvious, nor certain. What was undeniable, though, was the movement of Sirius, who took a short step closer to Remus, put his hand on the back of Remus' neck, and pulled down Remus' head, so their lips could meet. So they could test the waters. This one act, enabled something new between them, or maybe unsealed what was already old, and only getting older, but fresher every time their eyes met. It surely gave possibilities. 

Slow motion of Sirius' lips ended too quickly, Remus couldn't really react. Sirius made him too affected, too dazed with the emotions. When Sirius pulled away, the morning light surrounded him like a halo. He was no saint, but it was feelings that were sacred. The beautiful eyes made of simple grey, the curve of the lovely lips, the whole aesthetic of Sirius… It wasn't a description of his looks, it was a description of Remus' feelings for him. 

It was a short moment of intense eye contact and words that have never been spoken aloud. They let the eyes speak. Replaced the words with the authenticity of the way they looked at each other. The years of pinning, when it was all inside. The emotions, the vulnerability, the affection. They were simply stupid, weren't they?

Remus, though, didn't feel this way at the moment. He bent down to let his lips meet Sirius' ones, and it wasn't the gentle, uncertain kiss like earlier. It was the hunger, the desperation, the outburst of emotions that Remus, that they both, hid inside themselves, and finally let them outside. It wasn't only primal, but the ferocity of the years of concealed feelings made it look this way. It was a torture every time their lips were away, and soon, it wasn't only lips. With loud, discontinuous breaths, their hands started to wander, their clothes found their ways to the ground. The smell of his shampoo was the only sense that kept Remus in contact with the world, because all he could hear, taste, feel and see was Sirius. The colour of his skin, the little birthmarks on Sirius' arms and chest. The sound of his hitched breath. The feeling of his scarred body under his fingertips. Sirius ruled over Remus' senses, over his world at this point, over himself. Remus didn't want it to end. He wanted to be under this involuntary control forever. It made him blank and desperate at the same time. 

How did Remus manage to wait all this time, when all he could think about was to eat Sirius whole?

"Fuck," Sirius breathed out, and whimpered. Remus took his mouth off Sirius' chest to look at him. Sirius' eyes were half-shut, mouth opened, and he peered at Remus, looking only half-aware of the surroundings. 

"Should I… stop?" Remus whispered, since he didn't have the courage to speak louder. 

"No, fuck, no," Sirius raised his hand to tangle his fingers with Remus' hair. "Don't ever stop, please."

So Remus didn't. The pants were down not too long after, the same with the underwear. The smell of Remus' shampoo stopped to be the only one in the room. Their knotted limbs were moving, their breaths were synchronised in a rapture, frantic manner. Their eyes were sometimes closed, every so often wide-opened and curious, but all the time they were intense and frenzied, and full of emotions. There was harmony in their chaotic movements, and what's most important, the feelings never stopped flowing, even after the ecstasy and satisfaction. It was not only primal, it was years of love. The tied eyes, tied bodies, tied emotions. Tied existences, in every touch, every smile, every breath they took. 

It wasn't about tying the knots. It was about tying the formal part of their lives, because how else could they show others, their souls were tied a long time ago? Is there a night sky, where there are stars without the moon? Is there a world where Sirius is without Remus? Where Remus is without Sirius? They never had a choice, they were supposed to be with each other, but there was no regret about the matter, nonetheless.

"I love you," Sirius breathed out, the tears coming out his eyes, after his emotions' peak, were the sign of the overwhelming happiness and relief that matched the movement of his mouth. Remus could only make a sound, he couldn't even name. Only after their breaths slowed down, when their bodies were pressed against each other, when they embraced each other like never before, Remus could feel the tightness of his heart, the joy.

"I love you so much," he said, his mind circling around Sirius, and his own feelings. Only then understanding what happened. Only after the outburst of emotions was reduced to a constant clench in his stomach. "Fuck, I love you so much."

The quiet laugh of Sirius', vibrated through his body. 

"You do?"

"I do."

They squeezed each other even harder. 

Maybe something did change. 

***

The biggest problem about the timing, is that it's never right. Or maybe it is right, but people don't really give it a lot of thoughts, and believe some things will eventually happen, but not at the moment. 

Remus and Sirius, somehow, haven't thought that Lily and Marlene were to come and take care of their boys. 

"Boys!" Marlene's voice resounded through the small flat. "We're here to make sure you won't be late!" 

They were just finishing dressing up, and after a few quick glances at each other, they hurried to their girls. Marlene didn't even say hello, before only nodding to Remus, and grabbing Sirius to pull him to the sitting room. 

Remus watched it amused, but at the same time anxious. He didn't even have time to talk with Sirius. Only a few hushed questions like are you alright or words suggesting they should probably get dressed up and take a shower. It left him uneasy, He peeked at Lily to find her already looking at him. 

She raised an eyebrow. 

"You have something to tell me?" 

"Depends on your questions," Remus answered, trying to keep a calm face. 

"This won't do," she said, and did the same thing Marlene did to Sirius, but pulled him to the bathroom. She left the room for a few moments, and came back with a chair that she placed in front of the mirror, then as if Remus was the doll, Lily made him sit on it, and stood behind him. 

"Are you content now?" 

"No, now speak," Lily spoke the words Remus expected. 

"Shouldn't we, like, hurry?" he sighed and turned around to look at his friend directly instead of watching her in the mirror. "I believe I should take a shower, before you start to do a thing with my hair or whatever."

"I'm not doing anything with your hair right now, we have time."

"Then why talk here?"

"So you can see your face in the mirror when you try to lie about your feelings."

Silence filled up the room. The heavy quietness, that was putting a pause in a conversation, that was supposed to give time to gather the courage, but instead made people even more reluctant. 

"I had sex with Sirius," Remus bluntly told the truth, and explained the situation. 

Lily's face changed from unbothered to shocked, and then to contemplative. 

"I guess it's not a good time to ask if it's the first time?" she asked, and Remus glared at her through the mirror. "Well, I guessed correctly. Isn't that great, though? Was it good?"

Remus not only felt, but also saw how his face changed colour into red. "It was," he grumbled, and was thankful Lily wasn't the type of person to ask someone to repeat, just to embarrass them. She rather observed Remus carefully and sighed deeply. 

"You're not sure," noticed Lily, not being any more direct. Did she have to, though? It was always the same for Remus. What he was afraid of the most, was the feeling of being vulnerable. Of not being certain. Of taking the risks. What was Lily asking? Is he sure of his own feelings? Is he unsure of Sirius' feelings? Remus caught her eyes in the mirror. It was a view so familiar to him, that this itself made him come clear. 

"I love Sirius," he said simply. "And I know you suggested he might fancy me, too. But it's really complicated. I feel confused, because there's no way we would take the actions we took today, if the affection was non-existent, but what if…"

"There is no what if," she stopped him, seemingly irritated. "You know what your problem is Remus?"

"Go ahead, cuss me out."

"It's that you try to look at other people's perspectives without looking at your own. Do you think your love is complicated? Do you think you would tell someone you love him during sex, even if you didn't feel it?"

"Not everyone is like me."

"Sure, and you know what's the difference between you and Sirius? It's that he tells what he feels, so if he felt secure enough to tell you he loves you, he said it, without wondering about it too much."

"So you're saying he never felt secure enough to tell me this earlier?"

"Well, look at you. You look at him like some lovesick teenager, since you are like 14 years old? So he didn't really see any changes in you. So that means he doesn't remember you any different. And that means, he thinks it's normal how you look at him, or how you act toward him. He didn't believe you might be in love with him. And we all know you. You're thinking too much. If he said he loves you, and you wouldn't reciprocate, you would think of it too much. He knows you too, you know. He felt safe, of course, but he didn't feel like he met the occasion."

"Well, he acted the same way all our lives, either, so how could I know he might fan-" Remus stopped. The thought occurred to him and, through the mirror, he exchanged gazes with Lily, who was starting to smile broadly before she burst out laughing. 

"Yeah, I suppose he was in love with you since you were teenagers, too."

"Lily," Remus whined. "I don't know what to think." Lily started to massage his shoulders. 

"It's not that you don't know what to think, it's just that you're too scared to believe you can do whatever you're thinking about." 

Remus stared at his reflection in the mirror, feeling the words sink in. It floated in his mind and body, until Remus closed his eyes and focused on it. The encouragement was needed, but the concentration on it was required for the inspiration to actually help. Remus tried to find arguments for Lily's words. For him aspiring to lead a different life than he predicted. That was, until he felt hands circling around his collarbones and chest, and hair pressing against the side of his face. Remus opened his eyes immediately, to see Sirius hugging him from behind, with face hidden in the crook of his neck in their reflection. Remus felt, more than saw, Sirius taking a few deep breaths, the warm air against his skin. Then his friend got up, made a half-circle around Remus sitting on the chair, until he stood in front of him, covering the mirror with his body. Remus watched how Sirius leaned against the sink. He only subconsciously noticed that Lily was gone. 

"Remus, I…" Sirius started. "I've been talking with Marlene just now, and she knows you enough, I mean, I know you enough too. I actually know you far better than she would dream of, but we were talking, and she observed you're a type of person, who is now totally overthinking what we did today, and I should make it clear what I want from you, or no, I started it wrong. It's about what I feel for you, and I want to tell you the feelings were, I mean, are, real, and-" Sirius rambled, and though it sounded like a massive mishmash of arbitrary words, told in an inconsequential way, Remus felt the smile forming on his face. They were an odd set of two. When one was stressing out, the other was to calm the first one. It's like feeling calmer just from the need to calm the other part of the set. They matched. 

Remus reached out to take Sirius' hand in his own. He stopped talking and looked at Remus with a surprise. 

"You can keep talking, I just wanted to assure you, you don't have to be so nervous, whatever you have to say."

Sirius was staring at their linked fingers, then he raised his head to look at Remus. "I love you."

It was kind of a sudden, and powerful confession. A faithful one, with a plenteous trust. Making Remus' heart beat faster, his brain focusing more on his own feelings, on the burst of emotions. On them. Was he conscious or unconscious of his breath? Remus didn't know. 

"Sirius, I…"

"Wait," Sirius took a step toward Remus and crouched in front of him, placing their linked hands on Remus' knee. "I want you to be sure, that I regret nothing, and even if you're not sure what to feel now, what to feel about me, I still want you to know, everything that happened today was real, and my feelings are genuine, too. They didn't come from nowhere, it was about years of pining, you know?" Sirius smiled shyly. 

Continuous thump-thump sounded like a rain dropping during the rainy days. Loud, even though it was quiet, and making your attention come back to it, but not enough to stop you from your activity. So with a loud heartbeat, Remus cupped Sirius' cheek and leaned in, from his seat, to place a gentle kiss on Sirius' lips. It was soft, and caring, with the gentleness that could mean love only. After he drew his face away with a small curve of his own lips, he finally said what his heart needed him to bring out. 

"Sirius, I’ve been loving you since I was a teenager." Remus said the word teenager, like it was the most embarrassing term existing. That was a funny thing, about saying such important phrases, that they were memorable and influential even if forgotten. There are things you don't forget, though. You can forget about every moment of your life, but you won't forget significant people, these memories included. You can forget every fanfic you've read in your life, but you won't forget that wolfstar existed. You might forget happiness, sadness, guilt and pleasure that you felt some years, months, days, moments ago, but you won't forget they took place in your body. And if you forget, the body remembers.

Remus knew the feeling. Maybe he would forget the lovely eyes, lovely words, lovely moments of the two of them, but he won't ever forget that he felt the love for this man before him, and that he felt loved, too. He knew the feeling, because he wanted to record it in his mind, and never forget. Never forget Sirius from this moment. Never forget himself. 

"And Sirius," Remus swallowed. Tried to gulp down the heaviness of his upcoming words. It was happening too fast, but was it really? Wasn't it almost a lifetime of being in love and wanting the love to last eternally? Wasn't it looking at a beauty in the form of a human with black hair, and a bright soul? Wasn't it waiting for the possibility? There was never something like the right time, there was only a time, when you took courage to say what you want, or not. And Remus didn't want to excuse himself with the bad timing, when he could just say the words and see what happens. "It only depends on you, and if you still want to get a divorce later, because it's too much, or too fast, we can… But I would love to make us final, and spend the rest of my life with you."

"I-," Sirius laughed unbelievingly. "I do, of course I do want it, too." And then Sirius placed his head on Remus' legs, hiding his face with nose between the thighs. "I bloody love you so much," the muffled voice came out. Remus started to stroke his hair, filled with amazement and uncontrolled joy. 

"I do, too," Remus said, making Sirius laugh and raising his head. 

"Great to know you love yourself," he grinned. 

"You're silly," Remus responded, with hand still in Sirius' hair. Remus leaned in once more, to peck him on the nose. 

"Do we need to go? I could stay like this all day."

"We can stay lazy together all day tomorrow," Remus assured and it made him realise the meaning of his own words. It was true. They could stay like this tomorrow, and the day after, and the month after, a year, and if possible, a lifetime after, too. 

***

There were no fireworks. There were a lot of smiles, a lot of stress, and an awful lot of meaningful glances. And the world didn't stop for Remus, when Sirius stood up in front of him. Remus was distinctly aware that they were surrounded by a group of their friends and Remus' parents, no one else, but it still was someone that observed them. He was conscious of them. He was conscious of himself. He was surely conscious of Sirius. Remus regretted believing in stories of the weddings that made the whole world disappear, because it wasn't true for someone overly conscious of himself. Probably even for someone self-confident. Imagine standing alone with the love of your life, exchanging rings, and making it all impactful and important, while you're observed. Remus was simply stressed out. And though it was true, that he felt his affection for Sirius with all his body, and he couldn't stop staring at his best friend, his lover, who looked exceedingly striking, he… Remus still was aware of his surroundings. His world was focused mostly on one person, but it still was broad, and full of feelings, not only attraction. It was natural to feel pressure on events that were supposed to change one's life, but he felt like it shouldn't be like this. 

"Don't stress out, Moony, look at me," Sirius said, and took Remus' hand in his. Remus realised he didn't really hear a word of what was going on, and looked up, just to see Sirius in his white attire, that perfectly fit his body. Or maybe everything fitted Sirius perfectly. It didn't matter, not really. Remus just needed something to focus on. So he gazed into Sirius' eyes, and tried to think of what colour would be good enough to describe them. Steel? Metal? Smoky?

Sirius smiled, and Remus glanced at his lips, then again locked their eyes. 

"I'm looking," Remus said and took a deep breath. "I'm looking." 

Indeed, he was looking. He was so focused on focusing, that he almost missed the moment for the vows. Remus tried not to feel embarrassed by it, and surprisingly, he did not feel any shame. Wasn't it his day? It still felt like a dream, like a change too substantial to call it a day of his life. He stood before the love of his life, and maybe there was a chance that it truly would last for lifetimes. Wasn't it interesting, though, that it was Remus, who was stressing out so much, not Sirius? It weirdly fitted the scenario. Too overly conscious Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black, who was too focused on easing Remus, to stress out himself. Wasn't it always like that? Sirius was self-centred in general, but when Remus continued to be anxious and nervous, Sirius without fail tried to divert Remus' attention from his worries. He acted like a true friend, and it would be hard to start something romantically without the base of friendship and attention. They had it all. And even more. They had so much more. 

Remus felt like his moods changed on a moment's whim. 

"Let's say the vows," the officiant announced. 

Remus, who was looking at Sirius all the time, didn't miss the way, he smiled affectionately at him. That genuine, sweet, soft and a little shy smile, which reminded Remus of a puppy, who looked at his owner. He thought he must seem like a pup, too, with the warm feeling spraying inside of his body. Sirius was to say his vows first, so Remus waited, and while he was doing so, Sirius took both his hands in his own. After that, he stared at their linked hands, while Remus was gazing at him, wondering how this could be real, not fake. How a person could feel so much affection, connection, joy and desire. The need to embrace someone, to keep them in your arms, to miss them and keep looking at them. How could a person find so much beauty in another? Remus understood why people call their lovers their other half. The feeling of love was so deep, that these feelings resonated within the core of one's being. They somehow were parts of each other. It wasn't temporary. Even if everything would end, the parts that were so close to the heart, won't ever waver. You could hate the person you loved, but the hatred is the sign that there are parts of another person inside of you, that are a constant. Remus was full of Sirius, the excitement, the annoyance, the right-doing and wrong-doing. He suddenly felt it was how it was supposed to be. And making eye contact with Sirius, who just looked up, made him unexpectedly calmer, more assured. Remus probably won't be able to believe that his friend wanted him the same way he wanted him, not at first surely. But it didn't change the fact that there was love between them. In Remus. In Sirius. Remus left parts of him inside Sirius, and the affection was real. The upcoming future was what made Remus realise he shouldn't worry so much. It was Sirius, and Remus loved him, and it was their moment. 

"I," Sirius was smiling while saying the words. "Sirius-" the hoarseness in his throat made him cough a little. He laughed quietly and a broad smile bloomed on his face and in the eyes that were locked with Remus' ones. "I, Sirius Black, solemnly swear, to support, honour, and cherish you, Remus Lupin, and will take care of you, so you will not fall out of the way of mischief until the day we die. I will appreciate you, like I've done all the years we knew each other, and will give you a kiss after you start condemning yourself,' Sirius said, and Remus was certain that wasn't the original vow. "Well, I will kiss you on other occasions, too," he added as if an afterthought. Remus heard their friends laughing, though some of the laughs sounded a bit teary, probably Lily's one. He also felt his smile cracking out, to watch the moment. Well, there was his will to make this vow traditional. Or maybe that never was the case. 

Remus felt Sirius putting a ring on his finger, more than he saw it. He always found it adorable to see people exchanging rings, but it was only at this point that he understood the tears, the importance of the matter. It felt like a seal. Like the declared sentences were just sealed into this one ring, and wearing it would remind of the promised love, promised future, promised presence. That until you had the ring on your finger, you believed in your partner's words. To say Remus was dazed would be too little. He felt like there were no words he could form. He could only see the small, but overjoyed smile on Sirius' face. 

"I," he had to start. Sirius looked up and the eye-contact was so intense, that it took Remus a few moments to speak again. "I, Remus Lupin," he smiled, "solemnly swear, I won't go down the wrong path by being convinced of my partner's supposedly right reason." The audience laughed. "I will try not to fall into the path of mischief…"

"But you have to stay a Marauder, Moony!" James shouted. Regulus nudged him, but Marlene and Dorcas burst out laughing. 

"…too much," Remus finished his sentence, "but still support, cherish, honour you, Sirius Black, soon to be Lupin, and will take care of you." The sound of him clearing the throat seemed to bounce off the walls in the silent space. "I will love you, like I've done all the years we knew each other, and will give you a kiss after you need it, and on other occasions, too." 

"I'll always need it," Sirius joked. He seemed joyful, hopeful, a bit bashful, too. Remus wanted to smile, but only then noticed that there was a smile on his face all this time. He chuckled then, and put a ring on Sirius' finger. The promise, the vow. The seal. 

"By the power vested in me," said the officiant, "I now pronounce you partners for life. You may seal your vows with a kiss."

Sirius placed his hand on the back of Remus' neck, and didn't wait even a moment, but pulled him in, making their lips meet. It was a short kiss, but an intense one, and still delivered the message. They broke apart with fully bloomed smiles, a little bashful ones, full of hesitancy, but still not without love and hope. Remus put his forehead on Sirius' one. The clappings and cheers surrounded them like music. 

"Ladies and gentlemen," the officiant spoke once again. "It is my great pleasure to present to you, for the first time, Mr and Mr Lupin."

You could think the cheers of so few people wouldn't be able to drown out your thoughts, but you haven't heard the combination of Marlene's and James' voices, or Lily, when she finally managed to bring her friends together the way she wanted to. 

"I can't believe I wasn't the one who asked for your hand," Remus felt Sirius' breath, when he spoke. 

Remus laughed. 

"I can't believe it was Lily who asked you for your hand for me."

The party went well (maybe a little too well) with Sirius telling everyone he is now a Lupin, for too many times. With Remus blushing every time he did so, and feeling like a teenager, once more. With Lily plotting with Hope and Lyall. With Regulus watching his older brother and feeling at ease, but teasing him nonetheless. With Marlene joining the teasing, too. With Mary admiring it was Lily who made it possible. With Dorcas, who started to wander if maybe she wanted it, too.

And of course with James. With James, who didn't notice any changes in Remus and Sirius. Who didn't notice the fake was made real and thought the boys were still pretending. James knew them the best, and that was his ruin. Seeing and being aware of his friends so deep in love with each other, made him not realise that they, too, were now aware of it. It didn't really make a difference, since for him, they were acting the same, because the love was there the whole time.  

It's a misery, really, since he wished for them to be together almost as long as he knew them, and he was the last person to know they actually got to the point of their lives to tell each other they love each other in every way possible.

So the legend is told that someday James will realise the truth and will squeal with excitement.  

Until then, he will probably be snickered at, tragically, by his own love, too.