Chapter 24
On Sunday morning, Remus awoke to find Sirius still asleep beside him. They had gone to bed separately - Remus had tucked Sirius in between clean sheets in the bedroom, and transfigured the sofa into a cosy cot for himself - but, not two hours later he’d been woken by the sounds of Sirius' nightmare and gone through to check on him.
‘Hey,’ he'd whispered, ‘Sirius, wake up.’
He had reached a tentative hand to shake him and Sirius' eyes had flown open in panic the second he had made contact, grabbing Remus’ hand and wrenching it free.
‘Shh, it's ok, you were just having a nightmare. You're here, you're at the flat, with me.’
Sirius’ touch had turned soft then and as he looked around the room, remembering, he'd wound his fingers between Remus'.
‘Stay,’ he'd whispered back, ‘stay and help me remember I'm here.’
Sirius had never been one to sleep soundly. Far too many things to have bad dreams about before he'd been to Azkaban, let alone now, but as Remus watched him he was struck with how much younger he looked in sleep, without his brow permanently furrowed, without a look of fear or suspicion in his grey eyes. He wondered how much of the boy that he'd loved was still in there.
Sirius rolled over and woke with a start, eyes darting around, lost, before coming to rest on Remus.
‘Hi Moony,’ he said.
‘Hey,’ Remus smiled at him. ‘Tea? We've still got a little bit of Hogwarts milk left.’
Sirius nodded at him and he slid out of bed, into his slippers and wandered into the kitchen. He made two cups of tea, one in a dark blue mug with a golden moon and stars on it and carried them back through to find Sirius on the sofa, which was a sofa again.
‘Um, I used your wand,’ he said, ‘sorry I should've asked. It was just there and I kind of wanted to know if I could make it work.’
‘We’ll go down to Diagon Alley and get you a new one.’ Remus said, handing him a mug. ‘‘We can do something to make you less recognisable. You're going to need a wand during the week when I'm not here. I don't think you'll survive as a Muggle.’
There was a tap at the window and they looked up to see an owl, holding a newspaper in its claws. Remus got up and collected it, paying the owl and returning to the sofa. He looked nervously at Sirius, whose eyes were fixed on the folded paper.
‘Ready?’ Remus asked.
‘Not really,’ said Sirius ‘but go ahead, let's see what those vultures have printed about me this time.’
Remus unrolled the paper.
SIRIUS BLACK INNOCENT?
Ten months after his escape from Azkaban, during which he managed to evade capture by both wizarding and Muggle authorities, Sirius Black has been released on bail as a result of new evidence that suggests his innocence.
Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic made a statement via press release yesterday evening: ‘It has become apparent that Mr Black did not, in fact, commit the crimes he has spent twelve years in prison for. During the months since his escape, he has worked to secure the evidence needed to prove his innocence, and has been able to bring essential new information to my attention. As a result, he is currently out on bail pending further investigation and trial, during which acquittal is expected. The Ministry feels great regret about this injustice and we are working to swiftly set the records straight.
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, whose school saw two apparent break ins by Black this year said, ‘We have now been presented with irrefutable evidence of Mr Black's innocence. He is no murderer and his wrongful imprisonment is a travesty. I would like to publicly apologise for the evidence I gave twelve years ago which I was not aware was false, and ask that the general public respect Mr Black’s privacy at this time.
While neither spokesman was forthcoming about what this new evidence is, sources at The Ministry have speculated that Peter Pettigrew, supposedly murdered by Black during the killing spree that put him in prison, has been found alive and is now in Ministry custody.
Updates on the case will be reported as the situation develops.
‘Well,’ said Remus with a sigh, ‘vague as usual - The Prophet’s speciality. Possibly good for us though in this case?’
Sirius was staring down at the thumbnail sized school photo of Peter they'd dug up from the archives.
‘Why do you think he did it?’ he said.
Remus hesitated. ‘I don't think I know anymore than I knew when it was supposed to have been you. I guess he was scared.’
‘He’s a coward.’
‘Perhaps, yes. Perhaps he was the only one of us with something to live for aside from each other and he decided he couldn't risk that - you know his mother is still alive.’
‘Mmm’ said Sirius darkly.
‘Maybe we’ll find out at the trial.’
‘Maybe.’
*
They apparated to Diagon Alley mid-morning, Sirius with a light glamour on his face, but as Remus had pointed out, he looked so different from the photographs that had been plastered across papers it seemed unlikely he'd be recognised. They ducked quietly through the Leaky Cauldron and emerged into the hidden street which was bustling with shoppers. Sirius recoiled slightly at the busyness. Remus instinctively held out a hand and was surprised to find it was accepted.
The bell jangled as they pushed open the door to Ollivander’s.
‘Good morning gentlemen,’ called a voice from the depths of the narrow shop. ‘What can I help you with today?’
‘A wand,’ said Remus, when Sirius did not answer. ‘My friend is in need of a new wand.’
‘Say no more,’ said a wizened man, appearing from the gloom, ‘if you need a wand then this is the place to be.’ He looked Sirius up and down briefly. ‘You’ll have to take that mask off though, the wands won't like it.’
Sirius looked up at Remus and nodded, and with a brief wave of his wand, Remus removed the glamour. Ollivander looked up at him, a flicker of recognition on his face.
‘Ah, Mr Black. I was wondering when I might be seeing you. What was it last time? 11 inches, ash, dragon heartstring? Yes… stubborn and courageous but not completely overconfident… a shame, it was a great wand, but now… hmm… I suspect things may be a little different.’
He plucked a box from the shelf and removed a wand. ‘Try this: cedar for strength of character, unicorn tail hair for good intentions. This one's nice and sturdy.’
Sirius took the wand very carefully in his hand.
‘Try something simple,’ said Ollivander, encouragingly. ‘Levitate that book over there perhaps.’
Sirius pointed the wand. The book rose and hovered but returned to the table clumsily, with a thunk.
‘Hmmm, not to worry, not to worry,’ said Ollivander, in response to the concern on Sirius’ face, plucking the wand from his fingers.
‘This one perhaps: chestnut and unicorn hair - good for those with a strong sense of justice. Give it a wave.’
This time the book rose more gracefully. Sirius looked relieved.
‘How did it feel?’ asked Ollivander, his eyes peering at Sirius closely through owl-like glasses.
‘Not quite right.’ said Sirius. ‘A bit… sticky.’
‘Hmmm,’ Ollivander mused. He turned back to the shelves, hand trailing over boxes until - ‘Yes.’ he said, ‘I think this will be it.’ He handed Sirius another wand, this one ending in a squarish handle. It looked elegant, but not delicate, Remus thought.
‘English Oak,’ said Ollivander. ‘Loyal in the good times and the bad.’ He looked at Remus as he said, ‘And dragon heartstring, because not everything has changed.’
Sirius took the wand, and closed his eyes. The book on the counter became a little yellow bird, which flew to the top of the wand shelves and began to sing.
‘This is the one.’ Sirius said.
*
Remus had paid the seven galleons for the wand, which once acquired meant that Sirius was able to access his vault at Gringotts. They made a stop there, taking out a healthy supply of Wizarding and Muggle currency and then made their way back into Muggle London.
‘What do you feel like doing?’ Remus asked as they stepped back out onto Charing Cross Road. ‘Want some lunch? Or some new clothes or something?’
‘I think I'd rather just get back,’ said Sirius, and Remus noticed how tired he looked.
‘Ok,’ Remus replied, ‘sounds great.’
They stopped at the Tesco Metro in Covent Garden and Remus filled a basket with food: cereal and milk, biscuits and cheese, apples, eggs and bacon, a loaf of soft white bread. Sirius watched him, following wordlessly as he pulled things off the shelves, queued at the till and left the shop. They ducked into an alleyway, Sirius grasping Remus' arm as they disappeared with a soft crack.
Back at the flat, they made bacon sandwiches and more cups of tea, and settled on the sofa where Remus watched as Sirius tested his new wand, sending things zooming across the room, and transfiguring pieces of furniture into wholly less useful objects.
‘The place needs a refresh,’ Sirius said, with a smile, when Remus suggested a footstool with human feet was less than ideal.
While Sirius entertained himself, Remus heaved Buckbeak's appeal document onto the coffee table, and began separating it into sections. After a while, Sirius came to join him, reading carefully through each page.
‘So, let me get this straight,’ he said after several minutes of concentrated silence, ‘Lucius Malfoy’s kid wound up a hippogriff in a lesson in front of a class full of witnesses that reported he had been adequately warned, and now it's due to be executed because it scratched him?’
‘That seems to be the long and short of it,’ said Remus, ‘obviously there is politics at play here - Lucius has decided it's what he wants and has arranged it all in his favour.’
‘Who is on this Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures?’ Sirius muttered, mostly to himself as he shuffled back through the sheets of parchment, looking at the signatures. ‘Macnair,’ he said, ‘he was a Death Eater… there's a Selwyn on this list too, and a Wilkes. Do you remember him? He died in the war but he had a brother in Reg’s year…’ Sirius tailed off slightly, but recovered his point, ‘this is how Malfoy has swung it.’
‘Mmm,’ Remus said, staring down at the list. ‘Is there much we can do about that?’
‘Leave it here, with me,’ said Sirius, ‘it's not like I've got much else to do, is there?’
For dinner, they made spaghetti Bolognese, Remus chopping onions and tomatoes by hand and Sirius stirring the sauce from a distance with his wand. They ate in front of the fire, sitting in their matching socks and jumpers.
‘You could look out some of your old things,’ said Remus, ‘most of them are still here - I didn't - I couldn't really - get rid of anything, and everything was so mixed together anyway… but there are some boxes of t-shirts somewhere, and trousers that didn't fit me. Under the bed I think.’
‘I’ll have a look,’ said Sirius, looking at him with glassy eyes. ‘Thanks.’
They continued to eat for a few moments in silence.
‘Why didn't you get rid of anything?’ Sirius said, suddenly. Remus looked up at him, but he was staring fixedly at his plate. ‘It’s been twelve years Moony, twelve. Why are my t-shirts still under your bed? Why are my mugs still in your cupboard?’
He looked up then, his fiery gaze meeting Remus’, he seemed to be holding his breath.
‘Why do you think?’ Remus thought. He glanced up at the ceiling briefly but met Sirius' eyes again.
‘It's complicated,’ said Remus, ‘and it's also quite simple I suppose. When you left, when everyone… died - I sort of - I couldn't get any work, the moons were - bad. I didn't have any money or anywhere else to go, so I stayed here.’ He paused and moved his plate from his lap to the coffee table, turning to face Sirius. ‘It took me a long time to get halfway back on my feet and then after that, this stuff was just-’ he waved a hand vaguely at the room ‘- I did put the clothes in a box,’ he finished lamely.
‘I feel like -’ Sirius began, ‘I feel like if you’ve been stuck - it means that when I made that mistake that got James killed, and ruined my life, that I ruined yours too.’ He said it quickly, as if he needed the words out of his brain.
‘That’s not - no.’ Remus lifted Sirius' plate from him and stacked it on top of his own. ‘No, that's not what I meant at all. I was stuck for a bit, but it’s been - I managed -’
‘I'm Just so sorry.’ Sirius said, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. He tried to blink them away and one escaped, rolling slowly down his cheek. ‘I’m so sorry for everything and I don’t know what I can do to fix it.’
‘Sirius,’ Remus said, taking both his hands in his own. ‘There is nothing to be done about it now, nothing. All we can do is try to keep on living. Our lives are not ruined - they’re not over yet, are they?’
Sirius shook his head.
‘And now this is where we are, and there is Harry to think of, so we must try.’
‘I asked Dumbledore about him,’ Sirius said, ‘that's why I stayed behind yesterday morning. I wanted to know what was being done with where he’s been living. Obviously not for now - obviously, but if I - when I’m sorted - James always said that if anything happened to them that it was down to me to look after him.’
‘What did Albus say?’
‘He said he must remain with Lily’s family until he is seventeen,’ said Sirius slowly, ‘but that maybe - maybe there could be visits.’
‘Visits.’ Remus repeated.
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, there you are. That is something worth fighting for.’
‘It’s not the only thing I need,’ said Sirius, his voice so quiet Remus wasn’t sure if he had heard him correctly. ‘I don't want you to go back,’ he continued, more audibly.
‘I know,’ Remus said softly, squeezing his hand. ‘I don’t want to leave you. I’ve got to do this though I think, I’ve got to see out the year. This teaching thing - it has actually been going well and I need to prove to Dumbledore he was right to take a chance on me.’
‘Of course it is going well. You were always so good at school stuff,’ Sirius tried to smile at him.
‘I’ll come back. I promise.’