Rats
‘How am I supposed to help when you won't talk to me?’ Remus said, hating the moan in his own voice as he followed Sirius into their room.
‘Why do you always feel like you need to help? I'm fine. It's none of your business.’
‘But you just said -’
‘Oh not this again,’ said Peter, rolling his eyes and flopping back onto the bed.
‘Shut up Pete!’ Remus muttered.
‘Just go away!’ Sirius shouted.
‘Sirius - ’
‘Remus,’ James said in a low voice. Remus turned to look at him, he'd barely noticed he was there. ‘You know when it gets like this it is better to just let him be. I think just leave it for now.’
Remus huffed. He did not want to leave it, he wanted to have it out, get it over with, make up, but when he turned back, the curtains around Sirius’ bed were closed.
The arrival of the full moon at the end of April seemed to have intensified the dreams, and they weren't good ones anymore. Remus had tossed and turned all night, but this one was the one that finally made him give up on sleep. He couldn't completely remember what the fight had been about. Regulus, he thought, had said something maybe. Possibly he'd never completely found out. Sirius had been like that. End of the world one minute, sweeping you away with smiles the next. It was confusing. It was difficult to keep up. Nothing had changed, apparently.
He'd fallen asleep studying the map and he carefully folded it up as he got out of bed, carrying it over to his desk where he spread it out again. It was early, and most of the little names were stationary in dormitories. Filch was up, as usual, wandering the third floor, and Remus noticed Hagrid, pacing the castle grounds, his huge strides making him seem to cross the map at speed. He was coming out of the forest, moving back towards his cabin. Remus watched him vaguely, tracking his route, and then his heart stopped.
There, in Hagrid’s hut, moving just to and fro was the very last name Remus had expected to find on the map. A name he hadn't seen written down for almost twelve years. There, in Hagrid’s kitchen, hovered a label bearing the name: Peter Pettigrew.
It was malfunctioning surely? Remus peered at the map more closely. Or, he was seeing things. Entirely possible, he thought. He stood up and walked to the window, then turned back and sat down again. The name was still there.
‘Mischief managed’, he said, tapping the map blank, before activating it once more. This time he watched as the lines spread from his wand tip, the walls, the grounds, the forest, the cabin. Peter was still there.
Was he going crazy? Was he still dreaming? He rubbed his eyes hard and shook his head. Still there. But Peter was dead. He was dead. Sirius had killed him.
Remus stood up again, suddenly. What could he do? He looked at the clock. It was 5:30. Too early for a cup of tea with Hagrid? He dressed as quickly as he could, trousers, shirt, shoes, cloak. Nose to the map, he left the room, down the stairs, out of the back door as he had done last time the map had sent him on an early morning goose-chase. He crossed the lawns, jogging slightly now, down the stony path that led to the Gamekeeper's cabin.
Just as he reached the door, Hagrid appeared round the side of the hut, a huge marrow in his hand. Remus, who had been so focused on just the name on the map, had not thought as far as actually getting inside and stepped back in surprise.
‘Mornin’ Professor.’ Hagrid said gruffly. ‘You’re out and about early.’
‘Uh,’ Remus said, looking around him. He was half surprised to find himself here, half wondering if Peter might just pop round the corner too and wish him good morning.
‘You lookin’ for me?’ Hagrid was looking at him with concern. ‘You al’righ?’
‘Erm, yes, yes just having a walk.’ said Remus, lamely gesturing at the lawns above them.
‘Right,’ said Hagrid, sceptically. ‘Cuppa tea then?’
‘Yes!’ said Remus, wincing at how enthusiastic he sounded.
Hagrid looked at him strangely again and pushed open the cabin door. ‘After you.’
Remus didn't know what he'd been expecting. Peter, sat at the table perhaps? Cup of coffee and game of chess on the go? But what he certainly had not predicted was that he'd be met by a big black dog. It only took him a fraction of a second to realise this was another dog - much too big, and a boarhound, but the fright made him clutch the map to his chest.
‘Take a seat, don't mind Fang. He looks scary but he's a big old softie really - wow, he's certainly taken to you quickly,’ said Hagrid. As soon as he'd sat down, Fang had rested his head on Remus’ lap, huge brown puppy eyes staring up at him.
‘Huh, yeah,’ said Remus, ‘dogs do tend to like me.’
As Hagrid bustled about in the kitchen making cups of tea, Remus surreptitiously looked down at the map that he'd folded with Hagrid's hut facing out. There were now three names hovering in the space - if this was correct, then they were right on top of Peter. In spite of himself, Remus bent down to look under the bench he was sitting on, and then immediately straightened up feeling foolish. What are you doing? He asked himself. The hut was open plan - one room really, and a little cloakroom off to the side, but the door to that stood ajar, shower curtain pulled back. Unless Peter was standing on the toilet seat, there was nowhere big enough for a man to hide.
Suddenly it hit him. There was nowhere big enough for a man to hide. He made to stand up, just as Hagrid turned and carried two large mugs of tea over to the table and lifted an enormous cake tin off the counter.
‘Here we go,’ said Hagrid cheerfully, pulling the lid off the tin. ‘Help yerself to a rock cake, they’re pretty fresh.. Made ‘em Saturday I think. Now, what brings you out this way so early?’
Remus stared at him for a moment, at a loss. ‘I saw the name of my long-dead friend on an enchanted map I made as a student and ran down here to find him’ did not seem like a reasonable thing to say.
‘I couldn't sleep,’ he said, eventually. ‘Thought some fresh air might help.’
‘Ah, yeah I know what yer mean,’ Hagrid said, ‘I haven't slept a wink since Buckbeak’s sentence came through. I just don't know what to do with myself some nights. That's what I was doing just now, fetching him some worms. He loves worms for breakfast.’
Remus nodded, hugely distracted by his recent revelation,not at all interested in worms.
‘They've set a date now,’ Hagrid continued, ‘He’s only got about a month left.’ Suddenly he let out a huge sob and Remus looked up, alarmed. He was utterly unprepared for this.
‘I’m so sorry, Hagrid. That's awful.’ he managed. ‘Is there really nothing more to be done?’
‘Just the appeal, but it’s not lookin’ good,’ Hagrid sniffed, reaching into his pocket for a handkerchief Remus could've worn as a dress. ‘Lucius Malfoy’s got them all under ‘is thumb up at the Ministry. Even when Dumbledore went up there for me, tried to reason with them, no luck. I appreciate the effort though of course, great man, Dumbledore.’
‘Yeah,’ said Remus, coughing slightly on the mouthful of tea he had taken.
‘If yer not keen on rock cakes, I’ve got some biscuits?’ said Hagrid, getting up and opening a cupboard. ‘Oh blast!’ he said as he pulled the packet out and dropped it onto the table. ‘Bloody rats have been at ‘em.’
Remus stared down at the packet, one end of the box had been chewed through and crumbs spilled out of it. Rats.
*
Half an hour later, Remus and Hagrid walked back up to the castle for breakfast. Remus had tried and failed to get away earlier, but without any clear idea of what he should do, had not been able to articulate an excuse to leave. His head was swimming. What should he do? What did it mean if Peter was alive? All it meant for certain was that Sirius hadn’t killed him, but what did that change? And why was he hiding as a rat in Hagrid’s hut?
‘Remus?’
Remus looked up at Hagrid, who had clearly just asked him something. He hadn’t heard it.
‘I’m so sorry Hagrid,’ he said, ‘I was thinking about something else, what did you say?’
‘I was sayin’ do you have any good ideas about getting rid of rats? These ones are mighty clever - seem to know exactly how to avoid the traps I have set. I even brought Buckbeak inside to see if he could sniff ‘em out but, I dunno, must’ve not smelt right or something.’
‘You know, Hagrid,’ Remus said, ‘I just have to go and look something up, but I might have an idea. Don’t do anything until I come back to you?’
‘Alrigh’ if you think you can solve it…’
‘I think I need to,’ said Remus, and he turned and hurried back to his room.