The real Regulus
Regulus – 08.13 PM
Jamie?
James – 08.13 PM
Excuse me???
Regulus – 08.13 PM
What?
Is there a problem?
James – 08.14 PM
No, no, no
Not at all!
I'm just
Well
Mildly confused to be honest
Regulus – 08.14 PM
About what?
James – 08.14 PM
Jamie
What’s that supposed to mean, love?
Regulus – 08.14 PM
What? Can’t I call you that?
James – 08.14 PM
You can me whatever you want honestly
Regulus – 08.14 PM
Including mine?
James – 08.15 PM
OKAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???
Regulus – 08.15 PM
What happened now?
James – 08.15 PM
WHAT HAPPENED NOW???
YEAH, I’D LIKE TO KNOW
Regulus – 08.15 PM
Can I not call you mine, Jamie boy?
James – 08.15 PM
OKAY, PUT THE PHONE DOWN, REG, PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN
Regulus – 08.15 PM
Why?
James – 08.15 PM
WHY???
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY
Regulus – 08.16 PM
I really don’t, though, why don’t you explain it to me? You're pretty good at stuff like that
James – 08.16 PM
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE ACTUAL REGULUS???
Regulus – 08.16 PM
Jesus Christ, James, you don’t have to freak out like that
James – 08.16 PM
HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
Regulus – 08.16 PM
No
James – 08.16 PM
YOU SURE???
Regulus – 08.16 PM
Pretty sure
James – 08.17 PM
THEN PLEASE DO EXPLAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AT ALL
Regulus – 08.17 PM
I don’t know what there is to explain, Jamie love
James – 08.17 PM
REALLY???
YOU DONT SEE IT?
DONT NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT???
HMM?
DONT NOTICE THAT YOU’RE BEING AWFULLY AND SCARILY NICE TO ME AND CALLING ME JAMIE???
Regulus – 08.17 PM
I though you told me calling you Jamie wasn’t a problem
James – 08.17 PM
TRUST ME, LOVE, IT ISNT, I JUST REALLY, REALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND
Regulus – 08.17 PM
Well, you could over, and I could maybe help you understand exactly what I meant
If you want to, of course
James – 08.18 PM
OKAY, THAT’S IT, I’M TEXTING YOU’RE BROTHER TO KNOW IF YOU’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS REAL
Regulus – 08.18 PM
It's a dream
Just like you
James – 08.18 PM
REGULUS, STOP PLEASE, YOU’RE SCARING ME
AND TURNING ME ON
THIS IS NOT FAIR
YOU NEED TO STOP
Regulus – 08.18 PM
Why don’t you make me???
Regulus – 08.19 PM
James?
Jamie?
Potter?
Love?
Darling?
James – 08.19 PM
Okay, spit it out, who is this?
Regulus – 08.19 PM
Uhm, who do you think it is???
James – 08.19 PM
Not Regulus
Regulus – 08.20 PM
Jamie love, did you check the contact's name???
James – 08.20 PM
You’re not Regulus, I just called Sirius and he told me the real Regulus is sitting in his room without his phone, so who is this?
Regulus – 08.20 PM
You really called my brother to check up on me?
James – 08.20 PM
Regulus’ brother*
Regulus – 08.20 PM
My brother*
James – 08.20 PM
See, that’s the thing, Regulus doesn’t write like that
Regulus – 08.21 PM
I do
James – 08.21 PM
No, he doesn’t
Regulus – 08.21 PM
Do
James – 08.21 PM
Doesn’t
Regulus – 08.21 PM
Do
James – 08.21 PM
The real Regulus would have stopped this and called me childish
Regulus – 08.21 PM
Grefjskdmf
James – 08.21 PM
What?
Regulus – 08.22 PM
Yft
Dyfchkgftkg
James – 08.22 PM
Is everything okay?
James – 08.23 PM
Regulus?
Regulus – 08.23 PM
Shit James, I'm so sorry. I'm having Barty over and a few minutes ago he excused himself to the bathroom and I must have not noticed, but he stole my phone before he left. I’m really fucking sorry. Did he say something?
Oh, he fucking did, I'm going to kill him
Regulus – 08.24 PM
James, are you there?
James – 08.24 PM
How do I know this still isn't Barty pretending to be you? Or someone else???
Regulus – 08.24 PM
What?
James – 08.24 PM
I mean, it’s just, this could still be someone else pretending to be you who just caught them
How do I know you’re the real Regulus?
Regulus – 08.24 PM
What the fuck, James
James – 08.24 PM
I’m just wondering, okay
Regulus – 08.25 PM
Do you want me to prove myself?
James – 08.25 PM
Yeah, that’d be really nice actually
Regulus – 08.25 PM
How?
James – 08.25 PM
I don’t know
Regulus – 08.25 PM
Then figure it out
James – 08.25 PM
Fine, send me a picture
Regulus – 08.25 PM
No
James – 08.25 PM
That is a very suspicious thing to say
Regulus – 08.26 PM
I look like shit right now; I'm not sending you a picture
James – 08.26 PM
Or maybe it’s because you aren't the real Regulus?
Regulus – 08.26 PM
I’ll prove it
Just another way
James – 08.26 PM
Fine, then tell me something only the real Regulus would know
Regulus – 08.26 PM
Like what?
James – 08.26 PM
That’s what you need to figure out, fake-Regulus
Regulus – 08.27 PM
I’m not a fake-Regulus
James – 08.27 PM
Prove it
Regulus – 08.27 PM
Fuck you
James – 08.27 PM
Doesn’t really prove much, everyone knows he would write something like that
Regulus – 08.27 PM
No, just fuck you, I'm not trying to prove my, just go fuck yourself, Potter, I don’t need to prove anything to you
James – 08.27 PM
No, I could just call your brother and make him check up on “you” again
Regulus – 08.28 PM
That was you?
James – 08.28 PM
I already told that
Regulus – 08.28 PM
If you told anyone, you told Barty
James – 08.28 PM
I'm looking at Sirius contact...
Regulus – 08.28 PM
Don’t bring him into this, James, there is really no need for that
James – 08.28 PM
Well, go ahead then, prove yourself
Regulus – 08.29 PM
A few weeks ago, you found me drunk in a bathroom and as you tried to get me out into your car, so you could drive me home, I vomited all over you and I've been pretending like I don’t remember ever since
James – 08.29 PM
Oh
Well, hi, Reg
Regulus – 08.29 PM
Don’t call me that
James – 08.30 PM
Oh, yeah, it’s definitely you
Regulus – 08.30 PM
Now, I'm sorry, I have to go, I have to kill Barty
James – 08.30 PM
Of course, love, text me the date of the funeral
Regulus – 08.30 PM
Of course, Jamie, see you
James – 08.30 PM
See you<3
James – 08.31 PM
WAIT UP
WAIT THE FUCK UP
JAMIE???
REGULUS COME BACK
DONT FUCKING LEAVE ME ON READ