Another Cheese Sandwich

While Remus had gotten the essentials- shampoo and underwear and a toothbrush with some sort of animated character on its handle, Harry still needed a lot of things.

So they went shopping.

Sirius loves to shop. Mostly because he is quite insistent that he spend his family’s entire fortune before he dies. There was a solid gold throne covered in dust in one of the rooms on the second floor of Grimmauld Place. 

Remus loathes to shop. Entirely because he’s really only ever done it with Sirius. Lovely Padfoot who cannot focus on one single thing for the life of him.

Having Harry along helps, because even though Sirius buys almost everything Harry touches, he also manages to focus entirely on what the small boy needs.

“How does it feel?” Remus asks after Harry pulls a shirt over his head that he’d actually picked for himself. It is a soft green jumper. If he likes it, it will be the only green piece of clothing they buy today.

“I dunno,” Harry stares at the sleeves where they fall on his wrists. “Tight?”

They aren’t too small. They fit him the way they are supposed to.

“Do me a favour and jump around a bit. Like a monkey,” Sirius throws his arms in the air and does a strange little hop.

Harry giggles and follows suit, making small noises that aren’t anything like a monkey.

The pair of them had spent the morning talking about magical creatures and animals Harry had learned in school. Sirius was very intrigued by giraffes and Harry was already trying to convince them to adopt a niffler.

“Does it pull anywhere? Feel like you can’t move fully?” Remus asks, attempting to keep his monkeys on task.

Harry shakes his head and Remus pulls the shirt up and off, setting it in the buy pile.

A pile that is wonderfully large. 

“I’m hungry,” Harry says, matter of fact.

They’ve been working on that. Identifying when his body needs certain things. Sleep, water, food.

“Burgers,” Sirius throws out, practically salivating.

“We had burgers yesterday,” Harry points out.

“How about something with a vegetable,” Remus suggests.

“Burgers with lettuce,” Sirius amends.

Harry giggles and they gather up everything in the room.

“I’ll go pay,” Sirius kisses Remus gently.

Remus takes Harry’s hand and leads him out of the store.

“Are you doing alright, Harry? I know this has been a lot,” Remus says.

Harry nods, though he is distracted by all of the people walking down the street.

Remus and Sirius had told Harry about Diagon Alley, but they had said he would have to wait to go until they could figure out a disguise. They didn’t want him getting swamped by wizards and witches. Harry wasn’t sure what they meant, but he was grateful that they cared so much about him.

“After lunch, I thought we could do something fun.”

“Like what?” Harry asks, glancing up at his Uncle Moony.

“Maybe we could go to the cinema, or the zoo. Or there is a park near here,” Moony suggests.

“Padfoot would love the park, just saying,” Sirius exits, three big bags in his hands.

Harry reaches up to take the bags and then remembers that he isn’t supposed to do that.

“Let’s go to the park,” he says instead, knowing that it will make his uncle and his godfather happy.

Remus shoots Sirius a look, but nods. 

Harry would have picked the park anyway. He never got to have fun at the park without worrying about Dudley and his friends.

They eat a quick lunch and then Harry and Padfoot run around the park near Grimmauld Place until both of them are exhausted.

Harry even meets another boy, named Dean, and they play on the swings together while Padfoot lays at Remus’s feet. It is hard for Harry to interact with someone and not be thinking of what might happen next. Or being too tired to have any fun.

Learning how to be a kid was harder than Harry thought it would be. He could do whatever he wanted as long as he checked in with Remus and Sirius beforehand. And he could ask for whatever he needed- even whatever he wanted, and they would give it to him. Still, it was hard sometimes to actually ask for what he wanted. Or needed.

It takes a few weeks, but Harry finds his playful side. He wakes up with so much energy and bounces around the kitchen eating his breakfast while talking a mile a minute about what he wants to do that day.

Remus and Sirius decided to keep him at home for school, Remus tutoring him in English and Maths and Sirius tutoring him in magic and mischief.

It is great luck that Sirius Black is very much still an eight year old boy at heart, as he has no trouble coming up with adventures for the both of them.

With Remus tagging along as the voice of reason and safety.

They usually take a field trip in the morning, to the park or a museum or the beach. Harry’s first time at the beach goes terribly.

He hates the sand and a seagull knocks his chips cone out of his hands after dive-bombing him.

Plus, he can’t swim. Never learned how. Sirius puts a pool in on the fourth floor of Grimmauld and proceeds to give him lessons.

Harry’s favourite trips though are trips to the library.

He likes having quiet time with Moony, walking down the rows of books and deciding for himself what he’d like to read next.

Sirius tried to go once, but he got shushed by the librarian twice in the first five minutes.

It has a children’s room on the second floor with colourful paper animals hanging from the ceiling and a slide. Harry beelines for the books, pulling thick ones off the shelf and showing them to Moony.

Clearly hoping to impress his new guardian.

Remus checks out ten books for Harry.

And then they find a corner filled with bean bag chairs and Remus reads to him for a while.

“Can I try?” Harry asks, picking up a different book.

This one with a group of young boys on the cover.

“Certainly,” Remus smiles.

Harry opens the book and starts reading, though Remus notices that every once in a while he misreads.

Saying though instead of thought and once as when.

“Harry, what sort of books do you read in school?” Remus asks, making Harry pause and look up at him.

“Um, anything really. We read the magic treehouse books a lot.”

“And do you have trouble? Reading?” Remus tries to be gentle.

“No! Well, sometimes. The words get too blurry,” Harry explains, seeming a bit ashamed.

Blurry.

Remus realises that it must be Harry’s glasses.

He needs a different prescription.

“We’ll have to get you a new pair of glasses. Something spiffy,” Remus smiles, taking the book out of Harry’s hands and putting it on the top of the pile. “What if we went now?”

Harry nods.

Once they take care of the necessary things like his education, and his glasses, and his ability to feel safe, life gets easier for the three of them. They spend nights playing games, and mornings out in the garden, Sirius trying to teach Harry how to play Quidditch with only the two of them to play all of the positions. They fill more rooms of the gigantic townhouse with toys and clothes and things Harry won’t need until he starts at Hogwarts. 

And something different heals in each of them.

For Harry, it is the long held doubt that anyone could love him for simply being Harry. Just Harry. 

For Moony, it is the part of himself that always thought he was a danger. But Harry guessed at his condition before he and Padfoot had figured out how to address it. And much like James, Harry had assured him that he loved Remus and that he could never be afraid of him.

The biggest healing happened for Sirius. With every loud laugh and bright smile from his godson, he let go of the idea that he had been the reason for all of his friends' suffering and terrible ends. If he could make Harry happy and give him a life filled with joy and love, the past wouldn’t be able to weigh him down so much.

Suffice to say, Harry adjusts extraordinarily well to life with Padfoot and Moony. By the time Halloween rolls around, the three of them are quite in sync.

If not too distracted to realise that the anniversary of Harry’s parent’s deaths was imminent.

But then Harry sees children walking down the road in front of Grimmauld Place in costumes and he remembers what Remus and Sirius had told him about his parent’s deaths.

When he goes down for breakfast, he expects to find what he usually does. An extravagant breakfast and an array of ways to spend their day.

Instead, he finds his godfather and his uncle in a tight embrace, just standing in the middle of the kitchen.

“Padfoot? Moony?” He asks, not wanting to intrude but also worried.

Sirius pulls back and offers a watery smile at his godson.

“We were just talking about your Dad. And your Mum,” Sirius says.

“I realised it was Halloween,” Harry says, nodding his head as if to say me too.

Remus steps towards him and crouches down, opening his arms.

Harry jumps into his arms and soon enough Sirius is there too, squeezing tight.

“I wish they were here,” Harry says, saying out loud what he’d been thinking ever since he realised that his parents were gone. When he’d realised that Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were not his parents.

“Me too,” Remus says into Harry’s hair, rubbing soothing circles over his back.

Harry had never spent this day with people who loved him. He’d never been consoled when he cried over the loss of his family.

He’s sobbing loudly into his guardians shoulders before he realises it.

They stay there, all three of them, for a while, crouched on the floor of the kitchen, letting themselves feel the loss.

Eventually, Harry hears Remus’s hip crick and he insists that they get up off the floor.

“What do you want to do today, Pronglet?” Sirius asks, setting the kettle on the stove.

“Nothin,” Harry shrugs, kicking the leg of the kitchen table he is sitting at.

Remus and Sirius share a look. They’d thought about offering to bring him to Godric’s Hollow, but they’d seen the state of the house. It wouldn’t do Harry any good to see that at this point.

“Could we just stay home? Have you got a telly?” Harry asks.

They have got a telly. In fact, before a shy eight year old came into their house, they watched a lot of telly.

But since they spent almost all of their time trying to make sure Harry feels loved and seen, they had almost forgotten it was an option.

“I’ve got an idea,” Sirius says, winking and disappearing from the kitchen in a flash. Remus chuckles and gets up.

“While he’s doing… whatever it is he is doing, what would you like for breakfast?”

Harry helps Remus make ham and cheese scones and then they track Sirius down so they can eat them together.

They find him on the third floor, in Remus and Sirius’s bedroom. He’d moved the telly in front of their bed and then transfigured the bed into something bigger with too many pillows and blankets.

“Movie day,” he announces. “I’ve got all the best ones. And we’ll make popcorn and get snacks and have all the candy we can find.”

He stands there with his hands on his hips, obviously pleased with himself.

“Can we get ice cream too?” Harry asks.

Finally, all three boys break into smiles and the sadness gets a little easier to feel.

They eat breakfast, because Remus insists they can’t start the day with popcorn and chocolate, and then they pile into the bed and watch movie after movie, late into the night until Harry and Sirius have passed out in sugar comas and Remus can no longer keep his eyes open.