The rifle feels heavy in Caitlyn's bloodied hand as she pulls herself up, body twisting and ribs screaming as she carelessly throws it to the ground, an exhausted grunt falling unbidden from her lips just as she heaves with the last remainder of her strength up the ladder. Caitlyn's back hits the ground with a weighted thud as she rolls over, arms wide, the stars looking down, unchanging and unforgiving. And not even a second goes by before she feels her lip start to tremble and the suffocating tightness that is squeezing her heart makes her face twist in agony. The freshly split lip from Sevika's fist tears open once more, blood mixing with dirt, sweat and tears.
A broken sob echos out into the night and Caitlyn rushes to smother the second one that is furiously clawing its way up her throat, but it stll slips out through her fingers, muffled and clear all the same. Vi's heartbroken face plays out on loop and Cait does her best to burn the memories away, bloodshot blue eyes screwing shut as her head pulsates the pressure building. The sobs are still singing their song to the stars above her, to the street lights that almost shine directly on her, a spotlight to her grief. She gives up on covering her mouth and instead cups her head, holds it in her hands as she curls in on herself. The sheer intensity of everything settling on her like a blanket, encasing itself around her the way Vi's arms did when they kissed. The memory burning bright, the ghost of Vi's breath stinging her lips as she heaves and chokes.
Raggedly Caitlyn forces herself to her knees, head down as her nails dig into the dirt despreate to right herself, to gain any sembalnce of control as the tears freely cascade down her bruised cheeks. Vi's name pushes at her lips, wants to be spoken, sobbed and heard but it never comes, never makes its way around the jaggered angry cries that demand attention. Caitlyn lifts her weary head up to the streetlamp, searches it for the answers but all she sees is the cracking electricity fluttering ever so slightly. Her eyes drift to where she thinks the council building barely stands, it's structure shattered and dead and she longs. Longs for her Mother, longs for the peaceful stillness of her room, longs for Vi holding her hand close as they breathe in tandem.
But the peace doesn't come. Instead, the sobs quiet down slowly until only wrecked hiccups remain and her insides tangle themselves up, ugly and restless. Caitlyn shivers in the night, defeated beyond reason and cries for her heart, because of it. Feels the cold seep into her bones where her regret has made itself at home as she unsteadily gets to her feet panting painfully as she bends down, a protective arm around her ribs wiling her heart to stop, willing the urge to scream to go away.
Ignoring the way every fibre of her being wants to run back to Vi as she curls deft fingers around her scuffed weapon Caitlyn straightens her back as much as she can and rolls her shoulders, despite the protest in her muscles.
With the last bits of adrenaline leaving her as she begins limping her way back to topside, Caitlyn spares a look over she shoulder towards the ladder and imagines Vi, alone, beaten and lost. Abandoned. A blood soaked tear falls passed her lips, lands over her heart as she struggles. Mournfully, Caitlyn whispers to her Mother, to Vi to whomever will listen as she rips her gaze away, her back dissapearing into the inky darkness, the weight of the world on her shoulders and the burden of revenge in her veins.
"Forgive me."