I remember our first kiss.
It was during that summer before everything went down; when we had no idea what was ahead of us. Where our days were spent under the sun, lying on the grass for hours. The same summer in which I spent more nights in your bed than mine, by the moonlight counting your freckles and by the sunlight covering what your kisses left behind.
The day it happened not a single cloud could be seen in the sky. The sun was like a hole in the sky and a warm breeze seemed to follow us everywhere we went.
Before that day nothing between us had truly happened. I did have my fair share of blushing and butterflies in my stomach around you. I knew I liked you but I wasn’t sure you felt the same way about me, even if every playful smile left me hopeful.
One day you told me about this lake that was crossing the woods near your house. You told me you went once with your brothers years ago. You said you didn’t remember much about it but it was beautiful, the kind of beautiful I would like. With that statement you caught my attention. I don’t remember ever seeing a lake near your house, even my father was unaware of it when I asked him about it.
We left during the morning, before the sun reached the top of the sky. The plan was to stay there the entire day. On our way I told you that we could not have picked a better day than this one. A clear sky and warm weather, what more could we ask for? A small smile appeared on your lips when I said that, something you usually did when I said something you found amusing.
It took us less time than what I expected to get there. I knew we were close when I could hear the faint sound of water running. Nothing could have prepared me for the image of the lake. If I am being honest, I wasn’t expecting much from it. I thought you were just trying to convince me to come with you to get away for a while– I was just happy to be with you alone.
Upon seeing the lake you didn’t think twice before jumping in the water. Before I could notice, you were in the water, quickly discarding your clothes and submerging in it. You swam for a moment before turning your head to look at me over your shoulder, you smiled and motioned with your hand to me. “It’s beautiful, come inside”
“In a moment”
I did eventually join you after picking up your clothes and putting our things closer to the shore. You were right it was perfect, though i couldn't tell whether it was from being next to you or the water itself. It was hypnotic watching you swim, come in and out the water, gliding through the water creating waves around you.
We ended up sprawled on the towels sunbathing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off your green bathing suit. Or your skin and the freckles all over it. Or your hair which I wished to run my fingers through and braid and put flowers on.
“What are you thinking about? You’re awfully quiet” you said, sitting up on your elbows.
“If you think about it, freckles look a lot like stars” that was the best thing i could say to put my thoughts into words.
The corners of your mouth pulled up, now you were grinning at me. “Is that why you were looking at me so much?”
I only turned my face away from you, feeling heat raise to my face. Now you were downright smirking, “Luna, I think you might be getting a sunburn. I mean you are all red.” I knew you were teasing me because you found it entertaining, but I worried I had said too much.
When I turned to look at you again your eyes were still on me. You winked and went back to what you were doing. That didn’t help my blush at all.
We planned on leaving before the sun set so as not to be in the woods at night. I was leaning against a tree, the bark rough on my back. I was waiting for you to finish packing up. My right hand was fisting my shoes by the laces, fingers starting to feel cramped from the tight hold. I never had a problem walking barefoot, I liked feeling the ground beneath my feet.
My eyes could only focus on you. I watch your every move. How you put on your t-shirt. How you put the hair that was bothering you behind your ears. How you stuffed everything inside your backpack. All I could do was watch.
“Ginny,” I called your name, “Let’s go.”
“Wait, Luna, I need to ask you something first.” You said coming towards me.
I waited for you to come in front of me. In that moment I had no idea what you were going to say. Nothing could have prepared me for what you were going to say.
“Can I kiss you?” You had asked, looking me straight in the eye. I couldn’t find any trace of humor in your voice or face.
It was bold and it took me by surprise. “What?” I asked you, not believing what I was hearing.
“I asked if I could kiss you.” You said, this time slower, taking a step towards me. By now our noses were almost touching. If I were to take a set forward I would be doing what I had been dreaming for so long.
And I did. In a random surge of confidence I took the step. I didn’t even think about it. In the blink of an eye your lips were on mine.
For a moment I swore flowers were blooming inside my lungs. They were all I could smell; my nostrils and lungs were filled with the scent of flowers. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest.
Your lips were soft and warm, welcoming me without any hesitation. I don't remember when I dropped my shoes but from one moment to the other both of my hands were holding you. Your hair, your waist, your face. I remember putting my hands in everything I could reach. You opened your mouth and then our teeth were clashing. I don't know for how long we went on.
You were the one who pulled away first. A smug smile made its way to your lips and you simply said, “I knew it.”
I guess I was never as clever as I thought.
I carry this memory inside my chest as if it were my own heart. I hope it never slips away.